Top 91 Dance Humor Quotes
#1. If I'm walking on thin ice, I might as well dance my way across.
Mercedes Lackey
#2. [Attending the Sun Dance] There was a smattering of tourists, both serious and recreational. Professors of anthropology and ethnology. Writers of fact and other fiction. A family from Wisconsin pausing on their long, sacred pilgrimage to The Land of Disney.
James D. Doss
#3. If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.
George Bernard Shaw
#4. Everyone tries to get you to dance at clubs. They come up to you and say "You gotta dance! you gotta dance!" And then I dance, and they're like, "Not like that!"
Mike Birbiglia
#5. Well, the way you'd been, old lady
I could see the fear in your windows
Under your furry crawling brow
A silver bow rings up in inches
You were afraid you'd be the devil's red wife
But it's alright, God dug your dance
And would have you young and in his harum
Don Van Vliet
#6. Just like any other high school dance, the theme was crepe paper in the gym
Heather Hildenbrand
#7. all gods were like that: the knife behind the smile, the drop of poison in the honey jar. They liked to bind you to them, make you dance on razorblades.
Liz Williams
#8. Dance after dance after dance, until sweat was running down my back as I worked to keep up, keep that smile on my face, to remember to laugh when my hands were within strangling distance from his throat.
Sarah J. Maas
#9. But I was starving! You know I always forget my lunch - and who expects me to concentrate on Advanced Manga Drawing Level 2 when visions of pork buns and powdered doughnuts dance in my head? Teacher Suzuki acted like it was the end of the world just because I got hungry,
Bunny Lilka
Tiffany Fulton
#10. We followed the bondage Bobbsey Twins across the crowded dance floor. Those leather shorts were an adventure from behind, let me tell you.
And the pictures of Elvis decorating the walls were an education, too. It wasn't often you ran into a bondage/Elvis/ whorehouse-themed vampire
club.
Charlaine Harris
#11. He didn't miss a beat. "Is this an interview?"
"Yes."
"What job am I applying for?"
"The job of my dance and life partner - figuratively, literally, horizontally, vertically, and hopefully, laterally. And, depending on how flexible you are, diagonally.
Penny Reid
#12. Stamp: "Fine Maddy, Whatever. Take your little punk loser to the dance. I don't need you, Maddy. I can ask two dozen, three dozen chicks right now to go with me." Maddy: "Well then," I guess you better start stocking up on corsages.
Rusty Fischer
#13. It was terrible music to dance to; all you could really do was nod and hunch to the music. The girls all looked like they were listening to the same sad story. Yes, yes, yes, that's awful. Yes, yes, yes.
Rainbow Rowell
#14. Never dance in a puddle when there's a hole in your shoe (it's always best to take your shoes off first).
John D. Rhodes
#15. Vampire politics make the very complicated dance of manners that is werewolf protocol look like the Hokey Pokey.
Patricia Briggs
#16. I haven't even seen the girl dance yet, except when I catch her dancing in her room, but then she screams at me and I run and hide.
Toni Aleo
#18. Personally, I prefer Stevie Wonder," confessed the Chink, "but what the hell. Those cowgirls are always bitching because the only radio station in the area plays nothing but polkas, but I say you can dance to anything if you really feel like dancing." To prove it, he got up and danced to the news.
Tom Robbins
#19. Dance like it hurts. Love like you need money. Work when people are watching.
Dogbert's Motto
Scott Adams
#20. I thought cobblers just ate shoe leather" Jocelyn says as she and her shadow dance by us.
I've had enough of this one. "I never have, but if you want to try leather, I'm happy to shove some down your throat.
Jen Calonita
#21. I could dance with you till the cows come home. Better still, I'll dance with the cows and you come home.
Groucho Marx was never one to pass up an opportunity for a play on words and this occurs in his dialogue of the 1933 film Duck Soup:
Groucho Marx
#22. It was quite wrong of me Had I heard what I thought I'd heard or were my ears playing hob with me It was more likely that the sun and the moon should suddenly dance a jolly jig in the heavens than that one of my sisters should apologize. It was simply unheard of.
