Top 100 Hope Humor Quotes
#1. Looking for a supernova, therefore, was a little like standing on the observation platform of the Empire State Building with a telescope and searching windows around Manhattan in the hope of finding, let us say, someone lighting a twenty-first birthday cake.
Bill Bryson
#2. Two steps forward ... one step back ... I've always hated that old cliche too ... I believe that we should all be able to dance through life and only change the tempo now and then.
Isabelle Rowan
#3. If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears it, I hope it lands on a philosophy professor.
Stephen Colbert
#4. Thank you sir," she said. "I hope that your friend feels better soon."
I shrugged. "The ways of the Lord" I said, "are often dark, but never pleasant.
Robert B. Parker
#5. I hope you're not smoking in front of her,' Lucia says to him.
'Yeah, I lie in bed and puff in her face, Lucia,' he says, irritated.
Melina Marchetta
#6. I hope the artist who illustrates this work will take care to do justice to his portrait. Mr. Clive himself, let that painter be assured, will not be too well pleased if his countenance and figure do not receive proper attention.
William Makepeace Thackeray
#7. Well, I hope before Glenn goes, he'll come up here so we can give him a big hug and a kiss, because that's the kind of guy he is.
Jerry Coleman
#8. Writers are the most tormented of all the different categories of artists that are out there in the world.
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#9. Huh! Mankind always comes up with ideas to make up for the follies of the status quo. But what happens if those ideas are inflexible and fail to respond to the changing times. They end up betraying the people who believed in them.
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#10. The greatest happiness is a quiet kind. It's the tender understanding that we're living in a very strange place full of strange creatures. And there's quite a bit of wonder in that.
F.K. Preston
#11. You hear, Eugene?' said Lightwood over his shoulder. 'You are deeply interested in lime.'
'Without lime,' returned that unmoved barrister at law, 'my existence would be unilluminated by a ray of hope.
Charles Dickens
#12. Hold onto your creativity, that idealism that is rooted in some degree of innocence and a firm belief in something finer than the things we already have.
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#13. The girl leaned forward and kissed Thomas on the cheek. You're sweet. I really hope we don't end up killing you, at least.
James Dashner
#14. We will remember what it was like to lose you, our pain the black background of our electric blue joy. We will remember that there are few answers to our questions; the questions that seem to float into an endless expanse of sky.
Kelly Wilson
#15. Remember these, Sons! Truth presented with tenderness enriches the soul of man and enhances humanity in the process. A Franco-Cameroonian relation based on truth and nurtured with tenderness will be to the benefit not only of Kamerun and France, but also of mankind as a whole.
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#16. Hey there. Here's something familiar, a bat. Hope you like it.
Koushun Takami
#17. I hope that in the final settlement of the war, you insist that the Germans retain Lorraine, because I can imagine no greater burden than to be the owner of this nasty country where it rains every day.
George S. Patton Jr.
#18. A sense of humor is the best indicator that you will recover; it is often the best indicator that people will love you. Sustain that and you have hope.
Andrew Solomon
#19. Charlene says:I hope I can be a star. I want to be able to set goals so I know where I'm going. It feels like I've been sort of floating around without being sure where I'd end up because I haven't figured out what I'd really like to do.
Deanie Humphrys-Dunne
#20. All that is required of you is an open mind and a little patience.
F.K. Preston
#21. Poison?" she (Granuaile)said,"I hope it isn't iocane powder.
Kevin Hearne
#22. Most people live lives that are full of mysteries, lives whose ultimate purpose we may never really understand. But for the sake of serenity, we must believe in life's nobleness.
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#23. I hope you have a miscarriage on a Walmart floor and have the baby's room already decorated.
Jim Norton
#24. I know who I am. Bloody hell, I'm getting enough bills for Karl Pilkington so I hope I am him, 'cos if I'm not, I have no idea who I'm paying for.
