Top 100 Humor Seriously Quotes
#2. You didn't do anything." A long minute passed before he said, "I don't want to take advantage of you."
Seriously? "I kissed you."
"I'm aware of that.
Elle Todd
#3. What I want to do is to make people laugh so that they'll see things seriously.
William Zinsser
#4. That man has some seriously oversized ovaries. Can you say PMS? He barked at anyone and everyone before shoving his way outside.
H.M. Ward
#5. A lot of action characters are a little bit too serious as well. They take themselves a bit too seriously, which I don't find particularly interesting, whereas I like the fact that there was at least some humor in this because really it's a piece of entertainment.
Guy Pearce
#6. I don't think you're going to start a riot, but until you prove you have more survival instincts than a seriously stressed out lemming, you'll stay at the bar.
Kim Dare
#7. ... were trying to tell the dumb blonde to close her mouth, but the woman clearly took her hair color very seriously.
Sharon Green
#8. He guffawed. Motherfucker seriously guffawed.
Red Tash
#9. Oh for craps sake. You're not dying again, are you? It's seriously inconvenient when you do that. -Aphrodite
P.C. Cast
#10. You aren't human. Your mother is a...sex demon." She tripped over that a little, because seriously, that was one of those things you never thought you'd say. {Location 2966}
Larissa Ione
#11. And no you're not that important that you must always dismiss your current company to answer whomever is on the phone. Seriously, you're not.
Jayce O'Neal
#12. Seriously. Dados bounce." Bobby in Raven Rise
D.J. MacHale
#13. His joy was a release of Paul's conversion, not the heavy backslapping practical-joking humor of the Victorians, nor the cynical satire or the flippancy of the twenty first century mass media, just the gift of not taking himself or his adversaries too seriously.
John Charles Pollock
#14. Are you seriously telling me the truth about all this?" I asked.
"I seriously am," he replied. "I was also serious about stealing a fry.
Lindsay Ribar
#15. I'd seriously contemplated a real collar - a sparkly green one - if only because I was sure it would offend his dignity.
Kelley Armstrong
#16. All higher humor begins with ceasing to take oneself seriously.
Hermann Hesse
#17. No. Seriously. Speak American and not this ancient and very fucked-up, confusing olden-day Euro crap. Without the confusing woo-woo refrences, explain why the hell you're writing Zoey off.
P.C. Cast
#18. Celebrate your success and find humor in your failures. Don't take yourself so seriously. Loosen up and everyone around you will loosen up. Have fun and always show enthusiasm. When all else fails, put on a costume and sing a silly song.
Sam Walton
#19. Okay, that was, I have to say, about the cheesiest thing I ever heard in my life," I say to Angela as we're milling around afterward. We hug, so Billy can take our picture. "I mean, seriously. Just be? You should write ads for Nike.
Cynthia Hand
#21. Oh, seriously
how could you be miserable with twenty thingamabobs AND a snarfblat?!
John Bytheway
#22. Nuala, can we just have, like, a cease-fire? I mean, you can go back to calling me an ass and trying to lure me to my death tomorrow and I'll go back to treating you like a psychotic bitch and researching ways to exorcise you in the morning, but seriously, can we just have a cease-fire for tonight?
Maggie Stiefvater
#23. Define normal, Clara?"
I laughed when I tried to figure out the true definition.
"Normal is a function on a washing machine, Alex." I said seriously.
Kathryn Morgan Parry
#24. The great thing about 'Weeds' is that everything we do is never quite serious enough to be taken seriously. It always has humor behind it, and it think it makes it definitely more fun for the audience.
Alexander Gould
#25. I asked you here today because the police department asked me to assess your mental health."
I huffed and rolled my eyes. "Already? Seriously? It's been a week." I am fucking sunshine.
Devon Ashley
#26. It looks like an asylum landed here," Andrew quipped, poking his head out of Oliver's pocket. "Ooh, I spot an ass-shaped tent."
"What? Seriously?" Sophie said, surprised. However, she was quick to look away. "Oh. You meant that kind of ass. Jeez, Andrew.
