Waitress Quotes

#1. Auditioning for television shows - to find a guy who has a lot of experience as a laborer is a bit of an anomaly. We do exist.I know several other actors who have made their living, instead of a waitress job, framing houses or blacktopping roads.

Nick Offerman

#2. Teddy Roosevelt supported a progressive income tax. If I am sitting pretty and you've got a waitress who is making minimum wage plus tips, and I can afford it and she can't, what's the big deal for me to say, 'I'm going to pay a little bit more'? That is neighborliness.

Barack Obama

#3. For the rest of my life I'll be thinking about that hamburger. I'll be sitting there at the counter, holding it in my hands with tears streaming down my cheeks. The waitress will be looking away because she doesn't like to see kids crying when they are eating hamburgers ...

Richard Brautigan

#4. I'm sorry. I can't serve him that item," the waitress said, only somewhat surprising her since she had a pretty good idea why.
"Why not?" she found herself asking anyway out of curiosity to see if she was right.
***
"Because he's a Bradford," the woman explained with a shrug.

R.L. Mathewson

#5. I've worked since it was basically legal to work. I was a waitress on and off for eight years. I worked at Sears; I worked at Abercrombie folding clothes. My dad really instilled good money management habits, and I've saved 10 percent of my paycheck, every paycheck, since I was 15.

Rosanna Pansino

#6. I've always been melancholic. At a party, everyone would be looking at the glittering chandeliers and I'd be looking at the waitress's cracked shoes.

Marian Keyes

#7. When my parents met, my mother was a waitress and my father was a dockyard worker. They were part of that post-war better-yourself generation, so they both went to night school.

Alison Owen

#8. Working for several years as a waitress, you learn really quickly a couple of default scripts, so you know exactly what the interaction is going to be when the person sits down at the table.

Ann Leckie

#9. And can you get this girl something with a laxative effect?" I add to the waitress, refusing to spare Sophie a glance as I slide my menu back into place. "My treat. I just can't stand to see someone so full of shit, you know? Especially when her boyfriend keeps feeding her more of it.

Dahlia Adler

#10. Refills are free, the waitress tells us with a frown, like she's hoping we're not the kind of people who ask for endless refills. I am already pretty sure we are exactly those people.

Holly Black

#11. A sacred picture of Saint Anthony alone is one vertical, unwavering band of light. If a cockroach were near him, or a cocktail waitress, the picture would be two such bands of light. Our awareness is all that is alive and maybe sacred in any of us. Everything else about us is just dead machinery.

Kurt Vonnegut

#12. Along the way, I've worked as a waitress, I've done phone surveys, and worked as a receptionist, and for the last twenty years I've taught. When I was an actor, the key was to find a job that kept your days free to audition.

Debra Dean

#13. Women were beyond me.
they saw something
depraved.
there was one waitress
a little older than
I, she rather smiled,
lingered when she
brought my
coffee.
that was plenty for
me, that was
enough.
- Young in New Orleans

Charles Bukowski

#14. We settled in a booth at Bishop's 4th Street Diner, an aging silver zeppelin on the rotary outside the naval base, grungy and stuffed with Betty Boop tchotchkes in the windows. The waitress greeted Abbass familiarly and promptly took her order: a hamburger, rare, and fries.

Marilyn Johnson

#15. My first waitress job was at Johnny Rockets in New Jersey, and then I waited tables at a sports bar.

Melissa Rauch

#16. If I only did theatre I would have had to waitress, and I didn't want to waitress.

Kim Cattrall

#17. I love people and want to be good to people. If I'm in restaurant and somebody doesn't treat a waitress right, I literally will leave. I will unfriend you. You are not my friend anymore.

Kristen Stewart

#18. I got an emergency leave. I visited my dad on his deathbed. His last words to me: "Try to pick up every waitress who serves you.

James Ellroy

#19. Who's to say I'm not an entirely different person? Because I am. You have to understand, five years ago I was a waitress.

Lady Gaga

#20. I wanted to be a landscape architect, but I trained as a teacher; I worked in publishing; I was a waitress.

Deborah Moggach

#21. Aunt Bette." I started squirming toward her voice. "Are you okay?" "No, I'm not okay. We've been kidnapped and Marsh is drinking martinis and probably flirting with the waitress!" she snapped, and it sounded like she too was moving but not in my direction.

