Top 100 Cookie Quotes
#1. In a cookie factory, different cookies are baked in the shape of animals, cars, people, and airplanes. They all have different names and forms, but they are all made from the same dough, and they all taste the same.
Stephen Mitchell
#2. the counters and center island were crammed with mason jars and novelty saltshakers and cookie jars in the shapes of cats, blimps, pumpkins, frogs, robots, potbellied demons, and other things.
Tim Pratt
#3. Never trust what a man says when he's focused on putting his schlong into your cookie, dear.
Tracy Tappan
#4. Watch, learn... and don't eat my cookie.
Phoebe
#5. Mom led Jaime down a hall of crystal cabinets and ushered him into the floral armchair that Theo had once purposely peed on as a kid. The pee story was the first out of their mom's mouth. Whatever. He'd been four. Mom should have given him the cookie.
Anyta Sunday
#6. Of course, that rationalization didn't work at all. It would have helped if I'd had some Oreo cookie ice cream to eat that the same time. I've learned that self-delusion is much easier when there's something sweet in your mouth.
Lee Goldberg
#7. She is not a cookie. Neither is she a biscuit, a PopTart, Sweet TART, apple tart, or any other kind of pastry. She is my apprentice.
Jim Butcher
#8. You just never know when it might be cookie time. And, that is what the dogs have taught me.
Merrill Markoe
#10. Once I opened up a fortune cookie and inside was the guy's cheque next to me I said hey buddy I got your cheque he said thanks.
Rodney Dangerfield
#11. Fennik growled. "You mock me."
Korbyn's face was innocent, like Jidali's after he sneaked a cookie from Aunt Sabisa. "I would never mock such an illustrious personage," Korbyn said.
Sarah Beth Durst
#12. Which reminds me of a fortune cookie: you often find your destiny on the path you take to avoid it.
Hector Elizondo
#14. Actually, she smelled like some kind of confection. It was a distinctive mix of sugar cookie and ocean.
J.M. Madden
#15. A lot of the television industry is so cookie-cutter. In general, there are so many shows that are easy and bland to watch. You can tune in at any time and know exactly where you are in the story arc because it's pretty much the same every week.
Adam Baldwin
#16. I don't think Julia Roberts is as innocent as her image suggests. You have to be a really smart cookie to create an image as clean and pure and on-the-money as hers.
Sharon Stone
#18. Whoa. It was hard to stick to my resolve of not caving to the ridiculous notion of us being together when he was actually ... nice, and when he stared at me like I was the last piece of chocolate in the whole world.
Which made me think of that damn chocolate chip cookie in his mouth.
Jennifer L. Armentrout
#19. Nothing sets the world right like slightly melted chocolate from a fresh-baked cookie.
Julie Wetzel
#20. Every day in New York City is a test. Work hard and pass this test, you get a chocolate cookie. From a strange man on the subway. A man without pants.
Christy Hall
#21. If you can spell "Nietzsche" without Google, you deserve a cookie.
Lauren Leto
#22. Madison looked down at her cookie and back at Chris. "Why did he get a brownie and I only got a cookie?"
"Because I love him unconditionally and you're making him sweat." Chris stuffed the rest of the brownie in his mouth.
R.L. Mathewson
#23. Kissing Travis was like licking raw cookie dough off the spoon; it might be bad for her, but it was too delicious to care.
Codi Gary
#24. Ads are baked into content like chocolate chips into a cookie. Except, it's actually more like raisins into a cookie because no one [expletive] wants them there.
John Oliver
#25. Cookies didn't weigh that much in cookie form. Their weight multiplied significantly once they'd processed themselves onto your ass.
Kristen Ashley
#26. Cookie cutters are for baking, not branding.
David Brier
#27. Everyone tries to look a cookie-cutter kind of way, and actually the people who look different are the ones who get picked up.
Meryl Streep
#28. Everybody, even those that don't like Chinese food, knew that you had to eat the cookie for the fortune to come true. And so he did.
Justin Swapp
#29. There is a cookie trail of all my interests lodged in some digital sphere which will one day consolidate the collected data of six billion souls and vomit out - I don't know - personalized infomercials for deodorant and car wax.
J. Lincoln Fenn
#30. A full moon rose in the pale evening sky and glowed with a rich white inner light that brought to mind, but perfectly, the creamy inside of an Oreo cookie. (Eventually on the trail everything reminds you of food.)
Bill Bryson
#32. Why are terms of endearment always food? Honey, cookie, sugar, pumpkin. Its not like caring about someone is enough to actually sustain you.
Jodi Picoult
#33. Nobody needs a cookie. You will never get your lab results back, Well, apparently, Miss Bexim what you need - and I am a doctor, I've never seen this before - some sort of a cookie. You're actually too healthy. You need a cookie.
Dom Irrera
#34. Do not turn into just cookie-cutter producer, cookie-cutter this, but a producer that people say wow, when they do something it's great or just unique or whatever.
Ice Cube
#35. You shouldn't trust me. But you shouldn't trust anyone else here either. Every smile, every kind word - every cookie - it's all done with one goal. And that's a dead princess.
