Top 100 Quotes About Diapers
#2. So: this is where we are going to become parents. You walk into the building as a couple, and leave a few minutes later as a family. You walk in recollecting long romantic dinners, nights at the theater, and care-free vacations. You leave worrying about where to get diapers, milk, and Cheerios.
Scott Simon
#3. I met Cynthia when I was 12, proposed at 16, became engaged at 17, married her at 19 and we had a baby when I was 20. If extra work could pay for a lot of diapers, that was for me.
Kent McCord
#4. You can take care of him," she insisted. This was madness. This was a true example of temporary insanity.
"I can't."
"Why not?" She demanded.
"Umm ... I don't ... like ... " I couldn't say diapers. I had my own baby! "I don't like ... black ... babies ...
L.D. Davis
#5. I'M SCURRYING AROUND THE HOUSE, TRYING TO DECIDE WHAT I should pack (cloth diapers, knitted booties, cotton jumpers?) and what I should leave behind (cloth diapers, knitted booties, cotton jumpers?) when I'm stopped in my tracks by the lowing and braying of the animals in the barn.
Megan McCafferty
#6. I'm pretty sure that changing diapers of all sizes isn't the kind of women's work Betty Friedan had in mind, nor Linda Hirshman.
Sandra Tsing Loh
#7. We were wearing diapers at the same time. We didn't grow up together, however. I was in the crib, and she was playing cribbage in the nursing home.
Jarod Kintz
#8. I do not really think Charlie knows much more about politics, history, or economics than I do. Like myself he was hit by a make-up towel almost before he was out of diapers.
Buster Keaton
#9. We've been through all this a thousand times. I won't subject myself to the indignities of pregnancy. I won't swish crap-laden diapers around in a toilet bowl ten times a day. Let someone else populate the earth. I'm not about to split off my soul, like some damned amoeba.
Clive Cussler
#10. An imaginary baby is so much easier than a real baby. No diapers to change.
Sufjan Stevens
#11. What the hell was it about e-mail that made everybody forget the stuff they learned in second grade, like capitalizing I and proper names, and using periods? Hello? We all learned how to do this less than five years out of diapers!
MaryJanice Davidson
#12. What people might find surprising: I taught my wife to change diapers when we had our first.
Jorge Posada
#13. Having twin girls is a life changer - that's for sure. But I like getting up and changing diapers. It's the things you do.
Roger Federer
#14. You can put on a mask and a costume for the rest of the world, but you can't hide from the people who changed your diapers.
Lisa Unger
#15. Politicians and diapers should be changed frequently, and for the same reason.
Eca De Queiros
#16. Kate lowered her nose to Emily's head and breathed in Johnson's baby shampoo, a hormonal cocktail that among women who have children not long out of diapers drew the Pavlovian, ANOTHER.
Nichole Bernier
#17. The incarnation is a kind of vast joke whereby the Creator of the ends of the earth comes among us in diapers ... Until we too have taken the idea of the God-man seriously enough to be scandalized by it, we have not taken it as seriously as it demands to be taken.
Frederick Buechner
#18. You learn a lot though when you have kids, I'll tell you what. Did you know when a baby poops its diapers, you're not supposed to hit him with a rolled-up newspaper?
Larry The Cable Guy
#19. I realized I'd be stuck doing all the hard stuff," she reasoned. "All the diapers and doctors' appointments and discipline, and you'd just breeze in and be Fun Daddy. I'd do all the work to make them good people, and you'd undo it anyway, and they'd love you and hate me.
Gillian Flynn
#20. One of the most important things to remember about infant care is: don't change diapers in midstream.
Don Marquis
#21. My wife is a saint. She's Gandhi. She walks around in diapers and won't eat.
Bob Saget
#22. Men will now get up and walk with the baby in the middle of the night, change its diapers, and give it a bottle, but in their heart of hearts they still think they shouldn't have to.
Rita Rudner
#23. Women find ways to give sense and meaning to daily life
ways to be useful in the community, to keep mind active and soul growingeven while they change diapers and cook vegetables.
