Top 100 Ass's Quotes
#1. Without wisdom, man is as the wild ass's colt, running hither and thither, wasting strength which might be profitably employed. Wisdom is the compass by which man is to steer across the trackless waste of life; without it he is a derelict vessel, the sport of winds and waves.
Charles Haddon Spurgeon
#2. A traveller should have a hog's nose, a deer's legs, and an ass's back.
Benjamin Franklin
#4. He curled his claw into a fist. "I'd like to shove a stake up that bastard's ass."
Adam's lip curled. "Remind me not to piss you off."
The demon raised his brow. "Trust that shit, mancy.
Jaye Wells
#5. Why is it one can busta rhyme or busta move anywhere, but one must busta cap in someone's ass?
Christopher Moore
#6. You're an asshole."
"And you're a bitch," he says. "A bitch with a kick-ass smile and eyes that can seriously screw with a guy's head.
Simone Elkeles
#7. Tom pounded into him. Prophet bit out a howl, hooked his ankles behind Tom's back and dug his heels against the man's ass, forcing him deeper inside.
S.E. Jakes
#9. Friends with benefits, my ass. He's mine.
J.M. Madden
#10. I'm sitting, waiting to get on the freeway, and I'm waiting my ass off. I look over at the side of the road, and there's a hitchhiker with a sign and it says, 'Pick me up, and you can drive in the carpool lane.' I got to tell you, he was kind of smelly, but he was a good conversationalist.
Doug Benson
#11. Jenner actually gets dizzy from the sight of Brayden's bare ass.
Lynn Kelling
#12. I'm glad people think I'm a badass. I'm a rock and roller, and I'm an R&B and a blueswoman. I don't do fairy music, although I love Celtic music and sensitive music. There's a balance between ballads and kick-ass songs.
Bonnie Raitt
#13. She had become the demon, only too much, and too fast. I had an incredible urge to knock her on her ass, take her down a few notches. Turning her just got higher on the priority scale. That's if I didn't kill her first.
L.J. Kentowski
#14. What are you, some kind of superhero?" "Nah, I'm just a guy who sometimes kicks ass for Uncle Sam." "Okay," she whispered. "So ... just so you know, that's superhero material in my book.
Zoe York
#15. Sex is interesting, but it's not totally important. I mean it's not even as important (physically) as excretion. A man can go seventy years without a piece of ass, but he can die in a week without a bowel movement.
Charles Bukowski
#16. The purpose of ass-kicking is not that your ass gets kicked at the right time or for the right reason," she often explained. "It's to keep your ass sensitive.
Gloria Steinem
#17. Coach Bryant, before you start hugging me, you ought to know that my boys are fixing to get after y'all's ass,
Pat Dye
#18. Po's been sick, you know." "I'm sorry to hear that," he said, with no expression. "Don't be an ass. He's actually been quite unwell.
Kristin Cashore
#19. She can't wear that dress! It's indecent. Her ass is hangin' out."
...
"Son, take my advice, you gotta get this girl in hand. You can't let her run around with her ass hangin' out. You allow it once, she'll do it again. Trust me, I know.
Kristen Ashley
#20. They really are something else together."
"Something else? That's the nice way of saying they're bat shit crazy."
"Hey! You listen here, woman."
"You can listen to my foot up your ass if you call me woman again. And you can take that to court.
J. Lynn
#21. Face down, ass up, that's the way we both got stuck
Daniel Tosh
#22. It's a hundred dollars for ten minutes." "Fuck, that's a lot! She doesn't have a golden pussy!" I hear the Bogeyman laugh that nasty laugh of his. It's slow and deep, making me even more scared. "Her pussy is golden, you'll be the first. So pay up or get your filthy ass out of my trailer!
Michelle Horst
#23. With a little hum of pleasure, he strokes my leg, his expression content, his body loose-limbed and lazy. Give the man a blow job and a little unexpected ass play, and he's practically purring.
Kristen Callihan
#24. If someone says there's a portal to hell under some rocks, you bet your ass I'm going to move them.
Ryan Buell
#25. Chyna's dumb ass messed up by trying to run Blaize over. How could she be so stupid to think that no one would see the plates?
Myiesha
#26. Mary, Mary don't say no, down the basement we shall go. Slap your ass against the wall, here i come balls and all. Won't your daddy be disgusted, when he sees your cherry busted. Won't your mama be surprised, when she sees your belly rise! Sound Off....(ect.)
U.S. Military
#27. An image of Sydney's face appeared in my mind's eye, calm and lovely.
I believe in you.
My anxiety faded.
I took a deep breath and met the gazes of all those watching me in the room.
Who was I to do this?
I was Adrian Ivashkov.
