Top 100 The Duck Quotes
#1. Don't forget that in pushing policemen into duck ponds the follow through is everything.
P.G. Wodehouse
#2. One personal tip that my trainer gave me was, "Don't take things personally. People are calling on the worst days of their lives and you're their first point of contact. Be like a duck and let the water roll off your back." I live by those words when I'm at work.
Cameron West
#3. Well, yes, I call it the Expando-Duck. It's perfect if you need a small metal duck. Or a larger metal duck.
Rick Riordan
#4. The sight of so many guns, mostly deer rifles and duck guns but with a smattering of black rifles and riot shotguns, made him glad that this was going down in a rural area where people still had their heads screwed on right about personal defense.
Larry Correia
#5. If you should rear a duck in the heart of the Sahara, no doubt it would swim if you brought it to the Nile.
Mark Twain
#6. Santa Claus was white and everything bad was black. The little ugly duckling was the black duck, and the black cat was the bad luck. And if I threaten you, I'm going to blackmail you.I said, 'Momma, why don't they call it 'whitemail'? They lie too.'
Muhammad Ali
#7. Duck Dynasty viewers think they're the experts on hunting, but actually they're the hunted ones, just another dumb demographic to be captured, laughed at and force-fed commercials for Geico and Home Depot by the Smart People in New York and L.A.
Matt Taibbi
#8. Voting for a candidate for the DC circuit is very different from confirming someone to the US Supreme Court. I have been very clear that the Senate should not confirm any nominee in a lame duck session.
Ted Cruz
#9. As for me ... I'm fine. I have bad dreams, but I never saw Mister Duck again. I play video games. I smoke a little dope. I got my thousand-yard stare. I carry a lot of scares. I like the way that sounds. I carry a lot of scares.
Alex Garland
#10. She had turned away and was watching a duck out on the lake. It was tucking into weeds, a thing I've never been able to understand anyone wanting to do. Though I suppose, if you face it squarely, they're no worse than spinach.
P.G. Wodehouse
#11. The competition is out to get you. Are you a moving target or a sitting duck? Innovate or die.
Richie Norton
#12. We lie under the network of arching shells and live in a suspense of uncertainty. If a shot comes, we can duck, that is all; we neither know nor can determine where it will fall.
- All Quiet On The Western Front, Ch. 6
Erich Maria Remarque
#13. The only birds I know about are the duck and the dove and the quail, birds that you shoot. You're not really supposed to shoot cardinals. I don't know if I'd shoot this bird. It looks pretty mean. This bird might pull a gun out and shoot right back at you.
Josh McCown
#14. I don't love duck nails, where the nails are really wide on top. I am not a fan of that!
Adrienne Bailon
#15. We may even find out why the duck-billed platypus.*
*Not why is it anything. Just why it is.
Terry Pratchett
#16. I drew the duck blue because I've never seen a blue duck before and, to be honest with you I wanted to see a blue duck.
Adam Sandler
#17. Smart people duck when they hear the dread announcement 'I'm going to be perfectly honest with you.
Judith Martin
#18. Monkey John looked at the dead boy. "By God, life is cheap up here on the goddamned Canadian River."
"Cheap," Blue Duck answered. "And it might get cheaper.
Larry McMurtry
#19. Just because you call an electric eel a rubber duck doesn't make it a rubber duck, does it? And God help the poor bastard who decides they want to take a bath with the duckie. (Jace Wayland)
Cassandra Clare
#20. If you're going to do Chuck Berry, you got to, you know, go all out, and the duck walk is just kind of you know, cursory. That's like standing.
Mos Def
#21. Be like a duck, paddling and working very hard inside the water, but what everyone sees is a smiling and calm face.
Manoj Arora
#22. I've been very self-indulgent and weird and I'm sorry. But I'd really like to die.
Frederick Busch
#23. They would all be sorry ... particularly the duck.
Angie Sage
#24. If anyone insists on his own goodness and despises others . . . let him look into himself when this petition confronts him. He will find he is no better than others and that in the presence of God everyone must duck his head and come into the joy of forgiveness only through the low door of humility.
Timothy Keller
#25. You can't understand it until you experience the simple joy of the first time your son points at a seagull and says 'Duck!'
