Top 100 Humor Is Good Quotes
#1. A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?
Bob Hope
#2. I think comedy is a good way to deal with anything. I hear about people in the hospital who are ill, and they use humor to help them through it. I think it's a great remedy for many things.
Brian Regan
#3. Mia: I was sixteen when I first realized my mom was more concerned about my appearance than I was ... I'll be talking to my mom and realize she hasn't heard a word because she's studying my face to see if the foundation I'm using is a good match for my skin tone.
Mia Fontaine
#4. A zoo is a good place to make a spectacle of yourself, as the people around you have creepier, more photogenic things to look at.
David Sedaris
#5. Yet if strict criticism should till frown on our method, let candor and good humor forgive what is done to the best of our judgment, for the sake of perspicuity in the story and the delight and entertainment of our candid reader.
Sarah Fielding
#6. Maybe age is kinder to us than we think. With my bad eyes, I can't see how bad I look, and with my rotten memory, I have a good excuse for getting out of a lot of stuff.
Erma Bombeck
#7. You see, things being good has nothing to do with how you feel outside, it is all to do with how you are inside.
Helen Fielding
#8. (1)BEING A POET
is like opening a car door
& exposing yourself.
(2)BEING A GOOD POET
is like opening the door
& exposing the passenger
as well.
Chocolate Waters
#9. It is also important to guard against mistaking for good-nature what is properly good-humor,
a cheerful flow of spirits and easy temper not readily annoyed, which is compatible with great selfishness.
Richard Whately
#10. The verdict of this court is that the accused are guilty of witchcraft. The maximum penalty the law allows is to be burned to death.However, in view of your previous good background I am disposed to be lenient. I therefore sentence you to be burned alive.
Richard Curtis
#11. (Hadrian Blackwater while poisoned) Gill the fish ... rest is best ... time is now ... it feels so good to ...
Michael J. Sullivan
#12. I thought the line 'I am the daughter of the former governor of Alaska' was very funny. I think the word is 'sarcasm.' In my family we think laughing is good. My parents raised me to have a sense of humor and to live a normal life.
Andrea Fay Friedman
#13. Diligence is a good thing, but taking things easy is much more restful.
Mark Twain
#14. I do find things funny. When you see life through the eyes of someone with a good sense of humor, which my grandmother did, life is a human comedy.
George Takei
#15. Some people are commended for a giddy kind of good-humor, which is as much a virtue as drunkenness.
Alexander Pope
#16. Honest good humor is the oil and wine of a merry meeting, and there is no jovial companionship equal to that where the jokes are rather small and laughter abundant.
Washington Irving
#17. Walter Scott has no business to write novels, especially good ones. - It is not fair. - He has fame and profit enough as a poet, and should not be taking the bread out of other people's mouths. - I do not like him, and do not mean to like Waverley if I can help it - but fear I must.
Jane Austen
#18. I will remember this word," he said. "Shenanigans. It is a good word.
John Flanagan
#19. I flipped the good doctor the bird.
Snorting, Gideon caught my hand and pulled me back down the hall.
"What is it with you and giving people the finger?"
"What? It's a classic.
Sylvia Day
#20. People always talk about how great it is to get older. All I saw were more rules and more adults telling me what I could and couldn't do, in the name of what's " good for me." Yeah, well, asparagus is good for me, but it still makes me want to throw up.
James Patterson
#21. Soren huffed. "I saw her looking at me when we were changing into our uniforms."
"She was looking at you because you're built like a bull."
Soren's laugh was nervous, clipped. "Is that good?"
"It'd be great if she were a cow.
Veronica Rossi
#23. I don't know about you, but when they first introduced bottled water, I thought it was so funny, I was like "Bottled water! Haha, they're selling bottled water! ... I guess I'll try it. Ah, this is good, this is more watery than water. Yeah, this has got a water kick to it."
Jim Gaffigan
#24. My sense of teasing is completely lost on you.", Patrick said, hoisting himself back up. "It's a shame too. Most people tell me my sense of humor is my best quality, only outdone by my otherworldly good looks.
