Ogden Nash Famous Quotes & Sayings

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Top 100 Ogden Nash Quotes

#1. THE GRACKLE
The - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #1185521
#2. The Bronx? No Thonx! - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #1360017
#3. Progress might have been all right once, but it's gone on too long. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #1359546
#4. He who has never tasted jail Lives well within the legal pale, While he who's served a heavy sentence Renews the racket, not repentance. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #1347735
#5. The only incurable troubles of the rich are the troubles that money can't cure, Which is a kind of trouble that is even more troublesome if you are poor. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #1331982
#6. Linguistics becomes an ever eerier area, like I feel like I'm in Oz, Just trying to tell it like it was. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #1328906
#7. I would not engage the wombat
In any form of mortal combat. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #1310241
#8. A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #1304548
#9. People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #1302755
#10. In the world of mules
There are no rules. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #1280228
#11. One thing about the past. It's likely to last. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #1264053
#12. Certainly there are lots of things in life that money won't buy, but it's very funny- Have you ever tried to buy them without money? - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #1263729
#13. I myself am more and more inclined to agree with Omar and Satchel Paige as I grow older: Don't try to rewrite what the moving finger has writ, and don't ever look over your shoulder. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #1230066
#14. Bankers are just like anybody else, only richer - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #1363456
#15. I drink because she nags, she said I nag because he drinks. But if the truth be known to you, He's a lush and she's a shrew. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #1180921
#16. A jolly young fellow from Yuma
Told an elephant joke to a puma;
now his skeleton lies
beneath hot western skies-
the puma had no sense of huma - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #1179719
#17. There are two kinds of people who blow through life like a breeze, And one kind is gossipers, and the other kind is gossipees. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #1166107
#18. Neath tile or thatch That man is rich Who has a scratch For every itch. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #1160902
#19. I don't care how unkind the things people say about me so long as they don't say them to my face. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #1118427
#20. The noblest lord is ushered in By the practicing physician, And the humblest lout is ushered out By a certified mortician. And in between, they find their foyers Alive with summonses from lawyers. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #1111545
#21. There once was an umpire whose vision Was cause for abuse and derision He remarked in surprise, 'Why pick on my eyes? It's my heart that dictates my decision.' - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #1108810
#22. There is one fault that I must find
With the twentieth century.
And I'll put it in a couple of words;
Too adventury.
What I'd like would be some nice dull monotony
If anyone's gotony. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #1084149
#23. Commitments the voters don't know about can't hurt you. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #1068473
#24. All that glitters is sold as gold. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #1063408
#25. Every Englishman is convinced of one thing, viz.: That to be an Englishman is to belong to the most exclusive club there is. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #1043595
#26. It is the sin of omission, the second kind of sin,
That lays eggs under your skin. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #1670778
#27. The Pig, if I am not mistaken,
Supplies us sausage, ham, and Bacon.
Let others say his heart is big,
I think it stupid of the Pig. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #1874287
#28. Humor is hope's companion in arms. It is not brash, it is not cheap, it is not heartless. Among other things I think humor is a shield, a weapon, a survival kit. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #1854554
#29. A lady wants to be dressed exactly like everybody else but she gets pretty up- set if she sees anybody else dressed exactly like her. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #1850630
#30. A cough is something that you yourself cant help, but everybody else does on purpose just to torment you. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #1849739
#31. If some confectioners were willing
To let the shape announce the filling,
We'd encounter fewer assorted chocs,
Bitten into and returned to the box. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #1837378
#32. No matter how deep and dark your pit, how dank your shroud, their heads are heroically unbloody and unbowed. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #1831245
#33. One bliss for which There is no match Is when you itch To up and scratch. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #1789017
#34. I claim there ain't Another Saint As great as Valentine. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #1764453
#35. If you don't want to work you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #1753274
#36. The moral is that it is probably better not to sin at all, but if
some kind of sin you must be pursuing,
Well, remember to do it by doing rather than by not doing. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #1685053
#37. Why did the Lord give use so much quickness unless it was to avoid responsibility? - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #1679542
#38. You can have my jellyfish
I am not sellyfish - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #1672094
#39. The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #1030507
#40. It's my own dream, I dreamt it, I dreamt that my hair was kempt, then I dremat my true love unkempt it. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #1652104
#41. And you stagger down to break your fast. Greasy bacon and lacquered eggs And coffee composed of frigid dregs. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #1585869
#42. Never befriend the oppressed unless you are prepared to take on the oppressor. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #1579310
#43. The turtle lives 'twixt plated decks Which practically conceal its sex I think it clever of the turtle In such a fix to be so fertile. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #1570791
#44. One thing that literature would be greatly the better for
Would be a more restricted employment by authors of simile and>metaphor. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #1530068
#45. When you're wrong admit it, when you're right, shut up. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #1499253
#46. A dog's best friend is his illiteracy. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #1482104
#47. Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind, But it is very difficult to treat because it cannot even be defined, Because everything is not gold that glisters and everything is not a tear that glistens, And one man's remorse is another man's reminiscence - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #1453384
#48. O, money, money, money, I'm not necessarily one of those who think thee holy,
But I often stop to wonder how thou canst go out so fast when thou comest in so slowly. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #1444974