Alan Bradley
#23. I don't know how to explain it."
"Try words. If that doesn't work, we'll move on to interpretive dance.
Devon Monk
#24. It was usual to be obedient to authority, to obey a legal letter. But Rachaela left her bills
unpaid until the threats began. She ignored the money-envelopes stuck through the door for starving
children and the sick.
Tanith Lee
#25. I am surprised you didn't whack your head on an overhanging branch back there. I have never seen anyone leap straight up off the ground the way you did when you saw that snake! It would make a good move for our next dance. Do you think you could teach the others? The snake jump?
Jennifer Frick-Ruppert
#26. I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought I'd rather dance with the cows until you come home.
Groucho Marx
#27. So Elizabeth, dare we take the dance floor again in hopes of repeating that splendid performance given by Lydia?
Elizabeth Eulberg
#28. Dance in the rain, follow the path of lovely lanes, you are what you always wanted to be, so chill out, dear friend!
Santosh Kalwar
#29. Why?"
Kieran grinned. "'Cause you can't dance, it's too wet to plow, and it's a little windy to be stacking chickens.
Jesse Hajicek
#30. I like the authentic punk dance you did there. It's like a child dizzy off lemonade
Russell Howard
#32. Once upon a time she had liked to dance. When she had been about the same age as the little brunette out there who kept lifting her dress up over her head. Now that was living. Just lift your dress if you wanted to get down and don't worry what anyone thought.
Erin McCarthy
#33. What's it like? Ballet school?"
"Harsh," he said. "Everyone dances until they collapse. We eat only raw-egg smoothies and wheat protein. Every Friday we have a dance-off and whoever is left standing gets a chocolate bar. Also we have to watch dance movies constantly.
Cassandra Clare
#34. Never dance according to the tune of music played by your oppressors.
Pray to have enough courage, grace to be tolerant and compassionate.
Lailah Gifty Akita
#35. History will show that patient boys with a sense of humor, who can dance, tend to have more opportunities to participate in the evolution of the species than boys who give up and mope quietly on the sidelines
Andrew Smith
#36. Amy let him lead her to the dance area. She gasped when he immediately tugged her body against his. Clearly Erik had not learned the dance rules taught at St. Francis High School. He didn't leave room for air, much less a holy presence.
Ana Blaze
#37. I would hate to be taken seriously. Serious people are always so grim and uptight that they make me want to dance naked on the lawn playing a flute.
Robert Anton Wilson
#38. If anyone ever saw me dance, they'd have trouble taking me seriously.
Christina Ricci
#39. ...to go to a dance with a guy who has all the personality of a serial killer mixed with a sponge.
J.A. Beard
#40. You make me smile like the sun, fall out bed, sing like a bird, dizzy in my head. Spin like a record crazy on a sunday night. You make me dance like a fool, forget how to breath, shine like the sun buzz like a bee, just the thought of you can drive me wild. Oh you make me smile. -Uncle Kracker-
Uncle Kracker
#41. Something is definitely wrong with my feelings about marriage and procreation. I worry that not only am I missing the chromosome that allows me to dance respectably, but that I am also lacking a conventional vagina.
Chelsea Handler
#42. You need to stop thinking with your head, Mud Boy, and start thinking with your heart.
Artemis sighed. The heart was an organ for pumping oxygen-rich blood to the cells. It could no more think than an apple could tap-dance.
Eoin Colfer
#43. I had an aunt named 'abnormal Shauna' once. But she passed away in an unfortunate cliff-top interpretative dance and fireworks accident.
Joshua Donellan
#44. Dance of the Sugar Plum Bikey. Yes, that's got a nice ring to it.
Louise Rennison
#45. We look at the dance to impart the sensation of living in an affirmation of life, to energize the spectator into keener awareness of the vigor, the mystery, the humor, the variety, and the wonder of life. This is the function of the American dance.
