Top 100 Um Quotes
#1. Do I use VORP? I may be using it and not even know it, and if I am, it's nobody's business. There are a lot of different criteria in judging players. I think I use, um, esoteric qualitative mathematical review times five. That's one of them.
Ned Colletti
#2. No' when no one answered, Derek looked from face to face, then settled his glower in me. 'absolutely not.'
'um, I was the one keeping my mouth shut' I said.
Kelley Armstrong
#3. Poppy: Um, can we cross running water?
James: Sure. And we can walk into people's homes without being invited, and roll in garlic if we don't mind losing friends.
L.J.Smith
#4. I am innocent I say, innocent... Um, what was the question?
Brian Clark
#5. Dance you guys!" Thalia ordered. "You look stupid just standing there."
I looked nervously at Annabeth, then at the groups of girls who were roaming the gym.
"Well?" Annabeth asked.
"Um, who should I ask?"
She punched me in the gut. "Me, Seaweed Brain."
"Oh. Oh right.
Rick Riordan
#6. In a 24/7 news cycle, with all the shrieking, howling voices and rapid-response and instant spinning and Soviet-style disinformation-mongering, a good idea has a shelf life of about, um, six seconds.
Christopher Buckley
#7. I definitely want to thank my doctor, Dr. Sandy, um, my psychiatrist, she really helped me relax a lot, thank you so much.
Metta World Peace
#8. Google is ridiculous. Everyone uses Google, and that's why Google has such an attitude. Because it's so popular, it's conceited. I mean, it has a serious attitude. Have you tried misspelling something lately? See the tone that it takes? 'Um, did you mean ... ?
Arj Barker
#9. I've been so lonely without you, you dick'
'Don't call me a dick'
'You are, we both are... Got a mental idea me um, why don't we fucking grow up? God, god I love you lol, I can't be with anyone else.
Shane Meadows
#10. Um. I feel the color in my cheeks rising again. I must be the color of The Communist Manifesto. Stop talking. Stop talking NOW.
E.L. James
#11. Are you boiling bacon? "Um. Is that wrong?" I say. "Argh! I want to punch you!" Leo says.
Roan Parrish
#12. The docks were said to be quite tough, but there were pubs you didn't go into if you were a respectable ... but um, I never felt a sense of danger in Liverpool.
Derek Taylor
#13. All - all right," she said, looking dubiously at the chair. "I - um, I need to change, though."
"I'll just wait in the hall." He straightened his spine and walked from the room, deciding he was the noblest, most chivalrous, and possibly the most stupid man in all Britain.
Julia Quinn
#14. You have what we in France call 'good time teeth,'" she said. "Why on earth would you want to change them?" "Um, because I can floss with the sash to my bathrobe?
David Sedaris
#15. There's someone I might be getting closer to, that's all. But it's not quite coming together yet. I think I'm not ready, either," I said. "Have you got ED?" she said. "Um, no, for a number of different reasons," I said, "but it might be something similar.
Banana Yoshimoto
#16. I think some period drama can be quite alienating, but 'Downton' isn't. This is going to sound quite, um, pretentious, but someone said that it's like a soap written by a poet.
Michelle Dockery
#17. I got a great grandma. Her name is Pearl, and she was at one time married to an Indian chief, who, in a wonderful crossing of cultures, she integrated some of his, and some of hers, and um,
it was a combination of peyote and preserves, and it was this hallucinogenic jam.
Eddie Vedder
#18. Are you following me?" He asked.
"Us?" I was the first to speak. "Um, maybe. Hi there. How are you tonight?"
He looked at me like I might be a bit crazy.
Michelle Rowen
#19. But let's be clear. We're talking about a country where there's no opposition. As leader he can ignore Parliament and - sorry that's Tony Blair isn't it? Um, so he doesn't even have to ask the country before he goes to war - sorry that's still Tony Blair.