Lillian B. Rubin
#24. I poop in the backyard ... I wear disposable diapers.
David Duchovny
#25. But homosexuality is a combat divider, dividing one's reason to live while taking breaks on the combat field to change diapers all because their treacherous sin causes them to lose control of their bowels.
Gordon Klingenschmitt
#26. What do diapers and politicians have in common? A: They both need changing regularly - for exactly the same reason.
Various
#27. Snap judgments? I'd gotten over those about the time I was toilet trained. Swore off diapers and faith in the human experience all in one week.
Rob Thurman
#28. He will change diapers, of course he will. He is going to be a very hands-on father.
Beyonce Knowles
#29. It had been my experience that fatherhood was mostly a matter of suffering the insufferable, tolerating the intolerable, and changing diapers.
Jeff Lindsay
#30. I guess in all of the obvious ways. I can afford more diapers for my children. If I want to buy a complete set of Garbage Pail Kids on Ebay I don't have to ask my wife so hard. For the most part, it's mostly the same. I keep my head down and I just work on comics for most of the time.
Robert Kirkman
#31. There's no better way to unplug than having children. Changing diapers is one of the most leveling things that has ever happened to me.
Andrew Lincoln
#32. I've dug so deep into his background, I can practically tell you when he stopped waring diapers.
C.C. Hunter
#33. From adult diapers to bedpans? Move over, Elvis, I'm the afterlife of the party!
Rachel Vincent
#34. Dengar guffaws. "You little scrap-muncher. I was putting away bounties while you were still in your space diapers." "What's it say about you that you're still in your space diapers?
Chuck Wendig
#35. I come from a long line of body snatchers, probably the top-notch body snatchers in America. No make that the world. Some people might think it's gross digging up bones or corpses, but who asked them? It's no big deal, but then I've been doing it since I got out of diapers.
Minda Webber
#36. Politicians should be changed regularly, like diapers, and for the same reason.
Richard Davies
#37. Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
Eca De Queiros
#38. No one's raising children any more. To love a child, you've got to work for it. You have to change its diapers and feed it at night!
Lauren Hutton
#39. I don't know that I'm going to entirely do cloth diapers. I'd like to be ambitious about it, but in all honesty, I can't say that I will.
Lisa Ling
#40. The Boy Scouts might have the motto "Be Prepared," but where I grew up, you practically went straight from diapers to manhood.
Phil Robertson
#41. Minds, like diapers, need occasional changing.
Karen Cushman
#42. At the Superdome, a young man came up to me holding a baby. He'd run out of diapers. He'd run out of medicine. His baby was sick. The guy's saying, 'Help me! Take my baby.' What could I do? That's the definition of helpless.
Ray Nagin
#43. When I sent those scripts, that was the lowest point of my life. We'd just had our second son, and when I went to collect them from hospital, I went to the bank to try and get some money to buy some diapers, the screen showed I've got $26 left.
Ang Lee
#44. I've raised Michael. I changed his diapers when he was little.
Jackie Jackson
#45. If you smell baby diapers in a wine that smells like strawberries to me, that's OK. The winery isn't putting either in the wine.
Ray Johnson
#46. I suffered from a mild case of postpartum depression after my second child and the physical challenge of maintaining an overnight shift at CBS, a marriage, and two in diapers made the symptoms worse and everyone in the house paid the price.
Mika Brzezinski
#47. You have to change those diapers every day. When those directions on the side of the Pampers box say, 'holds 6-12 pounds' they're not kidding!
Jeff Foxworthy
#48. Men should always change diapers. It's a very rewarding experience. It's mentally cleansing. It's like washing dishes, but imagine if the dishes were your kids, so you really love the dishes.
Chris Martin
#49. He turned her in his arms and gazed into the eyes of the woman he'd met over diapers and baby food and fallen in love with one second at a time ever since.
Melissa Foster
#50. Literature simply becomes richer after you've been fired, rejected, stranded, or had to change a few midnight diapers.
