Top 100 Funny Love You Quotes
#1. Come Hell or High Water usually depends on the kind of plug you use in the bath tub
Josh Stern
#2. I cried for everyone and for all the scrabbly, funny love one sent out into the world like some hit song that enters space and bounds off to another galaxy, a tune so pretty you think the words are true, you do!
Lorrie Moore
#3. Engineers are funny animals. If you tell an engineer about a problem, any problem, his first instinct is to measure it. Tell an engineer you don't love him anymore and he'll ask for a graph of your love over time so that he can understand exactly how big the problem is and when it started.
Phil Lapsley
#4. In an interview, Paris Hilton said that of her and her sister, "People love to hate us. But when you know us, you love us. And if you really get to know us, you get gonorrhea."
Tina Fey
#5. Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means.
Henny Youngman
#6. Using love as a bait and replacing respect with ego-pampering makes you a skillful social animal; unfortunately, all kinds of animals are less evolved than human beings. Would you like to evolve?
Saurabh Sharma
#7. Respect? Of course, always, to all, because everything seems funnier when you're trying to show respect.
Criss Jami
#8. It's because you aren't thinking very clearly tonight."
"I know. Being Drunk is weird."
"Oh my god. I love you so much. Especially when you say stuff like that."
"Like what?"
"Nothing. Never mind. Although I'm dying to know why your shoe is green.
Jessica Sorensen
#9. It's funny how most people love the dead, once you're dead, you're made for life.
Jimi Hendrix
#10. I don't think that you should tell me that you love me wildly, passionately, devotedly, hopelessly. Hopelessly doesn't seem to make much sense, does it?
Oscar Wilde
#11. You see, love is a funny thing. There are no guarantees, just the day-to-day and the moment. You make vows, hope for the best, and do your damnedest to love the person you're with.
Jennifer Probst
#12. You know I love you,' said the other mother flatly.
'You have a very funny way of showing it,' said Coraline.
Neil Gaiman
#13. Today, folks, should be all about love. Unless you're old.
Stephen Colbert
#14. Love can do funny things to you. It can make you happy; it can make you sad. It can even make you downright miserable.
Danielle Violette
#15. If you want more development in your relationship, move to an urban area.
Bauvard
#16. That's what love's all about, Roxanne. You
love someone, you trust them always to tel
you the truth.
Kristen Ashley
#17. One way to tell if you're really comfortable with a person is if you can be quiet together sometimes and not feel awkward. If you don't feel obligated to say something brilliant or funny or surprising or cool. You can just be together. You can just be.
Phyllis Reynolds Naylor
#18. Before my mom decided she was a lesbian, I thought lesbians were all these really nice, earthy, crunchy, let's smother you with our twenty extra pounds of lady love and fight the power people.
Alison Umminger
#19. Jesus loves you ... He's not 'in love' with you.
Jimmy Carr
#21. They would regret that they had not killed him; he would get out of that hole and find Juliana sooner or later, even if he had to pursue her to hell itself. "Oh, you won't have to go that far, we are on our way to California," Diego said in farewell
Isabel Allende
#22. I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?
Jean Illsley Clarke
#23. I love all of you - the good, the bad, the funny, the angry, the slightly insane. I even love it when you're jealous of someone who couldn't hold a candle to you. That's not going to change." "How
Lorna Seilstad
#24. Don't be silly. I'll write you twice a week.
Groucho Marx
#25. You can't make someone love you, all you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in
Caleb Followill
#26. Pray for the love which allows you to see the good in your companion. Pray for the love that makes weaknesses and mistakes seem small. Pray for the love to make your companion's joy your own. Pray for the love to want to lessen the load and soften the sorrows of your companion
Henry B. Eyring
#28. I love the studio audience. That's where I feel the most at home. You know right away if you're being funny or not.
Kaley Cuoco
#29. It's funny what love can do to a person. It strips them of everything, even their instincts. It creates a new reality for you to adhere to, a new world where you break the rules just to keep the love intact.
Karina Halle
#30. Why did you become romantically involved with such a foul creature? ... ... ..
Because he's wonderful and sensitive and funny. Because we bring out the best in each other and are better people because of our love. Because when we're together, I feel like I understand my place in the world.
Richelle Mead
#31. When you marry your mistress, you create a job vacancy.
James Goldsmith
#32. Everybody's funny if you love them.
Anna Torv
#33. Best fight ever in a movie: 'They Live.' I want to do a martial arts version of that, where you think it's ended, and it just keeps on going. I love that fight. It was funny as well. Unexpected.
Scott Adkins
#34. Sort of' is such a harmless thing to say ... sort of. It's just a filler. Sort of ... it doesn't really mean anything. But after certain things, sort of means everything. Like ... after "I love you" ... or "You're going to live" ... or "It's a boy!
Demetri Martin
#35. It's funny how the littlest things can make you feel larger than life; the right lyric, the most heartfelt melody, the clearest message. Love.
Alex Gaskarth
#36. Funny isn't it?" said Sebastian. "The lies good people tell. He'll probably make you eggs every day for the rest of your life now, and you'll choke them down because you can't tell him you don't like them."
