Top 70 Allie Brosh Quotes

#1. I've always wanted not to give a fuck. While crying helplessly into my pillow for no good reason, I would often fantasize that maybe someday I could be one of those stoic badasses whose emotions are mostly comprised of rock music and not being afraid of things.

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #46898
#2. Reality should follow through on what I think it is going to do.

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #109439
#3. I cope with it the best way I know - by being completely unreasonable and trying to force everything else in the world to obey me and do all the nonsensical things I want.

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #117311
#4. You aren't allowed to decide because you are really bad at making decisions.

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #149365
#5. It's so somewhat effective that I now rely on it almost exclusively when I need to get myself to do something

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #163023
#6. YOU R sO bRUEtifUL...
how R U so BRUTEfUL and good?

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #201476
#7. The window was covered by a screen, but my dad had shown me how to remove a screen as a preemptive safety measure in case I was trapped in a fire and he couldn't get to me and I turned out to be too stupid to figure out how to kick in a screen to escape death by burning.

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #220655
#8. Not giving a fuck and not being able to give a fuck.

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #232303
#9. -to me, the future doesn't seem real. It's just this magical place where I can put my responsibilities so that I don't have to be scared while hurtling toward failure at right hundred miles per hour.

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #250106
#10. For a little while, I actually feel grown-up and responsible. I strut around with my head held high, looking the other responsible people in the eye with that knowing glance that says, I understand. I'm responsible now too. Just look at my groceries.

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #281058
#11. But my experiences slowly flattened and blended together until it became obvious that there's a huge difference between not giving a fuck and not being able to give a fuck. Cognitively, you might know that different things are happening to you, but they don't feel different.

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #317314
#12. Because, deep down, I know how pointless and helpless I am, and it scares me. I am an animal trapped in a horrifying, lawless environment, and I have no idea what it's going to do to me. It just DOES it to me.

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #404176
#13. I was a god - the god of cake - and I was unstoppable.

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #455921
#14. It wants to focus on being a good person, not just a barely not horrible one.

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #491109
#15. My mom quickly tired of having to hold the cake out of my reach. She tried to hide the cake, but I found it almost immediately. She tried putting the cake on top of the refrigerator, but my freakish climbing abilities soon proved it to be an unsatisfactory solution.

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #501580
#16. Fortunately, it turns out that being scared of yourself is a somewhat effective motivational technique.

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #527472
#17. When I encounter someone I haven't seen in a while, I have never once thought, I should jump at them and poke their face with my fingers and keep doing that until someone locks me in the bathroom. Because that's insane. What would you think if I did that to your dog friends?

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #527568
#18. I had tasted cake and there was no going back. My tiny body had morphed into a writhing mass of pure tenacity encased in a layer of desperation. I would eat all of the cake or I would evaporate from the sheer power of my desire to eat it.

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #562069
#19. It's disappointing to feel sad for no reason. Sadness can be almost pleasantly indulgent when you have a way to justify it.

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #578710
#20. It's a strange moment when you realize that you don't want to be alive anymore.

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #585309
#21. But when you're concerned that the miserable, boring wasteland in front of you might stretch all the way into forever, not knowing feels strangely hope-like.

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #612240
#22. The absurdity of working so hard to continue doing something you don't like can be overwhelming.

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #631399
#23. There I was, casually wishing that I could stop existing in the same way you'd want to leave an empty room or mute an unbearably repetitive noise.

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #707223
#24. I'd try to explain that it's not really negativity or sadness anymore, it's more just this detached, meaningless fog where you can't feel anything about anything - even the things you love, even fun things - and you're horribly bored and lonely.

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #717784
#25. But trying to use willpower to overcome the apathetic sort of sadness that accompanies depression is like a person with no arms trying to punch themselves until their hands grow back. A fundamental component of the plan is missing and it isn't going to work.

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #739781
#26. IT'S HARD not pushing people and not throwing sand at them.

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #746280
#27. She knew that if I was allowed even a tiny amount of sugar, not only would I become intensely hyperactive, but the entire scope of my existence would funnel down to the singular goal of obtaining and ingesting more sugar. My need for sugar would become so massive

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #747848
#28. The beginning of my depression had been nothing but feelings, so the emotional deadening that followed was a welcome relief. I had always viewed feelings as a weakness-annoying obstacles on my quest for total power over myself. And I finally didn't have to feel them anymore.

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #762680
#29. I prepare for my new life as an adult like some people prepare for the apocalypse. The first day or two of my plans usually goes okay.

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #774638
#30. She is our dog. And because she is our dog, we can pick out the tiny, almost imperceptible good qualities from the ocean of terrible qualities, and we can cling to them. Because we want to love our dog.

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #777309
#31. I couldn't even muster the enthusiasm to hate myself anymore.

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #790404
#32. How am I supposed to like myself if all these shitty things keep happening because I do them???

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #790866
#33. When you start figuring out how full of shit you are, it's like opening a tunnel to all the lies you've ever told yourself. The tunnel is really deep and scary, but you're suspicious about it and you want to see what's down there.

