The Funniest Quotes

#1. I'd love to do a film with Mariah. But it would have to be a comedy. She's the funniest woman in the world, she just cracks me up all the time.

Nick Cannon

#2. I have a fantastic husband. Here's the honeymoon part: I still think he's the funniest, wittiest, most clever man I've ever known.

Sarah Jessica Parker

#3. The best shows to tweet about are the ones that are hilarious, but they might not necessarily be trying to be hilarious. Those are the easiest and the funniest because you're like 'come onnnn.'

Retta

#4. I can't stand girls who laugh at everything I say like I'm the funniest guy in the world. I like girls who tell it like it is, no kissing up to me because I'm on TV.

Jeremy London

#5. I mean, I find things that happened in real life to be the funniest - things that you observe instead of crazy abstract things, you know.

Jonah Hill

#6. You know what the funniest thing about Europe is? It's the little differences.

Quentin Tarantino

#7. As far as stand-ups go, I always loved Richard Pryor, Chris Rock, and Sinbad. Basically, I love black comedians because they're the funniest. I wish I were a black comedian, actually.

Adam DeVine

#8. I think we grew up thinking that the funniest things on TV were the old, serious movies. I always liked the Marx Brothers, but the thing that always made us laugh were movies like Zero Hour. That's what inspired us.

David Zucker

#9. The funniest people are the saddest ones

Confucius

#10. When you do a movie as opposed to a TV show, it's always tempting to think everything has to be big and exaggerated and spectacular. And in fact, a lot of the funniest comedy films have been very intimate.

Armando Iannucci

#11. My dad is one of the funniest people I know. He's the sort of man who can make you laugh just by reading out of a telephone directory ... He's a spastic.

Frankie Boyle

#12. My kids are the funniest two human beings there are.

Kevin Hart

#13. I remember when I got my first Adam Sandler CD and it was the funniest thing I'd ever heard in my entire life, and continues to be.

Seth Rogen

#14. Perhaps the funniest example is that of the Rev. Milton Barfoot, who said to Dan's brother, in apparently honest bafflement, "But, isn't Dan afraid of hell?" No, Reverend, Dan doesn't believe in hell anymore, that's one of the things about being an atheist, you see.

Dan Barker

#15. I like drama as well. When I played Hamlet, I got one review that said, "This must surely be the funniest Hamlet in history," but schoolgirls would still cry when he died.

Jason Gann

#16. 'I'll sit on him,' Otis says and laughs like it's the funniest thing in the world. He twirls a small ball of fire in one hand and a Desert Eagle .50 Caliber in the other. If Seven didn't know him, he'd probably be running away as fast as he could. It's a big gun.

T.J. Klune

#17. My brother was an improviser. He's now a lobbyist, but he used to perform improv in the city when he was in high school, and one of the funniest guys I know to this day.

Jake Johnson

#18. Will Arnett is one of the funniest guys I know. He has seen it all and done it all and come out the other end pretty savvy and pretty strong.

Jason Bateman

#19. Cartoons are the best stuff on TV. 'Wonder Showzen,' 'Aqua Teen,' 'SpongeBob,' and, of course, 'South Park' - one of the funniest shows ever made.

Akiva Schaffer

#20. What's the funniest play ever written? I used to think it was 'Noises Off,' but now that I've seen 'The Liar,' I'm not so sure.

Terry Teachout

#21. The embarrassment of a situation can, once you are over it, be the funniest time in your life. And I suppose a lot of my comedy comes from painful moments or experiences in life, and you just flip them on their head.

Miranda Hart

#22. The funniest thing about comedy is that you never know why people laugh. I know what makes them laugh but trying to get your hands on the why of it is like trying to pick an eel out of a tub of water.

W.C. Fields

#23. Attraction and chemistry don't follow any logical rules. You're not the prettiest girl I've ever met, nor the smartest, nor the funniest. But you are the girl I've altered a peace treaty for, and you are the girl I'm spending the evening with.

Laura Thalassa

#24. You're the funniest thing she knows. That's why she always draws you in color.