Karl Pilkington
#25. True heroes and ideas never fall in the final sense of the word. They can only encounter temporary setbacks in their difficult journey to progress and success,
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#26. A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?
Bob Hope
#27. I see the beginning, I see the end. And in the middle I just hope I don't fall on my ass to much
Shehanne Moore
#28. ...True classical dropouts in society are those who avoid difficult challenges and cling to the first opportunity that comes their way. They never test their talents. These latent talents will only help to produce the next cycle of dropouts...
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#29. In the world of today, human desires far supersede human needs. Waste, as you can see, is the result of all of those contradictions. That is how we ended up complicating our world.
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#30. You're a terrible cook, Daniel."
"I know," he replied, "But it's the effort that counts."
"I hope that's not the slogan for your dental practice.
Lisa Lutz
#31. Jewish introspection and Jewish humor is a way of surviving ... if you're not handsome and you're not athletic and you're not rich, there's still one last hope with girls, which is being funny.
Mike Nichols
#32. But when you're concerned that the miserable, boring wasteland in front of you might stretch all the way into forever, not knowing feels strangely hope-like.
Allie Brosh
#33. I hope to-morrow will be a fine day, Lane.
It never is, sir.
Lane, you're a perfect pessimist.
I do my best to give satisfaction, sir.
Oscar Wilde
#35. The selfish and self-centered have a hard time being kind, even though you and I know that kindness is a source of relief to the soul.
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#36. A large proportion of mankind, like pigeons and partridges, on reaching maturity, having passed through a period of playfulness or promiscuity, establish what they hope and expect will be a permanent and fertile mating relationship. This we call marriage.
C.D. Darlington
#37. It takes something to get married: nerve, hope, a strong desire to make a certain statement - and it takes something to stay married: more hope, determination, a sense of humor, and needs that are best met by being in a pair.
Amy Bloom
#38. I hope you accidentally drink leukemia at a picnic.
Jim Norton
#39. You better hope she doesn't say a word," Gabe warned, lifting a finger to Uri's nose.
Uri grabbed the finger laughing, "What are you going to do, cupcake? Seduce me to death, in all your sexy glory?"
"Just shut up," Gabe groaned, pushing the door shut in his friend's face.
Wendy Owens
#40. How can i hope to succeed when surrounded by flaccid imaginations and puny minds when my head.. My head is filled with NIETZCHE?
David Mazzucchelli
#41. I hope you're still angry with me," he said. "I deserve it."
She smiled. "Sorry to disappoint you."
"Damn," he said.
Veronica Rossi
#43. I write humor the way a surgeon operates, because it is a livelihood, because I have a great urge to do it, because many interesting challenges are set up, and because I have the hope it may do some good.
James Thurber
#44. Fine - I said huffily. - But I hope I'm at least allowed to fly around the corridors during lunch hour.
Gabriel threw me a disapproving look. I waited for him to get my joke, but his eyes remained serious. I sighed. Much as I loved him, Gabriel could be totally lacking in any sense of humor.
Alexandra Adornetto
#45. ...only the dreamers of a dream are capable of translating their dreams into worthy practical endeavors that are devoid of haunting errors. After all, they are the ones who carefully observed the link between their dreams and reality; they are the ones who worked consciously to blend them into one.
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#46. Hobos' (a slang term that combines the words 'hope' and 'bowl of beans given to me for free by a woman who then initiated intercourse')
Patton Oswalt
#47. I hope you feel better today. Please ring me at work if you are dead.
Jaclyn Moriarty
#48. Mrs. Chandler shouted after us, And I hope that was all-natural food coloring you put on my dog!
Lisa Lutz
#49. My creativity keeps me from starving. Humanity keeps my life mundane. Loving secures my love for life, but my imagination keeps me sane.
F.K. Preston
#50. Llium snorted. "I look like a damned duck." His words weren't far off the mark. The feathers that had grown over the injured section were soft, white, and delicately ... fluffy. "I hope to hell these baby feathers fall off and get replaced by real ones. They will, won't they?" He sounded worried.