Rory Bremner
#20. Are you a drinker?' the doctor asked. I heard the clunk clunk clunk clunk clunk of empty wine bottles hitting the bottom of my recycling bin.
'Um, I suppose I would say that.
Lauren Sams
#21. Um, didn't Mythbusters once do an episode about how you couldn't use sheets as a way out of prison?" I laughed. "I don't remember if they busted it or not.
Jesse Petersen
#22. My name," the boy said importantly, "is Stacey de Lacey."
"But that's a girl's name!" blurted Oliver.
Stacey de Lacey's face turned a dark shade of red. "Silence!" he shouted. "Stacey is one of those names that can be for a boy or a girl! Like Hilary, or Leslie, or...um... Anyway...!
Philip Reeve
#23. Is that all you bought?" His eyes shot to the left. "Um." I clenched my teeth. "What else?" "A Super Mega Juicer," he said quickly. "But, Sabina, seriously that juicer is a miracle machine." "I'm a vampire, Giguhl. The only liquids I drink are blood and alcohol. I don't do juice.
Jaye Wells
#24. Software is different than other products um, partly because it's, it's not physical and, and partly because of its complexity. You can express in software millions of different cases and making sure that you handle all of them correctly is extremely difficult.
Bill Gates
#26. For some reason, when people meet me and find out I'm a writer they always ask if I write children's books. Um ... please don't let your kids read my books. Well, unless your kids are in their 30s or something ... then yeah, they're old enough. LOL
Michelle M. Pillow
#27. I've had no money, absolutely, from my family. They paid for a good education - or schools that purported to be a good education - but, um, not a dime.
Whit Stillman
#28. I, um ... I'm not perfect. I have a little Buddha belly.
Kristen Ashley
#29. I'm a very, very handsome man, and have had to come to terms with it ... um, do I like the way I look? In the right light, and with a following wind.
Rob Brydon
#30. Well, um, actually a pretty nice little Saturday, we're going to go to Home Depot. Yeah, buy some wallpaper, maybe get some flooring, stuff like that. Maybe Bed, Bath, & Beyond, I don't know, I don't know if we'll have enough time
Will Ferrell
#31. Hey, um, I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm looking for a friend of mine," he says. "Have you seen her? She's a tiny little thing, cries a lot, spends too much time with her feelings-"
"Shut up, Kenji!"
"Oh wait!" he says. "It is you.
Tahereh Mafi
#32. I think she definitely has. I think, um, her and Mulder's relationship has become more equal. And, I think she has become stronger and more independent over the seasons.
Gillian Anderson
#33. Um ... Mercer? Haven't seen you in nearly a month. I was expecting something like, 'Oh Cross, love of my heart, fire of my loins, how I've longed
Rachel Hawkins
#34. Shh," he said. "Look."
"Where?"
"Can't you see'um?" he whispered. "All the Terabithians standing on tiptoe to see you."
"Me?"
"Shh, yes. There's a rumor going around that the beautiful girl arrving today might be the queen they've been waiting for.
Katherine Paterson
#35. Because he likes you, Melbourne. That's what guys do. They buy dinner and gifts, hoping that in return you'll - um, like them back.
Richelle Mead
#36. -Here's a pretty shell for you.
-Oh, thank you my baby.
-Look, here's another one!
-Thank you.
-Look at this pretty one!
-Thank you.
-Here's a REALLY pretty one.
-Um, thank you.
Jeffrey Brown
#37. No, no! The devil is an egotist,
And is not apt, without why or wherefore,
"For God's sake," others to assist.
[Ger., Nein, nein! Der Teufel ist ein Egoist
Und thut nicht leicht um Gottes Willen,
Was einem Andern nutzlich ist.]
Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe
#38. Grimm frowned. "Ah. Um. Am I in any danger?" "You're dead as a stone, man!" "I am?" "Yes. No, actually, not even remotely, but for purposes of this conversation, yes.
Jim Butcher
#39. Anyway, what about you? How's, um, Abby? Angie? What's her name?