Kristen Ashley

#22. Kelsey was jealous of the waitress. I almost laughed. This beautiful girl was absolutely perfect for me. How could I look at another?#Ren

Colleen Houck

#23. Little closer, as if I hadn't quite heard him. I leaned at an angle five degrees less acute than the waitress had. - What's that? - I was wondering if there's a melody in there. - It just went out for a smoke. It'll be back in a minute. But I take it that you don't

Amor Towles

#24. I feel so fortunate and lucky I don't have to be a waitress or a bartender or a personal trainer.

Abbie Cobb

#25. I was working as a cocktail waitress in a heavy metal bar. Then, my manager said I should try some acting, which led to an audition Satisfaction, where I played a musician in an all-girl band. That movie is where I met my future ex-husband Jody Porter.

Britta Phillips

#26. To quote Shirley Polanski, head waitress at the Humdinger Diner: "Beware of a big man whose stomach doesn't move when he laughs."
I think a Chinese philosopher said it first, but these things trickle down to the food service community.

Joan Bauer

#27. I don't have a lot of skills, but one thing I can do is, I can compartmentalize. I can make that a little world that I can go back to, so I can be a waitress, or I can be a teacher, and then go and work on my book.

Dana Spiotta

#28. My mother and father had so many ups and downs and stayed with each other and helped each other. My mother took in ironing and she was a waitress. My father was working in the factory and he did people's tax returns.

Patti Smith

#29. The waitress looked a little awkward. "Is all that for both you and your sister?

J.R. Ward

#30. I'm probably a lot closer than perhaps the contents of my early fiction suggest to a jaded Denny's waitress with smoker's-lung-black humor than a ghost hunter.

Karen Russell

#31. I couldn't stand was Buddy's pretending I was so sexy and he was so pure, when all the time he'd been having an affair with that tarty waitress and must have felt like laughing in my face.

Sylvia Plath

#32. I'd probably be famous now if I wasn't such a good waitress.

Jane Siberry

#33. The postman wants an autograph. The cab driver wants a picture. The waitress wants a handshake. Everyone wants a piece of you.

John Lennon

#34. I staggered into a Manchester bar late one night on a tour and the waitress said "You look as if you need a Screaming Orgasm". At the time this was the last thing on my mind ...

Terry Pratchett

#35. For seven years after college, I was a waitress at the Buttercup Bakery in Berkeley, and from there I got a job at Merrill Lynch as an account executive, from where I went to vice president of investments for Prudential-Bache Securities. I started my own firm in 1987.

Suze Orman

#36. We went to lunch and were talking about procrastination and the waitress overheard us and she said, 'I have a problem with procrastination, too.' I said 'Really? ... Get my sandwich.'

Ellen DeGeneres

#37. Far as I can see, we mostly exist as *ideas* in each other's heads. The way *you* see me. The way my *boss* sees me. The way the *waitress* at Lindy's sees me.

Mike Carey

#38. I can not love you until you can love our beautiful waitress in the simple way that I do.

Derrick Brown

#39. My mother, who was a waitress, gave me white wedgies and a fresh uniform in a plain wrapper. "You'll never make it as a waitress," she said, "but I'll stake you anyway." It was her way of showing her support.

Patti Smith

#40. If the waitress has dirty ankles, the chili is good.

Al McGuire

#41. I'd played dumbasses a lot. On Mad About You, I played a very dumb waitress and they saw me.

Lisa Kudrow

#42. Yogi ordered a pizza. The waitress asked How many pieces do you want your pie cut? Yogi responded, Four. I don't think I could eat eight.

Yogi Berra

#43. As a former waitress myself, I know firsthand how a simple smile from someone can improve your day and how a single harsh word can destroy it. Being courteous and thoughtful costs you nothing and can sometimes pay you dividends in unexpected ways.

Susanna Kearsley

#44. She is a waitress at his lordships club.
My God! The Proletariat!
The lower middle classes, sir.
Well, yes, by stretching it a bit, perhaps.

P.G. Wodehouse

#45. My stand-up has always been very character-based. I'm not really the kind of person that's like, 'Hey, here's what's on my mind! Tip your waitress!' I would create the jokes based on the character I was playing. It was always a performance-based thing for me.

Mary Lynn Rajskub

#46. Inside Metro Diner, we grab a table near the back. A waitress who clearly ate a water buffalo for breakfast waddles to our table.