Clary thought of the Seelie Queen. "Love makes liars of us all?
Cassandra Clare
#37. Until lunchtime, he'd had no idea, really, what love was, but now he knew.
It made you happy, and it made you want to dance, and it made you feel funny.
But most of all, you knew you had someone you could trust.
Someone you could tell everything to. Absolutely everything.
John Saul
#38. I want you to lie to me just as sweetly as you know how for the rest of my life.
F Scott Fitzgerald
#39. It was the love of love, the love of swallows up all else, a grateful love, a love of natural, of people, of animals, a love ingengering gentleness and goodness that moved meand that I saw in you
William Carlos Williams
#40. Fate's funny like that, sticking her hand into places that at the time you want to curse her for - then, years later, you just want to nod and wink at her as you move into that sweet spot you've been hoping for all those years.
A. Wilding Wells
#41. While you're singing something romantic, I can't get the lyrics to 'Love and Marriage' out of my head, and that tune always reminds me of the jingle from Jeopardy.
E.A. Bucchianeri
#42. If you really love one another, you will not be able to avoid making sacrifices.
Mother Teresa
#43. As my laughter faded, he shot me an amused glance. "You should laugh more often. It's far less nauseating than your speaking voice."
"That may be the nicest thing you've ever said to me."
"Don't let it go to your head.
Cecily White
#44. I remember love. It's what I have to keep on reminding myself. It's funny how you can forget everything except people loving you.
Melina Marchetta
#45. Some say Twitter is overrated.
Some love it, others hate it.
I guess it depends on what you've got,
If you have guts to write a funny plot!
Ana Claudia Antunes
#46. Sometimes you are the peanut to my butter and sometimes you are those annoying crumbs left over when someone makes toast.
Brenda Lochinger
#47. When I was a kid I would write songs, little plays, and poetry in school. If you're an adult and you're a poet, it's all about love and pain, but if you're a kid it's, "Does anyone know a word that rhymes with shark?"
Mike Birbiglia
#49. You'll be back! If you're not, then I'll come and find you. Now, do as I say and go have some fun. I want those eyes to have light in them next time I see you." He turned me around, smacked my arse and sent me on my way.
Lesley Jones
#50. But love had a funny way of giving you faith in the one who loved you back. And nothing was guaranteed in life, neither riches nor health. At the end of the day, you just had to let yourself go ... and the best place to land was in the arms of a good man.
J.R. Ward
#51. What's so funny about cats is that they have this kind of aloof, superior vibe to them. Even if you love them, they are unpredictable. Dogs are more social, and the way that they attach and bond to us is much more human.
Ze Frank
#52. The funny thing is, I don't care too much. You think you love something so badly, but when it's gone you find out you don't care so much.
Damon Galgut
#54. Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you're in.
Courteney Cox
#55. Nice costume," he said.
"Ditto. I can tell you put a lot of thought into yours."
Amusement curled his mouth. "If you don't like it, I can take it off.
Becca Fitzpatrick
#56. Love doesn't drop on you unexpectedly; you have to give off signals, sort of like an amateur radio operator.
Helen Gurley Brown
#57. Every time you strip my sword, I owe you a kiss. How's that sound?" I bit my lip to keep from giggling.
"That sounds really dirty."
Patch waggled his brows. "Look whose mind just rolled into the gutter.
Becca Fitzpatrick
#58. I pull back. "I'm going to have to change my computer password."
"Oh yeah? To what?"
"I-love-Josh."
"4 eva, he replies."
"You cracked my password?
Sally Thorne
#59. I said alone!"
He nodded in agreement. "Aye, you usually say that, and I still stay. It's our way.
Kresley Cole
#60. I love it when you talk clean to me, quoting training manuals like sonnets.
Amanda Hocking
#61. I love writing both fiction and memoir. Both have unique challenges; bottom line, fiction is hard because you have to come up with the credible, twisty plot, and memoir is hard because you have to say something true and profound, albeit in a funny way.
Lisa Scottoline
#62. I love New York. You can pop out of the Underworld in Central Park, hail a taxi, head down Fifth Avenue with a giant hellhound loping along behind you and nobody even looks at you funny.
Rick Riordan
#64. At the door, Audrey called, "Are you coming?"
"No, just breathing hard, love." He glanced at her and was rewarded by an outraged glare, followed by, "Oh, my God!
Ilona Andrews
#65. You ... you got rid of that dress fast," I pointed out between heavy breaths. "I thought you liked it."
"I do like it," he said. His breathing was as heavy as mine. "I love it."
And then he took me to the bed.
Richelle Mead
#66. I love you like a gay geneticist loves designer genes.
Bo Burnham
#67. If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?
Lily Tomlin
#68. You're thoughtful, Barbara, but you're not open. You're passionate, but you're hard. You're a good, decent, funny, wonderful woman, and I love you, but you're a pain in the ass.
Tracy Letts
#69. It is astonishing how little one feels alone when one loves.
