Two Guys Quotes

#1. I have gay friends, I support gay rights, I have nothing against the gay community, but when I see two guys kissing, I think it's gross. And, by the way, it's gross when 99% of straight people do it, too.

Artie Lange

#2. A bank in Washington was robbed by two men in George W. Bush masks. Luckily, right afterwards two guys in President Obama masks came and bailed the bank out, so everything is fine.

Conan O'Brien

#3. The best part of being married is that now when we walk down the street, people won't just see two guys and a kid, they'll have to see a FAMILY.

Patricia A. Gozemba

#4. I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys.

Woody Allen

#5. Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

Various

#6. When I see two guys kissing, I'm like, how come I can't kiss one of those guys? They look like they're having a good time.

Louis C.K.

#7. I've literally, in my entire life I've had two guys come up to me and ask me out. Other than that I have had to go and try to like spend time with them, or sort of start the conversation, basically like spell it out in a Sharpie, like, you know?

Jennifer Love Hewitt

#8. Two guys jumped us on the way to get food," Cameron answered. "Ty is like ... a ninja on crack. He beat them up pretty spectacularly. Then we stole with their car.

Abigail Roux

#9. Maybe I want everything to be as simple as two guys in bed together," he said.
"As simple as pleasing the man I belong to and making him feel better when he's in pain.

Kim Dare

#10. I get tips from Bob Gaudio. And one of my songs somehow caught the attention of one of my idols, Marty Panzer, who wrote big hits for Barry Manilow. So two guys who inspired me to write lyrics are now teaching me to write.

Erich Bergen

#11. When I grew up Carl Lewis was still running, Maurice Greene was running - he was that figure I see, like Michael Johnson. I really wanted to look up to the fast guys - so those two guys were some of the guys I looked up to.

Tyson Gay

#12. Honestly, being in a band with two guys has prepared me so much for when it's time for me to get married!

Hillary Scott

#13. Just because two guys are homosexual and happen to be the only two homosexuals on-screen doesn't mean they're going to be like, 'Oh yeah, let's get together!' It doesn't always happen like that.

Chandler Massey

#14. I am writing a book more improbable than 'The Interrogative Mood' that I call 'Manifesto'. It's two guys talking who speak artificially conveniently.

Padgett Powell

#15. I think about those two guys in the sky causing shipwrecks, causing things to burst into flame ...

Jandy Nelson

#16. Did you ever see Cheech and Chong's Up in Smoke? That's what happens if you really smoke weed and make a movie. You get two guys and no plot and it's basically like, 'Yeah! Let's drive a van made of weed!' And that's pretty much the movie.

James Franco

#17. When I was a sophomore, a friend asked me to go to a local acting seminar with him. Two guys were very interested in me and wanted me to come out to L.A. I wanted to finish high school before doing anything like that. I figured they'd just forget about me, but they kept after me for two years.

Jensen Ackles

#18. This isn't exactly a conversation two guys have over coffee. 'Hey, dude, how well does your wife shave your balls?

Tymber Dalton

#19. What was I thinking? He's been tied up for who knows how long and he's injured. I left him there alone to face two guys with guns. Some rescuer I am.

Leslea Wahl

#20. 'Will Grayson, Will Grayson' is about two guys named Will Grayson who live in different Chicago suburbs who eventually meet each other.

John Green

#21. I'll drive down the street, and I'll practice improv. I will sit there at a red light and see two guys talking to each other, and I will just start playing both characters. I can't hear them, but I can see their mouths moving, so I'll just put words in their mouths.

J. B. Smoove

#22. I like 'The Fault in Our Stars.' I thought those two guys did a really, really good job. The movie obviously did really, really well.

Jamie Blackley

#23. In 1998, in Laramie, Wyoming, two guys beat up Matthew Shepard and left him on the side of the road hanging on the fence to die. They killed him, because Matthew Shepard was gay. They killed him, because Matthew Shepard was gay? They killed him.

Christopher Titus

#24. You want to have two guys making out in front of your 4-year-old? It's OK with them. A guy smoking a joint, blowing the smoke into your little kid's face? OK with them. And I'm not exaggerating here. This is exactly what the secular movement stands for.

Bill O'Reilly

#25. Two guys enter the cage and only one comes out the winner. It gets you pumped because you know the other guy is trying to finish you and you want to finish him before he gets his chance.