Zeinab Alayan
#27. Mum says be careful of boys who never take anything seriously. Dad says a boy needs a good sense of humor to get through his love life. Jazz says my dad must need a sense of humor to get through his love life if he's living in the shed
Cath Crowley
#28. So let me get this straight. You were living in a tent in the woods, but now you're living with Prince Charming and anger management boy? SERIOUSLY?!
Natsuki Takaya
#30. How do you learn not to take things so seriously? Don't take them.
Art Hochberg
#31. Angels have a sense of humor ... The angels wants us to enjoy life. Have a good laugh at yourself every now and again for taking life seriously. Then take time to laugh with the angels!
Margaret Neylon
#32. And, you know, I liked writing humor. Well, I should say, I wanted to write seriously, but it kept turning funny.
Roseanne Barr
#33. I've always had a sick sense of humor, and I've always wanted that to permeate the music because I don't take myself seriously. I take the music seriously, but I know I'm not God's gift to anyone except my mom.
Josh Homme
#34. Seriously, Palta ... " He was honestly puzzled, "I haven't got a clue what you're talking about. What about your ears is supposed to be so bizarre?"
"Um ... You'd have to be blind to miss them," I replied sarcastically. "If you're not, you will be when you poke your eye out on one of them.
M.A. George
#35. Young men are all very well in their place, but it doesn't do to drag them into everything, does it? Diana and I are thinking seriously of promising each other that we will never marry but be nice old maids and live together forever
L.M. Montgomery
#36. Seriously. Poor little me can deal with having mated a millionaire."
"Oh, you found someone else? With less money?
Vivian Arend
#37. Seriously, who curses you with their dying breath and says, I hope your eye twitches!
Rick Riordan
#38. Life is not THAT serious..let's take humor more seriously !
Andrew Matthews
#39. I heard her family might be moving to Anchorage.
Seriously? I would die if I had to move there.
I don't know, with all the UV rays here, it seems like Anchorage might actually provide a longer life span. You don't need as much sunblock, so it's a more economical choice as well.
Richelle Mead
#40. Mistletoe," said Luna dreamily, pointing at a large clump of white berries placed almost over Harry's head. He jumped out from under it.
"Good thinking," said Luna seriously. "It's often infested with nargles.
J.K. Rowling
#41. Good-humor is a philosophic state of mind; it seems to say to Nature that we take her no more seriously than she takes us. I maintain that one should always talk of philosophy with a smile.
William James
#42. I take music pretty seriously. You see that scar on my wrist? You see that? You know where that's from? I heard the Bee Gees were getting back together again. I couldn't take it, OK!
Denis Leary
#43. If he sees you in this apartment he will seriously murder you and then break up with me. And I really, really don't want him to break up with me, Linc."
"But murdering me, that's all good?
Trevion Burns
#44. I would hate to be taken seriously. Serious people are always so grim and uptight that they make me want to dance naked on the lawn playing a flute.
Robert Anton Wilson
#45. If anyone ever saw me dance, they'd have trouble taking me seriously.
Christina Ricci
#46. You have to have humor. If you don't have humor and you take yourself seriously, you're dead in the water. You have to be jostled. I love it. You've gotta have a laugh. It's better than working for a living.
Anthony Hopkins
#47. I watch the tip of my tie sway to and fro and wonder how humans got to a place where we said, "Whoa. Hold on. Before I can take you seriously, you need to hang a brightly colored strip of narrow pointy cloth around your neck.
Jeff Zentner
#48. It was a little difficult to take him seriously when he sang along to a song about a woman taking another woman's man.
Holly Hood
#49. I want to be taken seriously as the type of musician that plays stuff like an electric rake. I mean, how seriously do you take someone like Spike Jones? They take him pretty seriously - a really good musician who made a great contribution in terms of humor, which is part of what I try to do too.
Eugene Chadbourne
#50. And when we take ourselves too seriously, we are grim about the brothers and sisters, especially the dissenting ones, and there will be no health in us and no healing humor.
Walter Brueggemann
#51. You have to figure that there is something seriously wrong with somebody who wants to enter a profession that deals with whether people are screwing enough. Dealing with spirits, spooks, and demons almost seemed normal.
