Michael Monroe Quotes

#1. A joke is a witticism or play on words that's meant to be funny. I say 'meant to be' because most jokes aren't funny. They range between mildly amusing and grimace-inducingly annoying.

Michael Monroe

#2. We don't want our politicians bending to the whims of whichever corporation has the money to pay them off.

Michael Monroe

#3. That's what you people do, isn't it? Make assumptions and sell them to impressionable idiots.

Michael Monroe

#4. A good friend is someone who gets ya drunk and then walks ya home afterwards.

Michael Monroe

#5. As far as I know, there's nothing more dangerous than a man who doesn't care if he lives or dies.

Michael Monroe

#6. A leader's first duty is to look after his or her people, especially those who are sick, hungry, or thirsty.

Michael Monroe

#7. Well one tiny poisonous spider can kill a very large man if it bites him in the right place.

Michael Monroe

#8. Don't stay with someone who drives you crazy. Find someone who keeps you sane.

Michael Monroe

#9. It was one of those dreams from which she woke up depressed about her reality, filled with a longing that pulled at her insides, wishing the dream could have lasted forever, or at least much longer than it had.

Michael Monroe

#10. We all end up dying in the end. It's just a question of how and when.

Michael Monroe

#11. Ask very pointed questions. Sharp as sword blades, or laser blasts, if you catch my meaning.

Michael Monroe

#12. You shouldn't say mean things to people before they kill you. It's being a sore loser.

Michael Monroe

#13. That was a double negative, Jemail. By saying that you haven't seen nobody, you're actually saying that you have seen somebody.

Michael Monroe

#14. Well you know what they say. It's always raining somewhere.

Michael Monroe

#15. The storage capacity of the average human brain is two-hundred and fifty-six exabytes. However, the average adult human only uses approximately one billionth of that storage space effectively. This means my knowledge capacity is approximately three thousand trillion times that of your average human.

Michael Monroe

#16. Money is a tool we use to reach certain ends. Nothing more, nothing less. It's hard to come by, though, so when opportunities arise, we need to make the most of them.

Michael Monroe

#17. We need to keep government small, but we also need to keep the influence of big business small, and we need to keep the power in the hands of the people, where it belongs. Big government and big business aren't the only two alternatives.

Michael Monroe

#18. Humans have been doin' awful things to each other throughout history. Humanity's not as great as you make it out to be. I do what needs to be done, and that's that. We're about to go to war, Earl. There ain't no humanity in war.

Michael Monroe

#19. Well, for one, you walk around like you're so much better than everyone else. We're all a bunch of soulless animals or somethin' in your eyes, I guess. You're the high and mighty one and I ain't fit to drink your piss.

Michael Monroe

#20. People didn't love all of this when they still had it. If you love something, you do what's best for it. You don't destroy it.

Michael Monroe

#21. Our world must be hell, then. It must be the hell of some other place where all of us committed atrocious sins of some sort, and now we're stuck here until we die and either come back or are whisked off to some other hell. It couldn't be worse than this one, though.

Michael Monroe

#22. He could argue a case for anything, but that doesn't change the fact he's wrong most of the time.

Michael Monroe

#23. Let them come. We've got helicopters, tanks, jets, and big guns. We've got armies of robots. What do they have but their stench and the squalor they live in?

Michael Monroe

#24. If the only option you leave poor people with is to resort to violence in order to survive, they'll do just that. And there are lots more poor people in this world than there are rich ones.

Michael Monroe

#25. You'll find a way. You'll always find a way. And on the rare occasions when you can't, you'll have friends who will.

Michael Monroe