Top 100 Quotes About Married Men
#1. I say I don't sleep with married men, but what I mean is that I don't sleep with happily married men.
Britt Ekland
#2. Studies show that the healthiest people in Western society are single women and married men - marriage, it seems, suits men more than women.
Emma Haughton
#3. Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too.
H.L. Mencken
#4. Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die.
Johnny Carson
#5. The wisest married men give in early. They get in touch with the wife side of themselves, and that's when they stop arguing.
Bill Cosby
#6. Though I hope to have a few more seasons still in senior football, I am studying to be a physiotherapist and masseur when my playing days are over. We married men have to look to the future, you know.
Bob Paisley
#7. Marriage works best for men than women. The two happiest groups are married men and unmarried women.
Gloria Steinem
#8. I know many married men, I even know a few happily married men, but I don't know one who wouldn't fall down the first open coal hole running after the first pretty girl who gave him a wink.
George Jean Nathan
#9. I abhor men who cheat on their wives and despise women who sleep with married men.
Lisa Lim
#10. Nowadays, all the married men live like bachelors, and all the bachelors like married men.
Oscar Wilde
#11. All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.
Red Skelton
#12. Ironically, survey after survey shows that married men are happier and healthier than unmarried men. Oh, and they also have more sex.
Michael Kimmel
#14. Can't you read? The score demands 'con amore', and what are you doing? You are playing it like married men!
Arturo Toscanini
#15. The three most common myths of modern romance: 1. Single men would prefer being married. 2. Married men actually leave their wives. 3. Men who wear gold chains give gold rings.
Linda Sunshine
#16. I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
Nikola Tesla
#17. It is true, that all married men have their own way, but the trouble is they don't all have their own way of having it.
Artemas Ward
#18. Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
Jackie Mason
#19. Why in almost all societies have married women specialized in bearing and rearing children and in certain agricultural activities, whereas married men have done most of the fighting and market work?
Gary Becker
#20. Bachelors have consciences, married men have wives.
Samuel Johnson
#23. I hate to get gender essentialist, but I'm starting to think that a lot of married men have some sort of heterosexually induced dentistry aversion.
Mallory Ortberg
#24. When employers tell me they prefer married men, and encourage their men to have homes of their own, because it makes them so much steadier, I wonder if they have any idea of all that that implies.
Alice Hamilton
#25. Married men live longer. Yes. And an indoor cat also lives longer. It's a furball with a broken spirit, that can only look out on a world it can never enjoy. But it does technically live longer.
Bill Maher
#26. I love men's company, but I don't feel I have to be married. Men are a wonderful part of life, like chocolate. But my life goes on whether they're there or not.
Jerry Hall
#27. The Waverley sisters had married men as steadfast and normal as the women were mercurial and strange.
Sarah Addison Allen
#28. I enjoy dating married men because they don't want anything kinky, like breakfast.
Joni Rodgers
#29. We Batchelors laugh and shew our teeth, but you married men laugh till your hearts ake.
George Herbert
#30. And, to all married men, be this a caution, Which they should duly tender as their life, Neither to doat too much, nor doubt a wife.
Philip Massinger
#31. A fierce literary woman with a penchant for married men, Margaret Fuller was ultimately torn between motherhood and her final career as a political reporter.
Susan Cheever
#32. True, most married men are convinced that their lives are dedicated to the family, and from a material standpoint this might be true. But it takes more than food in the fridge and two cars in the garage to keep a family going.
Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
#33. Much is said about the burdens and responsibilities of married men. Responsibilities indeed there are, if they but felt them: but as to burdens what are they?
Ernestine Rose
#34. I hate married men. They never make any sacrifices to the arts, but are always thinking of their duties to their wives and families or some rubbish of that sort.
J. M. W. Turner
#35. While bachelors are lonely people, I'm convinced that married men are lonely people with dependents.
Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
#36. If I did not wear torn pants, orthopedic shoes, frantic disheveled hair, that is to say, if I did not tone down my beauty, people would go mad. Married men would run amuck.
Brenda Ueland
#37. I won't stay in
with married men
any more
said the wise girl
they're too agreeable,
it's a little too much
like curling
up
with the good book.
You mean
a
good book
Oh, dear,
did I say
the
good book
sighed the witch.
Norman Mailer
#38. It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.
Henny Youngman
#39. This is what sexual liberation chiefly accomplishes - it liberates young women to pursue married men.
George Gilder
#40. Though bachelors be the strongest stakes, married men are the best binders, in the hedge of the commonwealth.
Thomas Fuller
#41. Married men are horribly tedious when they are good husbands and abominably conceited when they are not.
Oscar Wilde
#42. When daisies pied and violets blue And lady-smocks all silver-white And cuckoo-buds of yellow hue Do paint the meadows with delight, The cuckoo then, on every tree, Mocks married men; for thus sings he, Cuckoo; Cuckoo, cuckoo; O, word of fear, Unpleasing to a married ear.
