Top 100 Sandwich Quotes
#1. I tell people all the time, you have to be in love with that pot. You have to put all your love in that pot. If you're in a hurry,just eat your sandwich and go. Don't even start cooking, because you can't do anything well in a hurry. I love food. I love serving people. I love satisfying people.
Leah Chase
#2. People get burned out in big families, you can even see it in the naming of children. Like the first kid, "You were named after Grandma." The seventh kid, "You were named after a sandwich I had. Now get your brother, Reuben."
Jim Gaffigan
#3. The most successful Subway customers, of course, are the ones who can't keep their hands off their sandwich. Join your artist in the sandwich assembling process. That sneeze guard is a suggestion. That sneeze guard is trying to intimidate you into staying on the customer's side of the partition.
Mallory Ortberg
#4. How Nathan doesn't know I fancy him is beyond me. I may as well walk around with a sandwich board, saying 'I heart Nathan', ringing a bell
Samantha Towle
#5. I'm an appalling cook. I can just about create a glass of orange juice and a ham-and-cheese sandwich.
Dara O Briain
#6. I always like to find those little mom-and-pop sandwich places, or diners. Those are my favorite kind of places.
Billy Gardell
#7. God turns clouds inside out to make fluffy beds for the dogs in Dog Heaven, and when they are tired from running and barking and eating ham-sandwich biscuits, the dogs find a cloud bed for sleeping. God watches over each one of them. And there are no bad dreams.
Cynthia Rylant
#8. Normally a grand jury will indict a ham sandwich if a prosecutor asks it to.
Chuck Robb
#9. Four young men in motorcycle jackets... set upon the man in khaki shorts and beat him unconscious with his own sandwich board.
Stephen King
#10. I feel very uncomfortable when I eat in restaurants. I'm obnoxiously polite with the waiters: 'I just want a tuna sandwich. I'll go get it. You sit here - I'll get it, I'll make it.
Dana Gould
#11. This week it's peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, toasted. And then, I'll put some salt on my hand like I'm taking a tequila shot and then take a bite of the sandwich.
Jessica Simpson
#12. But feelings, they don't care about telling. They just go right on, piling on top of one another like a big sandwich.
Jerry Spinelli
#13. Dagwood Bumstead was a great unrecognized hero of American literature. He showed up every day, he got knocked down every day, he never got to eat his sandwich every day, the dog jumped on him every day, his wife was giving him a hard time and he showed up every day.
James L. Brooks
#14. When I was 11 my friend's mom made a peanut butter sandwich. I ate the sandwich and was like, 'I'm never eating anything else again.' And I still eat peanut butter every day. I would put peanut butter on a steak.
Aasif Mandvi
#15. Too few people understand a really good sandwich.
James Beard
#16. A sandwich and a cup of coffee, and then off to violin-land, where all is sweetness and delicacy and harmony.
Arthur Conan Doyle
#17. I peered around the corner into the main recovery ward. All I could see were surgeons. Surgeons filling out those incessant forms. Surgeons bringing cups of tea and little sandwich triangles to patients. Surgeons laying in a lethargic stupor, recovering from eye surgery.
Lauren Pearce
#18. I say 20 words in English. I say money, money, money, and I say hot dog! I say yes, no and I say money, money, money and I say turkey sandwich and I say grape juice.
Carmen Miranda
#19. You've been avoiding me," he said, talking to the sandwich.
I laughed. He looked over at me. "Sorry. I just realized that you talk to a lot of inanimate objects.
Rachel Hawthorne
#21. He held the sandwich in his right hand, a cigarette in his left, alternating between the two. When witness to this, I always hoped that in error he would take a bite of the cigarette or attempt to smoke the sandwich, but he never became confused.
Dean Koontz
#22. My mother only ever said two things. She said,'I don't know, dear.'And she said,'Can I get you a sandwich, honey?
Bill Bryson
#23. Bottoming doesn't make you a submissive any more than standing in my kitchen makes you a cook. By the way, while you're there, please make me a sandwich.
Michael Makai
#24. It could be anything, give a homeless guy a sandwich, help an old lady across the street like anything to make this world a better place. If everybody just did one good thing for another person like a selfless good deed just think about how much a better place this would be.