And I was about to kick some ass.
Richelle Mead
#28. Sloane motioned for him to follow and Dex did, happily, his eyes glued to Sloane's ass. Sweet Aunt Jemima, what he wouldn't give to have a piece of that tasty - "You hungry?" "Starved," Dex muttered, clearing his throat and tearing his gaze away.
Charlie Cochet
#29. I don't trust nobody that don't have my name tattooed on her ass, and then it's iffy.
Lois Greiman
#30. Suddenly, I developed an acute case of Tourette's syndrome, Fuck! That fucking-shit-son-of-an-ass-monkey-dick-weasel!
Christine Zolendz
#31. -I suck cock because I like cock. I like getting my cock sucked and I really--yes, really--like sucking the cocks of other men! And you know what I like the best of all? I like sticking my cock up some other man's ass!
Tali Spencer
#32. You lame moron. What a stupid thing to say. She tells you she loves you and you come back with "That's nice"? Gods! You might as well tell her that her ass is fat and go ahead and get the groin kick. This time you deserve it.
- Syn
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#33. [On refusing to be silenced:] I do not pretend to be John the Baptist rebuking the Pharisees. I do not claim to be Nathan upbraiding David. I aspire only to be Balaam's ass, castigating his master.
Katharina Zell
#34. You know, Stone, just because a pretty girl prefers a firefighter to you doesn't mean all the boys at that firehouse need to suffer for you bein' jilted. Far's I know, you got served this lesson at least once before. Learn, son. You may actually land a girl one day if you stop actin' like an ass.
Kristen Ashley
#35. Her first week on the job a caller went silent in surprise on the other end of the line, expecting to hear Miss Jacobs' voice. Bertie's response: "Speak ass, 'cause the mouth won't!
Dawn Shamp
#36. You don't understand; this girl's different. She's beautiful, kind, giving, sweet, strong, stubborn, and quite a smart ass."
Connor Black's thoughts on Ellery Lane
Sandi Lynn
#37. He'd better stay the hell away from you or I will whip out the lawnmower on his ass," she declared.
"That move's not for ass use," I joked
Tammara Webber
#38. Zach had been on the receiving end of a few of Lanning's ass-chewings back in the day. They were epic sagas of righteous fury and perfectly applied touches of profanity. It was like being verbally disemboweled.
Christopher Farnsworth
#39. Matt is suddenly enveloped by an actress. She's doting on him and wearing the skimpiest dress to flash her toned muscles and perky ass and breasts.
Katy Evans
#40. Got here half an hour ago and had a look, eyeballin' it," Sawyer said. "It's murder, all right. Tell you something else - the sun went down, and it's as dark as the inside of a horses's ass out here."
"You're sure?"
"Well, I've never actually been inside a horses's ass.
John Sandford
#41. A child isn't a symbol, it's a child! It needs applesauce and, and, and playpens and an ass-load of other things we can't provide while we're on the goddamn lam!
Just to be clear. Your exact words to me were: "Please shoot it in my twat."
Yeah. I know.
Brian K. Vaughan
#42. He's not my dad," Kaira said. "Just because he married my - As soon as I turn eighteen I'm firing his ass! Then I'll call you.
Louis Sachar
#43. Not always. Sometimes it's ass, Vince said, cleverly bringing ass back into the conversation one more time. I began to wonder if there was a hidden camera, with a smirking game-show host handing out a prize every time we used the word.
Jeff Lindsay
#44. I am a bit of a goody-goody. Not that there aren't times when I think, I was kind of an (ass) today. I work in a world in which people are really catered to; someone will come up to me and say, "Is it OK if this person's makeup is done before yours for the premiere?"
Jennifer Garner
#45. That's the kinda dude I was lookin fo & yes you'll get slapped if you lookin hoe
Nicki Minaj
#46. Learn to deal with that. It's the way of the world. You fight and struggle and work your ass off and then you die. Deal with that.
James Frey
#47. There's a little bit of me in there, too, and it is bad ass. Hey, her and Hayden might be the stars, but even stars need a sky, right?
Right?
C.M. Stunich
#48. Maybe everything the slave catcher said was true, Cora thought, every justification, and the sons of Ham were cursed and the slave master performed the Lord's will. And maybe he was just a man talking to an outhouse door, waiting for someone to wipe her ass. -
Colson Whitehead
#49. Jesus." Blake rubbed his throat. "You have anger management problems. Its like a disease."
"There's a cure and it's called kicking your ass.
Jennifer L. Armentrout
#50. And who came up with the animals for these euphemisms, anyway? Why bat shit? Why not cow shit or grasshopper shit? And why don't we give a rat's ass as opposed to a hamster's ass?