Russell Crowe
#26. Meow says the cat ,quack says the duck , Bow wow wow says the dog !
Grrrr!
Charles Dickens
#27. Kinky sex involves the use of duck feathers. Perverted sex involves the whole duck.
Lewis Grizzard
#28. When I was nine years old I use to copy - not trace - the covers of the Donald Duck comics. Many years later I became a close friend of Jack Hannah, the director of the Donald Duck film shorts.
William Jackson
#29. That everything in nature has "the appearance" of design is not exactly evidence against design. According to Dawkins, though, if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it is almost certainly something else.
Paul Greene
#30. The real question is, do you root for the fox in that song? Or are you horrified that the goose and the duck are being dragged off to their death, which is described in detail?
Chris Thile
#31. At first it was difficult for me to draw. My right hand doesn't work anymore so I had to train myself to use my left hand. But I persevered. The first one I ended up finishing was the duck.
Edwyn Collins
#32. Flapping my arms I began to cluck, look at me, I'm the disco duck.
Rick Dees
#33. I'm the master of distractions. A couple of hand gestures and BAM! I'll pull the underwear clean off your butt.
Si Robertson
#34. I had my first French meal and I never got over it. It was just marvelous. We had oysters and a lovely dry white wine. And then we had one of those lovely scalloped dishes and the lovely, creamery buttery sauce. Then we had a roast duck and I don't know what else.
Julia Child
#35. They said her duck recipe and the Chinese music were so dramatic everything else sounded anemic.
Frank McCourt
#36. You know in most fantasy books the main meat is venison? Ever wonder how it tastes? I can tell you from first hand experience that venison tastes delicious. So does roasted duck, lamb and mutton.
Katie Thornton-K.
#37. I'm jamming 'Black Sabbath Vol. 4' all the time. Zappa's 'Cruising With Ruben & The Jets.' A lot of Gong lately. Some Hawkwind. The Residents' 'Duck Stab' is amazing. Some Fugs. Lots of stuff, man. I'm pretty schizophrenic with records.
Ty Segall
#38. You can master your weather. You can make it what you want. You can have storms or sunshine. You can duck and hide or walk out in the open.
Patricia Cornwell
#40. I have eaten several priests. They sit on the stomach like duck eggs.
John Gardner
#41. The artist's task is to become a successful eccentric, a strange but wise duck able to venture out of solitary confinement and mingle among society.
Eric Maisel
#42. Carrot stared straight ahead of him with the glistening air of one busting with duty and efficiency and an absolute resolve to duck and dodge any direct questions put to him
Terry Pratchett
#43. Soup's on and I got a coupon.
Chinese restaurant asking for the Grey Poupon.
He said "No, duck sauce, soy sauce ...
And this ain't no Burger King, so you no get no toy, boss."
Daniel Dumile
#44. If you are going to be a successful duck hunter, you must go where the ducks are.
Bear Bryant
#45. Oh, yes, sir. And the Soul Cake Duck. And the Sandman. And Death.
Terry Pratchett
#46. Be a duck, remain calm on the surface and paddle like hell underneath.
Michael Caine
#47. I figured I'd duck out ... before Goody Osbourne took the stand.
Megan Abbott
#48. Tonight's December thirty-first, something is about to burst. The clock is crouching, dark and small, like a time bomb in the hall. Hark, it's midnight, children dear. Duck! Here comes another year!
Ogden Nash
#49. As a former English major, I am a sitting duck for Gift Books, and in the past few years I've gotten Dickens, Thackeray, Smollet, Richardson, Emerson, Keats, Boswell and the Brontes, all of them Great, none of them ever read by me, all of them now on a shelf, looking at me and making me feel guilty.
Garrison Keillor
#50. Duck was a neutral party, so he brought the ultimatum to the cows.
Doreen Cronin
#52. This was not a real human being but some kind of dummy. It was not the man's brain that was speaking, it was his larynx. The stuff that was coming out of him consisted of words, but it was not speech in the true sense: it was a noise uttered in unconsciousness, like the quacking of a duck.
George Orwell
#53. A duck walks into a bar and the bartender asks, what'll it be? The duck doesn't answer because it's a duck.
Jodi Picoult
#54. Poetry is the most subtle of the literary arts, and students grow more ingenious by the year at avoiding it. If they can nip around Milton, duck under Blake and collapse gratefully into the arms of Jane Austen, a lot of them will.