Fredrik Backman

#25. Some of the funniest things are just situations in life that are funny. The way people interact. People describing their first kiss with someone, to me, is really funny. When someone goes into detail about each moment of that, I really find that enjoyable to listen to.

Nathan Fielder

#26. 'Blazing Saddles' is one of the funniest movies ever made.

Adam McKay

#27. Who knew Rob Lowe was funny? On 'Parks and Rec,' we've got some of the funniest comedy writers, some of the funniest comedians in the world working there. And if anything, we don't just effuse to one another and be like, 'Oh, Rob Lowe's really funny,' if he wasn't.

Chris Pratt

#28. Especially with a comedy, you've got the clear cut goal of trying to make a scene funny. It's not like drama where you're trying to achieve some kind of emotion or trying to further the story along. You're trying to figure out what's the funniest way to do something.

Luke Wilson

#29. Betty White is a riot. She is a good time! That is the bottom line: Betty White is a good time. She is really an incredible woman. She is so kind. She doesn't have one mean bone in her body, and she is the funniest woman in the room always. And you'll never hear one complaint from her.

Odette Annable

#30. As in, I think 'Badlands' is one of the funniest films of all time: 'Every day I wish I was carried off to a magical land, but that never happened' is one of the funniest lines in any film.

Richard Ayoade

#31. I'm shooting in Brooklyn, we've got all kinds of crap going on, and I'm all alone now in a big hotel suite that you can't believe the size of it and a thing sticks in my foot and I just think it's the funniest thing that's ever happened to me.

Danny DeVito

#32. I'm tired of being the funniest person in the room.

Del Close

#33. Alan Zweibel is the funniest writer in the world. He might be even funnier when he's naked, but I'm afraid to find out.

Dave Barry

#34. The funniest thing people say to me: "I wish I had your life". Hello! I make a living writing about it.

Daniel Marques

#35. And, of course, the funniest food of all, kumquats.

George Carlin

#36. It's superficial that people think I'm cool because I wear certain clothes and I have tattoos. The funniest part is, when they get to know me, they're always surprised by how nerdy I am.

Zoe Kravitz

#37. I'm not the comic of the generation, I'm not even the funniest guy in my family.

Dave Attell

#38. Some of the funniest moments I've ever experienced have been in the midst of tragic situations in my life.

Sarah Polley

#39. We have to agree beforehand to divide the funniest lines between us. But Tina [Fey] is so brilliant that I just love every moment working with her and also just hanging out together as friends.

Amy Poehler

#40. 'The Office' is clearly the funniest show on TV. But I can't live without watching 'Eureka.' It's my favorite show of all time, and I watch it constantly on my iPod.

Matthew Underwood

#41. He's the funniest, smartest person I know. It doesn't mean he doesn't bug me and I'm sure I bug him sometimes.

Sarah Jessica Parker

#42. I know it's a cliche, but the whole family is just whacked. I mean, we're all out of our minds. They're the funniest, most eccentric bizarre people I've ever met, my siblings.

Dana Carvey

#43. The older ones recently saw Mr and Mrs Smith and I think they thought that was the funniest thing they'd ever seen because, of course, watching your parents fight as spies is some strange sort of childhood fantasy.

Angelina Jolie

#44. The funniest racism is the racism between minorities. It's something you don't see dramatized, but almost every minority I know who's my age, they have these funny stories about their parents stereotyping other minorities.

Mindy Kaling

#45. We have tons of live performances that we're putting on there. We have music videos. There's a music video for the song called I Am Jesus what is one of the funniest music videos, like we just could not find a place for it in the movie, but it's like crazy funny. And we have the whole video.

Nicholas Stoller

#46. It makes it really hard to just go to a dinner party because, in my work life, I'm surrounded by the funniest people, ever. I'm really spoiled. I laugh a lot, in my day.

Jenna Fischer

#47. The funniest thing about some people is that they have no sense of humor.

Ashleigh Brilliant

#48. Clarabelle laughed like she'd just heard the funniest thing ever. Of course you HOPE you won't die, Valkyrie! Who would HOPE to die? That's just SILLY! But you probably WILL die, that's what I'm saying. Don't you think so?

