The Ex Quotes

#1. An ex-wife is a woman with a crick in the neck from looking back over her shoulder at her matrimony.

Ursula Parrott

#2. Sarah Palin is a figure of fun on the American left, easily lampooned as a know-nothing, gun-toting ex-beauty queen who loves God and the red, white and blue above pretty much anything else except for Todd, her macho husband, who races snowmobiles across the Alaskan tundra.

Jay Parini

#3. If you try to send a clear signal to and call your SoulMate into your life, having unfinished business with your ex is like static on the line.

Annette Vaillancourt

#4. Any time I sit down at my laptop to write and I'm feeling lazy, or that I can't be bothered, or if I'm generally just lacking inspiration, I sit there and remember life with my ex-wife, and the words flow from my fingertips.

Shane K.P. O'Neill

#5. It was the sort of moment that a smoker would fill in with a cigarette and an ex-smoker filled in with the memory of a cigarette.

Peter Corris

#6. Do you know what I did? I urrrrrinated on the cake at my ex-wife's wedding. Pissssed all over the icing.
Melvin Baylor - Seven Up

Janet Evanovich

#7. Other CEOs were shown fly-fishing in Scottish rivers or piloting their own Learjets into Helsinki. Mr. Hosokawa was photographed at home in the leather chair he sat in when he listened, a Nansei EX-12 stereo system behind him.

Ann Patchett

#8. I'd rather sit in bed and watch TV. All of my ex-boyfriends, of course, not Paris, would be like, 'What's the problem? You're so not sexual.'

Paris Hilton

#9. John Paulk, the poster boy for 'ex-gays' was found in a gay bar in Washington. He said he was there to use the bathroom. But nobody thought to ask him for what.

Kate Clinton

#10. First you have nothing, and then, astonishingly, after ripping out your brain and your heart and betraying your friends and ex-lovers and dreaming like a zombie over the page till you can't see or hear or smell or taste, you have something.

T.C. Boyle

#11. The subject of criminal rehabilitation was debated recently in City Hall. It's an appropriate place for this kind of discussion because the city has always employed so many ex-cons and future cons.

Mike Royko

#12. Whilst lovers: to control her man, a woman uses (the man's access to) her vagina. When ex-lovers: she uses (the man's access to) their kids.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

#13. The final conflict will be between the Communists and the ex-Communists.

Ignazio Silone

#14. I glanced at Pike, but Pike was staring out the front door. Intimidating the neighborhood. I said, Maybe he mentioned a buddy who worked at a Shell Station or an ex-con he would have drinks with.

Robert Crais

#15. Violence is one way to silence people, to deny their voice and their credibility, to assert your right to control over their right to exist. About three women a day are murdered by spouses or ex-spouses in this country. It's one of the main causes of death for pregnant women in the United States. At

Rebecca Solnit

#16. They wrapped themselves in animal skins and furs which Ford Prefect acquired by a technique he once learned from a couple of ex-Pralite monks running a mind-surfing resort in the Hills of Hunian.

Douglas Adams

#17. It's cool because I think 'Ex Machina' is a little bit under the radar, which is always when I do my best work - when I feel like no one's paying attention.

Brian K. Vaughan

#18. My dad's an ex-policeman, and my mum is a sales representative, and they haven't got the acting bug. Bless them.

Olivia Cooke

#19. Former lefties can make a good living in the media by attacking their ex-comrades - I'd do it myself if the price was right.

Nick Cohen

#20. What I hate about Halle Berry is there's always drama around her. It's always fighting, automobile accidents, fistfights, boyfriends fighting ex-husbands for the child.

Donald Trump

#21. The Caucus I joined in 1953 had as many Boer War veterans as men who had seen active service in World War II, three from each. The Ministry appointed on 5 December 1972 was composed entirely of ex-servicemen: Lance Barnard and me.

Gough Whitlam

#22. My ex calls the ochre winter 'autumn' as we queue to hear dock boys play jazz fugues in velvet dark. - Broken Verses

Kamila Shamsie

#23. And was taken to the Forward Docks and a big, brightly lit hangar, where the Psychopath Class ex-Rapid Offensive Unit Frank Exchange of Views was waiting for her. Ulver laughed. 'It looks,' she snorted, 'like a dildo!' 'That's appropriate,' Churt Lyne said. 'Armed, it can fuck solar systems.

Iain M. Banks

#24. A hard core life I toast to ex flaw, therefore I live raw and went to war wit the law.

Big L

#25. One of my ex-husbands thought I had a breast job. They looked bigger. I just got the proper lingerie.

