Top 100 Simon R. Green Quotes
#1. Wait. You've got principles? We'll have to update your file.
Simon R. Green
#2. If you don't trust anyone, they can't let you down.
Simon R. Green
#3. If you're wise, you'll drop the odd coin in a cap, here and there. Because karma has teeth, all it takes is one really bad day, and we can all fall off the edge.
Simon R. Green
#4. Sometimes you do things to yourself so bad that the memories have barbs and never let you go.
Simon R. Green
#5. There's nothing like a major emergency and the almost certain death of the whole damned world to concentrate the mind wonderfully.
Simon R. Green
#6. Dropped in from a possible future via a Timeslip, and was currently trying to mend his left leg with a pair of pliers and a sonic screwdriver someone had left behind in the bar. I
Simon R. Green
#7. Beyond a certain point, hope is more than self-indulgence. It's self-harm.
Simon R. Green
#8. What is the world coming to, when you can't even trust a rogue vicar and her demon lover?
Simon R. Green
#9. The only good hero is the kind who survives to talk about merchandising.
Simon R. Green
#10. I went to a house that was not a house. I opened a door that was not a door. And what I saw, I saw.
Simon R. Green
#11. There has been peace. There will be peace again. But right now, we have work to do.
Simon R. Green
#12. And then you discover what you should have known all along: that it takes only one bad day to turn your life upside down. That there's nothing you can have, nothing you've earned, nothing you've paid for with blood and loss and suffering ... that the world can't take away from you.
Simon R. Green
#13. He has also worked as a shop assistant, bicycle-repair mechanic, journalist, actor, eccentric dancer, and mail-order bride. He has never worked for MI5. Don't believe anyone who tel s you otherwise. He is, however, secretly Superman.
Simon R. Green
#14. First rule of engineering; beware prototypes. Along with, avoid anything made by an engineer who doesn't have all his own fingers
Simon R. Green
#15. You're the only man I know who makes the sign of the cross when confronted with broccoli.
Simon R. Green
#16. And a quartet of fuzzy post-nuclear mutants were showing each other strange alien porn on the televisions they had implanted in their stomachs.
Simon R. Green
#17. Honor and duty will ride upon my shoulders till the day I die, like the old man of the sea, who once picked up can never be put dow.
Simon R. Green
#18. The next few rooms held a severed hand that was trying to grow itself a new body; a Time Agent whose latest regeneration had gone terribly wrong, turning him inside out; and a sorry-looking werewolf with mange.
Simon R. Green
#19. Future is like an asshole. Everybody has one.
John Taylor (Nightside Series)
Simon R. Green
#20. They're currently sulking, by the way, and comforting themselves by sending abusive e-mails to Bill Gates.
Simon R. Green
#21. They burn down Satanist churches, perform exorcisms on politicians, and they once crucified a street mime. Upside down. And then they set fire to him. A lot of people applauded.
Simon R. Green
#22. This isn't Hell, it's the Nightside. Thought sometime you can see Hell from here.
Simon R. Green
#23. Because nothing makes love and life matter more than the knowledge that some day it must end.
Simon R. Green
#24. Love is for the living, for people who have a stake in the future.
Simon R. Green
#25. Sometimes humour is all we have to say the things that can't be said.
Simon R. Green
#26. A vampire was drinking a bloody Mary, and from the look on her face Mary was really getting into it.
Simon R. Green
#28. She might not have the same survival instincts as us.' 'It's amazing,' said Jeeves. 'You keep talking and you keep coming up with things, and yet not one of them is ever remotely comforting.' 'It's a gift,' I said.
Simon R. Green
#29. What the hell are you doing here? You weren't on the guest list. Hell, you people aren't on anybody's guest list. If you turned up at a funeral, the corpse would walk out on you.
Simon R. Green
#30. My name is John Taylor. I'm a private eye, specialising in cases of the weird and uncanny. I don't solve murders, I don't do divorce work, and I wouldn't recognise a clue if you held it up before my face and said Look, this is a clue.
Simon R. Green
#31. Many of the self-styled prophets recognised me, and made the sign of the cross at me. Some made the sign of the extremely cross, and shook hand-made charms and fetishes at me.
Simon R. Green
#32. Just because we protect the world, it doesn't mean the world is always grateful.
Simon R. Green
#33. This is Nightside," said Deadboy. "We do ten impossible things before breakfast, just fora cheap thrill. Abandon all taboos, ye who enter here.
