Top 100 You Take The Piss Quotes
#1. Have you no honor? No decency? No damn brains? You don't kill me with bullets. You just piss me off. And you just ruined my friggin' favorite coat. For that, you die. (Wulf)
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#2. I was too shocked to respond, but Bones's laughter broke the silence.
"You must be taking a piss on me."
"Am I expected to know what that means?" Madigan asked coolly.
Jeaniene Frost
#3. That's like piss icing on the shit cake.
R.S. Grey
#4. I wouldn't give ten gallons of my own piss for clear sentence that gives the sense of a tree as a tree, when I revel in the nonsense of its being my own Grandfather, a letter from yesterday, or a masturbating fist.
David Joseph Cribbin
#5. If you'd given yourself to someone else, you wouldn't be mine. And that would seriously piss me off.
Kristen Ashley
#6. So far as he was concerned, this had been a bang-up night. Dynamite, a nice brawl, free brandy, and getting to scare the piss out of someone. It was the simple things that made his life worth living.
Brandon Sanderson
#7. My father always said that government is like watching another man piss in your boot. Someone feels better but it certainly isn't you.
Orson Scott Card
#8. I have PMS and GPS, which means if you piss me off, I will find you.
Eve Langlais
#9. Fuck, this is gonna piss you off and then you aren't gonna let me stick my dick in you," he muttered.
"Do you have to be so crude?" I snapped.
"Have you met me?"
"Who says I'd let you do it anyway?"
"Babe," he replied in a low, rough voice, raising his eyebrow at me.
Joanna Wylde
#10. No artist knows everything (yea, even this artist - piss-artist, con-artist, body-artist) but since every artist knows more than he can tell, all art is lying by omission.
Glen Duncan
#11. The more cash that builds up in the treasury, the greater the pressure to piss it away.
Peter Lynch
#12. It's not every day that I spoke to a totally hot naked man who I was getting read to expose my parts to
and piss on.
Elle Casey
#13. Dude deserves to be castrated, if you ask me.'
Ry chokes a bit, a strangled laugh. Remind me never to piss you off.
Kiersten White
#14. Most of us are still too sane to piss in our own cistern, but we allow others to do so and we reward them for it. We reward them so well, in fact, that those who piss in our cistern are wealthier than the rest of us.
Wendell Berry
#15. They [Christian rednecks] were so stupid that they couldn't pour piss out of a boot even if the instructions were printed on the bottom.
Joe Bageant
#16. I didn't get my nap today. Wouldn't do for someone to piss me off.
Stephanie McAfee
#17. If he came upon us burning in the street, I don't think he'd piss on us to put us out.
Stephen King
#18. A bore or an uggo might manage not to get up anyone's nose, but if a girl's got brains and looks and personality, she's going to piss someone off, somewhere along the way.
Tana French
#19. Depression to me is urine yellow. Washed out, exhausted miles of weak piss. The
Gillian Flynn
#20. The sound would disappear, but the hurt would linger, like the smell of piss long after it has evaporated.
Yann Martel
#21. That's easy. Don't piss me off, don't get anyone killed, don't be stupid and watch each other's backs. I like to keep it simple. That way there's less room for people to misunderstand me. - Reilly Campbell, Gunship
J.J. Snow
#22. If a man does not use his member it grows smaller and smaller until one day he wants to piss and cannot find it.
George R R Martin
#23. You can't chain your heart forever, one day or another you are going to open it for someone and (s)he is going to piss inside it.
M.F. Moonzajer
#24. The hardest thing when you think about focusing. You think focusing is about saying "Yes." No. Focusing is about saying "No." And when you say "No," you piss off people.
Steve Jobs
#25. Are we going to sonar every lake on the ley line? Or just the ones that piss you off?
Maggie Stiefvater
#26. I think the writer's quite low down in the hierarchy really. But the fact that they took the piss out of Nicholas [Hynter] who, besides being the director, is also director of the National Theatre is, I'd have thought, slightly more risky.
Alan Bennett
#27. I am not your anything.You can't just piss on my leg and say I'm yours.