Oh, Hudson. Your suavity is an example to us all.
Sarah Ockler
#40. Um, I guess you're still mad about that whole harpy fiasco. I swear, I thought those caves were empty." "How did you overlook a hundred harpies nesting in that cave? Did the giant carpet of bones not tip you off?" "Oh, sure, complain now. But we found the trod to Athens, didn't we?
Julie Kagawa
#41. People have tried to tell us that women aren't as visual as men. To which, I respond: Um, have you heard of Pinterest? Because YES WE ARE.
Sarah Bessey
#42. Apparently he's known as the "King of Selfies," this Instagrammer takes some, um, interesting photos. You'll be laughing the second you land on his page.
Don Blackwell
#43. Which lady would I like to meet? Um, I don't know that there's anybody left that I didn't meet. But the one that I really wanted to meet died and that was Princess Diana. I really wanted to get to know her. I like her.
Morgan Freeman
#44. The most important thing is playoff sex ... er ... um ... I mean success
Marc Crawford
#45. Did you feel me up when you were tying me down?"
"Um, no. Did you want me to?"
"Well, it would have been nice.
Lili St. Crow
#46. Our saving grace! Um, as a species [humans] we can be pretty warm and fuzzy. But maybe for this, it's the adaptability, or the heart and soul. We're not all that bad. I don't really know!
Keanu Reeves
#47. What do you think, Elizabeth?" Dad turned to me.
"Um, my name's still Chelsea. Remember, you named me that yourself? When I was born?
Leila Sales
#48. Um, yeah. For instance, take, you know, take, for instance, the issue of -- I'm drawing a blank, and I hate it when I do that, particularly on television.
-- potential McCain VP candidate Mark Sanford, asked on CNN to name differences in economic policy between Bush and McCain
Mark Sanford
#49. Where have you been?" he asked slowly.
"Um, in the bathroom, mostly," Larry said. Let's just say my plumbing is not working any better than Mexico City's.
Kevin Sylvester
#50. Um, tequila please?" I asked questioningly, enunciating each word as best as my drunken mouth would allow. So really, it came out as "Uff, shakira pea?
Tara Sivec
#51. How was your ... eh ... trip?"
Artemis felt the sting of tears in his own eyes. "Um, eventful ...
Eoin Colfer
#52. If we were in a spreadsheet, we'd be in different columns." She'd be under uptight/nerdy/homely girls, and he'd be under badass men with bodies of..um..Navy SEALS.
He grunted. "Just so you know, I hate spreadsheets with a hot, burning passion.
Dana Marton
#53. Dakota's head was stuck in his toga. He staggered around olike a Kool-Aid-stained ghost.
"Um," Percy said, "should I wear my bed sheets?
Rick Riordan
#54. Dearest Virgin - um, Oversexed Lassiter
J.R. Ward
#55. I will veto every single beer, um, bill with earmarks.
John McCain
#56. Oh, so how did the marrige counsling go?
Well let's just say after it was over there where two people who thought I was an ass. And i was paying both of 'um.
Jeff Dunham
#57. What would it be like to think what a gerbil thinks, from a gerbil's point of view? Kind of like Thomas Nigel's 1974 paper, 'What Is It Like to Be a Bat?' There's a subjective character of experience that's never captured in reductive accounts. Know what I mean?'
'Um ... Sure.
Steven James
#58. You make learning fun. Like a children's book or after school special. Tell me about your ... um, Athenian women.
Richelle Mead
#59. Um ... " I mumbled, "We wait."
"What? Wait? Do you expect them to just come up here to the beach to get some moonlight?" He sneered as he took another bite of the eagle.
Grace Fiorre
#60. Give me away?" "Yes. Um. Sort of like, one free wizard with every concubine sold? Um." "I don't see what vegetables have got to do with it." Conina
Terry Pratchett
#61. Dad? Um, listen. I have kind of a crazy story for you ...
