Top 100 Quotes About Satire
#2. He burst into the house and ate Grandma, an entirely valid course of action for a carnivore such as himself.
James Finn Garner
#3. The old joke is that psychiatrists are doctors who can't stand the sight of blood. Maybe they can't stand it, but if they work where I work, they damn well better get used to it.
At least surgeons and prizefighters get to wear gloves
Mike Bartos
#4. An algorithm of infinite symmetry, life serving death by expanding its bounty, furthering its reach. Did the perpetrators appreciate their satire? Yes, it was practical, indignity as revenge, but for what?
Philip Schultz
#5. You're hopeless dumb
if you blindly tweet rumours
and get ripped on-line.
Ibnu Din Assingkiri
#6. Well, fame is a drug and when you take it away from an addict, things can get ugly.
Melissa Jo Peltier
#7. Quite possibly the only infinite power in the universe may be the human capacity for self-deception.
Michel Templet
#8. Only in California could the night air be lit not by fireflies, but radioactive porn star cumshots.
C.Z. Hazard
#9. If the sale of flesh could be made as easily as the sale of spiritual exemption, the prescience of a dedicated businessman might be well preserved.
Michelle Franklin
#10. But in terms of satire and comedy, our biggest and earliest influence was Mad magazine.
Jerry Zucker
#11. The only candidate I'd allow to play my music would be Bigfoot, and unless we're talking about foraging for squirrels, he's notoriously apolitical.
Greg Gutfeld
#12. The wizards were civilized men of considerable education and culture. When faced with being inadvertently marooned on a desert island they understood immediately that the first thing to do was place the blame
Terry Pratchett
#13. The verdict of this court is that the accused are guilty of witchcraft. The maximum penalty the law allows is to be burned to death.However, in view of your previous good background I am disposed to be lenient. I therefore sentence you to be burned alive.
Richard Curtis
#14. If you're going to get into social criticism with absurdity and satire, you can't be politically correct when you do that.
John Cusack
#15. Jersey Shore has killed more brain cells than alcohol, cocaine, and meth combined.
Michel Templet
#16. - Why did blondes vote for Clinton?
- They didn't know how to read and thought she can make their life hilarious!
Bryanna Reid
#17. Satire dramatizes better than any other use of it, the inherent contradiction of free speech that it functions best when what is being said is at its most outrageous.
Tony Hendra
#18. I write for fun. I had written a kind of media satire, but I doubt it will see the light of day. It was just a personal project.
Michael Hastings
#19. You're arguing in a circle," I said. "In a spiral," said Lamiel, "which is the best way to argue.
Harry Blamires
#20. I like the pooch. When I've had a dog's snout in my mouth, we tend to develop a special bond.
Randy Quarles
#21. Some books are lies frae end to end,
And some great lies were never penn'd ...
Robert Burns
#23. What is a miracle?
'Tis a reproach, 'Tis an implicit satire on mankind; And while it satisfies, it censures too.
Edward Young
#24. If you live your life with passion, every second will become an adventure.
Marie Guillaume
#25. Satire is traditionally the weapon of the powerless against the powerful.
Molly Ivins
#26. Everything was fine, would continue to be fine, would eventually get even better as long as the supermarket did not slip.
Don DeLillo
#27. Libations are for the gods. Cocktails are for mere mortals.
Jonathan Kieran
#28. Tomorrow is a satire on today, And shows its weakness.
Edward Young
#29. When you look at golf films before us they're all - garbage or satire. A lot of sports films tend to vilify the opposition. Where the opposition becomes this big angry monster, so big you can't beat him.
Shia Labeouf
#30. Everyone understood [Charlie Hebdo], as people had understood for hundreds of years, knowing that Rabelaisian tradition of French satire, they knew how to read it. And they understood the kind of release from piety that it represented every week.
Scott Simon
#31. I have actually known a case where a Woman has exterminated her whole household, and half an hour afterwards, when her rage was over and the fragments swept away, has asked what has become of her husband and her children.
Edwin A. Abbott
#32. My therapist told me that I over-analyze everything. I explained to him that he only thinks this because of his unhappy relationship with his mother.
Michel Templet
#33. Marriage is the legal method devised to end love without pain.
Tom Morrison
#34. Perhaps there's an innate human emotion inside us all that when we are presented with something we don't understand, we immediately want to kill it.
Todd Berger
#35. I know all those words, but that sentence makes no sense to me.
Matt Groening
#36. Apologize: To lay the foundation for a future offence.
Ambrose Bierce
#37. When you have satire, it has to be real. No matter how outrageous the comedy becomes, you have to believe in the characters.
