Quotes About A Joke

#1. I think the thrust of any child is to try to fit in and be part of it. And I can't tell you how many times my humor, you know, what I thought was humor ended up making me the outsider. Like I'd be, I go, 'It's a joke.' And they'd go, 'Well, what was funny?' And they just thought I was insane.

Howie Mandel

#2. What do we care, if the world is a joke? We'll give it a big kiss, we'll give it a poke. Death wears a big hat cause he's a big bloke.

Elvis Costello

#3. Ronan and Gansey were laughing, he thought, at a joke where the rest of the world was the punch line.

Maggie Stiefvater

#4. Do you want me to apologize after every joke? If it doesn't offend somebody it's probably not a joke. It's probably an observation that's not funny. It's gotta offend somebody somewhere.

Jeff Ross

#5. And when a joke is powerful enough, you don't laugh, you scream. Yes, when the mask slips you scream out loud for all the terror in the world, and I screamed then.

Matt Haig

#6. There's no real formula for doing it, it's either just living life and writing down a joke you think of in the middle of the day and then pieces those together later.

Jeff Dunham

#7. His eyeballs look like he bought them in a joke shop.

Denis Johnson

#8. Candidates should be extremely cautious in displaying a sense of humor. If he or she tells a joke with a point, there is almost certain to be some minority group offended.

Jack Germond

#9. A sparrow lay dead on the backseat. She had found her way through a hole in the windscreen, tempted by some seat-sponge for her nest. She never found her way out. No one noticed her panicked car-window appeals. She died on the backseat, with her legs in the air. Like a joke.

Arundhati Roy

#10. I am a joke told
again.

Charles Bukowski

#11. The basic formula for drama is setup, buildup, payoff - just like a joke. The

Anne Lamott

#12. I'm not big on fat jokes. That's a little beneath me. I'm not a huge fan of making a joke - and as I say this, I'm sure I do it - completely at someone else's expense.

Michael Showalter

#13. I wouldn't want to be defined so much by comics or cartoons. My work is more narrative than that. If you take your basic cartoon, there's always a punchline or a joke at the end. My drawings don't depend on that so much.

Raymond Pettibon

#14. I worked at a hot dog place, a bagel place, the Jersey Store and the hottest fashion joint around. I was getting too famous to work there anymore. I was almost showing up as a joke. I made $2,000 on my show the previous night and I'm going to go shopping during my five-hour shift.

Wale

#15. I don't worry about the last shot or the next shot. I concentrate. Every shot gets a clean slate. And when a shot is over, I wipe it out absolutely. Tell a joke or something. If you worry about how you looked, how well you did, you'll go insane.

Michael Caine

#16. I stumbled on a joke idea and style that worked, the audience went with it and, from that moment on, I was hooked. It's an amazing feeling.

Marcus Brigstocke

#17. At the same time, we can't blame comedians for taking time to learn. Any critic of comedy who believes that he has always, universally, been on the right side of justice is engaging in a hypocrisy that is itself a joke.

Guy Branum

#18. I think I have a good sense of humor, but I'm not, like, a joke-teller. I get the jokes, which is sometimes half the battle. Believe me, I have no idea why anyone hires me ...

Mila Kunis

#19. I got to draw shapes. I really like to draw funky, geometric shapes. And I got to use just different fonts and make a joke of how feminine it was, but it didn't even have people in it. To me, it was so exciting and interesting to do that for a while.

David Rees

#20. When someone pitches a joke for a character that is just perfect, and you can imagine that actor reading that line at your table read or on the set, it's like the sound of a snap snapping into place.

Michael Schur

#21. When I'm up on stage and do a joke, half the people interpret it one way and half of them interpret it the way I want them to.

Maria Bamford

#22. Did you hear about the cat that ate the ball of yarn?" Mason asked. "No." She was already smiling. Mason Riley was telling her a joke. "It had mittens.

Erin Nicholas

#23. We claim no respectability. There's no status I would not surrender for a joke. So we don't have to defend anything.

Stephen Colbert

#24. Guys like this Henry always pushed even the most unfunny joke two steps too far . . . then looked wounded and misunderstood when someone yelled at them. And it was always Wassa matter? and it was Can'tcha take a joke? and it was Why don'tcha lighten up a little?