Derek Landy

#49. Dude, estoy aqui por loco, no por pendejo, which was the punch line to the funniest Spanish joke I knew. Okay, the only one. Google it.

Cory Doctorow

#50. I love Charlie, Billy Burke's character. Writing for him is so spectacular, he's so funny and wry and every scene he's in he just takes. There's a scene in 'Eclipse' where Bella tells him she's a virgin, and it's the funniest, most awkward scene I've ever seen on film.

Melissa Rosenberg

#51. There are certain episodes that on the page I thought, "Oh boy, this is going to be the funniest episode." And there are other ones that went in, fingers crossed, saying, "Oh well, let's hope something good comes out of it." Oftentimes, those ones wind up being the best ones.

Charlie Day

#52. Nancy Cartwright here in this School has written the funniest paper on scientific method ever, by taking the average advice from all the books about scientific method, and they are extreme banalities

Bruno Latour

#53. Humor does depend on surprise, and the things that people remember as the funniest things in the world, you look at later and you go, "What? What was that all about?"

Matt Groening

#54. I thought she was the funniest woman, and I believed being a comedian was the most exciting thing you could be.

Maya Rudolph

#55. It is imperative that a woman keep her sense of humor intact and at the ready. She must see, even if only in secret, that she is the funniest, looniest woman in her world, which she should also see as being the most absurd world of all times.

Maya Angelou

#56. To me some of the funniest movies would be probably categorized in the dramatic genre, and likewise some of the most dramatic films, or films that have the most dramatic moments, are in comedies.

Paul Rudd

#57. I need to be spontaneous sometimes. Sometimes I find that the little detail or nuance that you add to it that's based on what's happening at the time that's not very rehearsed often ends up feeling like the funniest thing.

Thomas Lennon

#58. It's hard when I get to the end of the movie and am held hostage and am supposed to be very upset and the funniest things I've ever heard in my life are coming out. All I can do is pretend there's something really important behind me to hide my face from it.

Brie Larson

#59. Id like to acknowledge three people who early on knew Mel Brooks was one of the funniest people in the world: Sid Caesar, me, and Mel Brooks.

Carl Reiner

#60. Norm MacDonald is here - one of the funniest people ever. Norm's got a giant gambling problem. He's dropped more coin in a casino than Michael J. Fox at a parking meter.

Greg Giraldo

#61. The one I remember is going into London, as it was for us in Essex, on New Year's Eve in 1981. There were four of us and we'd had a few lagers on the way. One of my mates threw up in the Tube and then stood up and fell over in it. We thought it was the funniest thing we'd ever seen.

Alan Davies

#62. Anyone in the comedy world knows that Horatio Sanz and Chris Parnell are two of the funniest guys around.

Adam McKay

#63. Johnston's books are beautifully written and among the funniest I have ever read.

Annie Dillard

#64. You learn, even at 'S.N.L.,' that the funniest scripts a lot of the time were written with the actor, because they know what makes people laugh. It's always going to be better if they own it.

Akiva Schaffer

#65. I suppose I would like to be remembered as one of the funniest men that people have seen on television.

Ronnie Barker

#66. Sometimes the best ways aren't always the easiest and the hardest ways aren't always the funniest ways but if you really loved him then you push though all boundaries

Laini Hammond

#67. Some people would say comedy draws from some dark places, from your dark stuff. Life's great optimists aren't necessarily the funniest people.

Colin Firth

#68. My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest joke in the world.

George Bernard Shaw

#69. It's sad being the funniest person you know.

Grea Alexander

#70. At Murry Bergtraum [High School] if you were really funny you sat at this table at with all of the funniest dudes, the toughest, the coolest - everybody sat at that table. It was like the ghetto Algonquin Round Table. [Comedy] was my entry, my membership card.

John Leguizamo

#71. The funniest part of that joke is, 'say what you will about Hitler'.
-to Ricky Gervais on Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee

Jerry Seinfeld

#72. Handling a painful situation in a comedic way is truly the funniest. That is extremely real to me and not kind of clownish. There is a thin line though; you can't overdo it.

Will Ferrell

#73. Everyone has at least one story, and each of us is funny if we admit it. You have to admit you're the funniest person you've ever heard of.