Travis Browne

#26. If I hadn't met those two guys (Billy Martin and Whitey Ford) at the start of my career, I would have lasted another five years.

Mickey Mantle

#27. It takes two guys on a team to do very well in the end and be successful.

Ed Belfour

#28. When I kiss a girl for a part, people think it's sexy. But if two guys kiss, suddenly there's a backlash. It's a double standard.

Olivia Wilde

#29. And most of the wreckage revolves around two guys. Two guys that, for totally different reasons, are tearing me up inside. Two guys I want. Two guys I can't have. Two guys I can't stop thinking about.

M. Leighton

#30. The whole world goes on and on about love. Poets spend their lives writing about it. Everyone thinks it's the most wonderful thing. But, when you mention two guys in love, they forget all that and freak out.

Mark A. Roeder

#31. Pello, if I wanted two guys, I would have two guys, one's a big enough nuisance as it is.

Sally Courtnix

#32. I just had sex with two guys within two days. Two insanely, sexy guys that I could only dream of even kissing.

Victoria Ashley

#33. Near the pool table, two guys straighten from the shots they were lining up.
Dust places his pool stick on the table.

Katie McGarry

#34. The other two guys sat down. "I'm Gavin Strick," the kid in the Anthrax T-shirt said. "This here's Edward Vaugh, but everyone calls him U.V."
"As in sunlight," U.V. said with a white-toothed grin. "'Cause I get so much of it.

John Whitman

#35. I was born in 1929, that was the depression, so the golf course was manned by my father and two guys, they worked for my dad and they took me with them everywhere they went. And it was fun.

Arnold Palmer

#36. In a small spacecraft, it was hard for the other two guys to sleep when the on-duty man was talking to Mission Control regularly.

Henry Spencer

#37. I'll bring what I bring to the tale, but it's good to know you have two guys with the experience and know-how in big games.

Eli Manning

#38. I was mugged when I was 12. I had a portable radio, and I ran into this building and these two guys came in and hit me, busted me up and took the radio. After that I was very paranoid and I started taking kung fu and karate. But I didn't want to fight.

Freddie Prinze

#39. My biggest hero was Roman Gabriel, who was the QB of the Rams, and Roger Staubach. Those were the two guys I tired to emulate when I was little.

Warren Moon

#40. Two guys and I love them both. Loyalty divides and subtracts me from both of them.

Corrine Jackson

#41. I know a little about Hack (Wilson) because his picture is next to my locker. I am lucky to be there at the right time. People will now remember two guys, Hack Wilson and myself, and the season is not over yet.

Sammy Sosa

#42. I've never heard Daft Punk; I've never heard a track of theirs in my life. They're the two guys with motorcycle helmets on?

Henry Rollins

#43. If anyone knew where they were, I'd send the ISDBB (Incredibly Stupid and Dumb Beyond Belief) award to the two guys who tried to break in to the Ohio penitentiary.

Erma Bombeck

#44. Certainly it's a business and you've got to have a salesman, but in my mind, when you've got two guys doing the same thing, you don't need one of them.

Jerry Lawler

#45. Standing between these two guys you'd have to be me to know how I'm feelin'!

Buddy Guy

#46. He'd been a cop long enough to know what actual perversion looked like and it sure wasn't two guys or two women going out to dinner and holding hands.

Tere Michaels

#47. A 50-year-old company can innovate as well as two guys/gals in a garage.

Guy Kawasaki

#48. I just thought it could make a really cool movie. It's not that it's just a buddy comedy but it's all about two guys hating each other and towards the end they're good friends. I liked that these two guys were best friends from the very beginning, and they're crazy.

Sean William Scott

#49. Last week I was walking by a cemetery, two guys came after me with shovels. It was all about money.

Rodney Dangerfield

#50. So let me get this straight," Carter said. "The two guys you liked - one who was dying and one who was off-limits because he's a god - are now one guy, who isn't dying and isn't off-limits. And you're complaining.

Rick Riordan

#51. I don't mind seeing two guys kissing, you know, as long as they're clean-shaven.

Kevin Nealon

#52. As a businessman, you have to trust people. To find two people who lied the way [Vick and Petrino] lied, that's unique and that's not Arthur's fault. It's not a flaw of Arthur's. It's a flaw of these two guys.

Bernard Marcus

#53. I started a business with two guys I played with, Ronnie Lott and Harris Barton: Champion Ventures, it's a fund of funds. We have $400 million or so under management.