Stephen King

#25. A leg?" repeated Detective Inspector Eric Wardle on the end of the line. "A fucking leg?"
"And it's not even my size," said Strike, a joke he would not have made had Robin been present.

Robert Galbraith

#26. I'm sorry, Hen. I still have feelings for you. It's just that my band needs a real bass player now. We're not a joke band anymore. Okay, sweetie?'
That was how Petra Dostoyevsky fired me.

Daniel Ehrenhaft

#27. A man assumes that a woman's refusal is just part of a game. Or, at any rate, a lot of men assume that. When a man says no, it's no. When a woman says no, it's yes, or at least maybe. There is even a joke to that effect. And little by little, women begin to believe in this view of themselves.

Erica Jong

#28. The marvelous thing about a joke with a double meaning is that it can only mean one thing.

Ronnie Barker

#29. In all likelihood, Sonja had more academic journal subscriptions than friends. She could explain advanced calculus to her fifth-form algebra teacher but couldn't tell a joke to a boy at lunch.

Anthony Marra

#30. From the beginning, when something was wrong I've been saying: 'Dilly-ding, dilly-dong, wake up, wake up!' So on Christmas Day I bought for all the players and all the staff a little bell. It was just a joke.

Claudio Ranieri

#31. In France everything is a matter for jest. People make quips about the scaffold, about Napoleon's defeat on the banks of The Beresina, and about the barricades of our revolutions. So, at the assizes of the Last Judgment, there will always be a Frenchmen to crack a joke.

Honore De Balzac

#32. I'm aware that I should end a joke with the good part, I choose not too.

Daniel Tosh

#33. Almost every venerable tradition at a men's club starts out as a joke.

Joe Bob Briggs

#34. I'm not allowed to make a joke. It is a bit unfair how I'm treated. I thought it was a joke. I got calls and messages. I would rather not to have to worry about things like that. It is disappointing.

Andy Murray

#35. Hey, that's life, flick it off if you can't take a joke.

Neil Gaiman

#36. There's no amount of money that makes you feel better when people think of you as a joke or a hack or a failure or ugly or stupid or morally empty.

Patrick Stump

#37. The high-handed bureaucratic excesses of the IRS are a national disgrace ... riding roughshod over the taxpayers and making a joke out of our rule of laws.

Paul Laxalt

#38. As she
drove me through the hills everything screamed inside of
me, and I kept saying as we drove along
(to myself, of course)
fucker, it will pass,
everything passes,
it's all a joke
a joke on you

Charles Bukowski

#39. It is too dangerous to meddle in the marriage of princes,' he muttered as he withdrew. Arundel made a joke at his expense, saying 'He lost his post as Chancellor that day, for the Queen had usurped it,' which drew wry laughter from the deputation.

Alison Weir

#40. When will someone write from the point of view of a joke, that is to say the
way God sees events from above?

Gustave Flaubert

#41. You've got to face facts and the fact is life is a joke, a fucking bad joke, or, no, a bad fucking joke. There's no point taking it seriously because whatever happens, and I mean whatever the fuck, the punch line is the same: you go out horizontally. You see the point? No fucking point.

Jeet Thayil

#42. I'm not freakishly short. I had, on my show, used shortness as a joke subject; it didn't really bother me.

Dick Cavett

#43. Completely committed to adapting 'Fifty Shades of Grey'. This is not a joke. Christian Grey and Ana: potentially great cinematic characters.

Bret Easton Ellis

#44. The clown knows that life is cruel. The ancient jester's motley coloured costume turned his usually melancholy expression in to a joke. The clown is used to loss. Loss is his prologue.

John Berger

#45. People do kill themselves, you know, Miranda, when they think their whole reason for living is being taken away from them. Even the fact that other people think their suffering is a joke isn't enough to shake them out of it.

Robert Galbraith

#46. I have to admit my Elomi bridal lingerie was exquisite. I'd been so certain it would wow Chris, spur him into some post-matrimonial lustfulness. What a joke. A strap-on might have been a better idea.