Maya Angelou

#74. You can't do anything to be funny. That's cringeworthy. If your humor comes out of a place of love every time, you don't make the joke bigger than you. The funniest comedians are in touch with their emotional level.

John Krasinski

#75. Sometimes the funniest people don't know that they're funny - like the administrators in my high school.

Vanessa Bayer

#76. The funniest thing is when somebody says "Look I've no idea who you are but my friend said you are on a show and I just wanted to introduce myself" you know that they are lying! Those people can just get out of my way.

Matthew Perry

#77. My father was the funniest man I ever met. He made Redd Foxx look like an undertaker.

Henry Louis Gates

#78. I think the funniest stuff comes from the heaviest stuff.

Bill Maher

#79. The funniest thing is that now I know what reverse spam is. You know you get spam from people saying, 'Can you invest in this or that?' People are now e-mailing me saying, 'Oh my God, can I invest in your company?' It's a reverse solicitation of money.

Jefferson Han

#80. The political arena is the funniest.They [politicians] are always pretending to change, but they never change. They're the best actors and actresses in the world. They've always been hilarious since the beginning of time.

Paul Mooney

#81. I'd be nothing without my wife. She's the coolest. She's the greatest. She is the smartest. She's the funniest. I love her so much. She's like the - it's like your best friend for the rest of your life.

Jimmy Fallon

#82. I was asked about doing a nude shoot for men's magazine GQ. I thought it was the funniest thing I'd ever heard.

Julie Walters

#83. I've been acting for many years now, and I find there's nothing I enjoy more than making films with my friends and people I like, who also are the funniest people around.

James Franco

#84. My mum said to me once years ago, which really spurred me on, 'You're the funniest person I know'. I loved that.

Miranda Hart

#85. A little while back, I won a couple of contests and was crowned the Funniest Kid Comic in all of New York. Not just New York City, but the whole state!

James Patterson

#86. I think that music at inappropriate times with inappropriate volumes can be the funniest thing ever.

Ed Helms

#87. The funniest guy I've ever worked with - it's just one of those things, again, where we look at each other and just laugh - is Jimmy Byrnes from 'Wiseguy.' Jimmy - we can't be in the same room together. He knows he can make me laugh just by looking at me.

Jonathan Banks

#88. Racing Stripes was so much fun to do. It's one of the funniest movies I've seen in a couple years.

Bruce Greenwood

#89. When you're not involved, other people's unhappiness seems to be about the funniest damn thing on earth because you think you can solve it, that you are God, that you are above this, and that their unhappiness is just such useless toil and agony. If it's you, it ceases to be a comedy.

Barry Hannah

#90. And, of course, the funniest food: "kumquats". I don't even bring them home anymore. I sit there laughing and they go to waste.

George Carlin

#91. What was the funniest thing you ever saw your children do?

Vincent Staniforth

#92. The funniest things are the forbidden.

Mark Twain

#93. Having this lovely person in my life. My daughter is the funniest person I know and I couldn't imagine my life without her. I think it also starts an amazing journey in a woman. You don't obsess about yourself in the way you used to, as the bulk of your time isn't spent on you.

Donna Air

#94. I've always worried a lot. And frankly I'm good at it." The late Erma Bombeck, one of the funniest women ever.

Catherine Robertson

#95. Ty Burrell could be one of the funniest people on the planet. I'd love to meet him.

Brooke Elliott

#96. My life is like an O Henry story ... the funniest girl in the world and the boy who never laughs.

Rainbow Rowell

#97. The funniest thing is that all the things every director goes through, I thought I could shortcut, but there was no getting around those issues.

George Clooney

#98. We were a very funny family. Humour was the tool with which my brother and I tried to get attention. We were always trying to be the funniest.

Meg Cabot

#99. Well, Jen and Josh are the two funniest people on set. They're absolutely insane. If you put them together, it's just a disaster, But, I mean, it's so much fun! They're both probably the funniest people on set.

Willow Shields

#100. Everything I am, everything I've been allowed to do, career-wise, has come out of the opportunity I had with 'Cheers'. I think it's one of the funniest shows ever. They are some of my best friends.

Ted Danson