Top 100 Quotes About My Ex
#1. I started boxing when I was eight. Me and my brother Rafael started boxing in amateur tournaments when I was 13. My father was an ex-pro boxer.
Juan Manuel Marquez
#2. I've been accused of being a bit too keen on my football, not least by my three ex-wives.
Sean Bean
#3. Any time I sit down at my laptop to write and I'm feeling lazy, or that I can't be bothered, or if I'm generally just lacking inspiration, I sit there and remember life with my ex-wife, and the words flow from my fingertips.
Shane K.P. O'Neill
#4. Some summers my father would take us down to visit our grandmother in Louisville, who was an ex-slave, Susan Jones, and she had a shotgun shack they call it, and no electricity, a well in the back, a coal stove, kerosene lamps.
Quincy Jones
#5. For me, I still have feelings for all of my ex-girlfriends. In different parts of my life, I would miss that person. There's something that drew me to that person, and I shared something with them.
Miles Teller
#6. The day I showed up to South Carolina to work, I was with my kid and my ex and our dog and Kirk was hanging with this weird guy and I kind of defined the two of them by his friend and made a vow to avoid him.
Donal Logue
#7. If I call him back here," Cooper whispered in her ear, "will you crawl up my body again?
Jill Shalvis
#8. I had one of the best days of my life. I spent the afternoon with my two kids and my ex-wife at Serendipity. Then I came to the theater, and you know, I think I did the play the best I've ever done it.
Gabriel Byrne
#9. My ex would know not to talk to me until I came back from running. I'd always be in a better place.
Arielle Kebbel
#10. My sister is running away to get lost, but I am running away because I want to find something. And my parents love me so much that they want to help me. Yeah, Dad is a drunk and Mom is an ex-drunk, but they don't want their kids to be drunks.
Sherman Alexie
#11. Limp as a ragdoll on the floor, time stands still. All I can think is that he's gone; my husband or soon-to-be ex-husband. There was so much more that still needed to be said. Now, I won't ever have that peace or that chance.
A.M. Willard
#12. Do you know what I did? I urrrrrinated on the cake at my ex-wife's wedding. Pissssed all over the icing.
Melvin Baylor - Seven Up
Janet Evanovich
#13. Dash is for sure straight!" Boomer announced. "He has a super-pretty ex-girlfriend named Sofia, who I think he still has a thing for, and also, in seventh grade, there was a game of spin the bottle and it was my turn and I spun and it landed at Dash, but he wouldn't let me kiss him.
David Levithan
#14. My ex-girlfriend said to me, 'I'm surprised at how normal you are since you were homeschooled.' But I was only homeschooled because I wanted to be an actor. My parents are both teachers.
Reece Thompson
#15. I'd rather sit in bed and watch TV. All of my ex-boyfriends, of course, not Paris, would be like, 'What's the problem? You're so not sexual.'
Paris Hilton
#16. My parents, my teachers, my friends, my ex-wife-everybody held up a mirror and I accepted the image that came back. Well, it finally dawned on me that my reflection in others' eyes was the truth once removed.
Richard Moran
#17. I didn't need one so pissed at his ex-wife he'd make me fall in love with him before apologizing for leading me on. He wanted to hurt women, and nothing froze my creative juices like heartache.
C.D. Reiss
#18. I poured some coffee into a mug that read: "I'm not gay, but my ex-boyfriend is," compliments of Peyton
Sandi Lynn
#19. My wife - an ex journalist and current TV producer - has a rule that she taught me at the start of B3ta. Does the item make you laugh, or does it make you go, 'Oh my God?' If you score on either count, then you have something that is worth sharing.
Rob Manuel
#20. I left my parents' home when I was 22, I moved to New York with my ex-girlfriend. We did a film together with Raul Julia.
Demian Bichir
#21. I depart from life as from an inn, and not as from my home.
[Lat., Ex vita discedo, tanquam ex hospitio, non tanquam ex domo.]
Marcus Tullius Cicero
#22. I was the biggest George Harrison fanatic in the world. He was raised Catholic; my parents are both ex-clergy, so I was raised Catholic, and I admired how he used his faith.