Simon R. Green
#34. Oh come on!" I said. "If Walker couldn't control me with his Voice, did you really think you stood any chance? I've been around. I've stepped on worse things than you! I've faced angels, from Above and Below! I don't bow down to anyone! I'm John Taylor!
Simon R. Green
#35. I am large. I contain multitudes," I said solemnly. "Especially on Tuesdays.
Simon R. Green
#36. Cursed with conscience and damned with duty, because that's how we always reward the best of us.
Simon R. Green
#37. I'll say this for the man: He never had any problems thinking big. Thinking rationally and responsibly, yes, major problems there ...
Simon R. Green
#38. Angel: And what will you do with the world, once it is yours?'
N. Hob: 'Punish it, for not loving me.
Simon R. Green
#39. I love to dance!" she said cheerfully.
"Sometimes I think the whole world should be put to music and choreographed!"
"This being the Nightside, someone somewhere is undoubtedly working on that very thing, right now.
Simon R. Green
#40. Because when you wear a mask long enough, it gets really hard to take it off. The mask becomes your face.
Simon R. Green
#41. I looked down at the Nightside, spread out before me like the most seductive whore in the world. Promising everything and anytthing, her wide smile and inviting eyes hiding the cold calculation in her heart.
Simon R. Green
#42. When you are tired of life, come to Haven. And someone will kill you.
Simon R. Green
#43. No-one's used a wand in the Nightside for centuries. Wands went out with black cats and pointy hats. (All right, the Faerie Court still use them, but the Fae have always been weird.)
Simon R. Green
#44. I chose to help people, because there'd been no-one there to help me when I needed it.
Simon R. Green
#45. Sorry, I said. But I've been recently diagnosed as fashion intolerant. I can't wear anything good, in case I develop style.
Simon R. Green
#46. What's one more crazy thing in the midst of all this weirdness?
Simon R. Green
#48. Are you sure this is a good idea?' whispered the unicorn.
'No,' said Rupert. 'But it's our best chance to find a dragon.'
'Frankly, that doesn't strike me as such a hot idea either,' muttered the unicorn.
Simon R. Green
#49. Who ... what are they?"
"My pride and glory," Alex said fondly. "Betty and Lucy Coltrane. Best damned bouncers in the business. Though of course I'd never tell them that. Fiercer than pit bulls and cheaper to run. Married to each other. They had a dog once, but they ate it.
Simon R. Green
#50. As if we'd fall for an obvious trap like that," said Happy. "We're not going to fall for an obvious trap like that, are we? Oh shit, we are. I want to go home.
Simon R. Green
#51. It's hard to maintain a reputation for being grim and mysterious when you're accompanied by a brightly clad young thing, skipping merrily along at your side, holding your hand, and smiling sweetly on one and all.
Simon R. Green
#52. He's been going on about the End of All Things for as long as I've known him," she said carelessly. "And we're all still here. Hey, want to see a really upsetting party trick I can do with two flick-knives and an unwilling volunteer?
Simon R. Green
#54. Who's got my Jaffa Cakes? You know I can't function without Jaffa Cakes.
Simon R. Green
#55. It was years since I'd last been here, a lifetime. It was yesterday.
Simon R. Green
#56. You know, sometimes I swear the whole universe runs on irony.
Simon R. Green
#57. It's always thoughts of family that drive me crazy, and it's always my friends who bring me back.
Agents of Light and Darkness p.218
Simon R. Green
#58. While the cat's away, you may find the rats getting damned uppity.
Simon R. Green
#59. Nothing is hidden, nothing is ever lost, nothing is ever forgotten. That's always been part of my problem.
Simon R. Green
#60. Be good, my dears, and if you can't be good don't do it in front of witnesses!
Simon R. Green
#61. And we all have the right to go to Hell in our own way.
Simon R. Green
#63. You can always rely on a woman to fight dirty, I said, and all the other men nodded solemnly in unison - until
Simon R. Green
#64. But watch where you step, I don't want any clues trampled on.' 'I will trample on your soft and delicate bits if you patronize me again,' said Penny. I looked at MacKay. 'It's true. She would.
Simon R. Green
#65. Love conquers all," murmured Kim. "I heard it in a song, so it must be true.
Simon R. Green
#66. Let us take it for granted that I am careless and ungrateful and never appreciate anything you do for me and move on, shall we.
Simon R. Green
#67. I take it you know my companion?"
Oh,yes!" said Savage, his smile disappearing. "We know all about Ruby Journey. Please don't let her kill anyone important. Or set fire to anything."