Sarah Mlynowski
#62. No one expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise, fear and surprise; two chief weapons, fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency! Er, among our chief weapons are: fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, and near fanatical devotion to the Pope! Um, I'll come in again ...
Graham Chapman
#63. Um, um, um. Stop that thunder! Plenty too much thunder up here. What's the use of thunder? Um, um, um. We don't want thunder; we want rum; give us a glass of rum. Um, um, um!
Herman Melville
#64. Do you think that was good enough?"
"I ... um ... don't know,"
"Just to be sure.
Kiera Cass
#65. Thank you so much ... um, what's your name?'
'Nashira Jaynes.'
'I'm Jared Dernell,' he said, extending his hand.
Deepika Kumaaraguru
#66. We can arrange class time with, um, minimum interaction."
That's perfect. The part where the interacting is all minimum-y," Montgomery said eagerly.
That was almost a Buffyism," Mica pointed out to Ellen.
Almost," Ellen admitted grudgingly.
Tracy Lynn
#67. Um ... how's your nose?"
"It's fine," he says. "I think the bruise really brings out my eyes, don't you?
Veronica Roth
#68. A man walks into doctor's office. "What seems to be the problem?" asks the doc. "It's ... um ... well ... I have five penises." replies the man. "Blimey!" says the doctor, "How do your trousers fit?" "Like a glove."
Tommy Cooper
#69. Bella,leave the aggressive stuff to me."
My heart quirks in my chest. I may not like this guy but that sounded so hot. "Um ... " Focus,focus. "What?
Jenny B. Jones
#70. I, um, I have this problem. I broke up with my boyfriend, you see. And I'm pretty upset about it, so I wanted to talk to my best friend. [ ... ] The thing is, they're both you.
Jodi Picoult
#71. Aw, you were really cute when you were a kid."
"Hot, I think is the word you're looking for, Boston."
I glance at him over my shoulder. He's sitting on the arm of the sofa.
"Um, no, I definitely mean cute. Pedophilia isn't my thing."
"Ah, yeah, good point.
Samantha Towle
#72. He bailed on football practice." As soon as the words left me, my stomach pitched. This wasn't any of Phil's business. He chuckled. "So, the Golden Boy isn't so golden after all." He lifted his arm toward my house. "Walk you home?" "Um . . . OK," I heard myself agree.
Kerry Lonsdale
#73. People tell me all the time that I look forbidding or aloof. That doesn't bother me much - I am fairly private, withdrawn, and ... distant, I guess. But, um, I think that's okay.
Ric Ocasek
#74. Felt SO insanely happy I could just ... VOMIT sunshine, rainbows, confetti, glitter and ... um ... those yummy little Skittles thingies!
Rachel Renee Russell
#75. Um, she'll take your number if you're single
J.L. McCoy
#76. Tell me he's not talking to Brandon," Claire said.
"Um ... Ok. He's not talking to Brandon."
"You're lying."
"Yeah. He's talking to Brandon. Look, let Shane do his thing, okay? He's not as stupid as he looks, mostly.
Rachel Caine
#77. Um, Mindy is much less like Elizabeth Bennet than she is a combination of Carrie Bradshaw and Eric Cartman.
Mindy Kaling
#78. Juno MacGuff: [yelling through the house] Dad?
Mac MacGuff: What?
Juno MacGuff: Either I just peed my pants or um ...
Mac MacGuff: *Or* ... ?
Juno MacGuff: THUNDERCATS ARE GO!
Diablo Cody
#79. There was a great brightness and, um ... Imagine what it would look like if you could see music, or thought.
Rachel Hartman
#80. How is it possible that our parents lied to us?"
"Lets see: Santa, the Tooth Fairy,the Easter bunny,um, God. You're the prettiest kid in school. This wont hurt a bit. Your face will freeze like that ... "
"Everythings going to be alright.
Brian K. Vaughan
#81. When we think about lung cancer, the biggest environmental factor is without doubt smoking. Um, that would make a huge impact and has made a huge impact on the incidence of lung cancer. We have to keep pushing that and making it clear to everybody why smoking is so dangerous.