John Fugelsang
#23. I've always been a person who tries to build bridges and not walls. Whether it's my ex-wife and my step-son, or my daughter and my ex, I'm that guy in the middle, and I try to make sure we all stay together.
Chad Coleman
#24. One of my mother's friends said to me, 'Your ex-boyfriends didn't stand a chance with you and your mother.' And I think I probably was unfair to them because she was the first person and the last person I called about every single thing. Sorry, ex-boyfriends.
Lily Rabe
#25. The drink? Yes, I've had tough times in my life, especially the last year, regarding my ex-wife, my kids, I nearly broke my neck, I was on death row with pneumonia.
Paul Gascoigne
#26. Nick as in my former boyfriend Nick. Ex-rat, ex-boyfriend, ex-alive if I ever got hold of him Nick.
Kim Harrison
#28. I got caught kissing my dad's ex-girlfriend - at his wedding!
Lee Ryan
#29. I saw my ex-husband in the street. I was sitting on the steps of the new library.
Hello, my life, I said. We had once been married for twenty-seven years, so I felt justified.
He said, What? What life? No life of mine.
Grace Paley
#30. You ask me about my ex-wife? That is not polite. But I will answer. I got another wife now. Much younger, much nicer, much prettier. And so much more intelligent than Benetton.'
Oliviero Toscani
#31. We linked hands - my ex-boyfriend, my boyfriend, and my former friend-then-enemy-then friend and I - and walked through a door to see if maybe empty carbs were good for something after all.
Kiersten White
#32. My boyfriends have all been as stoical as queen's guards. They'd been patient, committed, and dispassionate, and I'd had to really debase myself to extract any emotion, either grin or grimace, from them.
Koren Zailckas
#33. Dennis faced him. They glared at each other again. Neither said a word until Dennis set the glasses down, leaned back against the counter, and folded his arms over his chest. "You're an idiot." "Seems to be a common conclusion. You're not my favourite person right now either.
Sloan Parker
#34. Has anyone else here seen or fought a nightmare?"
Marshal Spence Neumann lifted his head. "Seen one. Swear to God it looked like my ex-wife for a second."
A chuckle rumbled within the group. Someone mumbled, "She was a nightmare.
Erin Kellison
#35. It's cool because I think 'Ex Machina' is a little bit under the radar, which is always when I do my best work - when I feel like no one's paying attention.
Brian K. Vaughan
#36. I was working as a cocktail waitress in a heavy metal bar. Then, my manager said I should try some acting, which led to an audition Satisfaction, where I played a musician in an all-girl band. That movie is where I met my future ex-husband Jody Porter.
Britta Phillips
#37. My dad's an ex-policeman, and my mum is a sales representative, and they haven't got the acting bug. Bless them.
Olivia Cooke
#38. I kept flashing back to an argument I used to have with my ex. Every time I vented about work, he rushed to hand-craft a solution, which was an irritating habit. All you want to do is fix me, I spat at him once. But I never thought to ask - Why do I have such a high tolerance for being broken?
Sarah Hepola
#39. I would think you'd have better things to do right now than look up the marital status of my ex-boyfriends on the Internet," Mom had said to him, scathingly.
"I like to keep track of their mating habits," Dad had smirked.
Meg Cabot
#40. Her face dares me to ask her more, but I've reached my quota of daring things (1 = following cute girl, 2 = yelling at ex-boyfriend of cute girl, 3 = saving life of cute girl, 4 = asking out cute girl) for the day.
Nicola Yoon
#41. I think that my regrets mostly have to do with my relationship with my ex-girlfriend. Every once in a while, you get those flashback memories of conversations you had with your exes, and you just, like, wince when you're walking down the street. Something occurs to you, 'Oh, no, I said that.'
Mike Birbiglia
#42. I've got three women in my life: my mama, ex baby mama and my new baby mama.
