Top 100 Beer Can Quotes
#1. just another empty beer can in the trashpile of life
Dennis Morgan
#2. Buster closed his eyes, held his breath, and, before he realized that the gun had been fired, a gust of heat and wind passed over him and deconstructed the beer can atop his head, the sound of something irrevocably giving up its shape and becoming, in an instant, something new.
Kevin Wilson
#3. You might be a redneck if your beer can collection is considered a tourist attraction in your home town.
Jeff Foxworthy
#4. I wish to cry. Yet, I laugh, and my lipstick leaves a red stain like a bloody crescent moon on the top of the beer can.
Sylvia Plath
#5. Beer's nice for being glad and dizzy, and sometimes for the mystery and stuff, but the happy that comes out of a beer can is not like the real happy you got to make in your heart.
Tom Robbins
#6. Beer can lead men to think they're mighty and foul-mouthed women to believe themselves amusing and hip.
Tom Robbins
#7. Listen up, you couch potatoes: each recycled beer can saves enough electricity to run a television for three hours.
Denis Hayes
#9. How'd you like to gaze at a beer can throughout eternity? It might not be so bad. There'd be nothing to fear.
Philip K. Dick
#10. The marketing people are always talking about something called 'consumers'. I have this image of a fat little man in baggy Bermuda shorts, a Hawaiian shirt, and a straw hat with beer-can openers dangling from it, clutching fistfuls of dollars.
Robert James Waller
#11. At dawn, a ray of sunlight slanted from the steeple of St. Antoine's church, glanced off a window on Grant Street and finally alighted on a beer can lying in the middle of the pavement.
Yves Beauchemin
#12. Although finding fruit flies in your wine or beer can be a bit annoying, I hope people will pause to admire the tenacity of these clever little creatures. They are really just hungry animals looking for something to eat, and have no intention of ruining your happy hour.
Michael Dickinson
#13. You might be a redneck if you won't stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the car.
Jeff Foxworthy
#14. In a study, scientists report that drinking beer can be good for the liver. I'm sorry, did I say 'scientists'? I meant Irish people.
Tina Fey
#15. I can tell you I've crunched the numbers time and time again; it is always more fun to have eight people with one beer than one man with eight beers.
Nick Offerman
#16. Well ah woke up aboot hauf ten an' ah wiz still pissed fae the Friday night. Oan the table beside ma bed wiz hauf a spliff, hauf a boatle a wine an' a can ay beer. Ah smoked the spliff an' drank the wine fur ma breakfast then rolled another joint tae huv wae the beer.
Stephen Livingston
#17. Downhill's the future of the sport. Cross-country's not geared for TV. Some fat guy watching it with a beer in one hand and potato chips in the other is going to say, I can do that. America likes to see people crash.
Missy Giove
#18. It's very hard to get pretentious about beer. You can become knowledgeable and start to talk with a highfalutin' vocabulary. But you can only go so far with beer, and I've always liked that.
Fritz Maytag
#19. Good films are not made by accident, nor is good photography. You can have good things happen, on occasion, by accident that can be applied at that moment in a film, but your craft isn't structured around such things, except in beer commercials.
Gordon Willis
#20. Never allow a child to spend all of his allowance. Insist that he set aside a certain amount of money every week and put it in a safe place, where you can get it if you need to buy beer.
Dave Barry
#21. We've had drive-by shootings. I've been spat on, slapped, shot at. One guy tried to stab me with a broken beer bottle. But the way we look at it, if people do the worst they can, we'll still wake up in glory.
Troy Perry
#22. I can drink on the job if I want to. I can go on stage with a beer and it's OK. I can say whatever I want. It's a great job to have.
Rodney Carrington
#23. If you want, I'll gather all the things I don't mind you smashing and put them on the coffee table, or an alternate option, I can go grab you a bottle of beer, I offered. He
Kristen Ashley
#24. Many battles have been fought and won by soldiers nourished on beer, and the King does not believe that coffee-drinking soldiers can be relied upon to endure hardships in case of another war.
Frederick The Great
#26. Pray for anything you like, if it is for the good of us all.
-I pray for beer, for meat and for a new wife with hard hands. You can share the wife.