Nicole Williams
#25. Nick can do a pretty good nice, but it's not the real deal. His is a thin, watery nice, a niceness-au-jus drizzled over a great big asshole sandwich.
Melissa DeCarlo
#26. You think Tide is better, or All?'
'Which has a prettier box?' I ask.
'I don't want a pretty box. I want a dude box.'
Uh-huh,' I deadpan. 'You want a dude box of laundry detergent.'
'Yes, I do.'
'Good luck with that.
E. Lockhart
#27. It's partly the Southernization of America, in that the Southern working-class version of redneck is becoming the national version, and it's good-natured, it has humor and, in some ways, it's a performance.
Robert Charles Wilson
#28. A book without potty humor is like a banana split without hot fudge. It can still be good, I suppose, but you kinda get the feeling that something is missing.
Dav Pilkey
#29. And so we go and I meet his parents. And it's a very strange thing meeting your girlfriend's boyfriend's parents for the first time. Part of you is angry for obvious reasons and part of you still wants to make a good impression. On a side note, they seemed in perfect health.
Mike Birbiglia
#30. Humor is a petal on the flower of hope, and hope blossoms on the vine of faith. They have faith in each other and faith that life has meaning, and from this faith comes their indefatigable good humor, which is their greatest gift to each other - and to me.
Dean Koontz
#31. I think it's part of the responsibility of an artist to shock, to upset, to make people think differently, and to surprise people. And that's where the good humor is, if there's a surprise and there's something unexpected. Something that's not normal, not in the realm of general living expectations.
Bill Plympton
#32. Ook, though very clever, was the worst fighter in the tribe. That is how he ended up with Grot-Grot as his woman. Grot-Grot had a bald patch on the top of her head, she was missing an eye and she smelled like a dead skunk. She did have a good sense of humour though.
Aussiescribbler
#33. I'm so good at my job the law thinks I'm three different hit men and a serial killer. I speak Russian and French, I never had a pet, and the reason why you hate my coffee is that it's decaf.
J. Fally
#34. If you are sad because you know too much, it means that nothing you know is good.
Sergey Vedenyo
#35. Sometimes being a MOM is like a good
ol' country song! You lose your sleep, you lose your hair, you lose your patience, you lose your energy, you lose your memory AND you lose your SANITY! But you DO IT all for LOVE!
Tanya Masse
#36. A flag is supposed to represent everything that a country does. It doesn't only represent the good things. If you burn the flag, you're burning the flag for what you perceive to be the bad things the country has done. it's only a symbol. It's only a piece of cloth.
George Carlin
#37. It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.
P.G. Wodehouse
#38. Human misery must somewhere have a stop; there is no wind that always blows a storm; great good fortune comes to failure in the end. All is change; all yields its place and goes; to persevere, trusting in what hopes he has, is courage in a man. The coward despairs.
Euripides
#39. Your advice seems a little ironical."
"Oh, you may either follow it or reverse it - that is its chief beauty. It is equally good taken either way.
Thomas Henry Lister
#40. Good-humor is a state between gayety and unconcern,
the act or emanation of a mind at leisure to regard the gratification of another.
Samuel Johnson
#41. Good science is done by being curious in general, by asking questions all around, by acknowledging the likelihood of being wrong and taking this in good humor for granted, by having a deep fondness for nature, and by being made jumpy and nervous by ignorance.
Lewis Thomas
#42. Time is the worst place, so to speak, to get lost in, as Arthur Dent could testify, having been lost in both time and space a good deal. At least being lost in space kept you busy.
Douglas Adams
#43. What makes a good family? Well, I suppose obviously love. Love lubricated often I think by humor. I think a family that can laugh at each other and tease themselves and who are able to be jolly with each other I think is the key.
Stephen Fry
#44. The first glass is for myself, the second for my friends, the third for good humor, and the forth for my enemies.
William Temple
#46. I like guys who have a plan or a dream. A good sense of humor is also a must. I can be weird with my humor and say things that are random. You need to understand that I'm really goofy and go with it.
Edy Ganem
#47. The poet is a faker / Who's so good at his act / He even fakes the pain / Of pain he feels in fact.
Fernando Pessoa
#48. The only good hero is the kind who survives to talk about merchandising.