Laurie Glimcher
#82. You? Favorite thing to do?" "Um ... read, I guess. I'm a nerd." "I like to read too, that doesn't make you a nerd. Unless you're calling me one.
Shelly Crane
#83. Sawyer: Alone in your tent? Um, no. You're in my tent
Abbi Glines
#84. Max?" said the Gasman. "Are those, um, rats?"
Lovely. "Yes, those do appear to be either rats or mice on steroids," I said briskly, trying not to shriek and climb the walls like a girly-girl.
James Patterson
#85. Um, sorry we touched your precious," I say, pointing to his guitar. He chuckles. "Normally I'd want to break your fingers but since you knew what you were doing and used her for good instead of evil, I'll say it's no problem." "What constitutes evil?" "Taylor Swift.
Anne Mercier
#86. I saw a special on the Discovery Channel."
"You were watching the Discovery Channel?"
"Yes."
"Um, why?"
"I lost the remote."
"You lost the remote?
M. Leighton
#87. Well, if only I wasn't too much the gentleman to flay your spirit with a witty and cutting retort, madam, you'd be ... thoroughly ... um, wittily retorted at this very instant. - Locke Lamora
Scott Lynch
#88. I didn't mean to say that. Um, pay no attention to the lunatic inhabiting this body.
Thea Harrison
#89. Because I was into like proving myself, which was one of the big things that ah, that the whole military experience sort of offers a kid at that age, um, I went to officer candidate school. Um, and I graduated as a second lieutenant at the age of nineteen.
Peter P. Mahoney
#90. Um, I have an enormous faith in God. I have an enormous support system that also has that same belief.
Katey Sagal
#91. The winds," Jason said. "Father, can't you unleash the winds to send our ship back?" Zeus glowered. "I could slap you back to Long Island." "Um, was that a joke, or a threat, or - " "No," Zeus said, "I mean it quite literally. I could slap your ship back to Camp Half-Blood, but the force involved...
Rick Riordan
#92. There was a long pause. "Um, I'm afraid I don't know the word in English."
"The word for what?"
"I just said I don't *know* it!
Scott Westerfeld
#93. Sing before the spirits and dance with the earth deities
And you will be able to compose your own tune.
Then you and I, united, will clap hands joyously,
Singing 'tum-tiddly-um tum-tiddly-um-tum.
Hongzhi Zhengjue
#94. Walt's face lit up. "Sadie, Ptah was more than the craftsman god, right? Didn't they call him the God of Opening?"
"Um ... Possibly."
"I thought you taught us that. Or maybe it was Carter."
"Boring bit of information? Probably Carter.
Rick Riordan
#95. Look, Miss Victory ... " Percy tried for a smile. "We don't want to interrupt your crazy time. Maybe you can just finish this conversation with yourself and we'll come back later, with, um, some bigger weapons, and possibly some sedatives.
Rick Riordan
#96. Well, I'd rather choose to be beautiful, um, because, to be beautiful it's natural. But being smart you can learn ... you can learn, um, a lot of things ... a lot of things from the experience ... you can learn from a lot of things being smart.
Sarah Palin
#97. Something weird," Ben said. "You would think, with ninety-nine percent of us gone, the two percent would get along better."
Um, that would be one percent, Parish.
Rick Yancey
#98. My brother arrived some months after my father left. Um, and he ah, was thus eight years younger than me and it was um, you know, it was such a time that my mother probably had people wondering was it his.
Thomas Keneally
#99. That's got to be Nix," Benny said as he pulled the door open. "Hey, sweetie ... "
Morgie Mitchell and Lou Chong stood on the black porch.
"Um," said Chong, "hello to you, too, sugar lumps.
Jonathan Maberry
#100. Um. I'm really good at first aid. Like, the best. He was the god of healing, after all. He'd better be good at fucking first aid!
Rosanna Leo