Nalini Singh
#52. I hope you will be yourself, human, even a little sentimental, possessed of a sense of humor and a sense of humility ... There are arrogant people in this world and, what is worse, arrogant judges.
Harry A. Blackmun
#53. There are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? It seems only right. 'Tom, I'd like you to meet the girl of my dreams, Tragedy.' These days, Trajedi.
George Carlin
#54. Kindness is a source of relief to the soul of the giver, creating a sense of fortitude that is incomprehensible to those who do not know what kindness is all about.
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#55. It was long after midnight and the stars looked damp and chilly; the air was full of the busy silence of the night, which is created by hundreds of small furry things treading very carefully in the hope of finding dinner while avoiding being the main course.
Terry Pratchett
#56. I looked down at the brochure nearest me."We're going to Nigeria," I threatened. "I hope you like elephant polo."
-Liberty Jones
Lisa Kleypas
#57. Humor is a petal on the flower of hope, and hope blossoms on the vine of faith. They have faith in each other and faith that life has meaning, and from this faith comes their indefatigable good humor, which is their greatest gift to each other - and to me.
Dean Koontz
#58. You just turned down the woman who put a marshmallow duck in your hot chocolate. I hope you feel like a real asshole now.
Rachel Vincent
#59. Your quick 'no' is because I refused to say 'yes' to sex. They say men think with their dicks. I hope you do not run Easton with your -
Avery Aster
#60. Haylee shook her head as soon as they were gone. Christ, how can our family be mankind's best hope?
Natasha Larry
#61. How can I give you nothing? Do you seriously expect me to buy nothing, wrap up nothing, stick a gift tag on nothing, send a card saying I really hope you like your nothing and lie awake worrying that the nothing I got you was the right color nothing you always anted? Have a heart!
Hilary McKay
#62. Somebody's going to be reading, right? Wrong. They're FBing. Doing a Number Two. Maybe I shouldn't have had those chilli peppers. Hope y'all having a good day! - Coming from a toilet not far from you. xxxx
Hope Barrett
#63. Hermes has threatened me with slow mail. lousy Internet service and a horrible stock market if i publish this story. I hope he is just bluffing.
Rick Riordan
#64. You know, 'help me, Sophie Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope
Rachel Hawkins
#65. Somewhere, excitement waited for me like an uncut cake.
Lauren Wolk
#66. First thing is that I love you. And the second thing is that as much as I honor your former profession, I don't think your geese care much for your betrothed and I hope they hadn't any plans on sharing our bed.
Shannon Hale
#67. Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.
Ogden Nash
#68. I like Dancing of Indian girls more than my parents' prayers . Because they dance with love and passion . But my parents just say their prayers because they got used to it .
Ali Shariati
#69. With true love, you can move mountains, make unusual sacrifices, live a life of deprivations and still be happy.
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#70. What is that in his hand?"
"A cleaver. As in-"
"Butcher's knife."
"You got it."
"I hope not."
"He does not look happy."
"Are you sure it's a he?"
"I don't want to know.
Ridley Pearson
#71. Faith is Hope on a treadmill. Love is the reason we stay on.
Solange Nicole
#72. Feelings, rationale and values are the top qualities that make a person exceedingly human.
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#73. Reyna looked at Percy without much hope. "You do have a plan?"
Percy wanted to step forward bravely and say, No, I don't!
Rick Riordan
#74. There is nothing to me but you. I know it's pathetic but, oh darling, it's true.
F.K. Preston
#75. (Can human beings change? The humor, and the sadness, of remarriage comedies can be said to result from the fact that we have no good answer to that question.)
Stanley Cavell
#76. Needless to say, they refused to submit to the Empire, conducting such a persistent guerrilla war that the Romans gave up hope of conquering Scotland, and the Wee Free Men remained both wee and free.