Christian Bauman
#51. She was wearing her fuzzy pink hat and she was happy, which was so obnoxious. She'd become one of those people who waltzed through life without so much as a split end, and I was still one of those people who changed diapers for free but still got treated like a rented mule.
Lorraine Zago Rosenthal
#52. I don't believe in that kind of American John Wayne individualism where people pull themselves up by their bootstraps. Someone changed your diapers. And if that's the case, you ain't self-made.
Michael Eric Dyson
#53. Always remember your kid's name. Always remember where you put your kid. Don't let your kid drive until their feet can reach the pedals. Use the right size diapers ... for yourself. And, when in doubt, make funny faces.
Amy Poehler
#54. Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.
Mark Twain
#55. Seriously, far beyond whether you have a natural birth or not, use cloth diapers or don't, opt to breastfeed or use formula, the two most important things that will influence your child's upbringing are your relationship with God and your relationship with your spouse.
Katherine Ladny Mitchell
#56. I'm not a mama's boy or anything. I'm a full-grown man who only occasionally wears diapers (you have to in an EVA suit).
Andy Weir
#57. It's time for a 21st-century retirement age. If 40 is the new 20 and 50 is the new 30, why shouldn't 70 be the new 65? The last time Washington politicians tinkered ever so gingerly with the government-sanctioned retirement age, Ronald Reagan was in office and Generation X-ers were all in diapers.
Michelle Malkin
#58. With two little boys in diapers, I had to keep it simple if I were going to have a life at all.
Esther Williams
#59. Winning the green jacket is great - I can pay for all the diapers I'm going to have to get.
Bubba Watson
#60. The real Michael Jackson that has not been seen ... with children, one in diapers, the other two toddlers.
Geraldo Rivera
#61. If you were out of a job and your kid needed diapers and your husband just left you, you would be so confused.
Barbara Steele
#62. Now it's not D.T.F., It's now, diapers, tantrums and formula.
Pauly D
#63. We in the Western world suffer from too many categories and classes; we've forgotten that we all still have diapers on. We've separated music from life.
Ornette Coleman
#64. His latest job [My Dad] had been as a truck driver, picking up and delivering diapers. For months, he had complained bitterly about the odor and the mess, saying it was the worst job in the world. But now that he had lost it, he seemed to want it back.
Howard Schultz And Dori Jones Yang
#65. I love the smell of diapers; I even like when they're wet and you smell them all warm liked a baked good. Love it.
Sarah Jessica Parker
#66. Our marriage is like anybody's marriage, It goes through ups and downs. It's a little garden that you have to tend all the time. When we're home, it's not like we walk around all dolled up going, We are celebrities! We are famous! I change diapers. I clean up dog doo.
Bruce Willis
#67. Lloyd Alexander's tales were written and published when I was in diapers. Decades later, they remain utterly timeless for me. I cannot recommend them enough.
James A. Moore
#68. Leave my diapers moist in the back seat of your Rolls Royce
Kool Keith
#69. I didn't expect babies to need so many diapers. Nobody told me they needed to be changed so often.
Shakira
#70. Then there's everything else. There are a ton of little things to keep in mind - having the right diapers on hand, ensuring you get their medicines, understanding their bed times, how they like their baths - a million things that are both unique to the child.
William Gregory
#71. As we have seen again and again, when Amazon doesn't get the economic conditions from suppliers that it seeks, it simply goes its own way. In the book business, that has meant publishing its own titles under the various Kindle imprints. Now it's making diapers.
Brad Stone
#72. Normal, perhaps, but disgusting. He'd thought diapers were bad. The barfing was arguably worse. Maybe it was an early warning sign of alcoholism: the girl would chugalug an entire bottle at one sitting, and then she'd hurl - and then she'd pass out.
Judith Arnold
#73. Intelligence, in diapers, is invisible. And when it matures, out the window it flies. We have to pounce on it earlier.
Stanislaw Jerzy Lec
#74. I actually enjoyed changing diapers and I enjoyed swaddling. I don't mind being swaddled either, on occasion.