Victoria Scott

#47. I was never a nightclub manager or a hostess. I want to make that very clear. I was an executive at my club. I was a director of VIP operations, that's much different than a manager, that's much different than a waitress, it's different than, you know, a host - I was like an executive-level position

Rachel Uchitel

#48. Last time I was down South I walked into this restaurant, and this white waitress came up to me and said: 'We don't serve colored people here.' I said: 'that's all right, I don't eat colored people. Bring me a whole fried chicken.

Dick Gregory

#49. I took my waitress uniform. Seemed fitting.

Shiri Appleby

#50. what are you?" he asked. "I'm a waitress.

Charlaine Harris

#51. The waitress brought a fresh pot of tea, and Marty refilled his father's cup and poured a cup for Samantha. Henry in turn filled Marty's. It was a tradition Henry cherished - never filling your own cup, always filling that of someone else, who would return the favor.

Jamie Ford

#52. "You don't have to be in shape to bowl. It's the only sport where there's a way to signal for a cocktail waitress."

Robin Roberts

#53. How a person treats their waitress is a great indication of their character.

Amy Poehler

#54. I'd much rather have sat there and just been a fly on the wall, instead of having to smile at people. I'd rather have been a waitress. Just gone round and stared at people.

Jennifer Saunders

#55. If a waiter or waitress tells me when gratuity is included they automatically get more gratuity. When they hide it I go with the leg kick.

Jay Mohr

#56. I never learn. Like a waitress will bring my meal. "Hey, enjoy your meal."
"You, too. But you don't have one, do ya? I'm a dufus. If you do eat enjoy it when you eat it if you have a break or something, later. If you get an opportunity." That's all I'm trying to say.

Brian Regan

#57. I got lost a lot, and I was a really bad waitress ... I got lost on the subway.

Piper Perabo

#58. I was raised by my grandparents, and they always made sure that I had a pencil and some paper, whether we were in the car or at a restaurant. While they were enjoying a nice meal, I would be sitting there drawing funny pictures of the waitress.

Jarrett J. Krosoczka

#59. A petite, absolutely delightful waitress who, like everyone else, doesn't speak one word of English. But her smile is multilingual.

John Cameron Smith

#60. Enchantment can be done with writing but I think enchantment is basically a prospective or an operating system for life. That you can enchant a person who is assigning your airplane seat, your hotel room, your waiter, your waitress.

Guy Kawasaki

#61. I'll bet I'm as old as you are."
"I'm older than Sanskrit."
"Well, I was waitress at the Last Supper."
"I'm so old I remember when McDonald's had only sold a hundred burgers."
"You win.

Tom Robbins

#62. I never pictured myself in California. I just thought I would be a character actress in New York on the stage. I never really had that stardom goal; I just wanted to be able to work as an actress and not as a waitress.

Rhea Perlman

#63. The waitress, a plain brunette disguised as a pretty brunette...

Gillian Flynn

#64. If the waitress comes, order me a coffee and something that involves bacon.

Maggie Stiefvater

#65. My mother was a waitress in a Lyons Corner House, but she married up. She was keen on bettering herself. She taught me how to use the right knives and forks and behave properly.

Charles Dance

#66. If home is to have a greater lure than a tavern the wife must be at least as cheerful as the waitress.

Phyllis Schlafly

#67. Where, incidentally, a holiday meal was not being served. My mother worked as a waitress at Palmer's Supper

Larry Watson

#68. I think I'm a kind of a person who works hard at whatever I do, literally from being a waitress to being on television. I always try to give 110 percent to whatever it is I'm doing.

Teri Hatcher

#69. I have been waiting on her all my life. I was the waitress. Waiting on her and waiting for her. What was I waiting for? Waiting for her to step into her self or step out of her invalid self. Waiting for her to take the voyage out of her gloom, to buy a ticket to a vital life.

Deborah Levy

#70. When I was about 17, I had a row with my mother and left home for six months, renting a flat and working as a waitress for a while. I learnt you could double your earnings if you gave good, cheerful service. It taught me that in any job you can improve your lot.

Anne Robinson

#71. I walked in on my folks doing it doggy style less than four hours ago."
"Waitress!" Jonas screamed, clicking his fingers madly. "Bring two!" then, more quietly,"You want a neck massage? A bedtime story? A bullet in the ear?

MaryJanice Davidson

#72. When the waitress puts the dinner on the table, the old men look at the dinner. The young men look at the waitress.

Gelett Burgess

#73. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 40 +, there is a balding, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress.

Andy Rooney

#74. Once I cried in a restaurant because the waitress told me I couldn't eat my soup with a fork, I had to use a spoon.

