Top 66 Stephan Pastis Quotes

#1. I put Post-It notes everywhere to remind me of everything. I stick a ton of them on my computer monitor, telephone, and wallet. The problem now is that there are so many of them that my mind has blocked them all out. So I now need Post-It notes to remind me to look at my Post-It notes.

Stephan Pastis

Stephan Pastis Quotes #7484
#2. I don't like drawing characters facing right. If I tried to do that at a book signing, I'd have to pencil it first.

Stephan Pastis

Stephan Pastis Quotes #18021
#3. I know that if I am to move forward like the professional that I am, I must first see the past with mature eyes. And that means acknowledging that others have caused all my problems and blaming them for it.

Stephan Pastis

Stephan Pastis Quotes #25490
#4. Humility is what you strive for when you've failed at everything else.

Stephan Pastis

Stephan Pastis Quotes #98763
#5. I'm very harsh on real estate agents. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because of how the call every small house 'charming' and every run-down house a 'great fixer-upper'. Just once, I'd like them to show me a house and declare, 'This one's a piece of crap'.

Stephan Pastis

Stephan Pastis Quotes #100365
#6. If a restaurant offers crayons, I always take them and color throughout the meal. It beats talking to the people I came to dinner with.

Stephan Pastis

Stephan Pastis Quotes #131218
#7. I want a career writing these novels that I can be proud of. And then I want one as a screenwriter.

Stephan Pastis

Stephan Pastis Quotes #133343
#8. Perhaps it is a secret yearning of all Hallmark employees to use the phrase 'you big fat pain in the butt' in an anniversary card.

Stephan Pastis

Stephan Pastis Quotes #147235
#9. I guess that compared to other comic strips, I'm edgy. But put me along something like 'South Park,' and I'm 'Captain Kangaroo.'

Stephan Pastis

Stephan Pastis Quotes #217651
#10. Gary Larson: The funniest cartoonist I've ever seen. His two-volume set (The Complete Far Side) should be the textbook in any course taught on how to be funny on the comics page.

Stephan Pastis

Stephan Pastis Quotes #255229
#11. Me no read. Look how smart me is.

Stephan Pastis

Stephan Pastis Quotes #329807
#12. If you put me in 'South Park,' that audience is going to fall asleep in five minutes.

Stephan Pastis

Stephan Pastis Quotes #360484
#13. When I say 'friends,' I use that term loosely, as I don't actually have any.

Stephan Pastis

Stephan Pastis Quotes #360660
#14. I was a lawyer for 10 years, and when you're in law, things really have to get done, or somebody sues you. It's a great trick.

Stephan Pastis

Stephan Pastis Quotes #382431
#15. If you're from a certain generation, you basically learn to read with 'Peanuts.' It's sort of the template for the modern strip. Its influence ceased to be noticed because it's in everything.

Stephan Pastis

Stephan Pastis Quotes #393276
#16. I never feel burdened or overwhelmed by my work. People tell you to find something you love for a career, and I have. That makes me feel very lucky.

Stephan Pastis

Stephan Pastis Quotes #403414
#17. Brits have a better sense of humor in most ways. It's darker, more cutting.

Stephan Pastis

Stephan Pastis Quotes #429062
#18. Stupid people and their stupid people ways!

Stephan Pastis

Stephan Pastis Quotes #429939
#19. Basically, I learned to read by reading 'Peanuts,' just wanting to know what they were saying.

Stephan Pastis

Stephan Pastis Quotes #431061
#20. You act like a team player,you be nice to everyone for your entire life,then you die.

Stephan Pastis

Stephan Pastis Quotes #471216
#21. I like characters who have blind spots and are full of themselves, but there also needs to be vulnerability.

Stephan Pastis

Stephan Pastis Quotes #473945
#22. I know I can always draw, but I actually love the writing the most.