Martha Graham
#46. He was cut from the scene like a case of the runs from a can-can routine.
Jack Bunbury
#47. Somebody just gave me a shower radio. Thanks a lot. Do you really want music in the shower? I guess there's no better place to dance than a slick surface next to a glass door.
Jerry Seinfeld
#48. Disco's are tricky. You look a total wally if you dance too early but after one crucial song tips the disco over, you look a sad saddo if you don't.
David Mitchell
#49. Two steps forward ... one step back ... I've always hated that old cliche too ... I believe that we should all be able to dance through life and only change the tempo now and then.
Isabelle Rowan
#50. You're kidding," i said. "i'm thinking about plans for doomsday, and you're worried about being late to a dance?
Serpent's Shadow Rick Riordan
#51. It's hard to dance if you just lost your wallet. Whoa Where's my wallet But, hey this song is funky ...
Mitch Hedberg
#52. Oh, friend John, it is a strange world, a sad world, a world full of miseries, and woes and troubles, and yet when King Laugh come he make them all dance to the tune he play.
Bram Stoker
#53. Surely he had never fainted in his life! He glowed with robust good health and vibrant energy, as if he could conquer all the world and still have strength for a dance and to rescue a maiden or two.
Amanda McCabe
#54. Do you dance? Or are you strictly a prop-up-the-wall-with-a-beer kind of guy?"
"I dance. But I don't shag."
She laughed. "I think we've just established that you do".
"Not Austin Powers shagging. It's A Carolina thing. A dance.
Virginia Kantra
#55. If you want to dance the dance then you better learn the steps, the world has enough pretenders. If you want to practice sex then you better find a partner, and to love you must surrender.
Carroll Bryant
#56. CHEERS, CARTER. At least you have the sense to hand me the microphone for important things.
Honestly, he drones on and on about his plans for the Apocalypse, but he makes no plans at all for the school dance. My brother's priorities are severely skewed.
Sadie Kane
Rick Riordan
#57. I don't use a crap camera, I don't eat junk, and I'm not going to a dance where the boys are bores
Adriana Trigiani
#58. Wanna dance?" he asked
"I guess you'll do. All the cute guys are already taken," I answered with a grin.
"You wound me with your callousness," he sighed dramatically, taking me in his arms.
"I do have a black belt in demolishing overstuffed egos.
Lani Woodland
#59. We were like deaf people trying to dance to a beat we couldn't hear, long after the music actually stopped.
Brandon Sanderson
#60. Max, you're the last of the hybrids who still has ... a soul.' ... 'She doesn't have soul,' Gazzy scoffed. 'Have you ever seen her dance?
James Patterson
#61. It was like my uterus was tapping out a happy dance on the rest of my organs. God, I was dying the longest, most tortuous, and arousing death in the history of the world.
Cora Carmack
#62. I can't belly dance.'
Yes, you can. It's in your fi
'
Will you stop reading my goddamn file!
Jennifer Rardin
#63. If you're feeling blue, lock yourself in a room, stand in front of a mirror, and dance - and laugh at yourself and be sexy. Dance the silliest and ugliest you've ever danced. Make fun of yourself and try to recover your sense of humor.
Salma Hayek
#64. There are many things evil people can take from you. However, they can never steal your ability to laugh and laugh loud.
Shannon L. Alder
#65. Despite what you think you know, most people don't want to fight, especially when evenly matched. ... That's why you see those pissed young men doing the dance of "don't hold me back" while desperately hoping someone likes them enough to hold them back.
Ben Aaronovitch
#66. I made the sympathetic face, and the interested face, and even the impressed face. I did not say, 'In the name of all that is holy, cease this incessant drivel, you pretentious ass.
Meg Howrey
#67. One pretty woman means fun at the dance. Two pretty women means trouble in the house. Three pretty women means run at the hills.
Robert Jordan
#68. I like Dancing of Indian girls more than my parents' prayers . Because they dance with love and passion . But my parents just say their prayers because they got used to it .