Felipe Esparza
#43. My ex calls the ochre winter 'autumn' as we queue to hear dock boys play jazz fugues in velvet dark. - Broken Verses
Kamila Shamsie
#44. I am divorced, and one of the things I am tremendously grateful for is that my ex-husband and I made a decision to go through mediation. I knew a trial would drag on for years, would cost me everything, but worse, would be devastating for our four small children.
Jane Green
#45. I killed my ex lovers
and buried to my memories' grave.
It is January
And I am tired of being brave.
Arzum Uzun
#46. My ex - may he soon discover tiny worms have invaded his body and are slowly eating him alive - once told me God made men so perfect because He'd wanted to make up for the inadequacies of women.
Gena Showalter
#47. My ex-husband happens to be one of the most gifted moviemakers. And what is so bizarre about working with someone like that? I guess it is bizarre to be good friends with your ex-husband.
Ali MacGraw
#48. Many of my ex-girlfriends were habitual half-asian daters. These women considered half-asian men 'exotic,' 'sexy,' and 'just-like-Keanu Reeves-in-the-Matrix. I consider these stereotypes appropriate because I got laid.
Kip Fulbeck
#49. One of my ex-husbands thought I had a breast job. They looked bigger. I just got the proper lingerie.
Cybill Shepherd
#50. In the words of Richard Driehaus, "The stock market is like a woman. You observe her. You respond to her. And you respect her." That is not as easy as it sounds. Just ask my ex-wife.
Gary Antonacci
#51. Nothing says 'no big deal' like having my sorta ex-fiancee help me put my pants on.
Shannon Messenger
#52. I've spent the past two years looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer ... but no one will do it.
Anthony Jeselnik
#53. Yes," I said. "My name is seven-five-nine-nine-three-nine-ex-dash-one. Junior.
James Patterson
#54. My father's very public life as Famous Amos was the opposite of that of his ex-wife, my mother Shirley, who was fighting a very private, solitary battle with mental illness.
Shawn Amos
#55. All my life there's always been an ex-wife or a girlfriend.
Ronnie Wood
#56. My sense of loneliness was not particularly great until I reached sixty. From that time on, I would have given an ex-king's ransom if I had been able, in my youth to seduce a lady into thinking of me as a handyman and provider around the house.
Frank Crowninshield
#57. I love my fed-ex guy cause he's a drug dealer and he don't even know it ... and he's always on time.
Mitch Hedberg
#58. When my last relationship broke up, I bought a house one door along from my ex so that our daughter could continue to see as much of both of us as possible. This seems to me eminently sane and civilised.
John Niven
#59. Most of my ex-girlfriends are still close friends. I guess when you are with someone that long, unless they did something really terrible to you, you remain friends. My real estate business is run by my best friend, who is an ex-girlfriend.
Ryan Kavanaugh
#60. Of course I began to see Nikki, which was strange because I was staring into Danny's eyes, and Danny is a six-foot-three black man who looks nothing like my ex-wife.
Matthew Quick
#61. My ex ask me where I'm moving I said 'On to better things.'
Drake
#62. My ex-wife has never broken 150. I wish she would stop telling people I taught her how to play golf.
Bruce Lansky
#63. I do feel free, I have patched things up with my ex-husband to the degree of this real friendship. We spend a lot of time together as a family with our son, no way will we be man and wife again.
Beccy Cole
#64. I couldn't catch a ball if it had Elmer's Glue all over it. And my father had to be this ex-football star. He didn't know what to tell his friends, so he told them all I had Polio. On Father's Day, I used to limp for him.
Matthew West
#65. Ex-girlfriends will find themselves in my new routine. Sometimes they like that, and sometimes they definitely do not. But comedians should come with a giant warning or disclaimer: IF YOU DATE ME, IT WILL BE IN MY ACT.
Dane Cook
#66. The embryo of my second novel, Bobby's Diner, came to life because of my husband's ex-wives. Let's just say, they inspired the writing.
Susan Wingate
#67. At one point I found myself simultaneously cursing him and reaching for the phone to call him and tell him all about how my terrible husband had wronged me, as if there were two versions of him: the imposter who had just hurt me, and the real Tom, who would curse imposter Tom and make it all better.