Joe Montana

#54. The phone beeped - M fine but these two guys R on me like cougars on Adam Lambert.

Elisabeth Staab

#55. The Republican Party is like the corpse in 'Weekend at Bernies' and the Tea Party is like the two guys who put sunglasses and a party hat on it and drag it around.

Bill Maher

#56. It's not any easier. We can't choose who we fall in love with. Besides, there's nothing abnormal about two guys being together. Nature made you the way you are and me the way I am. We're already living normal lives.

Jay Bell

#57. Hard work does pay, and you just have to continue to work, and you got two guys, when you're talking about Gary and myself, we have a God-given talent, but we worked at it and we're happy to be where we are today.

Jason Kidd

#58. People used to complain that selling a president was like selling a bar of soap. But when you buy soap, at least you get the soap. In this campaign you just get two guys telling you they really value cleanliness.

David Brooks

#59. Actually, since I'm gay I think I should count for two guys instead of just one. I mean, in me you get the male point of view and you don't have to worry about me wanting to touch your boobies.

P.C. Cast

#60. I can't fight.
I was once run over by a car with a flat tire, being pushed by two guys.

Woody Allen

#61. Leverage your brand. You shouldn't let two guys in a garage eat your shorts.

Guy Kawasaki

#62. I loved that these two guys argued with each other as if movies actually mattered. Nobody I knew talked about movies that way, but Siskel and Ebert took each movie as it came and talked about whether it was a success on its own terms.

Sarah Vowell

#63. The more I hung out with detective squads, the more there was always one guy or two guys or a woman who had a case that they were the primary on years ago, it was never solved, and they take that case into their retirements.

Richard Price

#64. Eddie scowled into his bowl of pretzels. The other two guys passed gas in harmony.

Rick Riordan

#65. Why can men no longer be best friends? This is so stupid. Today if you show two guys being best friends they end up giving out an image that they're gay. But guys don't always need to be drinking beer, fighting in pubs or pulling women by the hair. They may have a deep affection.

Henry Cavill

#66. A yard and left, Dave, he said. O'Donnell was like a blind man. His eyes were tight on the two guys

Lee Child

#67. Church socials, beauty shops and barbershops. If two guys were standing on a corner, I would cross the street to hand them campaign literature. And everywhere I went, I'd get some version of the same two questions. "Where'd you get that funny name?" And then: "You seem

Barack Obama

#68. Only two guys to a fight. One fight at a time. They fight without shirts or shoes. The fights go on as long as they have to. Those are the other rules of fight club.

Chuck Palahniuk

#69. They say you don't want to meet your heroes, but those two guys, you do want to meet them, because they do not disappoint. Walken has this amazing sense of humor, and Pacino is like just a sweetheart of a guy.

Bill Burr

#70. The first movie I literally ever made in my life was about two guys playing Stratego with each other. I had all my friends dressing up like the military characters in the game. So 'Battleship' is really my second board game turned movie!

Peter Berg

#71. I've never met anyone who had a monkey for a friend before. (Maggie)
I don't know. I think those two guys you were with would qualify as primates, but then, that's an insult to the primate and I don't want Marvin to get pissed at me. He has higher sensibilities, you know? (Wren)

Sherrilyn Kenyon

#72. Question: If you put a psychologist in a room with a man who thinks he's Napoleon and leave them there for a year (or ten or twenty), will you end up with two Skinner men or two guys with their hands in their shirts? Answer: Insufficient data.

Stephen King

#73. If you want to watch two guys knock hell out of each other, watch us.

Ricky Hatton

#74. My wife has cut our lovemaking down to once a month, but I know two guys she's cut out entirely.

Rodney Dangerfield

#75. I'd like to be remembered. I'd like to think that someday two guys will be talking in a bar and one of them will say something like, 'Yeah, he's a good shortstop, but he's not as good as ole Ripken was.'

Cal Ripken Jr.

#76. While I was walking I passed these two guys that were unloading this big Christmas tree off a truck. One guy, kept saying to the other guy, 'Hold the sonunvabitch up! Hold it up, for Chrissake!' It certainly was a gorgeous way to talk about a Christmas tree.

J.D. Salinger

#77. They have to convert our agenda into something aggressive. Two guys wanting to be happy together are invading their marriages. Helping a kid who's getting beaten up in school is promoting homosexuality. If you gave me a million dollars, I wouldn't know how to promote homosexuality.