Ernest Hemingway,
#27. in there," and the first guy says, "Watch." In he goes and orders a beer. "Sorry, you can't bring your dog in here," says the bartender.
Various
#28. If you can make it down to the pub, the pub will make it up to you.
Benny Bellamacina
#29. Uh oh, it's beer o'clock, I think I'm sober.
How about we think this over, over a can of King Cobra?
Daniel Dumile
#30. Cover a war in a place where you can't drink beer or talk to a woman? Hell no!
Hunter S. Thompson
#31. I'm Catholic and I can't commit suicide, but I plan to drink myself to death.
Jack Kerouac
#32. Don't you know alcohol kills brain cells ... any damn brain cell that can't live through a good drunk deserves to die. You're doing yourself a favour, getting rid of all them nonhacking, underachieving ones. I'm working on improving your efficiency.
James E. Webb
#33. It was Saturday late, have you seen my mates, can you tell me when the boys get here? Well, it's seven o'clock and I want to rock and get a belly full of beer.
Elton John
#34. The nerds are rich and successful, and those jocks are dumb divorced guys with beer bellies. By the way, in high school, I also played football and, yes, I have a beer belly. Jeannie can't divorce me. We are Catholic. Thank you, Jesus.
Jim Gaffigan
#35. The old man had been tanned by the light of too many beer signs, and it just goes to show that you can't live on three packs of Chesterfields and a fifth of bourbon a day without starting to drift far too fuckin' wide in the turns.
Daniel Woodrell
#36. You know, nobody eats in England. Three or four pints of English beer a night fills you. I can't say I'm very impressed with the food in America. it's all sort of bland. Like turkey sandwiches.
Anne Dudley
#37. I need grit and struggle and Los Angeles is terribly nice, but people, once they get there, cease to be real. Constant and repetitive fulfillment is not good for the human spirit. We all need rain and good old depression. Life can't be all beer and skittles.
Morrissey
#38. Beer makes all jokes funny. Beer makes ugly and fat women attractive, which is something ugly women can't do for themselves, because they're too busy getting fat. Beer is also refreshing and a good listener.
Dick Masterson
#39. You can do anything with beer that you can do with wine. Beer is great for basting or marinating meat and fish.
Grant Wood
#40. I used to drink a lot of beer, but I was just getting fat as can be. Now that we've had a little success, I can afford to drink wine.
Tom DeLonge
#41. You've flown with us for twenty-five years, you like us, you've learned the patois. I bet you can order a beer and a hooker on any station in the Belt.
James S.A. Corey
#42. So how as a nation can we sit around and eat Mexican food, and drink beer and make friends? That's the question. If we can do that on a broader scale, I think we'll come out of it all right.
Sandra Day O'Connor
#43. I can completely lose myself into just absolutely satisfying things - a really amazing cheeseburger, a pizza, good fries, a beer. I enjoy being comfortable and eating whatever the hell I like. It's a big thing for me, just having the freedom to be able to do that.
Channing Tatum
#44. Beer might make a smart man dull, but coffee is worse because it can delude a dull man into thinking he's smart.
Galen Beckett
#45. I've never read anything about heroin where, yeah, it's a good experience, and you can do it for 20 years and enjoy it, like having a cold beer. It doesn't work that way with heroin.
Ace Frehley
#46. Don't quote me on this, but if they ever manage to ban beer advertising in baseball you can kiss the national pastime goodbye.
Roger Maris
#47. It's really difficult working with kids and with babies because they are not cooperative subjects: they are not socialized into the idea that they should cheerfully and cooperatively give you information. They're not like undergraduates, who you can bribe with beer money or course credit.
Paul Bloom
#48. I have tremendous respect for anyone who can control his palate enough to learn not only to drink beer but to enjoy it too.
Eknath Easwaran
#49. The letters in 'Brace Beemer' can be arranged to spell 'Embrace Beer.'
Dave Barry
#50. When you are on tour in the UK it takes a few hours to get anywhere. A lot of the time you can have a beer, close your eyes for two minutes, and then you are there. In the U.S. it is much more like a road trip as all the cities are so spread apart.
Kelly Jones
#51. Beer does not make itself properly by itself. It takes an element of mystery and of things that no one can understand.