Terry Eagleton
#55. I could dance with you till the cows come home. Better still, I'll dance with the cows and you come home.
Groucho Marx was never one to pass up an opportunity for a play on words and this occurs in his dialogue of the 1933 film Duck Soup:
Groucho Marx
#56. Every once in the while I'll watch 'Duck Dynasty' and 'Kim & Kourtney Take Miami,' but outside of that, I don't really watch TV. Also, I don't text anybody, I'm hardly on Twitter or Instagram, and I'm very closed off. I'm kind of a hermit.
Israel Broussard
#57. We have the most liberal, the most leftist candidate who has ever run for president in my lifetime; he's a sitting duck. This guy's policies are aimed at destroying the age of American greatness.
Rush Limbaugh
#58. Our minds have a tendency to wander. To duck and feint and keep us at a slight remove from the moment at hand.
Dani Shapiro
#59. If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, you're probably in the wrong bathroom.
Robert Leland Taylor
#60. The electro scene is all over the clubs now: groups like Duck Sauce, Empire of the Sun, even MGMT. But I get inspiration from everywhere. I'll go to the gym and put on old albums - Guns N' Roses or old Jay-Z.
Fergie
#61. As an old acquaintance of mine used to say, "If you can't duck it, fuck it." I'm pretty sure he knew it was duct and not duck, but I'll forgive him for the sake of the rhyme.
Cherie Priest
#62. When I started out in the duck-call business, my college buddies would come in and say, 'Robertson, you have a college degree. What are you doing?' Then they drove away saying, 'What an idiot!' Thirty-five years later, they're saying, 'The sucker's a genius!'
Si Robertson
#63. The next millisecond demonstrated how much faster I can think than react. First I thought Blitzen had spotted an actual duck. Blitzen likes ducks. Then I realized he was telling me to get down, which is hard to do when you're the last in a line of three people on horseback.
Rick Riordan
#64. Thought you could steal the pepper, did you?! Thought you could try darning my socks while I was asleep, did you?! I wanted those holes there, you little bastard! I wanted those holes there!" He throttled the duck and swung it up and down, whumping it on the table.
Clayton Smith
#65. So the controversy over Duck Dynasty sends a clear signal to anyone who has anything to risk in public life: Say nothing about the sinfulness of homosexual acts or risk sure and certain destruction by the revolutionaries of the new morality. You have been warned.
Albert Mohler
#66. Though finally the worst thing about regret is that it makes you duck the chance of suffering new regret just as you get a glimmer that nothing's worth doing unless it has the potential of to fuck up your whole life
Richard Ford
#67. The perils of duck hunting are great - especially for the duck.
Walter Cronkite
#68. Be like a duck. Calm on the surface, but always paddling like the dickens underneath.
Michael Caine
#69. Confit is not something that comes to mind for summer. Usually it means duck confit, made by cooking the legs and thighs in duck fat to preserve them for winter.
Geoffrey Zakarian
#70. The wise duck keeps his mouth shut when he smells frogs.
Ernest Bramah
#71. I do not claim any of the creation of the blues, although I have written many of them even before Mr. Handy had any blues published. I heard them when I was knee-high to a duck.
Jelly Roll Morton
#72. Superpowers, don't always make you a superhero. - Duck
Michael Grant
#73. A confident leader is like a duck. Above the water, he is calm and poised while below the water, he is driven by a flurry of focused activity.
Todd Stocker
#74. When I start a movie, the first day, I feel like a duck.
Penelope Cruz
#75. Platitudes and generalities roll of the human understanding like water from a duck
Claude C. Hopkins
#76. I've always said the key to killing a lot of mallards if you live on the East Coast is to move west. The No. 1 rule in duck hunting is to go where the ducks are.
Jase Robertson
#77. Mel Blanc is a hero because of what he could do with his voice for all the Looney Tunes, the Warner Brothers cartoons, to be the voice of Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Elmer Fudd, Porky Pig.
Nicolas Cage
#78. Well, don't make duck. I'm morally opposed to duck. Do you know what they do to ducks at a duck farm? The cruelty! It's barbaric. But I do love veal. Can you make veal? Or is that too hard for you?