Kevin Kline
#38. Now, Richard Pryor was unique. Many misunderstood his humor. He lit up the hallway, but they didn't understand his use of profanity. He didn't use it just to be using it; he used it in the context of his satire.
Bill Cosby
#39. My approach is I put God first; I say "God willing" all the time. The only way things will change is with God. So knowing that I can't really change anything, I'm just going to satire it.
Lupe Fiasco
#40. Satire must not be a kind of superfluous ill will, but ill will from a higher point of view. Ridiculous man, divine God. Or else, hatred against the bogged-down vileness of average man as against the possible heights that humanity might attain.
Paul Klee
#41. Love turns, with little indulgence, to indifference or disgust: hatred alone is immortal.
William Hazlitt
#42. Paul, there is something very slack about a future that will take a biting satire for a vapid dream.
R.A. Lafferty
#43. If you do it in the bookies, it's a bet ... If you pay some 23-year-old in an Armani suit two hundred grand to go to the window for you, it's a derivative.
Paul Murray
#45. There are worse things than eating the dead, my dear fellow. Far worse things. There is, for instance, making a huge profit out of their funeral, which is the normal custom in the civilized world.
Leonard Wibberley
#46. A little wit and a great deal of ill-nature will furnish a man for satire; but the greatest instance of wit is to commend well.
John Tillotson
#47. Cynicism is extremely contagious, and the most pious among us cannot long endure its potency. The gullible should be on their guard, however, since this endearing quality frequently masquerades as wit.
Mike Corbett
#48. I don't want to sound disingenuous here - controversy is obviously good for business, especially if your business is satire. And it does amplify the discussion - in my view, a good thing.
Garry Trudeau
#49. They say you can fool some of the people all of the time. Accordingly, I think we should concentrate on this group initially. We can move on to the people you can only fool some of the time at a later date if we deem it necessary.
Stephen Mitchell
#50. My main regret in life is that there is no MacArthur Fellowship awarded in the field of Panda Satire.
Anne Belov
#51. Modern critics, who refuse to let a plain thing alone, have now started a theory that Cervantes's work is a vast piece of "symbolism." If so, Cervantes didn't know it himself and nobody thought of it for three hundred years. He meant it as a satire upon the silly romances of chivalry.
Stephen Leacock
#52. He passed the lighter down the table until Descartes held it in one hand while setting the greasy cylinder down on the table. After smoothing it out, Descartes sparked up the lighter. With the lighter drawn near the grease, the aroma of burnt hair filled the board room.
Dylan Callens
#53. Kennedy didn't beat Nixon. Satire beat Nixon.
Chris Rock
#54. I guess if you get too close, the twinkling stops; they don't look like stars anymore.
Graham Spaid
#55. ...Mrs. Percy understood that staying beautiful all day long is the most important aspect of being married...
Tevin Hansen
#56. I believe that pop culture is just, like, so ready for 'Watchmen.' We tried so hard to ride that wave between satire and reality, and all the things that make you still care about the character, but you don't miss the commentary about them.
Zack Snyder
#57. Everything you're telling me was just a story, and now it's real.
Kathy Bryson
#58. Oh yeah, well I suddenly realises that she'd only been with my boyfriend at the Co-op Christmas do when I were eighteen. So I grabs her head and I stuck it through a display of them Muller's rices and I told her. That's for shagging Kevin Cooper you stupid fucking cunt.
St John Morris
#59. he pays his respect
by smiling at you
when others are looking
how he calls you a bitch
right after is truly amazing
Ymatruz
#60. Divorce is a marital welfare. It's just couples asking society to bail them out because they didn't do enough research before they got married. How is that our fault? Don't drag down my country's statistics just because you ran off and got hitched before you ever saw each other in a bad mood.
Stephen Colbert
#61. And evolution wasn't even properly invented until the late 1800s. Is that enough time to get a Labrador retriever from a dire wolf? I think not.
Bobby Henderson
#62. A lot of people come up here and they thank Jesus for this award. I want you to know that no one had less to do with this award than Jesus. He didn't help me a bit. If it was up to him, Cesar Millan would be up here with that damn dog. So all I can say is, 'suck it, Jesus! This award is my God now'!
Kathy Griffin
#63. The British ballads became a new kind of form in their hand. And out of them came the blues, a new kind of song of commentary and satire, a song form which, after all, has become the main musical form of the whole human species.
Alan Lomax
#64. Once you were in the hands of a Grand Vizier, you were dead. Grand Viziers were always scheming megalomaniacs. It was probably in the job description: "Are you a devious, plotting, unreliable madman? Ah, good, then you can be my most trusted minister.