Cybill Shepherd

#26. the government was in danger of being overthrown. If it had succeeded, it would have earned the dubious distinction of being the very first armed takeover of an elected government in an ex-British colony in the West Indies.

MiddleRoad Publishers

#27. Ex-act-ly, pre-cisely: with your usual acuteness, you have hit the nail straight on the head.

Charlotte Bronte

#28. When you see an ex, you have to look better than you've ever looked. It's like the first rule of breakups. You have to make them think, 'Damn, I missed out on that?' It's the only way.

Jenny Han

#29. I am a firm believer that upon release, ex-offenders should be afforded a second chance to become productive citizens by providing rehabilitation and education that will help them join the workforce.

Charles B. Rangel

#30. My mom and I were super close when I was a kid, her and I sort of ran off from her ex-husband. It wasn't such a good time for us and I remember listening to The Distillers with her. One time I actually asked her, 'Mom, can I shave my head into a mohawk?'

Hayley Williams

#31. It doesn't take a miracle or a natural disaster to live in the world that you're after, the change is gonna happen to you

Michael Tolcher

#32. Newt Gingrich had a horrible week in the Iowa caucuses. Only 13 percent of his ex-wives voted for him.

David Letterman

#33. Making the hard to decision to throw away a once favorite bra is like deleting an ex-friend that repeatedly let you down.

Crystal Woods

#34. I smashed all the windows in my ex-boyfriend's truck." "You did what?" I couldn't have heard her correctly. That did not happen in real life. Country songs, yes. Real life, no way.

Abbi Glines

#35. In thirty seconds you will wake up," said Aziraphale, to the entranced ex-nun. "And you will have had a lovely dream about whatever you like best, and - "
"Yes, yes, fine," sighed Crowley. "Now can we go?

Terry Pratchett

#36. In your ex-wife's stingy, slutty pussy, is the subtle point I'm trying to portray.

R.K. Lilley

#37. The psychopath discards his ex-lovers with a degree of vitriol and hatred that astonishes his victims and exceeds any boundaries of normality.

Claudia Moscovici

#38. I miss it like an ex-con misses the other inmates.

Megan Miranda

#39. You go to more doctors. You celebrate Arlenny's Ph.D. defense. And then one June night you scribble the ex's name and: The half life of love is forever.

Junot Diaz

#40. I'd never kissed a girl before. Ever. And I never thought the first girl I kissed would be drunk, vomiting, and crying over her ex-boyfriend. Not to mention, she went to school with my little sister.

Beth Fred

#41. When an organization starts hemorrhaging talent, CEOs and boards of directors want to know why. If the boss gets blamed for the brain drain and is ultimately removed, it means relief for the employees still there and ex post facto vengeance for the former ones.

Jeffrey Kluger

#42. With two women every week in England and Wales being killed by their partner or ex-partner, we need to act now to end domestic violence. I am only too pleased to add my name to the Real Man campaign for Women's Aid.

Tom Aikens

#43. My mother was an ex-nun, and my father was a Franciscan brother, so I grew up believing in Jesus the way anyone would believe in Mom's first husband.

John Fugelsang

#44. IN GENERAL CANFAB ,TERRORISM IS BREWED AND COUNSELED BY WORLD MATURED MASTER BRAINS. RESULTING ENTIRE GLOBAL CITIZENS BROOKING THE CREAM OF CROP. OBVIOUSLY, POWER FIRE ON LINE LIVE HAS TO BE ENGULFED RIGHT NOW TO CATECHIZE IRON PRESS ON EX-CON WRONG DOER TOUR DE FORCE STUNT FEATS.

Various

#45. When I'm ninety-five and it's 'This is Your Life' time, they'll still be referring to me as 'ex-Beatle' ... it does have it's advantages. It's still the best way to get a good table at a resturant.

Ringo Starr

#46. Defending her scandalized ex-husband had cost Jenna Wheeler's family greatly in the suburban standings - but the murder of Haley McWaid must have made life here fairly untenable. Parents

Harlan Coben

#47. Persons of genius are, ex vi termini, more individual than any other people - less capable, consequently, of fitting themselves, without hurtful compression, into any of the small number of moulds which society provides in order to save its members the trouble of forming their character.

John Stuart Mill

#48. I know one gay ex-Mormon who is a talented, self-destructive alcoholic. Whenever he is drunk and going on a tear, we are back to the Mormon Church and his being thrown out of the Mormon Church and growing up with this sense of being evil.

Andrew Solomon

#49. When I became a feminist, when the movement started in the late sixties, I started writing because I had something urgent to say. My first novel, Memoirs of an Ex-Prom Queen, is the product of that urgency.