Danielle Paige
#36. In Cookie's defense, it was raining wildcats and rabid dogs.
Darynda Jones
#37. The Phillies in the 1960s had shortstop Bobby Wine and second baseman Cookie Rojas, a period known as the Days of Wine and Rojas.
Tim Kurkjian
#38. Kids are not fooled when we try to cover up inequality. They will divide a cookie precisely in half. They're the most conscientious people in the world that way.
Sofia Samatar
#39. Do you know how many times I've read "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie" to this kid? That is one fucked-up story. How is that a book for babies?
Huntley Fitzpatrick
#40. Prior to then it was believed that black holes were just cosmic cookie monsters, swallowing everything that came within their gravitational clutches.
John D. Barrow
#41. Walter noticed the blue Cookie Monster head resting on the floor, From some angles, the smiling open mouth looked like an expression of abashed joy, from others it resembled horror.
Rion Amilcar Scott
#42. When none of those seemed to cure her, she moved on to modern medicine: a fertility specialist, who recommended drugs to induce ovulation and daily hormone injections that made her sob over a missed green light, a cookie dropped to the floor, bow-tied pigtails on little girls. The
Sarah McCoy
#43. Me want Martin flavored cookie! Me want cookie now!!
Penny Reid
#44. They're just treats. Like Cookie Monster says, 'Cookies are a sometimes food.' Sometimes doesn't mean never." "You're quoting Cookie Monster?" Bev stared at him. "Somebody has to.
Gretchen Galway
#45. Apparently, in high school, Cookie had been voted Person Most Likely to Die Any Second Now.
Darynda Jones
#46. I know they say that's the way the cookie crumbles and all. But you can't help but wonder why there's any cookie-crumbling going on in the first place.
Andrea Portes
#47. Showers: I must have wounded him.
Storm: With a cookie?
Richard Castle
#48. I have a bad sweet tooth. I'm pretty good when I have to eat well for work, but otherwise, I could eat a whole roll of raw cookie dough.
Jeremy Renner
#49. The next time you come to the Cookie Jar, the coffee's on me. You could probably bottle that stuff of yours and sell it for rat poison.
Joanne Fluke
#50. He digs out a fortune cookie fortune from his mouth, as if his mouth has a pocket. It says THE SIMPLEST ANSWER IS TO ACT. He hands it to me. I nod and put the fortune in my own mouth pocket.
A.S. King
#51. Thought for the day: Twitter ... 140 character limit ... must be a great tool for fortune cookie writers ...
E.A. Bucchianeri
#53. My phone pinged. It was a text from Cookie.
I'm not good at cocking guns.
Really? Did she not know me at all?
I texted her back.
You can do this. Learn the cock, Cookie.
Know the cock.
Be the cock.
Darynda Jones
#54. A friend ... sort of. Ren watches me like I'm a cookie jar he wouldn't mind being caught with his hands in.
Andrea Cremer
#55. The more this guy talked, the more he sounded like a fortune cookie.
Kelly Creagh
#56. Is she smiling " Cookie asked.
I looked over at her. "I think she is."
"She never smiled this early."
"Nobody smiles this early. It's illegal in seventeen states.
Darynda Jones
#57. Yes..." I gasped, shocked that I was admitting it. Brianna had caught me with my todger in the cookie jar and I just couldn't deny it, I was overwhelmed with excitement and pure animalistic arousal.
John Key
#58. I had to promise to look him up if I was ever in the City of Angels." She winked to Uncle Bob. "He liked my voice." "Mom," Amber said, utterly appalled. "You used your feminine wiles on a man you don't even know." Cookie smiled. "That's what they're for, honey. Eat your salad.
Darynda Jones
#59. If I solve this one, said Harry's brain, I want a cookie afterward, and if you make the problem any more difficult than this, I mean the slightest bit more difficult, I am climbing out of your skull and heading for Tahiti.
Eliezer Yudkowsky
#60. It was a cookie, not a crack pipe.
J. Lynn
#61. Less is More. It's the Chocolate Chip in your cookie. Yes, it's delicious. But you can't have a cookie that's *all* chocolate chip. It just doesn't work.
Patrick Rothfuss
#62. I wake at 5 or 5:30 most mornings, make myself a latte and grab a cookie, write until 10 or 11, go have my favorite meal, 'second breakfast,' or grab coffee with friends, or play basketball. Then, around noon, I begin apologizing via email for the manuscripts I can't get to.
Jess Walter
#63. Oh Cecelia, you would have loved my grandmother, Miz Goodpepper said, dunking a cookie into her wine. She was so alive and full of original ideas, especially for that era. While other women were busy being proper, she was busy cultivating her spirit.
Beth Hoffman
#64. The cookie maker needs someone to look out for him.
Kim Harrison
#65. A cookie has no soul, it's just a cookie. But before it was milk and eggs. And in eggs there's the potential for life.
Jean-Claude Van Damme
#66. I'm beginning to think cookies is a code word for something else."
"Maybe it is." He tugged on my bag again as he took a confident step back, forcing me down another step. "And just think about it. If cookie was a code word, whatever it symbolizes, it's been in your mouth, sweetheart.