Terry Pratchett
#77. I want to do another reality show. It's based on The Mole. It's about sexually transmitted diseases. It's called "God, I Hope That's a Mole."
Zach Galifianakis
#78. I hope you die ...
P.S. If you do die, I'm going to go to the funeral and finger your corpse.
Michael Ian Black
#79. Sad, slow music in the small hours of the morning isn't just sad and slow music. It's a narration. And through the myriad of morning dew, we are the twinkling stars that fade with the rising sun.
Dave Matthes
#80. You're dealing with a character who is, at some points, quite insane. And I hope that any wicked, dark sense of humor Eric exhibits comes out of the fact that he'd been pushed to the point where it seems quite sensible to say some of the ridiculous things he says.
Brandon Lee
#81. I am happy for the first in my life, I can report that I am standing on an incline instead of an edge.
Erica Goros
#82. I was thinking, while I was running ... " He paused.
"About not hitting the trees, I hope.
Stephenie Meyer
#83. ...A canonical leader is someone whose exemplary rule might have appeared to be for the alleviation of the pains and miseries of a particular group, but which in reality is for the advancement of humanism...
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#84. We need the wisdom to accept the fact that this world abounds with issues we cannot solve; and we need to part ways with those people, ideas and things that are a vexation to the soul.
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#85. I need to stop saying LMAO because that is precisely what's happening; I wish I could rewind time by two decades, immortalize my derriere in wax, and then kiss it goodbye.
Donna Lynn Hope
#86. You probably found 'How to Survive a Robot Uprising' in the humor section. Let's just hope that is where it belongs.
Daniel H. Wilson
#87. I made so many B pictures I began to get fan mail from hornets...and for me that was an improvement.
Bob Hope
#88. A nationalist will blindly follow his country to his death out of love for it. A patriot will stand up for and even against his country to his death out of love for it.
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#89. I am no fan of books. And chances are, if you're reading this, you and I share a healthy skepticism about the printed word. Well, I want you to know that this is the first book I've ever written, and I hope it's the first book you've ever read. Don't make a habit of it.
Stephen Colbert
#90. I think preconceived ideas or prejudgments are meant to give us an edge whenever we are dealing with others we don't know or haven't made the effort to understand.
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#91. Years from now, when I'm successful and happy, ... and he's in prison ... I hope I'm not too mature to gloat.
Bill Watterson
#92. Hope turned sly. "What if the slice of apple pie is served a la mode?"
Smiling, Peggy Sue regarded her tall, brunette, and blue-eyed friend. "Is the slice of apple pie served a la mode with three scoops of homemade vanilla ice cream piled on top of it?
Lyn Key
#93. That's the scary thing about hope," she said. "If you let it go too long it turns into faith.
Christopher Moore
#94. So humor me for a minute, and look out your window. What did you see?
Hope Jahren
#95. In closing, I hope everything helps show that I wouldn't be a fade-out or a person who turns to think to drink or dope when things get tough. I believe that anything is possible if you have the combination of love for what you're doing and the will to sit down and not get up until it's done ... .
Kaye Gibbons
#96. You know it's going to be one of those days when the cat uses the carpet as a bum wipe ...
Hope Barrett
#97. Here's to another year and let's hope it's above ground.
Carol Shields
#98. People need hope Michael, as much as they need a leader. You and Gabe are the answer to both of those things. You'll lead the people of earth to victory and Gabe will give them the hope they need to keep going, Mirada said, her voice sensitive, yet unwavering.
Wendy Owens
#99. The basis of love that most people share is the intimacy they developed with their partners, the intensity of their attraction, or the similarity of their thought patterns,
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#100. There's a guy in the audience with a distinctive laugh. I hope that guy is miked. The only problem with having a distinctive laugh is I know exactly when that guy isn't laughing. "Oh, distinctive laugh doesn't think that joke was funny!"
Mitch Hedberg
