Top 100 Dave Chappelle Quotes
#1. Every black American is bilingual. All of them. We speak street vernacular and we speak 'job interview.'
Dave Chappelle
#2. I still think people do have racial hang-ups, but I think one of the reasons I can joke about it is people are shedding those racial hatreds.
Dave Chappelle
#3. You can't get unfamous. You can get infamous but you can't get unfamous.
Dave Chappelle
#4. After a while, a joke, if you say it too much, just becomes contrived, or fake-sounding.
Dave Chappelle
#5. You've got to say 'yes' to your destiny. Life's happening right now, look around you. There goes some life. Come on, Mamma, live!
Dave Chappelle
#8. I felt in a lot of instances I was deliberately being put through stress because when you're a guy who generates money, people have a vested interested in controlling you.
Dave Chappelle
#9. I don't want the money. I don't want the drama. I just want to do my show. I want to have fun again.
Dave Chappelle
#10. I'm happier in the way a guy gets happier when he starts to mature. It doesn't make things easier, but I'm so much better at handling them.
Dave Chappelle
#11. I support anyone's right to be who they want to be. My question is: to what extent do I have to participate in your self-image?
Dave Chappelle
#12. I just like seeing people. I just like meeting people. I like finding out new walks of life and new ideas.
Dave Chappelle
#13. I wish I had more hands, so I could give those titties four thumbs down!
Dave Chappelle
#14. Something about New York, man: You can do more comedy there probably than you can anywhere in the world. If you're interested in being funny, New York is the place to go.
Dave Chappelle
#16. Why don't you click your heels three times and go back to Africa.
Dave Chappelle
#17. I think one artist to another artist, the best compliment you can pay one another, because the part of you that is inspired or creates something, to write a joke or a song, that's like the God-like part of a person.
Dave Chappelle
#18. The world can't tell you who you are. You've just got to figure out who you are and be there, for better or worse.
Dave Chappelle
#19. I want to tell my jokes. I want to have time with my children. I want to entertain people. And at one point, I'll walk away from show business. But I don't want to walk away empty-handed.
Dave Chappelle
#20. I have a very good life, a high quality of life. I have both money and time. No one has that.
Dave Chappelle
#21. I have angst in my life, but I'm like anybody. We all have angst in our lives that we pick up and fidget with and then we put down and look at some other things that make us feel good or enjoy our lives.
Dave Chappelle
#24. Weed's not as bad as everything else ... 'cause weed is a background substance. You know what I mean, you can smoke some herb and still function. You ain't crisp ... but you'll function.
Dave Chappelle
#25. Stand-up is the kind of gig that'll show you where you're at.
Dave Chappelle
#26. I get a little heated when I talk about the past. But I wanted to be clear - I'm not mad at anybody - not anymore.
Dave Chappelle
#27. I just always loved stand-up. It's like magic. You say something, and a whole room full of people laughs together. Say something else, they laugh again. The fact that people come to see that and participate in that ... I don't know, it's just like magic.
Dave Chappelle
#28. My wife asked me once if I weren't a comedian what I would do. I couldn't answer the question. I never imagined doing anything else.
Dave Chappelle
#29. My kids look actually happy. And I learned early on that perfectionism and parenthood is a toxic combination for everybody involved. In other words, so many things can flourish naturally. All you gotta do is make sure the soil's right. I view myself more like a guide than a ruler.
Dave Chappelle
#30. I want be a guest-star on as many television shows as I possibly can. I love television. The fact that television ultimately made me famous was very gratifying for me.
Dave Chappelle
#31. No one wants to get their ass beat to a soundtrack.
Dave Chappelle
#33. I was doing sketches that were funny but socially irresponsible. I felt I was deliberately being encouraged and I was overwhelmed.
Dave Chappelle
#34. Once you been performing on the streets you can conquer any venue.
Dave Chappelle
#35. Who goes from America to Africa for medical attention?
Dave Chappelle
#36. I always take a relationship to the next level. If that works out, I take it to the next level after that, until I finally reach that level when it becomes absolutely necessary for me to leave.
Dave Chappelle
#37. Where I'm from? A little town called none of yo god damn business.
Dave Chappelle
#38. You know you must be doing something right if old people like you.
Dave Chappelle
#39. I think extreme sports are really good for relieving stress.
Dave Chappelle
#40. My own life is accessible to people still. I could see a guy walking down the street and, even though I'm famous, I got more in common with this guy than, like, Brad Pitt.
Dave Chappelle
#43. I'm famous today. People like me today. Might not like me tomorrow. You can't count on it.
Dave Chappelle
#44. You know, be able to do something great in your life, you're gonna have to realize your failures. You're gonna have to embrace them and figure out how to overcome it.
Dave Chappelle
#46. I'm cool with failing so long as I know that there are people around me that love me unconditionally.
Dave Chappelle
#47. Because I was surrounded by so much negativity at some point that it took me going back and doing stand-up to realize, you know, people really like me.
Dave Chappelle
#48. The only thing harder than leaving show business is coming back.