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #867414
#34. Packing all of your belongings into a U-Haul and then transporting them across several states is nearly as stressful and futile as trying to run away from lava in swim fins.

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #889900
#35. I had always viewed feelings as a weakness - annoying obstacles on my quest for total power over myself.

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #931494
#36. I stock up on fancy food because I'm also planning on morphing into a master chef and actually cooking instead of just eating nachos for dinner every night.

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #1008216
#37. But as I grew older, it became harder and harder to access that expansive imaginary space that made my toys fun. I remember looking at them and feeling sort of frustrated and confused that things weren't the same.

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #1035022
#38. You lazy, floor banana motherf*****

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #1039356
#39. Slowly, my feelings started to shrivel up. The few that managed to survive the constant beatings staggered around like wounded baby deer, just biding their time until they could die and join all the other carcasses strewn across the wasteland of my soul.

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #1047844
#40. But, against all odds, my gigantic ego continues to attempt greatness.

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #1056798
#41. Trimming your dogs nails is a traumatic event that requires three people, a beach towel, and a can of spray cheese.

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #1066743
#42. By now, I'm sure you can see that most of the things you want are stupid and most of the decisions you make are bad.

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #1071347
#43. To reiterate, no matter how much pepper you eat, it won't undo the ludicrous amount of salt you ate before it.

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #1080684
#44. And finally - FINALLY - after a lifetime of feelings and anxiety and more feelings, I didn't have any feelings left. I had spent my last feeling being disappointed that I couldn't rent Jumanji.

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #1111531
#45. I suspect that, left to my own devices, I would completely lose control of my life.

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #1238854
#46. motivation is this horrible, scary game where I try to make myself do something while I actively avoid doing it. If I win, I have to do something I don't want to do. If I lose, I'm one step closer to ruining my entire life.

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #1254626
#47. When the soul-penetrating pathos she was beaming at me failed to prevent me from continuing to put things in boxes, the helper dog became increasingly alarmed. Over the ensuing few days, she slowly descended into psychological chaos. The simple dog remained unfazed.

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #1317349
#48. LOOK AT MEEE LOOK I own all the bananas now. Give me a dollar. Fuck you. Help me.

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #1340610
#49. However, I could no longer rely on genuine emotion to generate facial expressions, and when you have to spend every social interaction consciously manipulating your face into shapes that are only approximately the right ones, alienating people is inevitable.

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #1387022
#50. I had spent my last feeling being disappointed that I couldn't rent Jumanji. (...) And thus began a tiny rebelion.

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #1412272
#51. Procrastination has become a it's own solution - a tool I can use to push myself so close to disaster that I become terrified and flee towards success.

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #1424309
#52. Be an unsinkable ship.' Basically, making yourself seaworthy is easier than trying to control the sea.

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #1479691
#53. And that's how I got to go to a birthday party while very heavily sedated.

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #1502073
#54. Dear 25 year old [note: not "Dear 25-year-old me" or "Dear 25-year-old self," just "Dear 25 year old"],

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #1556427
#55. I am incensed that reality has the audacity to do some of the things it does when I CLEARLY don't want those things to happen.

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #1566956
#56. On a fundamental level, I am someone who would throw sand at children.

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #1600157
#57. It's weird for people who still have feelings to be around depressed people. They try to help you have feelings again so things can go back to normal, and it's frustrating for them when that doesn't happen.

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #1606634
#58. Being a good person is a very important part of my identity, but being a genuinely good person is time-consuming and complicated.

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #1609731
#59. And that's the most frustrating thing about depression. It isn't always something you can fight back against with hope. It isn't even something - it's nothing. And you can't combat nothing.

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #1626124
#60. Procrastination has become its own solution - a tool I can use to push myself so close to disaster that I become terrified and flee toward success. A more troubling matter is the day-to-day activities that don't have massive consequences when I neglect to do them.

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #1634656
#61. I don't just want to do the right thing. I want to WANT to do the right thing.

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #1683312
#62. Dear other iterations of my past self, Thank you for not being so goddamn weird that I felt I had to address you personally in a letter from the future. I commend you.

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #1709605
#63. No one could tell me not to eat an entire cake - not my mom, not Santa, not God - no one. It was my cake and everyone else could go fuck themselves.

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #1709919
#64. You don't have to be a good person to feel like a good person, though. There's a loophole I found where I don't do good, helpful things, but I keep myself in a perpetual state of thinking I might.

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #1738101
#65. Because I can see the future and I know what will happen if I let you play with the lawn mower.

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #1748850
#66. What I am is constantly thrust into my face while I'm trying to be better than I am. Even if I'm actively doing all the right things, I can't escape the fact that my internal reactions are those of a fundamentally horrible person.

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #1784189
#67. Cake is the only thing that matters.

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #1793299
#68. I've gotten pretty good at making myself feel ashamed. I can even use shame in a theoretical sense to make myself do the right thing BEFORE I do the wrong thing.

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #1809691
#69. I followed myself around like a bully, narrating my thoughts and actions with a constant stream of abuse.

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #1822067
#70. For me, motivation is this horrible, scary game where I try to make myself do something while I actively avoid doing it.

Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh Quotes #1865734

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