Stephan Pastis

Stephan Pastis Quotes #487055
#23. It seems so absurd to get really mad with a cartoonist over a comic strip. It's sort of like getting in a fight with a circus clown outside your house. It's not going to end well.

Stephan Pastis

Stephan Pastis Quotes #490118
#24. I don't pay that much attention to sales figures or awards. To me, the big question is: 'Did you influence the next generation?' That's my goal.

Stephan Pastis

Stephan Pastis Quotes #492562
#25. Most poetry just confounds me. I really want to like it, but I can't help thinking it's a hoax. (p. 24)

Stephan Pastis

Stephan Pastis Quotes #520579
#26. I'm 12 years old in my head.

Stephan Pastis

Stephan Pastis Quotes #532706
#27. Repeats are the worst, and 'Peanuts' was the one that started that. They don't rerun the news, do they? They don't repeat any other part of the paper. Why do they do it in the comics?

Stephan Pastis

Stephan Pastis Quotes #574444
#28. The phrase 'I just turn on my monkey and it makes me feel good' sounds very dirty, but I can't explain why. It's great to try to use expressions like that on the comics page. People want to complain but they can't, because they can't figure out quite what they should be complaining about.

Stephan Pastis

Stephan Pastis Quotes #583872
#29. Having a syndicated comic strip is a great platform for ripping on expressions you hate.

Stephan Pastis

Stephan Pastis Quotes #722076
#30. The only thing I learn on a daily basis from law school is that I disliked it and the law so much that it's constantly this fire at my heels.

Stephan Pastis

Stephan Pastis Quotes #741057
#31. I think it might surprise the average person how angry people can get over the comics.

Stephan Pastis

Stephan Pastis Quotes #743431
#32. I like to make fun of Jeffy [of Family Circus] the most, because I know the grown-up Jeff Keane personally and enjoy ridiculing him.

Stephan Pastis

Stephan Pastis Quotes #747011
#33. My wife Staci made me go to a wedding last weekend ... If it weren't for her, I'd be happy.

Stephan Pastis

Stephan Pastis Quotes #750148
#34. To get syndicated as a comic strip artist is as likely as winning the lottery.

Stephan Pastis

Stephan Pastis Quotes #846079
#35. I like characters like Ignatius Reilly in 'A Confederacy of Dunces' and Ricky Gervais's character in 'The Office.' They think one thing about themselves, but the truth is as far from that as it can be. So I began to think about how to put that kind of character in a book for kids.

Stephan Pastis

Stephan Pastis Quotes #890326
#36. Ohhhhkay... say again but slooooowly.

Stephan Pastis

Stephan Pastis Quotes #892396
#37. On the list of things I cannot draw, wedding dresses are right there next to cars.

Stephan Pastis

Stephan Pastis Quotes #900027
#38. I write for three or four hours and then hopefully I'll have something. Then I draw for the rest of the afternoon ... I literally block out Wednesday-Thursday-Friday - I more or less disappear.

Stephan Pastis

Stephan Pastis Quotes #958858
#39. You can't just count on becoming a syndicated cartoonist. I actually tried to calculate the odds once, and the best I could come up with is a 1-in-36,000 chance. And the odds of getting hit by lightning are 1 in 7,900 - which kind of shows how long those odds are.

Stephan Pastis

Stephan Pastis Quotes #991925
#40. A biscuit in the States is something you would put gravy on with dinner, and it's not sweet in the least!

Stephan Pastis

Stephan Pastis Quotes #1001401
#41. Everyone cites [Charles Schulz], but it's with good reason. He taught me timing, tone, character development, practically everything.

Stephan Pastis

Stephan Pastis Quotes #1119025
#42. A stand-up comedian faces the audiences and gets their immediate feedback. I hide behind the comic strip, and unless people write to me, I don't know what they think.

Stephan Pastis

Stephan Pastis Quotes #1141182
#43. The wonderful thing about a book is that you have a canvas that is 300 pages wide, and it's all free space. You can make a piece of art as big as you want and whatever shape you want.