Kylie Scott

#47. [Writing a joke] there is no team of writers. It's just you in an office, staring at yourself in the mirror.

Jimmy Fallon

#48. Don't piss me off, Abel, or I'll blast you with my blue light, she shot back, and it wasn't entirely a joke.

Kristen Ashley

#49. All producers encourage you, whatever it is, to make it more-so. If you've got a joke, can it be funnier? If you've got an action sequence, can it be more exciting? That's the nature of being a producer.

Walter Hill

#50. Comedy and tragedy are basically the same thing. Comedy is just the art of making light of life's sufferings. Turning all your pain into a joke.

Katie Kacvinsky

#51. Like all women, I've had a pretty awful time in many ways, but it's always possible to either make a joke or find someone else.

Emma Tennant

#52. People are mad a Donald Trump for allegedly making a joke about Megyn Kelly having her period. Trump said, 'Trust me, I know what goes on down there, because I'm a huge douche.'

Conan O'Brien

#53. A caricature is putting the face of a joke on the body of a truth.

Joseph Conrad

#54. The Canadian-Australian mathematician Norman Wildberger has posted an essay arguing that real numbers are a joke.

Max Tegmark

#55. Dominic Sherwood would always tell me a joke right before it was my take or my close up. He'd say a funny joke, and I couldn't stop laughing, even after they said, 'Action.'

Emeraude Toubia

#56. I don't think I would be a good politician. I kid about it when I get a standing ovation. Sometimes I'll say, "I may run for Governor," but it's strictly a joke.

Liberace

#57. The Nobel Peace Prize has always been a joke - albeit a grim one. Alfred Bernhard Nobel famously invented dynamite and felt sorry about it.

P. J. O'Rourke

#58. The world was not supportive. They look at me as a joke for 13 to 14 years until I could prove feasibility; then I had competitors. Those that laughed at me became my competitors.

Ada Yonath

#59. I worked in a paper mill all my adult life and there were a lot of funny guys there. So you pick up on that. Even though something really bad might have happened to somebody you can still make a joke out of it.

Donald Ray Pollock

#60. Never ever make a joke to the police, they have no sense of humour. Never make a political joke, it will always be considered an insult. Always remember that umbrage can be taken by the lift of an eyebrow. Remember that if offence can possibly be taken, it will be.

Dick Francis

#61. I am so pathetic with machines in real life, it's not a joke. I'd rather walk, or even run, than take the car out myself. I like to be driven around. Yes, I like fancy cars, and fancy bikes, too. It's my dream to learn how to ride one myself, but for now, I am content being driven around.

Bipasha Basu

#62. For comedians, we're all kind of tweeting our thoughts instead of spending time developing them. You can gauge how good a joke might be by how many times it gets retweeted, but it takes discipline to go back through the tweets and then develop jokes from them.

Natasha Leggero

#63. Arin wished Roshar wouldn't do this, wouldn't slip on false arrogance as if it were mourning garb worn in the service of a joke.

Marie Rutkoski

#64. I want someone that I can have fun with and laugh with. I love to laugh, and I'm really sarcastic, so it's important that she can take a joke. I think if you are going to be with someone for a while, you really need someone you can let loose with and let go of all the stress of the day.

Matt Lanter

#65. I'm a joke comic. I tell jokes.

Dave Attell

#66. I'll think of the idea and then I'll write something down, then within that there will be a joke or two which is the original thing which I thought was funny.

David Cross

#67. If you can't make a joke at a time like this, what's the point of living?

Chloe Neill

#68. I do have pleasure when I'm writing. I mean, I'm aware of pleasure. And sometimes I make myself laugh, with a joke or something; or I feel gleeful.

Peter Schjeldahl

#69. There is a kind of laughter people laugh at public events, as if a joke were a charity auction and they want to be seen to be bidding.

William McIlvanney

#70. Telling a joke is risk taking. Younger people are more insecure and not willing to put themselves on the line, so a quick one-liner is much safer.

Robert Orben

#71. I once told a journalist that girls call me 'Kitten,' but I couldn't have been more sarcastic, and no matter how many times I've said that it was a joke, it still doesn't go away.

