Top 100 Humor Love Quotes
#1. And what else is she?" Jerome asked. Jazza didn't offer any reply so I chimed in with, "A bitchweasel?"
"A bitchweasel!" Jazza's face lit up. "She's a bitchweasel! I love my new roommate.
Maureen Johnson
#2. People who have babies tell me I will know a love that is beyond anything I can imagine, and a joy that is indescribable. Love and joy? That sounds horrifying. I have no way of knowing whether I can handle either of those. I'm much better with need and fear. They are what ground me.
Marc Maron
#3. Remember, we're madly in love, so it's all right to kiss me anytime you feel like it.
Suzanne Collins
#4. Love makes the world go around, but so does a gallon of vodka and a box of Cuban cigars.
Lois Greiman
#5. Dill was in hearty agreement with this plan of action. Dill was becoming something of a trail anyways, following Jem about ... He only grew closer to Jem. (Lee 55)
Harper Lee
#6. Today the same thing over. I've got it up the tree again.
Mark Twain
#7. Real love is on the inside. It's somebody you have a common ground with, you share the same values, you share the same interests, you share the same humor, you share all those things that are things that will last you the rest of your life.
George Lucas
#8. Ay, but hearken, sir; though the chameleon Love can feed on the air, I am one that am nourished by my victuals, and would fain have meat.
William Shakespeare
#9. I knew it," she snapped. "You're no different from all men. You're just another jerk pretending to be single! I didn't wanna wrap a lie into a Christmas present anyway.
Maha Erwin
#10. You're a dead man," Kyle said. "Warren doesn't take kindly to people who hurt me.
Patricia Briggs
#11. My mate is really, really weird.
She is also absolutely covered in brown, mushy clay.
She laughs and holds a large lump up to show it to me. Her mouth moves, and she makes enough noise to scare away a group of birds near the shore.
She is so, so strange.
Shay Savage
#12. We're like the couple on the sitcom that has good sparks but never get together for the sake of ratings.
Aimee Bender
#13. Come forward as servants of Islam, organize the people economically, socially, educationally and politically and I am sure that you will be a power that will be accepted by everybody.
Muhammad Ali Jinnah
#15. I love your sense of humor and the fact you never ate grits before. There's so much I love about you that I know I'm in love with you. So, honey, you can have all my shirts you want.
J. Lynn
#16. Women want a lot of sex with the man they love; men want to have a lot of sex with a lot of different women.
Dermot Davis
#17. First thing is that I love you. And the second thing is that as much as I honor your former profession, I don't think your geese care much for your betrothed and I hope they hadn't any plans on sharing our bed.
Shannon Hale
#18. Camus said 'Love Lasts or Love Burns'. I want a Lasting Burn-just nothing requiring a series of painful treatments by a rubber-gloved Doctor
Josh Stern
#20. His motto is "Love Thy Neighbor". His neighbor is an 18 year old hooker.
Henny Youngman
#21. I know I only want him,' she said between sobs, the syllables all wrong, 'because he doesn't want me. How is that even possible?'
'It's normal to want what we can't have,' I said soothingly.
'No, I mean how can he not want me?
Olivia Sudjic
#22. Nothing makes sense, not that much of the world ever did."
Quote from the book: "UnHoly Pursuit: The Devil on My Trail.
A. White
#23. Oh, Hazel is awesome," Don Said. "She's so nice! All the other campers are like 'Go away Don.' But she's like 'Please go away, Don.' I love her!
Rick Riordan
#24. A life that partakes even a little of friendship, love, irony, humor, parenthood, literature, and music, and the chance to take part in battles for the liberation of others cannot be called 'meaningless' ...
Christopher Hitchens
#25. I had one friend with same-sex orientation, and Dana hadn't spoken to me since I asked her to describe her honeymoon in graphic detail - and then made vibrator noises.
Dani Alexander
#26. Cor, love a duck. And also Lawks-a-mercy. I said that inwardly, but outwardly I said, Blimey, and also, what larks.
Louise Rennison
#27. There's always someone we'd love to kill, the trick is to make it not look like an accident
Josh Stern
#28. Nobody think about that broken heart ... life goes on, broken heart never join together but it tries very hard to get joined again. That;swhy may be it said Heart is like a mirror, if its broken can never be joined.
Shahid Islam
#29. So you love me," said Petra softly when the kiss ended.
I'm a raging mass of hormones thet I'm too young to understand," said Bean. "You're a female of a closely related species. According to all the best primatologists, I really have no choice."
That's nice," she said ...
Orson Scott Card
#30. Clary made fun of him about his new look; but, then, Clary found everything about Simon's love life borderline hilarious.
Cassandra Clare
#31. You're some freaky shit, my brother. You really are
J.R. Ward
#32. Pardon me for not being willing to commit my entire future to you based on two kisses and a blueberry muffin.
