Top 59 Hilarious Humor Quotes: Famous Quotes & Sayings About Hilarious Humor

#1. Many a man was caused to perish by something that he and many men cherish.

#2. Not every single way of saying the right thing is right.

#3. Mutations are exciting. They try to fix 'em when they come out. Did you see the two-headed baby they killed last month when they tried to cut it apart? That was hilarious!

Doug Stanhope

#4. Call laughed bitterly. "So you didn't come near me because you didn't want to blow my cover, and all that time, I didn't even know I had a cover? That's freaking hilarious."
"I see nothing amusing about it." Master Joseph didn't change expression.

Cassandra Clare

#5. Si, the speed limit sign said 35. Your Goin' 55." -Sadie Robertson
"Oh, that's just a suggestion.

Si Robertson

#6. There once was a man from Des Moines
Whose wife was always annoyed
He stepped in the kitchen
She started her bitchin'
Now that fucking cunt is dead.

Frances Winkler

#7. So, what are you in for? MANSLAUGHTER!!! I SLAUGHTERED A MAN!! JUST LIKE A PIG!!! PUT HIM ON A SPIT AND PUT AN APPLE IN HIS MOUTH!!!!

Brian Regan

#8. Terrorism is just a whole other level of anger management issues.

Thisuri Wanniarachchi

#9. Daddy was hilarious. He could take the most mundane event and tell it so that we all on the floor laughing. He trained me in the joys of humor.

Karen DeCrow

#10. Connor and Cameron look wide-eyed at the carnage. Cameron slowed the speedboat down to a crawl. She and Connor looked at Jason.
"Oops," Jason said meekly. Nothing else seemed appropriate.
"Oops?" Connor shouted. "You blew up half the town.

Mark A. Cooper

#11. I think Damien Hirst is hilarious. And I think he's a true artist. He's not hilarious first; I think he is a real artist, and I also think he's got an amazing sense of humor.

Jemima Kirke

#12. It wasn't enough that I had to worry about playing well and winning the game, but I also had to deal with possibility that one of my teammates could be dragged off the field by the inhabitants of the mental hospital.

Wes Locher

#13. The most hilarious person ever is God

Alzenati Zenati

#14. Davey Boy's Dead was given a new lease on life when doctors transplanted the Dynamite Kidney into his body. That new lease on life came to a sudden and rather hilarious end when the Dynamite Kidney exploded and tore a hole in Davey Boy's side. - The Hills are Alive with the Sound of Zombies

Darrin Mason

#15. Hilarious, insightful, and smart. A must-read for anyone who wears clothes.

Chelsea Handler

#16. A million dollars? A bit much don't you think?"
"Fuck you."
Caleb smiled, the self indulgent little shit. "My apologies," he mocked with a slight forward bow, "What I meant to say is: no pussy's that good. Though yours does come close.

C.J. Roberts

#17. Unbeknown to us, some of the people who we hope are missing us wherever they are do miss us; some miss someone else; and some are dead.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

#18. When you exclude anything that is improbable, whatever is left, is not as hilarious.

Oleg Medvedkov

#19. I always tried not to be too mean, but my problem is that the people I tend to find hilarious don't usually have senses of humor. So interacting with them is a little bit of an awkward engagement, because I can't really make them laugh, on top of which I've been doing an impression of them.

Ana Gasteyer

#20. But I think frustration is hilarious. One of my missions is to bring humor into fine art. It's sacred.

Wayne White

#21. Chubi, rhymes with booby, which you don't have, or doodie, which your face looks like, she said smugly, leaning back and making her chair squeak.

Kim Harrison

#22. June cackled with delight, muttering, "Whoops!" as a car almost killed them.

Rick Riordan

#23. I've always been a monster,' Scapegrace told her, 'but now, finally, my physical for reflects my inner darkness.'
'You smell terrible.'
'That's the smell of evil.'
'It's like rancid meat and bad eggs.'
'Evil, Scapegrace insisted.

Derek Landy

#24. It me birthday and nobody came ... Bigfoot decide do something nice for self for big day and sneak in they house at night and pick out own present and blow out flickering candle of life in they brains. Make a wish, jerks.

Graham Roumieu

#25. The majority of boys think the highest form of creativity is weeing a pattern into snow.

Beth Garrod

#26. From the opening lines, Sleeping with Schubert is a hilarious, whimsical romp through the looking glass of a great musical mystery. The writing snaps, crackles, and pops with humor as Bonnie Marson makes Schubert a sexy, happening kind of guy who gives new meaning to our dreaming the impossible.