Fritz Maytag
#52. Do you even know what hammerd means?" I asked.
"Something to do with drinking your American beer out of a hole in the side of a can?"
Dave reached over and slapped him on the shin. "Close enough.
Jennifer Rardin
#53. Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine.
Dave Moulton
#54. Let me finish my beer." (Stark)
"Of course. The end of the world can wait.(Kasabian)
Richard Kadrey
#55. Any group that intends to sell laboratory meat will need to build bioreactors - factories that can grow cells under pristine conditions. Bioreactors aren't new; beer and yeast are made using similar methods.
Michael Specter
#56. Morse poured himself a can of beer. Champagne's a lovely drink, but it makes you thirsty, doesn't it?
Colin Dexter
#57. Beer, well respected and rightly consumed, can be a gift of God. It is one of his mysteries, which it was his delight to conceal and the glory of kings to search out. And men enjoy it to mark their days and celebrate their moments and stand with their brothers in the face of what life brings.
Stephen Mansfield
#58. Quite frankly, so am I, because what I'm about to tell you is a fact.
In this country, there is only one thing that can draw a crown without any shadow of a doubt. The answer?
Beer.
Free beer.
Markus Zusak
#59. They sell courage of a sort in the taverns. And another sort, though not for sale, a man can find in the confessional. Try the alehouses and the churches, Hugh. In either a man can be quiet and think.
Ellis Peters
#60. You can have a wrestling idea, but you need to have these momentum-shifting moves. We had the Hulkamania movement, then it shifted to the beer-drinking, Stone Cold era, we reinvented the business with growing the black beard and becoming the bad guy, what's that next level.
Hulk Hogan
#61. You can only drink 30 or 40 glasses of beer a day, no matter how rich you are.
Adolphus Busch
#62. I know of a brewer who sells more of his beer to the people who never see his advertising than to the people who see it every week. Bad advertising can unsell a product.
David Ogilvy
#63. All the best pubs are built on a hill, so you can slope in and roll out.
Benny Bellamacina
#64. I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts, and beer.
Abraham Lincoln
#65. Unfinished Beer Guy: I can't tell you how many times I've had a party on a Saturday night, and then walk around for an hour on Sunday morning, tearfully emptying 2,600 unfinished beers. I feel like the guys who removed the bodies from a Civil War battlefield.
Adam Carolla
#66. Women. Can't live with 'em, pass the beer nuts.
George Wendt
#67. People can tell what's in beer, eh? Like my brother can tell the difference between beers by what his burps taste like.
Bob McKenzie
#69. What can I say? Love is blind," said Rory, sitting down next to Yamane. "Yamane here is the acknowledged world master of queer fu."
"Oh, no, you did not just say that." Yamane shot him a sour look and drank the last of Rory's beer.
Z.A. Maxfield
#70. I can't actually read interviews with thesps now because they're almost always fantastically predictable, the men especially. Actors are forever stressing their ordinariness, their beer and football-loving commitments.
Peter York
#71. Every job in the world has some built-in boredom. No man can stay excited about something every minute he is doing it. Routine is as necessary to life as water is to beer; it is the base that holds the flavors and spices together.
E.L. Konigsburg
#72. To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a "support group". Salvation in a can!
Leo Durocher
#73. Only a pint at breakfast-time, and a pint and a half at eleven o'clock, and a quart or so at dinner. And then no more till the afternoon; and half a gallon at supper-time. No one can object to that.
R.D. Blackmore
#74. What I like about playing America is you can be pretty sure you're not going to get hit with a full can of beer when you're singing and I really enjoy that!
Joe Strummer
#76. If you live in Boston, Samuel Adams draft beer (Summer Ale) and Dunkin' Donuts are essentials of life. But I discovered to my delight that even these indulgences can be offset by persistent exercise.
Haruki Murakami
#77. What mechanism can it be that results in the production of homologous organs, the same 'patterns', in spite of their not being controlled by the same genes? I asked this question in 1938, and it has not been answered
Gavin De Beer
#78. The scientific method ... is nothing but the exclusion of subjective opinions as far as possible, by the devising of experiments where observation can give objective answers, yes or no, to questions whether events are causally connected.