Laura Lee Guhrke
#33. Suffer love! A good ephitet! I do suffer love indeed, for I love thee against my will.
William Shakespeare
#34. Infatuation is when you find somebody who is absolutely perfect. Love is when you realise that they aren't and it doesn't matter.
Sweetdreamer33
#35. Ling offered him the last slice of melon. "Sorry. I ate everything. I'm starving. I could eat a horse. And I love horses. Beautiful creatures. But I'd eat one whole. Raw."
"I'd settle for eggs and bacon," Gabriel said.
G.L. Breedon
#36. I'm terribly sorry, Fergal."
"What for? Marrying him? I should think you would be, Angel.
Trisha Ashley
#37. Marriage is the legal method devised to end love without pain.
Tom Morrison
#38. That cat was a spy. You had to take a pot shot at it. It was a very clever German midget dressed up in a cheap fur coat.
J.D. Salinger
#39. It was the first time I was ever in love, and I learned a lot. Before that I'd never even thought about killing myself.
Steven Wright
#40. Hit ain't sacrilege. Miss Effie Belle says when she cain't think what to have for dinner, she asts God and right off He gives her an idea. To my thinkin', thet's sacrilege."
Miss Love really laughed. "There's not a woman in the world who hasn't prayed what to cook for dinner, Rucker!
Olive Ann Burns
#41. Forget everything that surrounds you. Think that there's just you and me in this wide world.
Olga Goa
#42. I feel about John ['s gospel] like I feel about my wife; I love her very much, but I wouldn't claim to understand her.
(Following Jesus, p. 27.)
N. T. Wright
#43. Love is stronger than pain. In the parking lot behind the Dartbridge Library.
Virginia Bergin
#44. A woman could love a jackass. She could not love a son of a bitch. Many have tried, Gideon. Many have tried.
Deanna Raybourn
#45. Sometimes I think if I had to choose between an ear of corn or making love to a woman, I'd choose the corn.
Sara Gruen
#46. Why do you tell me you love me only when you're drunk or dreaming? she asked. I have awful timing, said Simon
Cassandra Clare
#47. Now let me teach you another thing about my daughter. I love her very much but she has the ability to hide as expertly as a sock in a washing machine. No one knows where it goes, just as no one knows where she goes, but at least when she decides to come back, we're all here, waiting for her.
Cecelia Ahern
#48. Evelyn: There's nothing wrong with embracing one's emotions.
Brittany: Mom, You don't just embrace your emotions, you make love to them hard-core.
Gena Showalter
#50. Nobody with any real sense of humor *can* write a love story ... Shakespeare is the exception that proves the rule. (90-91)
L.M. Montgomery
#51. I took the one letter he had for us. It was from the Switchblade Gas & Electric Company. I didn't know I had admirers there too, but I wasn't that surprised. I threw it in the trash with the IRS's love letters and closed the door without reply.
The Harvard Lampoon
#52. Faith is Hope on a treadmill. Love is the reason we stay on.
Solange Nicole
#53. I would say that Emma Stone and Emma Watson are two very talented young actresses who are very intelligent and have a great sense of humor and have learned to balance what they love with their acting career, and I think that's really a great thing.
Kara Hayward
#54. It's always gratifying to share a hobby with a friend, and pining for erstwhile suitors falls into that category. In the months to come, Libby and I would analyze our respective exes with the gusto and intellectual rigor of Jesuits.
Patricia Marx
#55. Yeah, I love living in New York, man, and people who live in New York, we wear that fact like a badge right on our sleeve because we know that fact impresses everybody! I was in Vietnam. So what? I live in New York!
Denis Leary
#56. If a man can't love you for who you are, he's not worth The Dior Gloss.
Leah Marie Brown
#57. There is nothing to me but you. I know it's pathetic but, oh darling, it's true.
F.K. Preston
#58. How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.
A.A. Milne
#59. He made a careful rehearsal of some of their bits of talk
why had she said this? what had she meant by that? why had she done the other? He dwelt on these matters with an absorbed speculation, and with a young man of Ogden's temperament speculation was but the first step on the way to love.
Henry Blake Fuller
#60. You want me to invite him to dinner."
"I want you to invite him to dinner," she agreed.
"You know," he said, "most gay men don't have mothers who are this enthusiastic about their love lives."
"That's probably true," she said. "You're one of the lucky ones.
Matthew Haldeman-Time
#61. I have a 10 year old boy and a 6 year old boy and the stuff that they watch, it's always ... I mean, it could be because we're a funny family, but they love the humor and combining humor with space action, I mean, you know, there's a winner right there.
Rhys Darby
#62. And when you grow up one day," her mother would always add, "you might be lucky enough to be shot by someone you love.
Carolyn Cohagan
#63. There are essentially three types of people: those who love life more than they fear it, those who fear life more than they love it, and those who have no clue what I'm talking about.
