Funny Drive Thru Quotes

#1. Always remember your kid's name. Always remember where you put your kid. Don't let your kid drive until their feet can reach the pedals. Use the right size diapers ... for yourself. And, when in doubt, make funny faces.

Amy Poehler

#2. I wouldn't miss this fake-homo show for all the Gucci Shoes on Rodeo Drive.

River Jaymes

#3. There's a fine line between stuff, and if you stare at it long enough it'll drive you insane or to genius

Josh Stern

#4. I briefly consider keying her precious BMW, but quite frankly, I don't have the energy to go all Carrie Underwood on her ass. I still have over an hour drive ahead of me.

-Jackson 'Blame It on the Pain

Ashley Jade

#5. I can only drive slowly."
"That's all right."
"And I can only do left turns."
Rose ran downstairs, grabbed a road atlas, and ran triumphantly back up again. "Wales is left! Look! It's left all the way!

Hilary McKay

#6. Lucian. She's not normal. She's got the sex drive of Ursula. I'm so ashamed to say I've faked illnesses and gone to the doctor just to have a doctor's excuse! ~Steve~

Lucian Bane

#7. People see my impressions as a great skill and I am flattered, but there are things I can't do that everyone else can. I can do funny voices and funny faces but I can't drive.

Matt Lucas

#8. This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.

W.C. Fields

#9. If your pussy was so good, you would drive a better car.

Katt Williams

#10. Three weeks ago, she learned how to drive. Last week she learned how to aim it.

Henny Youngman

#11. Me and my dad used to play tag, he'd drive!

Rodney Dangerfield

#12. Everyone thinks softball is a girl's game. But you only think that until you get hit with it on a line drive.

Jerry Smith

#13. My brother spent a large portion of the agonizingly slow drive to school banging his forehead on the stearing wheel.

Michelle Hodkin

#14. drive like hell was chasing you.

Cassandra Clare

#15. I'm a 4-wheel-drive pickup type of guy. So is my wife.

Mike Greenwell

#16. I can't swim. I can't drive, either. I was going to learn to drive but then I thought, well, what if I crash into a lake?

Dylan Moran

#17. Think your mother will let me drive you to school tomorrow? Now that we're all friends and united by a belief in the careful use of contraception?"
My cheeks burn, the memory of my mother's mortifying behavior distracting me for a moment. "Yes," I mumble. "I think so.

Stacey Jay

#18. Eventually, Krysomallos would be skinned for his fleece, which became known as the Golden Fleece, which means I am related to a sheepskin rug.
This is why you don't want to think too hard about who you're related to in the Greek myths. It'll drive you crazy.

Rick Riordan

#19. I'm in no condition to drive ... wait! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm drunk!

Yogi Berra

#20. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

George Carlin

#21. I had a dream about you last night ... I was a brick and you were a blanket. Damn that improbability drive.

Nicole McKay

#22. I'll drive like my grandma. I'll drive like your grandma."
"You wouldn't say that if you knew my gramma.

Kami Garcia

#23. I told you not to drink that much water on the drive," Sarah told her. "You never listen to me."
"Sorry I don't have the bladder of a freaking sloth."
"You mean camel," Sarah corrected.
"I meant sloth," the other girl said. "I read somewhere they only have to go once a week.

Alexandra Bracken

#24. I don't have sex drive ... I have sex 'just sit in the car and hope someone gets in'.

Louis C.K.

#25. It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner.

Ben Berger

#26. South Central Los Angeles [is the] home of the drive-thru and the drive-by. Funny thing is, the drive-thrus are killing more people than the drive-bys.

Ron Finley

#27. And I figured you'd drive a four-hour round-trip before giving up your car to someone else

Richelle Mead

#28. When I sell liquor, it's bootlegging. When my patrons serve it on a silver tray on Lakeshore Drive, it's hospitality.

Al Capone

#29. Being a Scientologist, when you drive past an accident ... you know you have to do something about it because you know you're the only one that can really help.

Tom Cruise

#30. It's funny, I can sit through the worst horror film ever made but even a quite good romantic comedy can drive me nuts.

Jason Reitman

#31. His herding instinct is so strong that he confuses tractors on a baseball field for sheep. He was hospitalized twice. Once by a line drive and once for attacking a tractor tread.

Tom Hayden

#32. And it's a long drive down the line to centerfield.

Jerry Coleman