Dylan Callens Quotes

#1. He passed the lighter down the table until Descartes held it in one hand while setting the greasy cylinder down on the table. After smoothing it out, Descartes sparked up the lighter. With the lighter drawn near the grease, the aroma of burnt hair filled the board room.

Dylan Callens

#2. Well, that's not true. I need to work for a living."

"No, that's not true. You think you need to work like this because that's what you've been told. That is merely an idea put into your head. In actuality, you can walk away any time you want.

Dylan Callens

#3. Mazda paid little attention to Sartre.

"What's the matter? Afraid that you'll lose to a man? A mere mortal?"

This caught Mazda's attention.

"If you don't come and get me, I'll tell everyone that I beat a god. A giant pussy of a god.

Dylan Callens

#4. Is that a serious question? I'm God! I know things."

"Sure. Sure," Freud flipped to the front page of his notebook. At the top of the page scribbled the word megalomaniac, "Please, go on.

Dylan Callens

#5. So, he eagerly drove from Basel to Bayreuth before the festival began to watch the last rehearsals of The Ring Cycle. As he watched, it hit him like Odin's bowel movement: the opera was shit.

Dylan Callens

#6. Freya led Sartre to the first tent, near the water. Sartre pushed back the flap so that they could both enter. Two bushy-bearded gentlemen dressed as Vikings, one on top of the other, kissed hungrily at each other, making slurping spaghetti sounds.

Dylan Callens

#7. Sartre snickered. "Are you trying to make love to that thing, or put gas in it?" He stepped out of the car and flipped the heavy metallic switch, causing the machine to vibrate to life. Odin grunted a thank you as he squeezed the handle, "This liquid stinks.

Dylan Callens

#8. Loki spoke, "I agree, we do need some leadership. But you've had your chance, Odin. I think it's time for fresh ideas, to get things going. Some Lokimotion, so to speak.

Dylan Callens

#9. There's Buddha. If ever I met a hippy-slacker-God, it's Buddha. Just yesterday I had this strange run in with him. 'Buddha bless you,' he says to me. Out of the blue. So I ask him, 'Why do you refer to yourself in the third person?' He smiled at me, his eyes bloodshot and half-closed.

Dylan Callens

#10. God stared at his feet a little longer. He sighed, "Do you mean when it comes to the job itself? I don't know. It isn't what it used to be.

Dylan Callens

#11. Bullshit!" Thor shouted at the stage, causing the actor playing Estelle to look at the audience. Thor added, "Just leave. Be done with this nightmare of a play! Goddamn cowards!

Dylan Callens

#12. They wept with joy, happy to see him alive. A smile crept across Fritz while being smothered in their affection, but all he could think about, and what he never forgot, were those mountains.

Dylan Callens

#13. Wagner cleared his throat once again, then pounded a few chords on the piano. But something unexpected happened when he started to sing. He sounded like Kermit the Frog being run over.

Dylan Callens

#14. Freud kept himself amused while waiting for God by inhaling glue that was gummed up inside a plastic bag. In mid huff, God rushed through the door, "Oh my God, you have to try this," Freud giggled. "I'm so baked. And dizzy. Actually, I don't feel good at all.

Dylan Callens

#15. Mazda [Ahura] checked his phone and quickly received the message, "Neat," he cracked a half smile, "I think I like Twitter.

Dylan Callens

#16. Would you like to try some cocaine?" Freud offered, "I think you will find it picks you up quite nicely."
"No thanks," God declined, holding his soft hands up to show his resistance.

Dylan Callens

#17. Odin, not unlike Charlie Brown, sighed, "Good grief," then added, "Why are we going to let this, this, coward on our trip? What do you see in him that could make you want him to come along?

Dylan Callens