#49. A dressing is not a compote A dressing is not a custard It consists of pepper and salt, Vinegar, oil and mustard. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #1387077
#50. People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they really don't want it. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #1382521
#51. To Tom Carlson or his dog-depending on whose taste it best suits. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #324591
#52. The song of canaries
Never varies,
And when they're moulting
They're pretty revolting. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #530424
#53. Bankers are just like everybody else, except richer. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #521879
#54. A bird in the open never looks Like its picture in the birdie books - Or if it once did, it has changed its plumage, And plunges you back into ignorant gloomage. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #481835
#55. I'd rather be a great bad poet than a good bad poet. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #470538
#56. He is not drunk, who from the floor, can rise and stand and shout for more - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #465078
#57. Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave when they think that their children are naive. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #451620
#58. The oboe's a horn made of wood.
I'd play you a tune if I could,
But the reeds are a pain,
And the fingering's insane.
It's the ill wind that no one blows good. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #426452
#59. Smallpox is natural; vaccine ain't. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #415762
#60. Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore,
And that's what parents were created for. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #414633
#61. I think remorse ought to stop biting the consciences that feed it. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #388060
#62. Do you think my mind is maturing late, or simply rotted early? - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #353763
#63. A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #343928
#64. The Preacher, the Politicain, the Teacher,
Were each of them once a kiddie.
A child, indeed, is a wonderful creature.
Do I want one? God Forbiddie! - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #569805
#65. When I ponder my mind I consistently find It is glued On food. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #294639
#66. Here's a good rule of thumb; too clever is dumb. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #259299
#67. Poets arent very usefulBecause they aren't consumeful or produceful.. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #198493
#68. Snow is all right while it is snowing; it is like inebriation because it is very pleasing when it is coming, but very unpleasing when it is going. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #171587
#69. He without benefit of scruples - His fun and money soon quadruples. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #165445
#70. Philo Vance / Needs a kick in the pance. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #160235
#71. I was born a jackdaw; why should I try to be an owl? - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #138601
#72. Good wine needs no bush, and perhaps products that people really want need no hard-sell or soft-sell TV push. Why not? Look at pot. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #135509
#73. A Caution to Everybody
consider the Auk.
Becoming extinct before because he forgot out to fly and could only walk.
Consider Man, who may well become extinct,
Because he forgot how to walk and learned to fly before he thinked. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #90456
#74. I could not eat a kangaroo. But many fine Australians do. Those with cookbooks as well as boomerangs Prefer him in tasty kangaroo-meringues. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #59110
#75. I have an idea that the phrase "weaker sex" was coined by some woman to disarm the man she was preparing to overwhelm. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #54229
#76. I think in terms of rhyme, and have since I was six years old, - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #799994
#77. The camel has a single hump, The dromedary, two; Or else the other way around; I'm never sure. Are you? - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #1013259
#78. When I remember bygone days I think how evening follows morn So many I loved were not yet dead, So many I love were not yet born. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #976380
#79. ADVENTURES OF ISABEL
Isabel - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #973747
#80. This is my dream, It is my own dream, I dreamt it. I dreamt that my hair was kempt. Then I dreamt that my true love unkempt it. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #952897
#81. So Columbus said, somebody show me the sunset and somebody did and he set sail for it, And he discovered America and they put him in jail for it, And the fetters gave him welts, And they named America after somebody else. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #934330
#82. I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #892090
#83. You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #874809
#84. I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #838226
#85. Wind is caused by the trees waving their branches. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #828315
#86. But children, hark! Your mother would rather, When you arrived, have been your father. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #828183
#87. Very Like a Whale - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #821758
#88. The only way I can distinguish proper from improper fractions is by their actions - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #808216
#89. The most exciting happiness is the happiness generated by forces beyond your control. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #37152
#90. Indoors or out, no one relaxes in March, that month of wind and taxes, the wind will presently disappear, the taxes last us all the year. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #767379
#91. I test my bath before I sit, And I'm always moved to wonderment That what chills the finger not a bit Is so frigid upon the fundament. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #765009
#92. Beneath this slab John Brown is stowed. He watched the ads, And not the road. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #760468
#93. Time is so old and love so brief, love is pure gold and time a thief. We're late, darling, we're late, The curtain descends, everything ends, too soon, too soon. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #734239
#94. I don't mind their having a lot of money, and I don't care how they employ it, but I do think that they damn well ought to admit they enjoy it. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #728178
#95. One rule which woe betides the banker who fails to heed it/Never lend any money to anybody unless they don't need it. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #679310
#96. Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #652380
#97. Celery, raw,
Develops the jaw - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #645646
#98. I'm like a backward berry, Unripened on the vine, For all my friends are fifty, And I'm only forty-nine. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #629354
#99. God in His wisdom made the fly And then forgot to tell us why. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #603284
#100. We love the kindly wind and hail, The jolly thunderbolt, We watch in glee the fairy trail Of ampere, watt, and volt. - Author: Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Quotes #586827

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