John Bulwer
#70. The sun weeps because it can no longer caress your skin or warm your lips." He sifted his fingers through my hair. "I do not envy the sun, Eva. But I truly hate the moon, because its light touches you in all the ways I cannot.
Michele Bardsley
#71. If you just stop and think, baby, honey, love is a funny thing. Whatever you put in, that's what you expect to gain.
Jimmy Reed
#72. I have a 10 year old boy and a 6 year old boy and the stuff that they watch, it's always ... I mean, it could be because we're a funny family, but they love the humor and combining humor with space action, I mean, you know, there's a winner right there.
Rhys Darby
#74. Light and funny has a more compelling quality when you're younger. But I haven't abandoned the genre: I love falling down; I love Lucille Ball. It's just that a lot of those stories revolve around problems that I can't convincingly portray at this age.
Julia Roberts
#75. You realize you've been staring at me for the past five minutes?
Catherine Doyle
#76. Don't get any funny ideas
When all is said and done, you're still artificial (a thing) ... Not human. Don't make the mistake of falling in love with one.
Shungiku Nakamura
#77. It's a funny thing about love: you don't need to have it returned to love somebody. Loving's enough.
A Prologue to Love
Taylor Caldwell
#78. When you're out in the wilderness and get back to base camp only to discover sleeping bag turndown service ... .that's no chocolate on the pillow
Josh Stern
#79. It'll leave you feeling hollow and helpless, and there is where you'll stay. Ain't it funny child, love sometimes leaves you as dead as yesterday.
Zakk Wylde
#80. I think I have a clue how much you love me now, Hop," I told him when he broke the kiss.
"Good to know, baby," he said through a grin.
"Thank you," I whispered.
"So far from a hardship, it isn't funny, lady, but you're welcome.
Kristen Ashley
#81. I went swimming the other day and my wife was watching and she said, 'You know, it's funny, it's when you've got no clothes on, no one recognizes you.' I said, 'What are you saying? That I should do more love scenes?'
Eddie Marsan
#82. I say that I'm not into you like that, Camryn, because..," he pauses, searching my face, looking at my lips for a moment as if deciding whether or not he should kiss them again, " ... because you're not the girl I could only sleep with once.
J.A. Redmerski
#83. Cause hearts are amazing things. They get lots bigger to make room for new people to love alongside the old people you love. -Simi
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#84. I took 'P.S. I Love You' thinking it was going to be a little funny, and I ended up crying every day on that film.
Hilary Swank
#85. Comedy is the only profession where love from a stranger is better than love from a family member. You need to perform for strangers to see if you're really funny. If they laugh and cheer, it's the greatest thing in the world.
Jay Leno
#86. The funny and the most beautiful thing about LOVE is..
you don't need any one else to fall in love with,, you can love yourself, the ambiance
around you, the things which belong to you, and even those which don't..
Sanhita Baruah
#87. Mom let go of us and leaned back so she could look us both in the eye. "No more spending the night in the tree fort, you two.
Danielle Lee Zwissler
#88. And write what you love - don't feel pressured to write serious prose if what you like is to be funny.
Cassandra Clare
#90. Hate is funny. Love isn't. Love can kill you. Hate can keep you alive.
Carol Grace
#91. You're not my words, Emma." I said, standing up and staring at the door while pretending to be gazing deep into her pretty hazel eyes. "But you're my numbers. You're all of my numbers." I paused, listened, and figured she had fallen asleep. "You're my infinity.
Morgan Parker
#92. You heard her the other night," Bruiser said. "She wants love. And devotion and compromise. Funny, isn't it, how women seem to want those things, when they're saying words like 'Till death do us part.
Tessa Dare
#93. That's good," Hunter said, panting. "Keep grinning at your attacker like that and they'll think you're way creepy. And mental."
I grinned wider. "I totally love this. Who can I punch next?
Alyxandra Harvey
#94. Kyle, you are a mellow dude ... You can't be with an agitator. And that's what she is. An agitator. She's a Jackson Pollock and you're a Thomas Kinkade.
Genevieve Dewey
#95. The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love.
Joe E. Lewis
#96. I love funny people, and when I'm with funny people, or people who are amusing in their weirdness, I love it. Because that to me is funny, as opposed to someone who stops and says, 'Hey let me tell you a joke.'
Paul Feig
#97. Um ... Mercer? Haven't seen you in nearly a month. I was expecting something like, 'Oh Cross, love of my heart, fire of my loins, how I've longed
Rachel Hawkins
#98. Don't you wish we all lived in black light ... for one thing, it would mean an end to toothpaste as we know it
Josh Stern
#99. It's funny. You love something and one day it's suddenly gone or changed or lost forever. But somehow that doesn't stop your loving. Maybe that's how you know it's the real thing.
Tony Parsons
#100. I started off thinking Eminem was a flash in the pan, a kind of hip-hop Hanson brother. How wrong I was. Recovery is sometimes funny, sometimes terrible, always painfully honest. The matching of Eminem and Rihanna on "Love the Way You Lie" is pure genius. "Not Afraid" is pretty great too.
Stephen King