Jonis Agee

#27. Life sometimes confuses us by making us discover in someone we hate a quality or qualities we love.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

#28. She looks me dead in the face and says, "The safe word is going to be 'immigration,' because you know I'll stop it.

Kayti McGee

#29. I'm twenty-four, a first grade teacher, have a Yorkie named Pedro, a goldfish named Fish, have never had sex, or a serious boyfriend, and I'm the town lesbian who pukes when she sees a pussy. Nothing really to be jealous of at all.

H.J. Bellus

#30. Sei: The Kudzu snacks were so good I had two and a half bowls but seeing you eat 16 and a half bowls was disgusting. I sriously considered killing you.
Okita: You're horrible! Besides then I'd bleed Kudzu snacks!
Sei: NOO! STOP!!! I CAN SEE IT!! I'LL HAVE NIGHTMARES!!

Taeko Watanabe

#31. Oh, hey, kettle, I'm pot and wow, you're black." - Owen

Olivia Cunning

#32. Girls are always complaining that they can never meet a nice guy. Nice guys are everywhere. The problem isn't that there aren't any nice guys, the problem is that all of the nice guys are ugly.

Carroll Bryant

#33. Forget I ever referred to my mother and screwing in the same sentence. That's just ... wrong. On so many levels.

Emma Chase

#34. Clary made fun of him about his new look; but, then, Clary found everything about Simon's love life borderline hilarious.

Cassandra Clare

#35. I decided to masturbate with shampoo instead of conditioner today. Because yolo. Things Jesus never said.

Dave Matthes

#36. My favorite kind of humor is basically, if it was happening to you, it wouldn't be funny, but to observe it, it's hilarious.

Bill Burr

#37. Serena had to cross her legs: in moments of dire amusement her bladder tended to play tricks.

A.P.

#38. She's like a cross between an onion and donkey," Farah said.
"Why?" Jason and Connor asked simultaneously.
"Cause she's a piece of ass that will bring a tear to your eye." Farah laughed.

Mark A. Cooper

#39. Nobody ever goes to that store to shop because it's too crowded.

Sol Luckman

#40. How much of my fever-induced dream was real? I felt safe assuming that my time as a bee was fiction, as well as a few mythological animals that I swear I'd seen. Then I'd lived on the sun with aliens.

Cora Carmack

#41. That shower thing was hilarious," he said when I finished.
"It was irresponsible! Why can't anyone see that?"
"But that bitch had it coming.

Richelle Mead

#42. Oh- and grab the plastic bag over by my suitcase."
I slug down the last of the coffee and get up. The bag contains panty hose. I put them on her desk.
"They're for you."
"You want me to look homeless, desperate, but also kind of fabulous?

Holly Black

#43. I'm a huge fan of Steve Martin. He's hilarious, but he has this depth to him and this way of dealing with the difficult things in life with a sense of humor that I think has helped me as an actress.

Alexandra Daddario

#44. Maybe I don't have the same sense of humor. Maybe people aren't comfortable gauging a painting that way. They think that if it's a painting then it must be serious. I think Picasso can be hilarious, to name one example.

Joe Bradley

#45. Her name badge read: Hello! My name is DIE, DEMIGOD SCUM!

Rick Riordan

#46. - Why did blondes vote for Clinton?
- They didn't know how to read and thought she can make their life hilarious!

Bryanna Reid

#47. At the risk of appearing disingenuous, I don't really think of myself as 'writing humor.' I'm simply reporting on the world I observe, which is frequently hilarious.

Richard Russo

#48. Don't threaten me with a good time.

Michael Anthony

#49. Every Brit I met had the best sense of humor. They're hilarious: very dry and witty.

Merritt Patterson

#50. No. No way. That name is reserved for females with grace and elegance, not this girl. This girl is ... beastly.

Victoria Scott

#51. Rod Cockshutt, Professor Emeritus at N.C. State University called my book, Evidence of Insanity, "an extraordinary achievement" and told me to not change the last 10-15 pages no matter what.

Carol Piner

#52. Hmmm ... that's interesting."
"What?"
"There seems to be a gentleman walking towards us with a shotgun.

Derek Landy

#53. Everybody! This is my cousin right here, and he just dethroned God's gift to Women - Griffin

S.C. Stephens

#54. Skul-man!' he exclaimed as he rushed forward to shake his hand. 'Last I heard you were trapped on a dead world overrun by evil trans-dimensional superfiends!'
Skulduggery nodded. 'Just got back.

Derek Landy