Darynda Jones
#51. In one scene, when I was supposed to say, "In a pig's eye you are," what came out was, "In a pig's ass you are." Old habits die awfully hard.
Ava Gardner
#52. Paranoid can also be defined as "carefully smart"! Almost every episode of SVU is based on a true story; I'd watched my fill until they moronically cut Detective Stabler's fine-ass character.
Angela Graham
#53. A new voice pops up on the comm, relayed from the station. March. "What the frag are you doing, Triumph? Who's at the helm? I didn't give clearance for a pleasure cruise."
"Can't talk, Commander," Hit answers smoothly. "We're busy saving your ass.
Ann Aguirre
#54. I try to ignore the fact that I can feel Kieren's hard-on against my ass and that it's perfectly pressing into me. I tell my suddenly happy cunny to stop quivering with excitement. Naughty, puss, that's creepy Kieren rubbing on you. Stop purring, dammit!
Erica Chilson
#55. There's something in this starlight that loosens one's tongue. I'm an ass, and yet somehow I would like to tell you.
H.G.Wells
#56. How's it feel to be a worthless jumbo diddly-ass puppetool?
Jonathan Lethem
#58. Lloyd cut his eyes at Dior's dad and made a mental note to kill him good and slow, like maybe beat his ass with a hammer, cut his shriveled up balls off. Both
Leo Sullivan
#59. Looks like it's game time," Shame said. "Beautiful day for some ass kicking, don't you think?
Devon Monk
#60. Just because someone's a pain in the ass in life, doesn't mean when they're dead, we shouldn't be respectful.
M. Judeth Nelson
#61. She's either the house mom or the drill sergeant that you eventually like and respect, even after he's removed his size eleven boot from your ass.
Ernie Lindsey
#62. She's my friend."
"Good for you."
"Just my luck," I said. "Finally meet my twin brother and, turns out, he's an ass.
Kelley Armstrong
#63. If ya let hornets rest in yer outhouse, it's hard t'get pissed when they buzz down and sting yer ass.
Stephen J. Cannell
#64. I like ass-watching." Peabody settled herself in comfortably."When I see one bigger than mine, it makes me feel good. When I see one smaller, it helps me resist eating a whole bunch of cookies. It's a productive hobby, my ass-watching
J.D. Robb
#65. Personally, I think neutral is just another way of saving your own ass at the expense of someone else's.
Laurell K. Hamilton
#66. Don't envy having a bigger bra size. It's more of a pain in the ass than you realize.
Rebecca Donovan
#67. Riley Blackthorne - kicking hell's ass one demon at a time.
Jana Oliver
#68. You've no idea how wonderful toilet paper is until it's taken away from you by an unfeeling universe. I think it's the defining characteristic of human civilization, the ability to manufacture something decent to wipe your ass on.
Peter F. Hamilton
#69. That's good. Because you're going to be my assistant." He grins like a Cheshire cat.
I raise my eyebrows in surprise. "I am?"
"Yep, I'm going to put my hands all over that body of yours in the front of the room and you're going to kick my ass.
Vi Keeland
#70. You'd better be careful, they are going to revoke your vampire license if you get any more romantic and mushy."
"Don't worry," Burnett said, his eyes pinched as if serious. "I can still be a jackass, and kick ass, when it's called for.
C.C. Hunter
#71. I have come to the unequivocal decision that Kate Brooks's ass is one that I, sadly, am never going to tap. And I'm okay with that. Really.
And I almost believe myself.
Right up until she shows up at my door.
Christ.
Emma Chase
#72. You think they've killed before?"
"I'd bet your ass on it"
"Why my ass?" Eyes slitted, Peabody jabbed a finger in the air. "Because it's bigger? Because it has more padding? That's hitting below the belt."
"Your ass is below your belt. I'd bet mine, too, if it makes you feel better.
J.D. Robb
#73. Aside from blow jobs, though, I'm through with being the perfect girlfriend, just through with it. Then if he's sore with me, let him dump my ass. That will just give me more time to be a genius.
Sheila Heti
#74. That's good," Hunter said, panting. "Keep grinning at your attacker like that and they'll think you're way creepy. And mental."
I grinned wider. "I totally love this. Who can I punch next?
Alyxandra Harvey
#75. So, I come here to check on you and low and behold you're here. I wasted an entire night in Miranda's backyard when I could've been ratting food in your kitchen and watching the bad ass Chuck Bass on the television screen.
Abbi Glines
#76. Steele's tongue was right there, pushing Tech's ass higher so he could lick that sweet hole. Tech went crazy on top of him, driving his ass down on his mouth while Steele fucked him with his fingers. "Ohhh.