Ali Shariati
#69. I picked up my flute and smiled, eyebrows dancing. "Why don't you show her your straight dance?"
"Is there a gay dance, too?" Mickey asked.
Rose Christo
#70. You're on, Ted," I told him. "Your big chance, boy. Don't blow it. Folks, this kid is going to dance his balls off before your very eyes.
Richard Bachman
#71. I turned to watch the women on the dance floor, laughing and smiling and watching Travis and Megan vertically dry fucking.
Jamie McGuire
#73. Yes," Bernarde quipped, "Deal with me, Jean Luc. Come and dance with the night, brother. Let us battle 'till the sun turns us to ash.
Katerina Martinez
#74. Small men oft feel a need to prove their courage with unseemly boasts," he declared. "I doubt if he could kill a duck."
Tyrion shrugged. "Fetch the duck.
George R R Martin
#75. You stand for nothing. You respect nobody. The music you dance to is devoid of beauty, its lyrics empty of humor or cleverness.
David Klass
#76. They say the world is a stage. But obviously the play is unrehearsed and everybody is ad-libbing his lines."
"Maybe that's why it's hard to tell if we're living in a tragedy or a farce."
"We need more special effects and dance numbers.
Bill Watterson
#77. Wait -- you kissed a girl you didn't like, tried to make me jealous, and almost got kicked out of school -- and you still didn't learn how to dance?' She looked at the ceiling. 'Why are boys so stupid?
Varian Johnson
#78. I hadn't gone to one dance in my entire high school
career. I was six foot tall and a hundred and twenty
pounds. When I danced, I looked like a praying mantis
on fire.
Justin Halpern
#79. Will you dance for me? Let your breasts roam for a moment
I need to see how they dance.'
'Okay.' She danced, and as she danced, she tried to think of the most delicious salads she could imagine
with artichokes and sundried tomato and blue cheese dressing, and beets, lots of beets.
Nicholson Baker
#80. Do little pink fairies sing and dance in your world, Peabody?"
"Sometimes, when it's very quiet and no one else can see.
J.D. Robb
#81. Will you accompany me in this dance?" he said, bowing and holding out his hand.
"No, thank you." Miri smiled.
The prince frowned and looked and the chief delegate as if for assistance.
Miri laughed self consciously. "I, uh, I was teasing.
Shannon Hale
#82. Those who cannot dance, should not dance.
Cian Beirdd
#83. I once heard a tobacco-chewing hog farmer say that, in Iowa, folks like to spread out their children like dog shit on a dance floor.
Andrew Smith
#84. That's the authentic punk dance. It's like a child dizzy on lemonade.
Noel Fielding
#85. Even though the sewer pipelines reach far into our houses with their tentacles, they are carefully hidden from view and we are happily ignorant of the invisible Venice of shit underlying our bathrooms, bedrooms, dance halls, and parliaments.
Milan Kundera
#86. Just humor me for a few more minutes at least ... You are hands-down, the most gorgeous woman here tonight. Or probably anywhere, for that matter. When you leave, at least I'll be able to say I got a whole dance with you. - Jonathan di Luca
R. Matthews
#87. DJing for people is fun until someone comes up with a phone screen that has 'PLAY SOME RIHANNA' written on it. I prefer to play older songs because they're the ones I personally enjoy dancing and singing along to and modern dance music bores my brains out.
Alexa Chung
#88. Philosophers have argued for centuries about how many angels can dance on the head of a pin, but materialists have known all along that it depends on whether they are jitterbugging or dancing cheek to cheek.
Tom Robbins
#89. The Argentine tango isn't here to play nicely with the other children. The Argentine tango is here to seduce your women, spill things on your rug, and sneak out your bedroom window in the middle of the night.
Seanan McGuire
#90. Because sometimes you just have to dance like a madman in the Self-Help section of your local bookstore.
David Levithan
#91. Those women like to see their tongues dance.
Ray Bradbury