J. Lynn
#67. Personally, I love the cookie monster grunts. I like how they alienate listeners. We sound the way we sound. We're individuals. We don't all like the same music. Everybody contributes their own influences, style, and history.
David Pajo
#68. There were a lot of teen stars that were very cookie-cutter ... I'm just being me.
Justin Bieber
#69. Have you slept yet?'
'Sure. I took a power nap on the way over.'
'Didn't you drive there?'
'Yeah. Other drviers kept waking me up. Car horns should be illegal.'
- Charley & Cookie
Darynda Jones
#70. It was highly possible that I saved that cookie from possible extinction. Ok, who was I kidding? When it came to cookie extinction, I was a world-ender.
Bradford Bates
#71. This blue shirt i have is practically the same color as my jeans, and looking all-blue is something only cookie monster can pull off.
David Levithan
#72. Cookie didn't dare light a fire, so we have cold food this evening. (Morgan)
Yum. Hard-boiled wood, my favorite. (Serenity)
Kinley MacGregor
#73. A foolish man thinks he knows everything. A wise man knows he doesn't," Finn replied absently, still looking down at the book.
"That's such a fortune-cookie answer," I said with a laugh, and even he smirked at me.
Amanda Hocking
#74. I love you more than the cookie monster loves cookies.
Truth Devour
#75. I'm worried about the future of America insofar as our academically most promising students are being funneled through the cookie-cutter Ivy League and other elite schools and emerging with this callow anti-American, anti-military cast to their thinking.
Camille Paglia
#76. Mason Patel is my counterpart. He is the eraser to my chalk. The milk to my cereal. The chocolate to my peanut butter. We were made for each other in cookie heaven.
Cheryl McIntyre
#77. If he didn't get his cookie, then Harte would reacquaint himself with his hand.
Belinda McBride
#79. I don't believe that everybody is out of some kind of cookie cutter, so the thing that protects me is always being level with myself, even to myself.
Chuck D
#80. I'm a smart enough person to know that I don't want everyone to be cookie-cutter versions of the nine guys who wear Converse sneakers.
Mindy Kaling
#81. Well, what do you want me to do? Head butt my way through a few inches of steel?!" she snarled.
"Well, that would certainly earn you a cookie!
S.L.J. Shortt
#83. Funny, how one good cookie could calm the mind and even elevate a troubled soul.
Dean Koontz
#84. The cookie is the critical part. It's a word I created for sex and you've got to give a man all three things. If you miss one out, he is going to find it somewhere else.
Steve Harvey
#85. There's an oatmeal cookie in there. I see no reason for the existence of oatmeal, particularly in cookies.
J.D. Robb
#87. Holy crap and damn. Now they both hated me. At least Cookie still liked me. "I hate you," Cookie said as she checked her phone. "Just so you know.
Darynda Jones
#88. I want a girl who looks good when she wakes up in the morning. We could take her face and dip it in dough and she'll make some nice-face cookies. Some girls wake up, man, you could put their face in dough and you'll get a gorilla cookie, for real!
Flavor Flav
#89. The Vice-Presidency is sort of like the last cookie on the plate. Everybody insists he won't take it, but somebody always does.
Bill Vaughan
#90. Am I alone in this mother-food connection or does being with your mom trigger the sudden and voracious need for large amounts of mac & cheese, rice pudding, and the scraps along the side of a bowl of cookie dough?
April Paine
#91. She's not a cookie, or a book, or a record on a shelf. You can't just play with her and then put her back.
Kathleen Glasgow
#92. I'm going to let that slide because you seemed to have been in the middle of being eaten by a monster." He was clutching his midsection as if from pain, the squashed remnants of a soft brown cookie squeezing between his fingers as though dough from a pasta machine.
BMB Johnson
#93. If you can fix my website by midnight, I will bake you more cookies than even Cookie Monster can imagine, and read you a bedtime story that is guaranteed to bring you sweet dreams." *some exclusions apply
Sandy Klein Bernstein
#94. I find it hilarious when Obama's hand gets caught in the cookie jar
Allen West
#95. I'll eat one cookie, not a whole box of cookies. But I'll still eat the one cookie ... sometimes two, or even three. But not the whole box.
Kate Winslet
#96. This is like a cookie, it tastes like a cookie having sex with a doughnut.
Daniel Handler
#97. People have got to learn: if they don't have cookies in the cookie jar, they can't eat cookies.
Suze Orman
#98. Rick's a beater. He likes it. When I first got here, he beat all the kids. I told him I wanted to take it for everybody." Beckett had shrugged like he'd just eaten the last cookie. "I'm a big fucking bastard. I can handle it.
Debra Anastasia
#99. Most Americans don't know enough about basic economics to fill out one fortune cookie.
Neal Boortz
#100. Children ask better questions than adults. "May I have a cookie?" "Why is the sky blue?" and "What does a cow say?" are far more likely to elicit a cheerful response than "Where's your manuscript?" "Why haven't you called?" and "Who's your lawyer?"
Fran Lebowitz
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