Kristan Higgins
#79. Oh, I'm just checking out books. I glanced at the one I was holding. Somehow, of all the places I could duck into, I'd wound up in the erotica section. In my hands was a book about bondage. Somebody kill me now.
Cindi Madsen
#80. For years after my father left us for Belladonna, I had looked for him ... the last time someone had seen them, they were living on a duck's back.
Jodi Lynn Anderson
#81. The Second Amendment isn't about duck hunting or target shooting.
Massad Ayoob
#82. John Kerry went duck hunting and he's doing that to fulfill his campaign pledge to hunt down the ducks and kill them wherever they are! Kerry did pretty well; he came back with four ducks and three Purple Hearts.
David Letterman
#83. This aim was frankly admitted in the Newspeak word duckspeak, meaning "to quack like a duck." Like various other words in the B vocabulary, duckspeak was ambivalent in meaning. Provided
George Orwell
#84. At present, he's got the idea that I'm a kind of ... Who was the chap who was such a devil with the other sex? ... Donald something."
"Donald Duck?'
"Don Juan. That's the fellow I mean
P.G. Wodehouse
#85. You know, he would go and look at different funny books because he wanted his character to be different and make different faces. I saw a funny book in his room and it looked like the same character he was playing. It was about a duck.
Bubba Smith
#86. In 1932, lame duck president Herbert Hoover was so desperate to remain in the White House that he dressed up as Eleanor Roosevelt. When FDR discovered the hoax in 1936, the two men decided to stay together for the sake of the children.
Johnny Carson
#87. Fuck a duck! The asshole has a girlfriend. Great! Just great. Which makes me that woman. The other woman.
Belle Aurora
#88. 'Vegetarian' is a slippery word. I don't eat cheese, I don't eat duck - the point is I'm vegan.
Grace Slick
#89. Duck-bill, n. Your account at your restaurant during the canvas-back season.
Ambrose Bierce
#90. [W]atching ducks land on a lake in Arkansas in the winter is about the closest to Heaven as you can find on this earth ... and as someone who believes, according to my faith, I will go to Heaven when I die, I am pretty sure that there is duck hunting in Heaven!
Mike Huckabee
#91. I've got ten thousand ducks quacking and waddling, with one deluded chicken that thinks it's a duck in the middle. I think it's a flock of ducks; Cam thinks it's a malign conspiracy of chickens.
John Barnes
#92. If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and looks like a duck, it is a very unfortunate situation for the batting team. On the other side of the image, although being definitely unfortunatable for the batting team, it is most definitely a glorious silver lining for the bowling team.
Ian B.G. Burns
#93. I find in the domestic duck that the bones of the wing weigh less and the bones of the leg more, in proportion to the whole skeleton, than do the same bones in the wild duck; and this change may be safely attributed to the domestic duck flying much less, and walking more, than its wild parents.
Charles Darwin
#94. The old woman remembered a swan she had bought many years ago in Shanghai for a foolish sum. This bird, boasted the market vendor, was once a duck that stretched its neck in hopes of becoming a goose, and now look!
it is too beautiful to eat.
Amy Tan
#95. Architectural kitsch is most common in the commercial pop vernacular - typified by the Big Duck of 1931 in Flanders, New York, a Long Island roadside poultry stand resembling a duck, which Venturi and Scott Brown made a cult object through their writings.
Martin Filler
#96. I moved from Italy to Oregon in the '80s - sort of like moving to the middle of a "Duck Dynasty" episode, which was massive culture shock to say the least.
Rose McGowan
#97. People hit the sauce in a big way all winter. Amidst blizzards they wrestle unsuccessfully with the dark comedy of their lives, laughter trapped in their frigid gizzards. Meanwhile, the mercury just plummets, like a migrating duck blasted out of the sky by some hunter in a cap with fur earflaps.
Amy Gerstler
#98. The secret of success is to be like a duck, Smooth and unruffled on top, But paddling furiously underneath.
Bill Cosby
#99. The Bostonians are very well in their way. Their hotels are bad. Their pumpkin pies are delicious. Their poetry is not so good. Their Common is no common thing - and the duck pond might answer - if its answer could be heard for the frogs.
Edgar Allan Poe
#100. For parents, the days are long but the years are short.
Travis Thrasher
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