Frank Iero
#25. Jaden: "Dude, you've found something wrong with every girl. I'm about to play this one solo if you can't make up your mind."
Bastian: "We're not trying to decide between a Big Mac or a chicken sandwich here. This is some serious shit. We want epicness, we have to be choosy.
Nyrae Dawn
#26. I hate sandwiches at New York delis. Too much meat on the sandwich. It's like a cow with a cracker on either side. "Would you like anything else with the pastrami sandwich?" "Yeah, a loaf of bread and some other people!"
Mitch Hedberg
#27. I'll pluck out my eye with a pencil and eat it with a Spam and mustard sandwich IF ONLY you'll sit me at lunch today, MacKenzie!
Rachel Renee Russell
#28. Whenever I'm out late she makes a sandwich for my school lunch. I always protest and tell her not to, saying I'll make my own when I get home. But she likes it. She says it reminds her of when I was younger and needed her.
Jay Asher
#29. Nick can do a pretty good nice, but it's not the real deal. His is a thin, watery nice, a niceness-au-jus drizzled over a great big asshole sandwich.
Melissa DeCarlo
#30. Delighted of course. It will only be a very scratch meal - just the sandwich crusts and broken meringue-shells and what's left over. Yes, isn't it a perfect morning?
Katherine Mansfield
#31. She's a sad, lonely bitch who needs to eat a sandwich and get a life." It
Kristen Ashley
#32. A misperception about anorexia is that you don't eat. Not true. Maybe you eat just 500 calories a day. It would be easy for me to say, 'Why didn't my parents notice?' But I didn't want them to. I made sure to eat half a sandwich around my parents.
Brittany Snow
#33. The socializing hadn't been so bad, he acknowledged, and he couldn't say he minded the food, though a man would do better with a good beef sandwich. Still it was plentiful, even if you did have to pick your way through half of it to get to something recognizable.
Nora Roberts
#34. What, are you doing? Aside from getting your sandwich cold." "I'm making a snow angel. Don't you know what that is?" "Yes, I know. But why? You must be freezing." "Not so much, actually. My face is a little, I guess.
Richelle Mead
#35. Is it okay?"
I nodded and continued chewing. "Y-you made me my first sub."
He smiled. "You remembered.
Shaye Evans
#36. Spaghetti is good with ranch, and spaghetti is good with sugar. You put all of that together and make a sandwich out of it and you get greatness. People shouldn't judge unless they try it.
Terry Rozier
#37. But, you know, it's still a drag to get your picture taken when you're eating a sandwich. It's a downer.
Keanu Reeves
#38. Innocents, the meat in a ghastly sandwich between an uncaring society and a vengeful state.
Bryce Courtenay
#39. If they had a social gospel in the days of the prodigal son, somebody would have given him a bed and a sandwich and he never would have gone home.
Vance Havner
#40. How would you like to be in the middle of a Vega sandwich?
Santino Hassell
#41. Twenty-four-hour room service generally refers to the length of time that it takes for the club sandwich to arrive. This is indeeddisheartening, particularly when you've ordered scrambled eggs.
Fran Lebowitz
#42. We inhabit a world in which we tend to put labels on each other and expect that we will then march through life wearing them like permanent sandwich boards.
Nick Webb
#43. And this totally normal conversation unspools from there, covering the basics: family, siblings, school, favorite composers, favorite movies, favorite wood (for carving puppets), the prehistory of the sandwich, and whether the ancient Romans got their togas caught in the spokes of their unicycles
Laini Taylor
#44. If there is a God, he's a son of a bitch. If he wanted to do us a favor he would have made raw carrots and bean sprouts as appealing as a fatty, fried sandwich and a Marlboro.
Marshall Thornton
#45. It does sound like a science fiction story and I may sound like one of these guys who walks up and down with a sandwich board saying the end of the world is nigh, but the end is nigh ...
Lembit Opik
#46. I'm eating a massive pastrami sandwich. It's so beautiful I might cry. Just so you know.
Lucy Robinson
#47. The cauliflower soup sounds so good. And the broccoli-melt sandwich. I've never heard of such a thing.
Chris O'Dowd
#48. I like wearing gloves made of cheese (Swiss), and then going around asking elderly men if they want a knuckle sandwich.
