Paul Neilan Quotes

#1. And when they start talking, and they always do, you find that each of them has a story they want to tell. Everyone, no matter how old or young, has some lesson they want to teach. And I sit there and listen and learn all about life from people who have no idea how to live it.

Paul Neilan

#2. The world is your oyster ...
... too bad you're allergic to shellfish.

Paul Neilan

#3. I'd never actually talked to a deaf person before but I'd been swimming and gotten water stuck in my ears lots of times, felt that underwater silence as I shook my head and watched people's mouths moving without hearing the words, so I knew what it was like for her. I could empathize.

Paul Neilan

#4. I hate bananas. I just hate them. But I also think a banana suit is the funniest fruit costume a person can wear.

Paul Neilan

#5. Whenever I'm leaving I get sentimental for that nostalgia I know I won't have the next day.

Paul Neilan

#6. In the long term everyone traffics in foregone conclusions, and in the short term they just get drunk. This is the way it has always been. Some half-assed ambiguity masquerading as mystery is all anybody's really looking for.

Paul Neilan

#7. There are chickens, there are eggs, there are deaf girls singing karaoke. Nothing makes sense anymore.

Paul Neilan

#8. It's like someone who prays every night saying God's a good listener. Just because you're talking to us doesn't mean we're listening. With me and God, you never really know.

Paul Neilan

#9. It's real hard to come off as even slightly superior when you're living a Tom and Jerry episode.

Paul Neilan

#10. Nobody knows how to just shut the fuck up and look out the window anymore.

Paul Neilan

#11. It takes more than one kick in the pants to reverse a lifetime of unplanned apathy.

Paul Neilan

#12. I was just being honest and descriptive." "No, you were being an asshole." "It's not my fault they have to always be the same thing.

Paul Neilan

#13. She was the sadistic older brother who holds you down and slaps your forehead over and over again, lets a string of spit fall until it almost hits your face and then slurps it up, over and over again. Only this older brother was fucking me. I'm telling mom.

Paul Neilan

#14. I never wanted to be Mickey Rourke. I don't think he did either.

Paul Neilan

#15. Cowardice, when done correctly, can be its own kind of bravery.

Paul Neilan

#16. If stealing a few saltshakers was wrong I didn't want to be right.

Paul Neilan

#17. Sitting on my stool I thought of a bumper sticker: If Mean People Suck, Why Isn't My Dick In Your Mouth?

Paul Neilan

#18. Lying to other people is fine and usually funny, but lying to yourself is tacky.

Paul Neilan

#19. It was nice of her to want to believe the best about me. People tend to do that with the strangers they're fucking. If she wanted to think that apathy and independence were the same thing, good for her. Maybe she was right.

Paul Neilan

#20. Anybody can make something up and have it sound believable. The hard part is remembering all the lies you've told, and all the people you've told them to, and then living the lies that have become your life.

Paul Neilan

#21. If Tolstoy were alive today and working at Panopticon Insurance, he'd say that all insurance companies are the same, then throw himself through an eighteenth story window and plunge to his death in a hail of glass and shattered dignity (70).

Paul Neilan

#22. He had strawberry blond hair. That's enough right there. That's all you need to know. If you're a man with strawberry blond hair and you're not in the circus or a Viking, odds are you have not found your place in life and never will.

Paul Neilan