Jason Bateman
#75. We are at the tail end of a decline in infant mortality that began just over a century ago. Babies no longer wander into open hearths or are mauled by marauding pigs. We have vaccines, lead-free educational toys, diapers that can sop up a typhoon. But we have never been more worried.
Nicholas Day
#77. Look at airport security now. What started out as definite racial profiling is now where the computer picks a name. That's why you get a seven-month-old getting a pat down. [Imitates a security officer.] "Check the diapers. They're full."
Robin Williams
#78. Being a mother is the perfect experience for any writer. You learn how to not waste time. The writing hours become incredibly precious and concentrated because the rest of your day is completely packed with diapers, edible liquid foods that look like pooh, tiny bathtubs, and unconditional love.
Chiara Barzini
#79. I have American in-laws, and I care about the environment. We don't use disposable diapers, which, of course, creates an environmental problem of our own.
Yakov Smirnoff
#80. Congressmen are like diapers - You need to change them often, and for the same reason
Pete McCloskey
#81. I didn't know you had to change diapers so often. I couldn't believe it - we must change them 10 times a day - each. So that's 20 diapers a piece a day.
Stanley Tucci
#82. I have two kids in diapers and a cat whose litter box I clean out. I deal with an awful lot of crap.
George W. Buck
#83. Is it possible that my sons-in-law will do toilets? If we raise boys to know that diapers need to be changed and refrigerators need to be cleaned, there's hope for the next generation.
Anne Roiphe
#84. In the land of Cheerios, dirty diapers, fleeting naps and interrupted sleep, other mothers are a lifeline.
Susan Chira
#85. Jack had been my best friend since we'd been in diapers,
Liliana Hart
#86. I work at a retirement home. I'm a CNA."
"What's that?"
"It stands for Certified Nursing Assistant."
"That sounds important," I said.
She laughed. "If changing old people's diapers is important."
I thought for a moment, then said, "It is for the old people.
Richard Paul Evans
#87. Tell the children to do all their business before they come over. I do not change diapers.
Sophie Oak
#88. I was husband for a week. Changed the baby's diapers. There's somebody in a suburb in Melbourne who doesn't even know i wiped his ass
Keith Richards
#89. Never complain. When I did, my mother said that if I didn't like my life, I could just give up and die. She reminded me that when I was inside her, I told her that I wanted to be born, so she delivered me, breastfed me and changed my diapers. She said that I had to be brave.
Hiroo Onoda
#90. I'll tell you my routine - it's really exciting. I feed, I burp, I change diapers, I pump. And then I have a tiny window of time to myself.
Marcia Cross
#91. In the period where I had to live the life of a citizen - a life where, like everybody else, I did tons of laundry and cleaned toilet bowls, changed hundreds of diapers and nursed children - I learned a lot.
Patti Smith
#92. I'm not saying looting is good, ... But I'm saying surely at a time when your child needs diapers and you need food, when does looting stop ...
Bill Cosby
#93. Please consult your child's Witch doctor before using this product. Diapers may cause severe allergies, internal bleeding, and irreversible sex change.
Kenya Wright
#94. Cinderella and the prince
lived, they say, happily ever after,
like two dolls in a museum case
never bothered by diapers or dust,
never arguing over the timing of an egg,
never telling the same story twice ...
Anne Sexton
#95. I do not understand what makes mothers think they are walking-talking thermometers.But I think somewhere during the process of giving birth and changing diapers, they actually begin to belive they have this supernatural sense.
Melody Carlson
#96. Still waiting for them to make reversible diapers, maybe with teflon coating ...
Neil Leckman
#97. Suddenly we have a baby who poops and cries, and we are trying to calm, clean up, and pin things together all at once. Then as fast as we learn to cope
so soon
it is hard to recall why diapers ever seemed so important. The frontiers change, and now perhaps we have a teenager we can't reach.
Polly Berrien Berends
#98. Politicians are a lot like diapers. They should be changed frequently, and for the same reasons.
Benjamin Franklin
#100. The only time you can change someone is when they are in diapers.
Kris Carr