Jarod Kintz
#49. First person singular obtaining colloquial orgasm within a Caledonian sandwich' it said, then looked annoyed, and spoke incoherently into a grille set in its belly which replied. It looked up and said, 'Sorry, as I was saying: I come in peace
Iain M. Banks
#50. Would you like a tuna-salad sandwich?'
'Yes,' God said. 'Thank you.
Octavia E. Butler
#51. You don't need a pack of wild horses to learn how to make a sandwich.
Phil McGraw
#52. You see the button with the guy with the tray, and you push it, AND HE ARRIVES WITH A SANDWICH! ... And you think: "Yes! Yes! I control sandwich monkey! I live in magic land, magic land, magic land"
Dylan Moran
#53. Well, I'm guessing hat in about two centuries or so, humans will discover zero space and make transponders. Whatever they are. But in the meantime, I'm going to have a sandwich."
-Animorphs #5, The Predator page 34
K.A. Applegate
#54. The man who runs from his office to the golf club, gulps a sandwich, belches and races to the first tee has no business howling in anguish when he puts his first two shots in the woods, then tops a 3-iron shot into the pond.
Tony Lema
#55. Brianna! I wouldn't feed that nasty sandwich to my WORST ENEMY!" And by worst enemy, I meant people like . . . well, you know . . . MACKENZIE HOLLISTER !! Although,
Rachel Renee Russell
#56. Fast food is the one thing everyone can relate to. It's depressing, but also interesting, that people desire to eat the same sandwich in every single city in the world. But the biggest bummer is when you see a Subway in Berlin. Just devastating.
Patrick Carney
#57. All of the energy of existence is going to flow through you. You will be in thousands of planes of consciousness at once or beyond in nirvana or having a sandwich with a friend.
Frederick Lenz
#58. In 1981, I borrowed 2,000 pounds - a lot of money back then - paid 50 quid for a seat, packed my own sandwich, and hopped on a plane to America. It was a mighty leap, but one that paid off. A week later, I got a job called 'Remington Steele.'
Pierce Brosnan
#59. They talk but their words don't register on the soundtrack. Anyway, they must be saying things like how was your day, I'm tired, there's an avocado sandwich in the kitchen, thanks, thanks, a beer in the refrigerator.
Roberto Bolano
#60. I need to eat before a workout. If I exercise in the morning, I'll have a little oatmeal, cereal, or a hard-boiled egg with toast. If I go in the afternoon, I'll eat a turkey sandwich with cheese for lunch.
Ana Ortiz
#62. In Africa, as resources inevitably disappear, people have to make do with a lot less. You have to be much more ingenious with a lot less, and accept that you can't get your perfect tuna sandwich on a street corner.
Damon Albarn
#63. I eat a lot. I'm a big sandwich dude. Turkey, mayonnaise, mustard, cheese, yes. I love craft services.
Jason Mitchell
#64. Martin Silenus sniffed a jar, found a knife on the sandwich plate, and added great dollops of horseradish to his sandwich. His eyes sparkled with tears as he ate.
Dan Simmons
#65. You think people can work all day and then pick up their kids at child care or wherever and get home and still manage to sandwich in an eight-hour vote? Well Republicans, I guess can do that. Because a lot of them have never made an honest living in their lives.
Howard Dean
#66. A ham sandwich is better than nothing. Nothing is better than eternal happiness. So eternal happiness is beaten by a ham sandwich.
Mark Forsyth
#68. To sum up, as Bibiano said, quoting Parra: that's how it goes, the glory of the world; no world, no glory, not even a miserable mortadella sandwich
Roberto Bolano
#69. The overall affect of the man was just a shade subtler than a sandwich board with the words BETTER THAN YOU written out in big block letters.
William Ritter
#70. I'm staying in a strange hotel. I called room service for a sandwich and they sent up two hookers.
Bill Maher
#71. I am zee peanut butter; you are zee jelly. Come, cherie, let us make a sandwich of luuuv." That
Julie Ann Walker
#72. The best thing I can make is a peanut butter-and-jelly sandwich.
Mario Diaz-Balart
#73. I tour a lot and interview a lot. I'm on the Internet and doing stuff. I go out and promote. I've got a bass drum and a sandwich sign and a washboard. You just have to shout louder and louder that you're still alive.
Al Jarreau
#74. Never set your stomach for a jelly-bread sandwich until you're sure there's some jelly!