William Shakespeare
#43. I became the toast of London. A lot of people I met came from these really decadent families where the married men were gay and no one thought anything about it.
Robert Mapplethorpe
#44. Oh my God! Why did I leave India? I fell in love with a white man. That's what it was. It was the most boring, predictable reason in the world. I met him in India, we fell in love, and we got married. And then, we got divorced. Sorry about that.
Deepa Mehta
#45. He was one of your wicked, fascinating men. After he got married he left off being fascinating and just kept on being wicked.
L.M. Montgomery
#46. Girlfriends are not wives. I draw the line at married women. Actually, women married to men with guns. If someone's girlfriend wants to make herself available, that's her business. Just don't give my name to your boyfriend.
Jack Dancer
#47. I have lots of friends and, like me, they're not married. So my kids have lots of godparents - men and women, gay and straight. My loft is always filled with people helping me out with them and loving them.
Edie Falco
#48. If he's been married for 31 years, he's not the same man.
Groucho Marx
#49. Since I've turned 50, I've had the best roles of my life, and I've got married. Everyone said that wasn't possible because there are no men, but I've done it. I think it's just going to get better.
Lesley Nicol
#50. You've got two witnesses here. Happiness is a wholeness issue. If you want to be happy, you need to be whole. If you want to be married, you simply need a mate. If you want to be happily married, you need to be a whole person married to another whole person.
Michelle McKinney Hammond
#51. It was 1981. I was working on a novel. And I put that novel aside one day after I read a newspaper article. The story said there were 19 women still on the pension payroll who were Confederate war widows. They were women who very early in their lives had married very old men.
Allan Gurganus
#52. I don't believe you should be a virgin when you get married,' Sera said. 'You should experiment. Men do'
'Yes, but only if you're in love with them,' I said.
Melina Marchetta
#53. Aristotle maintained that women have fewer teeth than men; although he was twice married, it never occurred to him to verify this statement by examining his wives' mouths.
Bertrand Russell
#54. A dog is much like a married man, obeying his master's voice for the sake of his master's touch.
Robert Breault
#55. When I was younger I thought I'd meet the man of my dreams, get married and have a child, but it all went higgledy-piggledy. Never say never, though ...
Anna Friel
#56. He had married (as most young men did) because he had met a perfectly charming girl at the moment when a series of rather aimless sentimental adventures were ending in premature disgust; and she had represented peace, stability, comradeship, and the steadying sense of an unescapable duty.
Edith Wharton
#57. Women didn't come into men's rooms and sink into men's Humes. Women brought laundry and took your seat in the street-car and married you later on when you were old enough to know fetters.
F Scott Fitzgerald
#58. I'm married but the special man is my dog, Henry.
Ana Gasteyer
#59. Anyone who knows how difficult it is to keep a secret among three men - particularly if they are married - knows how absurd is the idea of a worldwide secret conspiracy consciously controlling all mankind by its financial power; in real, clear analysis.
Oswald Mosley
#60. I once looked in the mirror at myself and noticed that, without a doubt, I am a sexy man. In fact, I don't think I'll ever get married ... it just wouldn't be fair for my spouse to catch me enjoying a look in the mirror more than having sex with her.
Zach Braff
#61. Men could be faithful to a job, to their friends. Hell, they would even be loyal to their dog before they were faithful to their wives. That was why she had sworn never to get married.
Jamie Begley
#62. I do see myself settling down, getting married and having kids. But when I think about a family life in the future there's rarely a man involved which is kind of weird.
Amy Winehouse
#63. She said she married an architect, who kept her warm and safe and dry. She would like to say she loved the man, but she didn't like to lie.
Dan Fogelberg
#64. All the best women are married
all the handsome men are gay
Robbie Williams
#65. If you want to have a career, my advice is don't get married. You think things have changed and there's some kind of gender equality now, that men are different, but I've got news for you. They're not.
Jeffrey Eugenides
#66. A man marries one woman to escape from many others, and then chases many others to forget he's married to one.
Helen Rowland
#67. If a man dreams about sleeping with Marilyn Monroe, he's certainly entitled to that. But when he wakes up, he has to acknowledge that he is married to someone else.
Daniel Barenboim
#68. In pre-colonial Africa, men who had sexual relationship with older men almost always married a woman later in life and had children. Exclusive homosexuality would not have been and is still not a viable option for Africans who value wealth and patronymic extension through marriage.
Chantal Zabus
#69. I'm not saying to be happy you must be married. Nor am I saying that to be happy you need children. I'm saying that if you opt for children - be you man or woman - you have to take care of them.
Barbara Bush
#70. Men who want to get married
propose. You don't need to read the signs. They propose and that's the sign.