Barney Frank

#78. I'm living with two guys. I'm living with a slob and a guy who sleeps all day.

Devon Sawa

#79. I mean, what's the elections? You know, two guys, same background, wealth, political influence, went to the same elite university, joined the same secret society where you're trained to be a ruler - they both can run because they're financed by the same corporate institutions.

Noam Chomsky

#80. 'The Duellists' won Cannes, but Paramount didn't know how to release a film about two guys in bizarre breeches, waving swords around. I actually think it's a pretty good Western.

Ridley Scott

#81. If I meet two guys at the same time and one of them is coming on really strong and talking a lot, and the other is more quiet and reserved, I'm going to like the second one. I want someone who isn't going to give it away in the first meeting.

Arielle Kebbel

#82. There's no dancing girls. We're kinda like secondary to the thing. It's a story about these two guys that are in love with this one girl and how it unfolds and what happens.

Eric Carr

#83. ... Something isn't right with you and this property. Strange things happen around it. I don't know what is going on, but I will find out. You could make it easier on yourself by coming clean."
"Sure. This is a magic bed-and-breakfast and the two guys in my kitchen are aliens from outerspace.

Ilona Andrews

#84. In writing a novel, when in doubt, have two guys come through the door with guns.

Raymond Chandler

#85. That's the one part where being brothers makes a difference. It's just instinct. That's the charm of what the Everly Brothers are: two guys singing as one.

Don Everly

#86. In a movie like this, the relationship between the two guys is crucial. It sinks or swims on how these two guys are together. I think we did a good job.

Eddie Murphy

#87. New England has two factors to get them ready to play. They've consistently been, if not the best, the second best team all year and they're playing confidently. And a lot of those guys were on field when they lost to LA. They'll take motivation in that.

Landon Donovan

#88. I kind of grew up my whole life as an underdog. I had two older brothers who would beat on me and then let me know I wasn't much compared to them. And it's still like that. Guys like that keep you humble, being around them every day and realizing I'm still the little brother to them.

A. J. Hawk

#89. Fine tuning the institutions built by powdered wig guys two hundred years ago is a long shot at holding the whole thing together.

Terence McKenna

#90. Are you guys, like, in love? Brian asked in a girl voice.
Alexis and Jason locked stares because even though everyone had started laughing at Brian's jibe, the word was there, hanging between the two of them, waiting to be grabbed for their personal use.

Lindsay Chamberlin

#91. I didn't so much think I needed to address the shooting need. What we needed was somebody who could come in and play the two-three (shooting guard-small forward) spot. If he could've been a pure shooter, great. But if not, we still needed somebody to give us minutes there. I like the guys we've got.

Joe Dumars

#92. I walked two hours to an audition once and was so sweaty that someone said, 'Oh, you guys from New Zealand don't shower.'

Martin Henderson

#93. You can lose a game but, I see guys every week including myself, you lose a game, it's a tough loss, you're down, two weeks later you forgot about it. You know it's amazing how down you were, but all of the sudden you're like it never happened.

Brett Favre

#94. When I last looked, there weren't queues of eager guys under 40 hanging outside single ladies' doors begging them to give up work and have their babies. It takes two to tango and the same number, without medical help, to make a child.

Mariella Frostrup

#95. And I sort of look at us as two of the luckiest guys [Bill Gates the other] on the planet because we found what we loved to do and we were at the right place at the right time and we've gotten to go to work every day with super bright people for 30 years and do what we love doing.

Steve Jobs

#96. It gives the guys confidence and self-belief. Two or three years ago I think we would have lost it. The confidence that we have, we can actually nail it.

Kieran Crowley

#97. Strike two. Add dumb as a box of rocks to the list of why I don't like these guys. I got to my feet, deciding to play nice. After all, they were just poor dumb guys who couldn't help it that there weren't enough brains in their genes.

Dinah Katt

#98. I'm left on a lot of things. If two gay guys want to get married, I could care less. If a nut case from overseas wants to blow up their wedding, that's when I'm right.

Dennis Miller

#99. Kind of where you end up your ride on a horse is so important. It's a little bit like when you guys were younger & you were dating, that last two minutes of the date can be a real deal breaker. With these horses it's the same thing you know? You got to quit on a good note.

Buck Brannaman

#100. WIth football you can have up to 28 guys you consider starters, and if they can pick up the slack when some aren't playing so well, you don't have to turn those two game losing streaks into six-game losing streaks.

Tom Brady