Tom Upton
#52. It's your outlook on life that counts. If you take yourself lightly and don't take yourself too seriously, pretty soon you can find the humor in our everyday lives. And sometimes it can be a lifesaver.
Betty White
#53. D'Artagnan: Why is Athos sitting by himself?
Aramis: He takes his drinking very seriously. Not to worry, he'll be his usual charming self by morning.
Alexandre Dumas
#54. God-fucking-damn but he was seriously good-looking. "Have you ever had the stuffed pancakes here? They're evil. I highly recommend them."
"Heh. The cop is recommending evil," I said. "Too funny."
To my surprise, Ivanov chuckled. "You've discovered my dark side.
Diana Rowland
#55. Finally someone takes me seriously enough to ask for my word of honor, and it's a villain.
Sherwood Smith
#56. I nodded as Peter turned to Donald and smile tha same smile as before. The one that said'you are seriously full of crap
Shelly Crane
#57. Sense of humor. A girl who doesn't take themselves too seriously. And someone who is spontaneous. They're the three things for me that really attract me to a girl.
Christopher Egan
#58. I endeavor to be serious and you will not take me seriously
Sherwood Smith
#59. HUMOR... I sprinkle that s#!t on EVERYTHING!
Tanya Masse
#60. I take very few people seriously, and I'm not one of them.
Cian Beirdd
#61. I'm a pretty tenacious person; I get that from my mom. So sometimes, I use dark humor. I can't take myself too seriously.
Art Alexakis
#62. I am content in my later years. I have kept my good humor and take neither myself nor the next person seriously.
Albert Einstein
#63. I feel that the characters in my book, if they were real, would be like, "Seriously, another plot twist?
Meghan Blistinsky
#64. See?" I crowed. "I know what I'm doing. Two weeks, tops, and you'll be begging to dip your fries in my shake."
"You think?"
It took me about a second before I realized I'd done it again. My mouth seriously needed a chaperone.
Elise Allen
#65. I can see the humor in just about any situation. After I lost my dad, I realized that none of us should take things too seriously, because everything except death works itself out.
Chris Rock
#66. (Note: If you don't appreciate a little humor in the midst of critically important theological issues, you may not have come to the same conclusion I have, which is this: I don't have to take myself too seriously in order to take God seriously.)
Angie Smith
#67. How can I give you nothing? Do you seriously expect me to buy nothing, wrap up nothing, stick a gift tag on nothing, send a card saying I really hope you like your nothing and lie awake worrying that the nothing I got you was the right color nothing you always anted? Have a heart!
Hilary McKay
#68. The spells are made up. I have met people who assure me, very seriously, that they are trying to do them, and I can assure them, just as seriously, that they don't work.
J.K. Rowling
#69. It's hard to take sex ed seriously when the teachers haven't even wiggled their stuff in this millennium.
Amber Kizer
#70. Whispering against her ear, he confessed, "When I'm really stressed out ... I play with my toes."
Gwen leaned back a bit and stared at him. "Seriously?"
"It's really relaxing and very bearlike."
And very weird. And yet ... "I'm oddly comforted by this information.
Shelly Laurenston
#71. Alec's trying to get Magnus to take him seriously, but he's never told our parents about Magnus, or even that he likes, you know -" "Warlocks ?" Simon said.
Cassandra Clare
#72. Andrea stared at me. "You're not taking me seriously!"
"That's probably because you're not excited enough," Derek said. "You should clench your fists like they do in the movies, shake them, and yell, 'This is bigger than any of us! It goes all the way to the top!
Ilona Andrews
#73. I didn't want to be here.
Seriously.
I mean, if I made it through the night without catching an STD from standing in this godforsaken shithole, it would be a miracle.
Lee Piper
#74. Good luck with that, I said. Because seriously. The fuck? Strawberry social? Did I somehow move onto the set of the remake of Little House on the Prairie?
Susan Juby
#75. Part of the appeal of the fantastic is taking ridiculous ideas very seriously and pretending they're not absurd.
China Mieville
#76. So what's the point of it all?"
"Seriously?" I asked. "Seriously? You're asking me for the meaning of life? Isn't that a little stereotypical?"