Neel Burton
#64. The humor and emotion of the 'Do You Want to Build a Snowman' theme makes me cry every time I watch it, and that deep emotion is something we'd love to do on the show. If we can make you cry, we always try to. And 'Once,' when it's at its best, is emotional and fun.
Edward Kitsis
#65. You can defeat fear through humor, through pain, through honesty, bravery, intuition, and through love in the truest sense.
John Cassavetes
#66. My Grandmother says that love is like a bout of diarrhea, it needs neither an invitation nor privacy.
Dora Okeyo
#67. Do you still want me to go to hell? I must admit, I don't know the way.
Robert Thier
#69. My love, wherever you are - whatever you are - don't lose faith. I know it's gonna happen someday to you.
Morrissey
#70. So nobody got time for people who aren't worth your time.
Fiona Chazhoor
#71. You like my kisses - and I like kissing you. Why deny ourselves such innocent pleasure?
Stephanie Laurens
#72. If you're making love to a man of God, then God must endorse your lovemaking.
Eileen Pollack
#73. There are times when I love to play all kinds of complicated games in painting. But this is one case when I need to be fairly straightforward. I'll just try to paint the man, his intelligence, his amiability and his stature, maybe paint him fairly close to humor and try to get it just right.
Nelson Shanks
#74. Well, I've almost got the problem licked. I'm eighty now, and in a few more years, I think I'll have it completely under control. (referring to his love of coffee)
J. Golden Kimball
#75. Everything about you fascinates me, Sophie. The smell of your skin. The sound of your voice. Your long legs. Your sense of humor. Your personality. You don't seem to need me, and if you don't need me, it is much more gratifying that you want me.
Elisa Marie Hopkins
#77. I like Dancing of Indian girls more than my parents' prayers . Because they dance with love and passion . But my parents just say their prayers because they got used to it .
Ali Shariati
#78. I liked the premise of this material. I love the marriage relationship. They kind of keep each other honest, and they enjoy each other's sense of humor. Kind of a sexy but boring relationship.
Patricia Arquette
#79. Though we say, Love is something that knows no boundary and needs no agreement but Money can do everything ...
Ranu Das
#80. Statistically speaking, there is a 65 percent chance that the love of your life is having an affair. Be very suspicious.
Scott Dikkers
#81. I love being a wizard. Every day is like Disneyland.
Jim Butcher
#82. Continue to love each other, something I discover is not an automatic state but must be worked at, like an ever-changing tactical problem, though I would never describe it that way to my beloved
Garth Nix
#83. I love new clothes. If everyone could just wear new clothes everyday, I reckon depression wouldn't exist anymore.
Sophie Kinsella
#84. People hide the truth to protect those they love!
Craig Mercier
#85. With true love, you can move mountains, make unusual sacrifices, live a life of deprivations and still be happy.
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#86. Oh the wonders of being married. Put a gun in one hand and a woman in the other, I'm never sure who's going to kill me first.
Michael W. Grimard
#87. 6th grade. My dog, Katie, is hit by a car and killed. A mean girl during recess says it committed suicide because it didn't love me. I cry and swear revenge on mankind.
Eugene Mirman
#88. I'm not that bad," he said. "I'm rich, popular. I have a sense of humor. I'm good looking, and not to mention I have a really big -
J.M. Darhower
#89. Smack me if we ever get that awful."
"But I smack you so often," she said, "how will you know that's what I'm smacking you for?"
"We shall work out a smacking code.
Gina Damico
#90. Were you always such a stubborn, blind, obtuse girl?"
"Are you calling me stupid?"
"Yes, but in a more poetic way!"
"Well, here's a poem for you. Get lost!
Colleen Houck
#91. When I was younger I used to think that band-aids did all the work. I mean after all, it binds your wound together and makes everything better back to the way it was. But then I became an adult and started to fall in love,fvi and I realize that band-aids are so overrated lol.
Onee'sha Ford
#92. He was terrified, he was thrilled. That was love.
Lila Dubois
#93. Live life to the fullest, love deeply and laugh a lot. Be proud of what you see in the mirror and you will have no wrinkles!
Barbara Post-Askin
#94. Not my finest hour," he says, shaking his head.
"You realize you did it for no reason," I say. I tell him about talking to my dad and explain that I was crying because of that.
"That information would have been useful BEFORE I shoved him in the pool.
Heather Hepler
#95. Revenge is a dish best served in something microwaveable
Josh Stern
#97. You would do the same for me. He smiled a big toothy smile before he hopped off my car and walked away, leaving me wondering what was up with the guy in the girl jeans and why I couldn't get him off of my mind.
Magan Vernon
#98. I feel like I was born the day my kids were and that my life before was only there to gain wisdom for them. The point is you do your best. Your very best every day. You do it and you do it for them!
Drew Barrymore
#99. Everything I love: literature, irony, humor, the individual, and the defense of free expression.
Christopher Hitchens
#100. I love you like a gay geneticist loves designer genes.
Bo Burnham
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