Terry Pratchett
#65. ...I could feel her burrowing into my heart. I didn't know if the burrowing was like a kitten cuddling up to its mother or if it was like a chigger depositing its larvae underneath the skin of my ankles.
Jason Porter
#66. If you're going to give people 20 minutes of news satire, you've also got to give them Tiffani-Amber Thiessen or you're going to have rioting in the streets.
Jon Stewart
#67. But we were dragons. We were supposed to be cruel, cunning, heartless and terrible. But this much I can tell you, we never burned and tortured and ripped one another apart and called it morality.
Terry Pratchett
#69. Humor is essential to a successful tactician, for the most potent weapons known to mankind are satire and ridicule.
Saul Alinsky
#70. I don't do 'black music,' I don't do 'white music' ... I make fight music, for high school kids.
Eminem
#71. You can't spell "parentry" without "try." Of course, you'll make a few mistakes. The important thing is that the mistakes you make with your kids are the same ones your parents made with you. At least you know how those turn out.
Stephen Colbert
#72. I have been told the best things in life are free ~ I found them very expensive.
E.A. Bucchianeri
#73. Satire is what closes Saturday night.
Juvenal
#74. Some men are born sodomites, some achieve sodomy, and some have sodomy thrust upon them ...
Aleister Crowley
#75. The world is an asylum where the inmates keep the warders in their place.
George Herman
#76. It struck me that working digitally with a small crew, I could lay out a general plan for Famous and hope for mistakes which would create something more than satire and something less than truthful reality.
Griffin Dunne
#77. The moment you declare a set of ideas to be immune from criticism, satire, derision, or contempt, freedom of thought becomes impossible.
Salman Rushdie
#78. You can't debate satire. Either you get it or you don't.
Michael Moore
#79. Simonides, a poet famous in his generation, is, I think, author of the oldest satire that is now extant, and, as some say, of the first that was ever written.
Joseph Addison
#80. More often than not, you will never be judged by your intentions because the world can't read minds and very few will know the heart of a person they have not given time to know personally.
Shannon L. Alder
#81. An ignorant man who is regarded as knowledgeable by people who are more ignorant than him is still ignorant.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
#82. Friendly satire may be compared to a fine lancet, which gently breathes a vein for health's sake.
Samuel Richardson
#83. And it's really very difficult to kill someone when all your inner instincts would oblige you to take off your hat first!
Susan Kay
#84. Behind every preventable threat to the future of the human race lurks a boy in a man's body with both hands buried deep in the cookie jar set aside for future generations.
Daniel Prokop
#85. People who regularly abuse power don't like being laughed at'.
Pieter-Dirk Uys
#86. Satire or sense, alas! Can Sporus feel? Who breaks a butterfly upon a wheel?
Alexander Pope
#87. I'm a satirist, so I've got boxing gloves on if the person is worthy of satire. But I'm not an assassin. If that ever happens, it's only because something happened during the interview that got me going, and then I had to translate my feelings to the mouth of the character.
Stephen Colbert
#88. When the world has once begun to use us ill, it afterwards continues the same treatment with less scruple or ceremony, as men do to a whore.
Jonathan Swift
#89. Here's an easy way to figure out if you're in a cult: If you're wondering whether you're in a cult, the answer is yes.
Stephen Colbert
#90. I sometimes think humor and satire are more effective techniques for expressing social statements than direct comment.
Kristin Hunter
#91. By the very nature of satire or parody, you have to love and respect your target and respect it enough to understand every aspect of it, so you can more effectively make fun of it.
T. J. Miller
#93. Satire is a good tool for highlighting flaws or short-comings, but it is also a way to goad individuals, groups and governments into improvement, by juxtaposing reality with absurdity and not having a giant chasm in between.
Marietta Rodgers
#94. No, I say, it's fine.
Put a gun to my head and paint the wall with my brains.
Just great, I say. Really.
Chuck Palahniuk
#95. Satire lies about literary men while they live and eulogy lies about them when they die.
Voltaire
#96. Poverty does not always prevent a rich person from dating someone who is poor, unless the man is the one who is poor.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
#97. Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is utterly impossible to parody a Creationist in such a way that someone won't mistake it for the genuine article.
Nathan Poe
#98. Fifty grand for a paper bucket? Well it was all about context, you see.
Paul Christensen
#99. There is a satire that exists in 'My Arm,' but there is also an honoring of some of the stronger ideas that I've raided from visual art.
Tim Crouch
#100. The idea of 24-hour news, if you really step back, is pretty insane. Just even saying '24-hour news' almost has satire laced in it.
Adam McKay