Sophie Kinsella
#71. I know this is painful for the ladies to hear, but if you get married, you have accepted the headship of a man, your husband. Christ is the head of the household and the husband is the head of the wife, and that's the way it is, period.
Pat Robertson
#72. It'll always bother you, wondering what you missed out on," Merrin said now. "That's how men are. I'm just being practical. I'm not waiting to get married to you so I can fight through your midlife affair with our babysitter. I'm not going to be the reason for your regrets.
Joe Hill
#73. The happily married man with a large family is the test pilot for me.
Nevil Shute
#74. I see little hope for a peaceful world until men are excluded from the realm of foreign policy altogether and all decisions concerning international relations are reserved for women, preferably married ones.
W. H. Auden
#75. They had learned that Sorhatani expected the same sort of instant obedience as her husband. She had grown up around men of power and had married into the great khan's family at a very young age. She knew that men prefer to follow, that it takes an effort of will to lead. She had that will.
Conn Iggulden
#76. Emerson is a remarkable person, considering that he is a man. Which is not saying a great deal.
Elizabeth Peters
#77. At eleven, Kate woke Jake up when she went searching in the cooler for juice.
"You know, you used to be peaceful," he grumbled.
"I can't believe you were ever married." Kate said, as she cracked the can open. "What did you do, make her stand in the corner all the time?
Jennifer Crusie
#78. ...that is how marriages take place. If you left it up to men, they would never get there. Nobody would be married. You have to remind men to get married.
Alexander McCall Smith
#79. That's what my mother did. And my father was the first person she'd met who treated her kindly. She was terrified of men, and she married a very meek, kind, dear man. And she had the upper hand. She ruled the roost.
Lynn Johnston
#80. Minds me of a married woman who was very proud of her virtue. She slept with other men only when her husband was away.
Robert A. Heinlein
#81. Two homes on either side of the road saw
Two women waving a good bye to their men
One was a newly married husband
Other was a proud son of a widow
Bhavik Sarkhedi
#82. And what would happen to my illusion that I am a force for order in the home if I wasn't married to the only man north of the Tiber who is even untidier than I am?
Katharine Whitehorn
#83. Men don't feel the urge to get married as quickly as women do because their clothes all button and zip in the front. Women's dresses usually button and zip in the back. We need men emotionally and sexually, but we also need men to help us get dressed.
Rita Rudner
#84. And yes, she had a laminated list of her top ten sexiest men who she apparently would always be allowed to sleep with even if she was married.
Natasha Boyd
#85. The way I see it, men and women oughtn't to get married just because. You should marry when you're really truly in love, forever. When you've found the one girl you'd most want in the whole world. If you haven't got that, then best not to marry at all , I think.
Claudia Gray
#86. If he's getting married, he's not longer interesting.
Colette
#87. Men are my hobby, if I ever got married I'd have to give it up.
Mae West
#88. The highest happiness on earth is marriage. Every man who is happily married is a successful man even if he has failed in everything else.
William Lyon Phelps
#89. Actually I am the one to blame. I was the one who had said that maybe I would be married in two years time. But things are different now and there is still time before I get married. As the saying goes, 'Man proposes, God disposes', every time we make a plan God changes it.
Katrina Kaif
#90. You may marry the man of your dreams, ladies, but fourteen years later you're married to a couch that burps.
Roseanne Barr
#91. Grandchildren don't make a man feel old; it's the knowledge that he's married to a grandmother.
J. Norman Collie
#92. Being married does not necessarily mean being appreciated; some men treat their girlfriends, and some treat their mistresses, way better than some treat their wives. (What's more, some men treat their mistresses way better than they treat their wives)
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
#93. If we hold the married man accountable for finances gone legally awry, then the married woman should be held accountable for children who go awry.
Warren Farrell
#94. Again she repeated that she would never get married, never ever. She said that for her a man always existed in books, that she would spend the rest of her life with Mr. Darcy - even in the books, there were few men for her.
Azar Nafisi
#95. I've never had a dislike for men. I've been badly treated by some. But I've been loved greatly by some. I married a lot of them.
Maya Angelou
#96. A bachelor has to have an inspiration for making love to a woman
a married man needs only an excuse.
Helen Rowland
#97. Who do you think has more freedom: the married man in America or the single man in Communist China?
Larry David
#98. I'm married, which means that instead of occasionally wondering about men from afar, I actually live with one and can be constantly astounded by the strange male brain.
Cathy Guisewite
#99. The most happy women within their homes are those who have married sensible men. The latter suffer themselves to be governed with so much the more pleasure, as they are always masters of themselves.
Michel, 14th Prince Of Ligne
#100. I thought, men who changed their names were likely to be con-men, criminals, undercover agents or magicians, whereas women who changed their names were probably just married.
Margaret Atwood