Stephan Pastis

Stephan Pastis Quotes #1189855
#44. I want to shake things up like 'Bloom County' did.

Stephan Pastis

Stephan Pastis Quotes #1239851
#45. When in doubt, give a character big, blown-up eyes and puffy lips.

Stephan Pastis

Stephan Pastis Quotes #1309877
#46. You can write a little and can draw a little, but there's necessarily a limitation on both in a comic strip, since it appears in such a tiny space.

Stephan Pastis

Stephan Pastis Quotes #1373501
#47. When you can't draw chameleons and you can't draw blenders, it's a bad idea to write strips where chameleons become blenders.

Stephan Pastis

Stephan Pastis Quotes #1387577
#48. A comic strip has a rhythm and a pattern, and you got to get in and out quick. So you set up a joke, tell the joke, and done.

Stephan Pastis

Stephan Pastis Quotes #1396097
#49. I do what makes me laugh.

Stephan Pastis

Stephan Pastis Quotes #1402909
#50. Repeats are the absolute soul-crushing killers of the comics page.

Stephan Pastis

Stephan Pastis Quotes #1406777
#51. This is every creative person's dream - a hobby that I'm lucky enough to get paid for.

Stephan Pastis

Stephan Pastis Quotes #1448177
#52. The writing is done on the computer, and the drawing is done by hand. I write, write, write, then I hit the illustration.

Stephan Pastis

Stephan Pastis Quotes #1479690
#53. I seem to be able to get away with pun strips if I add a panel at the end where I somehow indicate that I know it's a bad pun.

Stephan Pastis

Stephan Pastis Quotes #1493818
#54. Whenever I see people with their collars up, I'm tempted to point it out to them like you would for someone who has a food stain on their shirt or food in their teeth, as if to say, 'Your fashion sense is so offensive I'm assuming it's some sort of accident you'll want to fix.

Stephan Pastis

Stephan Pastis Quotes #1639983
#55. The principles of comedy are the principles of comedy. I can hear funny.

Stephan Pastis

Stephan Pastis Quotes #1684883
#56. We need more cartoonists to truly retire when they retire, and not run repeats.

Stephan Pastis

Stephan Pastis Quotes #1695676
#57. When people bore me, I close my eyes and try to remember the order the Seven Dwarfs marched in. But it's not always the dwarfs I think about. Sometimes aI try to list all of the Canadian provinces.

Stephan Pastis

Stephan Pastis Quotes #1705414
#58. For me, going to Minneapolis is like going to Mecca.

Stephan Pastis

Stephan Pastis Quotes #1711269
#59. It's best to love your family as you would a Siberian tiger-from a distance, preferably separated by bars.

Stephan Pastis

Stephan Pastis Quotes #1720273
#60. Scott Adams: From him, I learned how to write a three-panel comic. Probably the best pure writer on the comics page.

Stephan Pastis

Stephan Pastis Quotes #1766007
#61. If somebody is not on the same page with me humor wise, I can't give them that.

Stephan Pastis

Stephan Pastis Quotes #1819894
#62. Man, I put myself in a lot of comic strips. Something's wrong with my sense of self.

Stephan Pastis

Stephan Pastis Quotes #1822554
#63. Eternal condemnation is the key to selling doorknobs.

Stephan Pastis

Stephan Pastis Quotes #1844249
#64. One funny image can sometimes save an otherwise mediocre strip. At least that's what I tell myself so I don't feel quite as crappy when I've just wasted four hours drawing and coloring a Sunday strip.

Stephan Pastis

Stephan Pastis Quotes #1849501
#65. I have days where the only words I say are to the person making my sandwich at the grocery store.

Stephan Pastis

Stephan Pastis Quotes #1869254
#66. Sticking to my schedule, I've gotten over seven months ahead, which allowed me to write a 'Pearls Before Swine' movie script for the big screen.

Stephan Pastis

Stephan Pastis Quotes #1875459

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