Simon R. Green
#49. A good programmer is someone who always looks both ways before crossing a one-way street.
Doug Linder
#50. We take ourselves way too seriously, and we don't take God seriously enough. It is not by accident that humor and humility come from the same root word. If you can laugh at yourself, you'll always have plenty of good material.
Rick Warren
#51. A company could use bricks to measure their growth rate. How many bricks have angry investors thrown at you lately? If the answer is none, then your growth rate is probably pretty good ... for the moment.
Amy Summers
#52. I will call him Small Bob," said Bob. "He is a good monster."
End of discussion.The Titan hefted his spear and they continued marching into the gloom.
Rick Riordan
#53. Making money is good, but there's no pockets in a shroud.
Terry Pratchett
#54. Tony and I had a good on and off screen relationship, we are two very different people, but we did share a sense of humor, we now live in different parts of the world but when we find ourselves in the same place it is more or less as if there had been no years in between.
Roger Moore
#55. It is a great thing to start life with a small number of really good books which are your very own.
Arthur Conan Doyle
#56. How ... how are you doing, Jace?'
Holding on. Just barely. Charlie?'
Charlie's tone is almost conversational. 'Kind of getting the urge to kill both of you. Think I'm gonna head back.'
Sure, okay, no problem.'
Yeah, yeah, good idea. You do that.
D.D. Barant
#57. You're impossible." I sighed. "And really weird. No wonder Jared likes you."
"Is that a good thing or not?"
I shrugged. "You two have bittersweet panty-dropping connection."
"Gross.
Rea Lidde
#58. Swimming is good for you, especially if you're drowning. Not only do you get a cardiovascular workout but also you don't die.
Jimmy Carr
#59. HP-UX is a pretty good implementation of BSD, although it's not as featureful as SunOS.
John R. Levine
#60. As Queen Elizabeth II said after her annus horribilis: "There can be no doubt that criticism is good for people and institutions . . . but scrutiny can be just as effective if it is made with a touch of gentleness, good humor, and understanding.
Tim Clissold
#61. The mark of a good book is not needing a bookmark.
Friend
#62. Hey, listen,' I say. " Fascinating as this is, we've got to go now. I have to collect the invites for my funeral."
That shuts them up. Fiona looks astonished." Really?
" Yeah." I grab Zoey's arm. "It's a shame i can't be there myself - i like parties. Text me if you think of any good hymns!
Jenny Downham
#63. How would you feel about sharing your bed?" she asked.
Tristan blinked. "Excuse me?"
"He'd love to!" Gary said.
Tristan shot him a look,
"Good," said Ivy, failing to notice Gary's wink. "Ella can be a pillow hog, but all you have to do is roll over her.
Elizabeth Chandler
#64. Cole: " There's the old Nik. No 'how do you do', no talk of the weather. Just a good swift kick to the balls."
Nikki: "A kick to your balls is an option?
Brodi Ashton
#65. The disadvantage to humor, and where a good leader must be vigilant, is that everyone has a different sense of humor and humor can be used as a weapon to humiliate others.
Jim Korkis
#66. I'm convinced that petting a puppy is good luck.
Meg Donohue
#67. But in such cases as these a good memory is unpardonable.
Jane Austen
#69. I hate meeting new people even new clients who intend to give me money. I try to be pleasant but I'm not very good at it. The best I can usually pull off is 'professional if somewhat chilly.' It's not ideal no. But it beats 'awkward and bitchy.
Cherie Priest
#70. Just because a woman is good at something doesn't necessarily mean it's what she should do in life. If that were the case most of the women in the Belle family would be hookers.
Paula Wall
#71. Tell you what, you let me go, and I'll ask you plenty of questions about your race. Until then, I'm slightly distracted with how this little vacation on the good ship Holy Sh*t is going to pan out for me.
J.R. Ward
#72. Try not to have a good time ... this is supposed to be educational.
Charles M. Schulz
#73. Beer makes all jokes funny. Beer makes ugly and fat women attractive, which is something ugly women can't do for themselves, because they're too busy getting fat. Beer is also refreshing and a good listener.