Your reputation precedes you," Random said dryly to Ruby.
Simon R. Green
#68. No more shooting from anyone. Or I am going to get seriously cranky with everyone. Suddenly, and violently and all over the place.
Simon R. Green
#69. When all else fails, you can always damn yourself with a necessary evil, for the greater good.
Simon R. Green
#70. After all, you're only an immortal until someone manages to kill you. After that, you were just long-lived.
Simon R. Green
#71. Most of my relatives could start a fight in an empty room and then lie about who won.
Simon R. Green
#72. You have to believe in your dreams because sometimes they believe in you.
Simon R. Green
#73. You want me to sneak up on an angel and rip out its pinfeathers, so you can make a fashion statement?
Simon R. Green
#74. You put butter in a pocket watch and it's bound to mess up the works even if it is the very best butter.
Simon R. Green
#75. Toby had spent three years living in the East End of London, back when he was a student, an area that would have profited greatly from a heavily armed UN Peacekeeping force. Lacking the funds necessary to reach the more civilized areas of London, toby endured three very long years ...
Simon R. Green
#76. Ghosts are the only ones who never have to feel scared. Because the worst thing in the world has already happened to them.
Simon R. Green
#78. The cream-tiled walls were spattered here and there with old dried bloodstains, deep gouges that might have been clawmarks, and all kinds of graffiti. As usual, someone had spelt Cthulhu wrongly.
Simon R. Green
#79. To show a mask and mirror to the world, and never let them see you're hurting.
Simon R. Green
#80. Lot of them were wearing T-shirts under their lab coats, bearing the legend I Blow Things Up, Therefore I Am, Even If Someone Else Suddenly Isn't.
Simon R. Green
#81. The Necropolis furnaces ran full-time, and a lot of restaurants boasted a Soylent Green special on their menus, for the more discerning palates.
Simon R. Green
#82. I could have been a contender, if I'd cared enough.
Simon R. Green
#83. You know how it is, boss; you're out on the town with a few friends, drinking it up; you're young, you've got incendiaries ... shit happens.
Simon R. Green
#84. Faith should mean something. Gods . . . should stand for something, not chop and change with every breeze that blows. Gods should be worshipped for the truths they represent, not what party favours they might dispense.-Razor Eddie the Punk God of the Straight Razor
Simon R. Green
#85. Never go anywhere without condiments. Condiments are our friends.
Simon R. Green
#86. I saw myself as a knight-errant ... but the damsel in distress stabbed me in the back, my sword shattered on the dragon's hide, and my grail turned out to be the bottom of a whiskey bottle.
Simon R. Green
#87. The light may cast many reflections but is it still the light that matters.
Simon R. Green
#88. To fight with demons, your intent must be pure. And even then, there's no guarantee you'll win.
Simon R. Green
#89. Would you really have ... ?" said Julien.
"Almost certainly," I said. "I have deep-seated problems with authority figures."
"But you are one!"
"I know! I can only assume the universe has a really mean sense of humour.
Simon R. Green
#90. There'll always be small, bitter people ready to follow some charismatic leader who promises them peace and happiness through justified violence and the killing of scapegoats.
Simon R. Green
#91. What am I going to do with all these bodies?" Said Jimmy, just a bit plaintively."I can't keep them, I don't have the cupboard space.
Simon R. Green
#92. I am in charge, therefore I am officially the only one allowed to panic.
Simon R. Green
#93. Alexandra was tall and blond, with a balcony you could do Shakespeare from.
Simon R. Green
#94. Big corporations aren't always the bad guys; but it's the sensible way to bet.
Simon R. Green
#95. There are any number of magical creatures, mostly female, whose singing can bring about horror and death. Sirens, undines, banshees, Bananarama tribute bands ...
Simon R. Green
#96. Sit down and shut up," said Melody. "You volunteered for this." Happy looked at her. "I did? When?" "When I told you to," said Melody. "Oh, well, that's all right then," said Happy. He sat down.
Simon R. Green
#97. Not that far away, Ms. Fate, the Nightside's very own leather-costumed transvestite superheroine, was dancing on a tabletop with demon girl reporter Bettie Divine.
Simon R. Green
#98. And ... by the pricking of my thumbs, something morally ambiguous this way comes.
Simon R. Green
#99. sometimes dreams are all that can keep you going. Give them up, and you're dead.
Simon R. Green
#100. Sometimes you can't save everyone. Sometimes all you can do ... is kill a whole bunch of people.
Simon R. Green
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