A.E. Via
#77. Too goddam many lawyers mixed up in this. Run the sonsobitches out. If they resists shoot 'em, that's what I says to the Governor, but they're all these sonsobitches a lawyers fussin' everythin' up all the time with warrants and habeas corpus and longwinded rigmarole. My ass to habeas corpus.
John Dos Passos
#78. An offensive war, I believe to be wrong and would therefore have nothing to do with it, having no right to meddle with another man's property, his ox or his ass, his man servant or his maid servant or anything this is his.
Daniel Morgan
#79. The officer asks me if I want to press charges against Trent and I glare at him like he's grown an arm out of his ass.
K.A. Tucker
#80. I can get a great look at a t-bone steak by shoving my head up a bull's ass but I'd rather take the butchers word for it.
Chris Farley
#81. I picked up the umeboshi from my tray and popped it into my mouth. I made a show of savoring the flavor. Truth be known, it was sour enough to twist my mouth as tight as a crab's ass at low tide, but I wasn't about to give her the satisfaction of seeing that.
Hiroshi Sakurazaka
#82. Girl, you're the Sentinel of this House, and you've been trained by Catcher and Luc and Ethan. He's in the training room right now. Get down there and kick his ass!
Chloe Neill
#83. Now, I know some women have issues with their bodies. Maybe you've got a little extra junk in the trunk? Get over it. Doesn't matter. Naked kicks Modest's ass every single time. Men are visual. We wouldn't be fucking you if we didn't want to look at you. You can write that down if you like.
Emma Chase
#84. There's a boy across the river with an ass like a peach; alas I was no swimmer and lost my Clementine.
William S. Burroughs
#85. I bizarrely think that this [Sin City] is the perfect date movie. If a guy took me on a date to see this movie, I would marry him, for sure. It's bad-ass chicks and rad dudes, who are sexy, all over the place, and there's so much cool action.
Jessica Alba
#86. Anything, Tim?" "Totally," he replied. "But we're staring at this black screen because it's way more interesting than pictures from Mars." "You're a smart-ass, Tim," Venkat said. "Noted.
Andy Weir
#87. I literally had a very articulate, though highly impaired, homeless man say to me, "Smokey! I love you! What's happening with Jacob?" Here's a guy living on the street, but he finds a way to watch Lost! And I'm looking at him, thinking, Your priorities are completely ass-backward!
Titus Welliver
#88. When being a stunt double, my job has always a supportive role, which is interesting, really. Part of what I really like about it is making a situation where people can just come out of their shell and be super bad-ass. That's exciting!
Zoe Bell
#89. Lucian's voice rang inside my head, loud and clear, "Move your ass, Elena, and no matter what, trust your reflexes." Relying on my clumsy butt was more like it. I'd made a joke, That was a good sign.
Adrienne Woods
#90. I could give a shit and piss who this is. She knows who we are. And she ain't got a little trickle goin' down her leg standing toe to toe with the bloodydamn Reaper of Mars, then she's got less brains than a wad of ass lint.
Pierce Brown
#91. Ambrose turned on his heel and stormed off, but before he made it through the door, Elodin burst out singing:
'He's a well-bred ass, you can see it in his stride!
And for a copper penny he will let you take a ride!
Patrick Rothfuss
#92. Cal would not be like any other father who went berserk because some hotshot football star got in their daughter's pants. Cal would go commando on Jasper's ass. "Tripp,
Kristen Ashley
#93. Periodically I just notch up. And everyone among my colleagues thinks that Perfidia - in its accessibility, its big throbbing heart - will be the biggest notch up yet. We'll see what happens. It's on my ass.
James Ellroy
#94. Manon's stomach went from her throat right out her ass,
Sarah J. Maas
#95. Oh, so how did the marrige counsling go?
Well let's just say after it was over there where two people who thought I was an ass. And i was paying both of 'um.
Jeff Dunham
#96. Profits aren't everything. If you can get out with only your ass intact, that's pretty good too.
Jesse Petersen
#97. Sadness is just happiness turned on its ass - it's all showbiz!
Guy Maddin
#98. What else am I missing here? What's in this for you?" "You." Ben was honest for once, and it seemed to work, making Maddox stop mid-laugh and wiping the smart-ass expression off his face. "You're in it for me. I don't do relationships, you're right. But I do you. And I want to try this with you.
Annabeth Albert
#99. Bess and I had a talk. January 1919. Everything flowed from that talk, that moment. Everything. Look back on your life and see if you can pinpoint the moment when everything changed. If you can't? That means you haven't had your momemt yet, and you better hold on to your ass, it's coming.
J.R. Moehringer
#100. No, you're just old. You've seen everything." "Not so old that I can't still kick your ass, girl," Gwyn said.
S.M. Reine
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