"Well it's a reasonable question," you persisted.
Andy Weir
#77. Fine," I growled. "You win. I'll help you."
"Thank you."
"Seriously? You threatened my family if I didn't agree. I don't really think thank you covers it."
He pressed his lips together and shrugged. "Manners never killed anyone.
K.J. McPike
#78. The first moment someone calls for a revolution is usually the last moment I take them seriously.
Chuck Klosterman
#79. Did you just seriously quote Grease? I think I'm gonna have to revoke your man card.
Elizabeth Sharp
#80. We've got to have a little humor in our lives. You had better take seriously that which should be taken seriously but, at the same time, we can bring in a touch of humor now and again. If the time ever comes when we can't smile at ourselves, it will be a sad time.
Gordon B. Hinckley
#81. Maintain a sense of humor. People who take themselves too seriously are power-crazy. If they win it will be haircuts for all. Beware of power freaks.
Abbie Hoffman
#82. I think everybody you know, we all have a sense of humor and I'm not one to take myself too seriously.
John Cena
#83. I never worry about people not taking my work seriously as a result of the humor. In the end, the comic's best trick is the illusion that comedy is effortless. That people imagine what he's doing is easy is an occupational hazard.
Richard Russo
#84. I take making music seriously, but you have to have a sense of humor about yourself. I invite people into my life. That's how I do it.
Mac DeMarco
#85. Take life seriously but none of the people in it.
Kurt Vonnegut
#86. I love straight-face comedy or relatively subtle comedy. And then I turn around and I find myself doing very broad comedy but it's all fun and you have to keep your sense of humor and not take yourself seriously.
Betty White
#87. With Portlandia, I don't think our intention is always to find something funny. Sometimes the humor comes from taking something really seriously. We're okay with making somebody feel uncomfortable or uneasy.
Carrie Brownstein
#88. Parker and I are good...friends."
"Seriously?" Martha quirked an eyebrow. "What're ya'll for real? A couple? I swear you look as smitten as a bull in a herd of...other bulls.
Kerry Adrienne
#89. My heart skips a beat. Seriously, like a CD from the public library, it goes ZZebbTTT and skips.
Brent Crawford
#90. Geez, you guys. I know I'm popular and all, but seriously, you're a bit too co-dependent for me. I'm going to need you to step away from my personal bubble." A wispy vine-woman curled ivy tendrils around his arm, and he sliced through them with his dagger. "No! Bad Wraith! No touchie!
Julie Kagawa
#91. Someone asked me what the key to being a good frontman was, and I think having a sense of humor about it is pretty near the top of that list. It's a very strange place to be in, and I don't take that role too seriously.
Alex Turner
#92. Humor is ... despair refusing to take itself seriously.
Arland Ussher
#93. Make me the father, O Lord, who will show my sons enough of a sense of humor, so that they will always be serious, but never take themselves too seriously. Give them humility, so they will always remember the simplicity of true greatness, the open mind of true wisdom, the meekness of true strength.
Thom S. Rainer
#94. Don't take life seriously, you never make it out alive anyways
A. Vaidyanathan
#95. You don't need a search warrant to go through someone's trash. Seriously. Once it hits the curb it is totally fair game-you an look it up.
Ally Carter
#96. April Fools' is the only day to take people seriously.
Criss Jami
#97. Have the WNBA lower the hoops. Because even though layups get the job done, they're lame. Seriously, layups look the way Woody Allen talks. Wimpy as fuck.
Phoebe Robinson
#98. When you focus on the positive, the blessings and the humor and just do your thing and you stop worrying SO much about what every one else is thinking and doing and STOP taking life way too seriously ... Awesomeness happens!
Tanya Masse
#99. He looks like a runway model. How in the world am I going to be able to reject that? The world is so unfair. Seriously, it's like turning Brad Pitt down for a date. The girl who could actually do it should win an award for idiot of the century.
Colleen Houck
#100. The bar was bursting with guys tonight - seriously, it was like Muscles R Us up in here, all filled-out chests and bulging arms with biceps upon biceps.
Cindi Madsen
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