Alix Kates Shulman

#50. Madame Tallien shared honors with Josephine Beauharnais in being mistress to Barras, an ex-nobleman and ex-terrorist whose appetite for beautiful women, beautiful young men, and money was the only wholesome trait in his character.

J. Christopher Herold

#51. A wife lasts only for the length of the marriage, but an ex-wife is there for the rest of your life.

Jim Samuels

#52. Tonight was the CNN primary debate with the four remaining candidates. It was kind of a change for Newt Gingrich. Usually when he's arguing with three people at once, it's his wife, his ex-wife, and his mistress.

Jay Leno

#53. If my ex-husband could move on, I could, too. I would search for my gardener, someone who would help me to grow and bloom, but who would recognize the fragility of a new flower just starting to poke out of the ground.
If I was lucky, he'd have a long cultivator.

Tracy H. Tucker

#54. If Black people had simply accepted a status of economic and political inferiority, the mob murders would probably have subsided. But because vast numbers of ex-slaves refused to discard their dreams of progress, more than ten thousand lynchings occurred during the three decades following the war.

Angela Y. Davis

#55. Divorce is war and unfortunately, some parents live in constant entanglements with their ex-spouses and they shift aside the issues that post-divorce can leave on the shoulders of their children.

Diane Greene

#56. It's like I'm married to the silencer,
Until I file for divorce and release my ex-calibers.
Do art with your arteries, place that for my adversaries,
Put your snap back cap back, cap your capillaries.

Pharoahe Monch

#57. 'White Collar' is a show about the unlikely pairing of an FBI agent and an ex-con solving smart, glamorous, interesting and provocative crimes in a sometimes very funny way.

Tim DeKay

#58. He's by best friend and the father of my children. He's a great ex.

Sarah Ferguson

#59. Everyone has the bully or the mean girl or the ex-boyfriend who tried to bring them down.

Demi Lovato

#60. But if there was a protocol for how to say goodbye to your newly ex-boyfriend's brother, right after you kissed him and probably sent your ex into the arms of his willing ex-girlfriend, I didn't know what it was.

Rachel Vincent

#61. I was born too late to have any temptation with communism, or at least Soviet-type communism. Travelling in Eastern Europe and the ex-Soviet Union, you clearly don't want to defend a system that would have empty shops and a totalitarian regime and internal passports.

Thomas Piketty

#62. Badmouthing your ex-spouse rips the child apart

Dennis Prager

#63. All in all, he thought it was a bad idea to get involved with the woman investigating his ex's possible suicide with intent to haunt.

Marybeth Niederkorn

#64. Every ex-player I meet says the exact same thing to me 'I wish I had given it longer'. Too many players get flights home when they have the opportunity because they' re missing their mates and home, then they go back into that environment and get comfortable.

Kevin Kilbane

#65. Russia is actively using gas diplomacy for its expansion over the ex-Soviet space in a bid to become a regional superpower.

Lilia Shevtsova

#66. In America the scale of medical embezzlement is extraordinary. According to Donald Berwick, the ex-boss of Medicare and Medicaid (the public health schemes for the old and poor), America lost between $82 billion and $272 billion in 2011 to medical fraud and abuse.

Anonymous

#67. Every time I see my cat licking its asshole I think about my ex wife. But that's how nostalgia works, right? We only remember the best of the available memories.

Jarod Kintz

#68. Oh my God," Maddie whispered, horrified. "I rented him that boat. Does that make me a murderer?"
Tara's heart clutched. "He's not dead yet."
"Hurry," Maddie called to Ford. "I can't be the one who killed Tara's ex!" I look terrible in orange!

Jill Shalvis

#69. If you don't think a mental patient has the right to bring a sawed-off shotgun to the church where his ex-girlfriend is getting married, you're part of the problem.

David Sedaris

#70. Are there moments when I see unrequited crushes or ex-boyfriends slow dancing with their dates and kind of want to stab myself in the spleen with a salad fork? Yeah, sure.

Sloane Crosley

#71. When did the government become our psycho ex-girlfriend

Jay Leno

#72. She started coming to the meetings. We talked, mostly about you, and it sorta..."
"Just happened," Tori finished, staring at the floor.

"Unh-uh." Cara shook her head, trying to clear it like an Etch a Sketch. "A zit just happens. My best friend going after my ex doesn't just happen.

Melissa Landers

#73. The skanky vamp biting for bucks on the dark end of state street is your ex boyfriend? William asked. The look on William's face implied he hoped I washed after interacting with Parrish

Tate Hallaway

#74. In my defence, I did like my ex until she cheated on me. I just thought the feeling was love.