Amelia Hutchins
#28. If you have a gun, unload it. (Mike)
Why? (Nick)
Because if you don't, you're going to shoot this asshole which will only piss him off more. (Mike)
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#29. She feels that surge of warmth, and this time she remembers what it means: not love but piss. Or the love that's mixed with piss and can't be separated from it.
Emma Donoghue
#30. When I was in seventh grade my mom caught me smoking cigarettes and punished me by making me smoke the entire carton. All it did was piss me off because I was out of cigarettes.
Pink
#32. Bike downtown, stick out tongues at the Catholics.
Or form a Piss Club where we all go
in the bushes and peek at each other's sex.
Anne Sexton
#33. 4 of us, and 2000 of them. Piss-poor odds. For them.
Eric S. Nylund
#34. Vodka Redbull: Upper meets downer in an effervescent hybrid of bubble gum and junkie piss
Diablo Cody
#35. I'm not a stray," he said. "I'm. Not. Right. In. The. Head." He jabbed his temple, and the bump on my own head seemed to throb. "I'm fucking rabid and mangy, and I'll piss all over your carpets if I stick around long enough. I'll take what you give me, but I'm not nice, Adrian.
C.M. McKenna
#36. Jesus addresses the angry mob who are stoning a prostitute: "Let him who is without sin cast the first stone." A stone flies through the air and hits the woman. Jesus turns around and says, "Sometimes you really piss me off, Mother.
Graeme Simsion
#37. It's that Scorpio in me. I love you until you do something to piss me off. Then I turn into your personal Satan." I
Brittainy C. Cherry
#38. President Obama filled in as the coach of his daughter Sasha's basketball team. Sasha evidently listened to her Dad, because all she did was drive straight down the center and piss everyone off.
Conan O'Brien
#39. Anytime there's a bad female stand-up somewhere, some dickhead Interblogger will deduce that "women aren't funny." Using that same math, I can state: Male comedy writers piss in cups.
Tina Fey
#41. Out in the desert what doesn't kill you just pisses you off and will probably kill you the next time.
James Anderson
#42. I am abroad in the night with my servants. We come to smoke the northern lights, to rape the Wendigo, to melt igloos with streams of hot, bloody piss. To see and see."
"Oh. You're a bit east.
Laird Barron
#43. Rules? PISS ON YOUR FUCKING RULES!
Ken Kesey
#44. I really try as hard as I can on the show. If people can't see my face, if they can't see my sweat beads or at least that I'm struggling, that I'm not just pretending or going through the motions, then who can blame them for thinking that it's some kind of ridiculous piss-take?
John Maus
#45. Sixty slutz all of them dying from asphyxia/after they sip piss through a Christopher Reeves sippie cup
Eminem
#46. Well, I'm expecting great things from you, young man!"
"Th-thank you, Brother Cyrus." As soon as he released my shoulders, I hurried over to the glass wall where Kiernan was sitting, frowning out at the ocean like it had done something to piss him off.
Rysa Walker
#47. I'm no longer young as I was, but I can tell you this, you never say no to the opportunity to piss, to eat, or to get half an hour's shut-eye. You follow me?
Neil Gaiman
#48. Word of advice for any young man that might want to take out Malia or Sasha Obama - Their father can order an assassination, don't piss him off.
David C. Holley
#49. Personally, I'd rather grow old alone than in the company of anyone I've met so far. I don't experience myself as lonely, incomplete, or unfulfilled, but I don't talk about that much. It seems to piss people off
especially men. (Kinsey Millhone)
Sue Grafton
#50. Single insincere phoneme, piss me off? Why can't I ignore her,
Pat Conroy
#51. Do I have opinions that might piss people off? Yes - that's what I'm here for.
Andy Rooney
#52. It's a sort of piss-take on culture, because a drag queen is a clown - a parody of our society. It's a sarcastic spoof on culture, which allows us to laugh at ourselves - but in a way that is inclusive of everyone.