Liam Payne

#75. The only honourable work my parents knew was blue-collar. But while my father Robert ran a pawnbroker's shop, and my mother was a waitress, I moved into a middle-class world with a level of security they never knew.

Norman Foster

#76. You can't come out of drama school and think, 'It's all going to be amazing.' You have to expect to work in a bar for at least five years and be a waitress for maybe two!

Emilia Clarke

#77. In my heart I'm just a lucky waitress.

Denise Mina

#78. The waitress brought me another drink. She wanted to light my hurricane lamp again. I wouldn't let her.
"Can you see anything in the dark, with your sunglasses on?" she asked me.
"The big show is inside my head," I said.

Kurt Vonnegut

#79. I was a waitress. I was pretty good at it. I liked to solve those puzzles-you know, when to put the dinner order in, that sort of thing.

Catherine Keener

#80. Caro, you're a pretty girl, but I'd no sooner fuck a good waitress than I'd key my own car

Kelly Braffet

#81. I've been a single parent for a long time. It reminds me of being a waitress. As you walk back to the kitchen, requests come at you from all sides. You're doing the job of two - you have to be highly organised.

Cherie Lunghi

#82. Waitress: "And to drink?"
Artemis: "Spring water. Irish, if you have it. And no ice, please. As your ice is no doubt made from tap water, which rather defeats the purpose of spring water.

Eoin Colfer

#83. I was a coat checker, a dishwasher, a waitress, and those were some of the happiest times of my life because I still got to do my writing. You're lucky when you can work and then do your art.

Sophie B. Hawkins

#84. I was very poor and I was a waitress, and it's hard to be a poor waitress in New York.

Kristin Davis

#85. Being a waitress can be a very brutal job sometimes, and I remember during the training, the person said to me, "The redder the lips, the better the tips," and that was like the only advice she gave me.

Brit Marling

#86. I kind of wanted to be a waitress in New York City. I thought it was fun and glamorous in its own way. Like in the movie 'Beaches,' when Bette Midler is banging on the radiator, and it's cold, and she's poor. I kind of thought that would be fun to be, like, a poor, struggling actor.

Kether Donohue

#87. Do you know who I am?" (Cassidy)
"Cassidy Summers, approximately thirty-years-old and a waitress who isn't sure who the father of her child really is." (Ashling)

Rosetta M. Overman

#88. I mean, its hard to be an actor in the city - trying to make it as an actor - because you waitress all night, you get home really late and you're super tired and your feet hurt.

Piper Perabo

#89. Now, as an adult, I appreciate those memories. Mom taught me the importance of compassion for your waitress, your crossing guard, your mailman.

Cate Edwards

#90. I wasn't a very good waitress, always spilling things on people and forgetting things. I once spilled ashes all over Mike Wallace's table.

Tracy Pollan

#91. The waitress had the appearance of a very old hooker who had finally found her place in life

Hunter S. Thompson

#92. A waitress, bringing Finkler more hot water, interrupted Treslove's answer. Finkler always asked for more hot water no matter how much hot water had already been brought. It was his way of asserting power, Treslove thought. No doubt Nietzsche, too, ordered more hot water than he needed.

Howard Jacobson

#93. The waitress returns, cutting into possibly the most bizarre
way a pregnancy can be announced. At a Mexican restaurant. With a tequila shot
standoff. In French

Krista Ritchie

#94. Whaddaya want?" growled Viola, our small, surly, octogenarian waitress.
What did I want? A job. A clue. A love.
"Two coffees," Len answered for me.
Coffee would do for now, I guess.

Megan McCafferty

#95. My mom was a waitress, and my dad was a plumber who worked for the City of San Clemente fixing mains breaks, so not too glamorous.

Shaun White

#96. Once a waitress, always a waitress.

Sandra Bullock

#97. If I'm not good enough because I'm a waitress, don't settle for me, don't sink down to my level. You don't deserve anything I have to offer. Let that shit hurt for a hot minute, simmer in it then leave me the fuck alone.

Christine Zolendz

#98. Eve: "Yo! Mocha!"
Oliver: "Yo. I am not your waitress.

Rachel Caine

#99. If you do not smile, you are judged lacking in a 'pleasing personality' - and you need to have a pleasing personality if you want to sell your services, whether as a waitress, a salesman, or a physician.

Erich Fromm

#100. You know that feeling when you're at your favorite restaurant and you see the waitress coming with your food, that happy feeling that slides down your spine? Find the girl that gives you that same feeling. And marry her.

Shelly Crane