Gavin De Beer
#79. The great thing about golf - and this is the reason why a lot of health experts like me recommend it - you can drink beer and ride in a cart while you play.
Dave Barry
#80. I believe in things I can count on, like beer and ESPN and my grandmother's pecan pie.
Justin Timberlake
#81. She was the third beer. Not the first one, which the throat receives with almost tearful gratitude; nor the second, that confirms and extends the pleasure of the first. But the third, the one you drink because it's there, because it can't hurt, and because what difference does it make?
Toni Morrison
#82. I want to go to a place where I can go to a football game, take off my shirt, paint my chest and major in beer.
Andrew Ferguson
#83. I can't afford no liquor, all I can buy is beer and wine.
B.B. King
#84. All I can really tell you about my father is that he did odd things like put tin foil on a bottle of beer after having a few sips, then put it in the refrigerator to perhaps have on another night.
Bruce Eric Kaplan
#85. It is a great feeling to know that from a window I can go to books to cans of beer to past loves. And from these gather enough dream to sneak out a back door.
Gregory Corso
#86. I can still taste that first beer I bought with my own paycheck.
Marlon Brando
#87. Lo! the poor toper whose untutored sense, Sees bliss in ale, and can with wine dispense; Whose head proud fancy never taught to steer, Beyond the muddy ecstasies of beer.
George Crabbe
#88. Managing an advertising agency isn't all beer and skittles. After fourteen years of it, I have come to the conclusion that the top man has one principle responsibility: to provide an atmosphere in which creative mavericks can do useful work.
David Ogilvy
#89. I don't intend to use beer as a crutch and drink until I pass out. So advice, keep an eye on that so you can get in there and get yourself drunk sex before it turns unpretty and drunk sex ends with me puking and / or passing out during the act.
Kristen Ashley
#90. They were actually pills to make slimming easier for you. We used to take them with a couple of beers. They made you just a little speedy. But you can't compare it to speed from today or cocaine or anything. It's just baby food compared to that.
Astrid Kirchherr
#91. I asked these Indians: "Do men ever make Chicha?" My question was met with gales of laughter. The women howled. Bent over in hilarity, one replied, "Men can't brew. Chicha made by men would only make gas in the belly. You are a funny man! Beer is women's work."
Alan D. Eames
#92. You can go super American and get barbecue and beer and be like, 'Whatever, I'm watching a football game.' That's exactly what I'm going to do.
Emily Ratajkowski
#93. Can I have another beer? It's amazing, it doesn't feem to have any essect on me, no matter how much I dnirk. Helps me think clearerer.
Terry Pratchett
#94. One of the remarkable things about being 19 is that you can break open a case of warm beer at midnight and still be wide-eyed and alert for your eight-a.m. class. And that gave me the false impression that my life would always be like that.
David Letterman
#95. Trash can!
Pritkin cursed and grabbed one, just about the time everything I'd eaten that night paid a repeat visit. Whiskey, pizza, milk shake, beer-and a lone, half-dissolved gummy bear, which was a surprise, since I couldn't actually recall having eaten any. Fun times.
Karen Chance
#96. In my case, I thoroughly enjoy running 100-odd miles a week. If I didn't I wouldn't do it. Who can define happiness? To some, happiness is a warm puppy or a glass of cold beer. To me, happiness is running in the hills with my mates around me.
Ron Clarke
#97. Boy, a drive-through liquor store. God bless America! A place where you can drive through and buy whiskey, beer ... just the thing for that drunk driver who's constantly on the go. Cant stop now! I've got places to go, people to hit!
Drew Carey
#98. Explain to me how this is fun: thirty minutes in line, thirty dollars to get in, ten minutes to work your way down here, ten more saying hi to people I can tell you barely know, and now fifteen minutes ordering a beer that costs twice what it should. You just lost an hour of your life.
Wesley Chu
#99. The ladies in the beer commercials were hot, no doubt, but when a goddess wants to make an effort, no one else can even open the jar of mustard, let alone cut it.
Kevin Hearne
#100. I'm not a real gadgety person. But bottle opener is probably the gadget I can't live without. Actually, I can open a bottle of beer pretty easily without it, but wine is always too much of a pain in the (rear) to open that up. So a corkscrew is probably the gadget that I can't live without.
Dave Matthews