RuPaul
#53. Anything to piss you off, Brother. Why else? (Arik)
Oh, that's easy enough to do. Basically the fact that you breathe does that. (Solin)
Love you, too. (Arik)
Of course you do, like a plague on your privates. (Solin)
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#54. After finishing my drink I feel a pressure in my lower regions, and I realize I have to piss. Since the Dead don't drink, urination is a rare event. I hope I can remember how to do it.
Isaac Marion
#55. just munches away on tortilla chips and salsa like it's his last supper. Piss me off enough, it just damn well may be.
Silla Webb
#56. A lot of my humor centers on the act of telling jokes and I think this can prevent certain audiences from suspending their feeling of disbelief. It might piss a few people off, but I can't help it.
Michael Showalter
#57. Look guys, I am your worst nightmare. I'm a woman with a badge, a gun, and PMS. Are you really sure you want to piss me off any more tonight?
K.V. McMillan
#58. If you don't tell people your plans they can't follow along." "They don't follow along anyway," Tyler said. "Most of them do their level best to piss in your well just to piss in your well.
John Ringo
#59. A three-legged dog
successfully crosses the road
to a new location
where there is greener grass
to piss on
Wesley Eisold
#60. Curing RM is in the realm of magical pixies and talking dogs that piss whiskey. It's impossible.
Dan Wells
#61. Exquisitely embroidered tapestries lined the walls of Medb's bedroom, but their impact was somewhat reduced by the room's ambience. A musky odor with pungent accents of stale piss.
David H. Millar
#62. His appearance projected danger and reinforced the common knowledge that one did not want to piss off a demon, especially this one.
Kiersten Fay
#63. We investigate, we prepare, we execute. We find them, we take them down, and then we piss on their ancestors' graves.
Lee Child
#64. In the first years of our lives we learn how to shit, talk, walk, sleep, eat and, most importantly, how to royally piss off our parents.
A.G. Phillips
#65. I'm impressed you left to keep everyone safe." He tenderly massaged the area above my hipbone with his right thumb.
"I've seen vampire men cry and piss their pants after one hour in the sewers by themselves. You've been walking most of the day and all alone.
Kenya Wright
#66. I'm going to miss you, girls," he told the plants.
"You have names for them?" croaked Jane.
"This is Beatrice."
"You're not really a people person, are you?"
"Humans piss me off.
Adam Baker
#67. I did go through a Goth thing, but that was a long time ago. I just like artists that shake it up, that piss people off or make people think or rattle the cage somehow.
Lisa Marie Presley
#69. We Americans, we're a simple people ... but piss us off, and we'll bomb your cities.
Robin Williams
#70. To be a true poet is to become God.
I tried to explain this to my friends on Heaven's Gate. 'Piss, shit,' I said. 'Asshole motherfucker, goddamn shit goddamn. Cunt. Pee-pee cunt. Goddamn!'
They shook their heads and smiled, and walked away. Great poets are rarely understood in their own day.
Dan Simmons
#71. But for the love of piss, make some sort of decision. If you don't want to eat babies and nail bloodbags to walls, that's your choice. What Sarren did or made you do in the past has nothing to do with it now. You're a vampire. Do whatever the hell you want.
Julie Kagawa
#72. Eight years ago, I was a waiter, and I didn't have a pot to piss in. And now ... ? It's like I said to my wife: I love the fact that, if I was in a restaurant and Steven Spielberg walked in, I could go up to him and say, 'Hey, mate, how are you?' I think that's pretty amazing, actually.
Nick Frost
#73. You want to fuck the singer, but you would suck on any of them. A rim job, a piss shower, wouldn't matter. The band plays in nothing but tube socks hung over their cocks and sacks. They can make the socks swing like giant tittie tassels. You've never seen anything so sexy.
Amanda Boyden
#74. You know how they say revenge is best served up cold? I'd say it's best not served up at all. Revenge is a great motivator, but it doesn't help achieve the desired results. I've seen guys lose buddies, then go off half-cocked, piss fuel running through their veins. Things never turned out well.
Ellen Hopkins
#75. The last time anyone did anything wrong in this town, Hades's men found those responsible and dragged them back here in chains. You would have to be insane to actively want to piss that man off." "Insane or very sure of yourself," I said.