Joaquin Phoenix

#72. Bettman is an asshole. A frikkin asshole. I think he's ruined the game of hockey. He's supposed to be impartial. He's supposed to speak for the good of the league, but in my opinion, he's strictly behind the owners. Those 1996 rule changes are a joke

Bob Probert

#73. Stewardesses were a joke to many of us coming of age in the liberated Sixties. They were no joke in the women's movement that liberated us, however.

Cathleen Schine

#74. My mom always liked the idea of us acting - me and my sister - like, one of us trying it. But my dad always thought it was a joke.

Matt Prokop

#75. Taking a call girl to an STD fair ... there's a joke here.

Donald Glover

#76. In a perfect
world I would be taller, you would be alive,
and chickens could cross the road without
being the subject of a joke.

Suzanne Wrightt

#77. As a kid, I was searching for my tribe of other people who saw through the matrix. Even as a kid I could never buy into the status quo. I just thought it was a joke; I couldn't believe other people weren't laughing at it.

RuPaul

#78. As for pictures and museums, that don't trouble me. The worst of going abroad is that you've always got to look at things of that sort. To have to do it at home would be beyond a joke.

Margaret Oliphant

#79. Nothing's a joke with me. It just all comes out like one.

Lorrie Moore

#80. One more optional piece of advice: If you ever have to give a speech, start with a joke, if you know one.

Kurt Vonnegut

#81. The most important thing in comedy - apart from empathy, which I think is important even if disguised - is surprise. I like surprising people with the fact that something's even a joke at all.

Ricky Gervais

#82. Everything about life is a joke. Don't you know that?

Kurt Vonnegut

#83. Some one is generally sure to be the sufferer by a joke.

William Hazlitt

#84. Every moment of life is unique-a kiss, a sunset, a dance, a joke. None will ever recur in quite the same way. Each happens only once in the history of the universe.

Stephen Nachmanovitch

#85. There's a joke in economics about the drunk who loses his keys in the street but only looks for them under the lightposts. When asked why, he says, 'because that's where the light is.' That's the problem with the deficit.

Christina Romer

#86. You do not respond to an attempt on your life with a slap on the hand. Or a joke.

Cinda Williams Chima

#87. The coming-of-age story has sort of become a joke. It's something to capitalize on, and that is painful because when you are coming of age - when you are going through something like that - the genre is so meaningful.

Mae Whitman

#88. Did Thomas the boring slinthead actually make a joke?

James Dashner

#89. Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.

Will Rogers

#90. It is a great rush to come up with a joke that gets a good response from the audience. It's gold!

Kevin Nealon

#91. I can take a joke," she tells me, sounding insulted.
"Yeah? When?"
"When it's not being delivered by a childish jackass who thinks he's God's gift to women."
"I am not childish." God's gift on the other hand? My record speaks for itself.
"Oh, bite me."
I wish.

Emma Chase

#92. Oh, I love critics. Because they love me. It's not a joke. They care.

Prince

#93. I never really feel like just standing there and telling jokes. I want to move around. In fact, it's hard for me to write a joke where I don't end up on the ground for some reason. Hey, at least that way, I know no comics will steal my jokes. Too many bruises.

Chris D'Elia

#94. I'm still no good at ball-and-stick games. If I go play golf with the guys, it's intended to be a joke.

Neil Peart

#95. One of my favorite things on the show was just getting to do my own monologue and talking about someone who killed themselves, or making a joke about some horrible tragedy - I love being able to fight for and get on TV. I just think it's so different.

Anthony Jeselnik

#96. People are learning to feel more comfortable hearing one another's dreams. It used to be that if you told a dream in public, someone had to make a joke to relieve the tension introduced by that alternative reality.

Henry Reed

#97. You can read Kant by yourself, if you wanted to; but you must share a joke with someone else.

Robert Louis Stevenson

#98. Being an author sucks, doesn't it? It's like telling a joke and nobody laughs for two years.

Scott Westerfeld

#99. From now on, no talking," Royce told him, having to shout to be heard over the wind as he hoisted the coil over his head.

Is that supposed to be a joke?

Michael J. Sullivan

#100. Once you realize what a joke everything is, being the Comedian is the only thing that makes sense.

Alan Moore