S.A. Tawks

#75. sees the Sights, under Perplexing Difficulties. The native borned Gothamite mite have notissed, a short time since, a venerable lookin' ex-Statesman,

Various

#76. Your extracurricular activities are definitely somewhat lackluster, Annie."
"What? Being the daughter of a celebrated criminal doesn't count as an extracurricular activity?"
"No," Scarlet said. "A case could be made for poisoning your ex-boyfriend however.

Gabrielle Zevin

#77. All I'm saying is I've never seen my ex and satan in the same room.

Unknown

#78. I did an interview once where I was asked who I found attractive and I went on about cartoons and Nala from 'The Lion King' - and it's a bit weird but various of my ex-girlfriends actually did look like Nala.

Eddie Redmayne

#79. I've actually always started with what feels most natural. Which is, the people who surround me in my daily life. So, the first show I ever wrote, which is called 'Surface Transit,' was based in part on people I knew from my family. Co-workers, ex-boyfriends. All of that kind of thing.

Sarah Jones

#80. Z knew the fed EX-tinction package had arrived and wasn't ready to take delivery

J.R. Ward

#81. Allie took Nick and Mikey into the vault, and they sat there, a summit meeting of three questionable superpowers: a skinjacker, an ex-ogre, and a part-time monster.

Neal Shusterman

#82. The truth is that everybody has a past and everybody has an ex.

Bridget Regan

#83. Radical Edwards's profile? He's a seven-foot tall ex-basketball pro hindu guru drag-queen alien.
-Jet Black, from the Cowboy Bebop anime script

Keiko Nobumoto

#84. I stood there, 220 pounds of ex-football player, ex-public defender, ex-a-lot-of-things, leaning against the faded walnut rail of the witness stand, home to a million sweaty palms. "To Speak for the Dead" (The Jake Lassiter Series)

Paul Levine

#85. The Howard Hughes thing hadn't actually sounded like such a bad deal until about ... oh, eight thirty-five this morning. Something about having his ex carry him to the bathroom and help him wash his balls just took all the fun out of becoming an eccentric recluse.

Heidi Betts

#86. Spirituality does not lie in meditating the body of an ex-master. Spirituality exists in mediating on your own inner body.

Amit Ray

#87. I don't know what I want. And, if that's the case, as my ex-wife said, I'd only hurt people.

Haruki Murakami

#88. We are all trying to get over the person who broke our hearts. We are all far from perfect.

Alex Rosa

#89. What did that stupid deserting crap-bag ex-boyfriend, ex-best friend with the most perfect stupid hair do? He DIDN'T delete his crap off the desktop before he fled my life and left me all alone. That's what he did.

James Patterson

#90. Now, with the general decay of religious faith , it is the scientists who must speak ex cathedra, whether they wish to or not.

Richard M. Weaver

#91. My ex-wife, she really didn't like the material that I did. And that's something I regret, that I wasn't more careful about making sure that she was O.K. with it. I just sort of didn't ask. So that's how that goes.

Louis C.K.

#92. Ex-convicts prepared the eggs for the White House's Easter Egg Roll. It's nice to see the White House reaching out to former members of Congress.

Jay Leno

#93. In my experience, the ex-military guys came in two types. The first grew long hair, sprouted beards, and indulged in all the things they hadn't been able do while they'd been in the armed forces. The second did their best to pretend they never got out.

Ilona Andrews

#94. If he were ever to break up with me, I would so be that stalker ex-girlfriend who stole his underwear and hid in the hedges outside his bedroom window.

Darynda Jones

#95. I always appreciated the ex-players. Being a Yankee, you get spoiled. Old-Timers Day, all these guys coming back, spring training, being around them, you get a chance to get to know them. So I always think you learn a lot by listening.

Derek Jeter

#96. Worried, I touched the jacket's sleeve. "You think it's too much?" I asked, working hard to keep my tone non-combative. I'd had this conversation with ex-roommates before.

Kim Harrison

#97. History buffs probably noted the reunion at a Washington party a few weeks ago of three ex-presidents: Carter, Ford and Nixon - See No Evil, Hear No Evil and Evil.

Bob Dole

#98. The reality is that I surround myself with very smart, very strong people - including my ex-wives.

Ronald Perelman

#99. The whole family is a bunch of dangerous freaks ... Most are ex-cons or junkies or deranged from inbreeding. Five have died violently, three are back in prison, two have gone insane from untreated venereal disease, and one writes book reviews.

Tim Dorsey

#100. Besides Bob Satterfield, the only ones who ever hurt me were my ex-wives.

Jake LaMotta