Steve McHugh
#76. Bonzo, he pre-cise. He so careful, he piss on a plate and never splash.
Orson Scott Card
#77. You are beyond mad," said Locke after several moments of silent, furious thought. "Full-on barking madness is a state of rational bliss to which you may not aspire. Men living in gutters and drinking their own piss would shun your company. You are a prancing lunatic.
Scott Lynch
#79. I could give a shit and piss who this is. She knows who we are. And she ain't got a little trickle goin' down her leg standing toe to toe with the bloodydamn Reaper of Mars, then she's got less brains than a wad of ass lint.
Pierce Brown
#80. I don't like country music."
"No one does. We listen to it to piss off other people.
Bijou Hunter
#81. I figure we go through things that make us stronger, but we also go through things that just simply piss us off.
Meg Winkler
#82. It's real, Six. You can't get mad at a real ending. Some of them are ugly. It's the fake happily ever afters that should piss you off.
Colleen Hoover
#83. Trust me, you see the dead walking around, you learn not to scream, laugh, or piss yourself pretty quickly.
Stacey Kade
#84. Must be the hair then. And the name change. And your new piss-poor attitude. Because every once in a while, I look at you and I don't see a Baby Doll anymore. I just see Alice Faye Dahl, Poker Champion Badass. With obvious, heavy influences from Ronald McDonald, of course.
Elle Lothlorien
#85. We shouldn't piss them off," explained Frankie, "because who knows what they'll do now that they've united.
E. Lockhart
#86. When I first called Jerry Wexler, the man everybody most associates with Berns's career, and told him I planned to work on this book, Wexler's affable tone disappeared. "I'll tell you this," he said. "I don't know where he's buried, but if I did, I would piss on his grave.
Joel Selvin
#87. Earlier today I had sex with a monkey and then roasted and ate it with a glass of choir boys' piss. I like to get in the mood.
Peter Milligan
#88. It's a piece of piss. You know what I do? I just get up and read the paper. Then people ask questions, and I just bullshit. Actively bullshit, as opposed to passively. That's the best bit. Just bullshitting. Piece of utter piss.
Neil Gaiman
#89. He curled his claw into a fist. "I'd like to shove a stake up that bastard's ass."
Adam's lip curled. "Remind me not to piss you off."
The demon raised his brow. "Trust that shit, mancy.
Jaye Wells
#90. Scrabble was invented by Nazis to piss off kids with dyslexia.
Eddie Izzard
#91. You've gotta be careful who you share your big dreams with. People often piss on them. Some will even talk you out of your aspirations, mostly because they've given up on their own.
Diane Guerrero
#92. In went water and loaves of blackbread and sausages and cheese, and out can shit and piss and language.
Kurt Vonnegut
#93. The woman who'd killed me was really starting to piss me off.
Sharon Stevenson
#94. Then why haven't you killed yourself? (Astrid)
Why should I? The only enjoyment I have in my life is knowing I piss off everyone around me. If I were dead, it would make them all happy. God forbid I should ever do that. (Zarek)
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#95. I am afraid to piss in the morning 'cause I don't want to waste any of my excellence
Miguel Torres
#96. Women are here to serve men. Look at them, they got to squat to piss. Hell, that proves it.
Larry Flynt
#97. I thought I was pretty damn clever. She said that was all right, she'd make three wishes. The first was that I wouldn't piss this money away being an idiot and forgetting I had
Nora Roberts
#98. This is why we must transcend our physical bodies. Because a body is always going to piss you off
Suzanne Morrison
#99. You listen to me now and stop cutting me off. It's rude." She stopped moving and dropped her hand. "You can't tell me what I can and can't do; where I can go and who I can see."
She stopped talking so he requested, "May I speak?"
"Only if you don't piss me off when you do it,
Kristen Ashley
#100. He wasn't looking at me, and I wasn't looking at him. "Sometimes I wonder if you make decisions just to piss me off."
I glared at the road. "Sometimes I wonder if you give yourself too much credit in my decision-making.
Catherine Doyle
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