Charles M. Schulz
#75. You're in America now," I said. "Our idea of diplomacy is showing up with a gun in one hand and a sandwich in the other and asking which you'd prefer.
Jim Butcher
#76. You put more value on every minute ... You know I always kinda thought I did that. I really always enjoyed myself. But it's more valuable now. You're reminded to enjoy every sandwich and every minute.
Warren Zevon
#78. I tore the crusts off my grilled cheese sandwich and set them aside to throw out for the birds. Their motives were pure
hunger, thirst, shelter
and they didn't mind leftovers.
Laura Wiess
#79. Please accept this sandwich as a gesture of solidarity.
Castiel
#80. Can I share with you my worldview? All of humankind has one thing in common: the sandwich. I believe that all anyone really wants in this life is to sit in peace and eat a sandwich.
LIZ
#81. I like the philosophy of the sandwich, as it were. It typifies my attitude to life, really. It's all there, it's fun, it looks good, and you don't have to wash up afterwards.
Molly Parkin
#82. The first four and a half years was me in the studio every day, writing songs for other people. I had jobs, too - eleven jobs. I worked at Kinko's, Fatburger, Subway - I was a sandwich artist - and I was a claims processor at Allstate Insurance.
Frank Ocean
#83. Tuna, like eggs, can be kind of stinky, so if you work with a bunch of uptight dickwad complainers, bring a tuna sandwich for lunch and give them something to complain about.
Hilah Johnson
#84. As he heard me approach, he quickly leaped up, grabbing a nearby loaf of bread and holding it in front of him as if struck by a sudden desire to make a sandwich.
Sarah Dessen
#85. As I grabbed my cocoa, chocolate ran down my hand.
"This makes me feel like a five-year-old," I said, licking it off.
"If I ordered a sandwich at this place, do you think they'd cut the crusts off?
Mindi Scott
#86. When I'm stuck in my writing, the world is amiss. If I'm eating a sandwich, it's an unsettled sandwich. If I'm in the shower, it's an incorrect shower. It's profoundly uncomfortable. But it's what keeps me pushing.
Melissa Rosenberg
#87. During the late Victorian period, one English woman in Hampshire who suffered from fits reportedly ate an entire New Testament in an attempt to cure her illness, putting each page in the middle of a sandwich.
Martyn Lyons
#88. Have you seen the bologna that has the olives in it? Who's that for? 'I like my bologna like a martini. With an olive.' 'I'll have the bologna sandwich - dirty.'
Jim Gaffigan
#90. I think that every show on television has its place. I think Married With Children or, I don't know, The Nanny ... some people want to go home, turn on the TV and be able to iron their clothes or grab a sandwich. Come out and catch a joke and not have to follow the story.
Peter Krause
#91. I don't get why my fans call me yummy. I mean I'm not a sandwich!
Justin Bieber
#92. I draw hundreds and hundreds of pictures of sort of gnarly looking men, so I don't know what that tells you. People who look like ... they're waiting for a sandwich that's never going to come. I don't know what's wrong with me.
Dylan Moran
#93. I felt a stack of shelves, and these were filled with plastic bottles and maybe buckets, and one object that felt like the worst thing in the world but which turned out later to be a sandwich.
Adam Rex
#94. I gut check my show. I say, I say, "Gut, gut, does that feel true to you?" And Gut says, "Yes it does, Stephen. Let's get a grilled cheese sandwich."
Stephen Colbert
#95. Life ain't all blow jobs and ice cream. Sometimes it's a shit sandwich and a kick in the nuts.
Matt Cole
#96. Life is a shit sandwich. The more bread you've got, the less shit you eat.
Salman Rushdie
#97. The smell of peppery warm cheese and thick, yeasty grilled bread was beginning to fill the air. She would give the sandwich to Della Lee when she got home, and while Della Lee ate the sandwich Josey would eat oatmeal pies and candy corn and packets of salty pumpkin seeds from her closet.
Sarah Addison Allen
#98. I've seen fish hooked who keep more patience in their worst gill than some of you have in your best moods. If you were a sandwich at McDonalds, they'd call you the McGrump.
Buddy Wakefield
#100. Clearly a black man's life is not worth a ham sandwich,
Michael Steele
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