Dick Masterson
#74. Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
John Kenneth Galbraith
#75. Any good humor is sophomoric. 'Sophomoric' is the liberal word for funny.
Michael O'Donoghue
#77. Friends, romans, countrymen lend me your ears i want to burry ceasar but not to praise him. The evil that men do lives after them the good is often entered their their bones if it were so then let it be with ceasar.
Gaius Iulius Caesar
#78. One very gratifying compliment I sometimes hear is that women want to be my best friend. This endlessly amuses my actual best friend, Jocelyn, because in her estimation I'm 'a good friend, but not that great.
Mindy Kaling
#79. New Year's Day: Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.
Mark Twain
#80. Bein' rich is having leftovers. Good leftovers make yo' tongue fly outta yo' mouth and smack yo' brains out.
Paula H. Deen
#81. I like men who have goals, something that they are passionate about and work hard to achieve. A good sense of humor is important too. And I like tall guys!
Ana Ivanovic
#82. I believe that singing is the key to long life, a good figure, a stable temperament, increased intelligence, new friends, super self-confidence, heightened sexual attractiveness, and a better sense of humor.
Brian Eno
#83. God-fucking-damn but he was seriously good-looking. "Have you ever had the stuffed pancakes here? They're evil. I highly recommend them."
"Heh. The cop is recommending evil," I said. "Too funny."
To my surprise, Ivanov chuckled. "You've discovered my dark side.
Diana Rowland
#84. Plus, humor is a good way to hide the pain. - Leo
Rick Riordan
#86. Good humor is a tonic for mind and body. It is the best antidote for anxiety and depression. It is a business asset. It attracts and keeps friends. It lightens human burdens. It is the direct route to serenity and contentment.
Grenville Kleiser
#87. My name is Markowski. I carry a badge. Also a crucifix, some wooden stakes, a big vial of holy water, and a 9mm Beretta loaded with silver bullets.
I was never a Boy Scout but "Be Prepared" is still a good motto to live by. Especially if you plan to keep living.
Justin Gustainis
#88. Anybody with a good sense of humor is one-up on their competition. We respond to somebody who has the ability to make us laugh. It's a bonding influence.
Robert Orben
#89. After they left the office, Peabody shoved her hands in her pockets. "These nicknames are pissing me off."
"But you're not I'm-Too-Good-to-Pee-Body. Harris is."
"It's my damn name. And now I have to pee. It's like my bladder has to prove something."
"Pee at the bank. Consider it a deposit.
J.D. Robb
#90. There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
#91. Sure," said Adrian. "I bet going in there and kicking down the door will change their minds. Take Rose with you, and you guys'll make a really good impression.
Richelle Mead
#92. Alone-sex didn't count. It's like the difference between thinking to yourself or having a good conversation with someone
the pleasure is in the exchange.
-Liberty Jones
Lisa Kleypas
#93. Honesty is always good, except when it's better to lie.
James Patterson
#95. Educational system in America is not as good as in China. You may be an idiot. It is hard to tell with you white people.
Kate Danley
#96. Zee said, grumpily, "Liebling, this is not a good idea."
"Zee," I told him, "I am completely out of good ideas and am doing my best with the bad ones I have left.
Patricia Briggs
#97. Most people don't understand what humor is. They think it's something lighthearted and cheerful. Like 'good humor.' But it isn't. It's looking into the darkness and spitting at it with a joke. Humor is dark. Humor is that we're all going to die.
B.G. Harlen
#98. You play because you have a guilty attraction to supernatural beasts and harlequin love stories, but you harbour the secret presumption that you could write them way better yourself. Good. This is your opportunity to prove it.
Avery Alder
#99. The first time I was on TV, on "Flight of the Conchords," someone put up a YouTube clip and said, 'You're too ugly to be on TV.' And I was like, 'That is exactly why it's a good thing that I'm on TV.'
Kristen Schaal
#100. It's a lazy Saturday afternoon, there's a couple lying naked in bed reading Encyclopediea Brittannica to each other, and arguing about whether the Andromeda Galaxy is more 'numinous' than the Ressurection. Do they know how to have a good time, or don't they?
Carl Sagan