Dave Chappelle
#49. I don't really frick with Africa cause people are starving to death and that's not ballin' to me.
Dave Chappelle
#50. New white people, you can't scare these white people, I tried.
Dave Chappelle
#51. If you don't have the right people around you and you're moving at a million miles an hour you can lose yourself.
Dave Chappelle
#54. They do what they do for money - that's all. I don't even know why you're listening to me. I've done commercials for both Coke and Pepsi. Truth is, I can't even taste the difference, but Pepsi paid me last, so there it is.
Dave Chappelle
#56. Listen, here it is: Technically, I never quit. I'm seven years late for work.
Dave Chappelle
#57. People don't know what it's like standing up there onstage, when you have a wall of people smiling at you.
Dave Chappelle
#58. Remember what the Bible says: He who is without sin, cast the first rock. And I shall smoketh it.
Dave Chappelle
#59. Fame for me is like a place, a country I'm taking a tour through.
Dave Chappelle
#60. The way the people around you position themselves around you to get in your pockets and in your mind is infuriating to me.
Dave Chappelle
#62. The mark of greatness is when everything before you is obsolete, and everything after you bears your mark.
Dave Chappelle
#63. I've done 10 or 11 pilots for network television, which is ridiculous.
Dave Chappelle
#64. I love the fact that I have a show where you can run over a kid and everyone busts out laughing.
Dave Chappelle
#65. I got real important relationships in my life that are very empowering relationships.
Dave Chappelle
#66. There's a lot of people who don't want anything from me but to laugh and have a good time. You see them at the show and they like - they dress up to come see your show and stuff. And they pack these auditoriums and it's a lot of fun, man. It's like, this is how I started, and it's still fun for me.
Dave Chappelle
#67. I care about the work I do. But I'm not going to say that money's not an issue.
Dave Chappelle
#68. Everyone around me says, You're a genius! You're great! That's your voice! But I'm not sure if they're right.
Dave Chappelle
#69. What is wrong with me i just bought a bag of weed from an infant.
Dave Chappelle
#70. You can become famous but you can't become unfamous. You can become infamous but not unfamous.
Dave Chappelle
#71. I think every group of black guys should have at least one white guy in it.
Dave Chappelle
#73. There's something about doing stand-up that's cathartic.
Dave Chappelle
#75. Being famous is great, it's not like bad or horrible or anything.
Dave Chappelle
#77. Somebody broke into my house once, this is a good time to call the police, but mm mm, nope. The house was too nice. It was a real nice house, but they'd never believe i lived in it. They'd be like 'He's still here!
Dave Chappelle
#78. The hardest thing to do is to be true to yourself, especially when everybody is watching.
Dave Chappelle
#79. The language you are about to hear ... is disturbing.
Dave Chappelle
#81. If you're Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston, and your marriage is breaking up - that's an awful thing. But to see that speculation in people, it's gotta sting a little bit.
Dave Chappelle
#82. Ralph Nader has slavery reparations on his platform, which makes me think he's not serious. If he thought he could win he wouldn't even say that.
Dave Chappelle
#83. The biggest enemy of an artist is apathy ... A kid gets killed by the police and I buy a T-shirt and before I can wear that one, there's another kid (killed) and I'm running out of closet space.
Dave Chappelle
#84. Money is the fuel for choices. Money gives me choices, so it's not nothing, it's something," he continued. "But it's not the end all, be all. There are other things in my life that I did not purchase with money that are very valuable.
Dave Chappelle
#85. One of the things that happens when people make the leap from a certain amount of money to tens of millions of dollars is that the people around you dramatically change.
Dave Chappelle
#86. The only way you can know where the line is, is if you cross it.
Dave Chappelle
#88. No matter how old you are, if a little kid hands you a toy phone ... you answer it.
Dave Chappelle
#89. I've been a comedian since I was fourteen. But I've never really been a CEO.
Dave Chappelle
#90. All white people talk about when they get high is other times that they got high.
Dave Chappelle
#91. I have all these weird fantasies. Going coast-to-coast on my motorcycle and having random barbecues all over America. No show, no nothing.
Dave Chappelle
#92. Whether it means having a show, or a movie, or just being on a stage, I need an avenue to say what I have to say.
Dave Chappelle
#93. If I put forth a legitimate effort, then I feel like, if that doesn't work out, that's all I can do.
Dave Chappelle
#96. Comedians by and large are some of the most sensitive people on earth. Even if they're socially callous.
Dave Chappelle
#97. I don't normally talk about my religion publicly because I don't want people to associate me and my flaws with this beautiful thing. And I believe it is beautiful if you learn it the right way.
Dave Chappelle
#99. If I can make a teacher's salary doing comedy, I think that's better than being a teacher.
Dave Chappelle
#100. Most people don't know what it's like to stand up there and speak their mind. I have a venue to do that. I get paid to do that. It's not like I'm doing heavy lifting up there. It's not like I'm solving the world's problems. It's like I'm hanging out with a bunch of people and it's cool.
Dave Chappelle
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