Camille Pagan
#68. My mom and I were super close when I was a kid, her and I sort of ran off from her ex-husband. It wasn't such a good time for us and I remember listening to The Distillers with her. One time I actually asked her, 'Mom, can I shave my head into a mohawk?'
Hayley Williams
#69. My ex send late night text cause she don't know to let go
Drake
#70. And me having kids, with my family history? My mom: mentally ill, shot and killed her last husband. My father: six ex-wives, four heart attacks. Both of my parents think alcohol is a food group.
Christopher Titus
#71. You should change your Password"
"not exactly a priority so I haven't got'round to it"
"I'll do it for you"I offered.
His arms gave me a squeeze and he grinned.
"What'll you chose?"
before I could stop my mouth from forming the words, I said "Shebitchfromhell666
Kristen Ashley
#72. What? Why didn't tell me?" Rye grinned. "By that point I was ninety percent certain you weren't a murderer. Call me foolish, but I kind of wanted to keep it that way." "Believe it or not, I haven't fantasized about killing my ex for months.
Cindy Blackburn
#73. My ex was about as handy as a back pocket on a T-shirt.
~Dixie
D.B. Woodling
#74. Grocery shopping was intimidating...the aisles were filled with everything from jumbo to miniature travel-sized rations. Who could I call to ask, "Does the size even matter?" I dare not ask my ex-wife.
Tez Brooks
#75. For me to forgive my ex, he would have to sign a marriage contract with his tears and seal it with his blood.
Natalya Vorobyova
#76. The burn is my girlfriend, failure is my ex. I'm married to the track and engaged to success.
Andre Bramble
#77. Which is where I met my my husband. Not currently my husband. My ex. Though he wasn't that then. I never know how to say that."
"Allow my copydesk expertise to intervene: your then-pre-husband, later-to-be-post-husband in his prior-to-ex-husband status.
Tom Rachman
#78. I can't go too much into my domestic life because there are ex-wives ready to do me in.
Frank McCourt
#79. In my experience, staying in a marriage that my ex and I both agreed had all its best moments behind it was epically depressing.
Ariel Gore
#80. I smashed all the windows in my ex-boyfriend's truck." "You did what?" I couldn't have heard her correctly. That did not happen in real life. Country songs, yes. Real life, no way.
Abbi Glines
#81. Ex-D-boy, used to park my Beamer
Now look at me, I can park in my own arena
Jay-Z
#82. My second ex-wife was really kind of like a ship passing in the night. Only she turned out to be the Exxon Valdez.
James Woods
#83. Someone once told me that there is more to life than golf. I think it was my ex-wife.
Bruce Lansky
#84. At the factory, I deal with ex-cons, substance abusers, and sexual harassers. And I'm not just talking about my mom.
George Lopez
#85. I'm in a happy relationship, me and my ex are on really good terms, my kid and I are in a good spot.
Robert Downey Jr.
#86. My finances have been decimated by a group of people, such as my ex-attorney, my ex-business manager, and an estate planner, specifically. And they have conspired together to - to co-op my corporations, put in trustees without my knowledge.
Randy Quaid
#87. I'm a disgruntled ex-civil servant, and I'm armed. If you don't process my license right now I'm going to start making small, yet significant holes in people.
Howard Tayler
#88. Callin my ex-girl or e-mailin my mama, you're the only one that's causin me this drama.
Drake
#89. I was looking for my ex-lover to break the Sixth Commandment.
Joshilyn Jackson
#90. And I had just kissed my ex-girlfriend, who had cried, while my current girlfriend was in jail. So far, it had not been my best day.
Mark Zero
#91. Nothing so good as bein' right with Jesus, my sister. I was being evangelized by an ex-con.
Faith Hunter
#92. I'd never kissed a girl before. Ever. And I never thought the first girl I kissed would be drunk, vomiting, and crying over her ex-boyfriend. Not to mention, she went to school with my little sister.
Beth Fred
#93. My Anorexic Ex was so skinny she didn't give head, she gave skull
Josh Stern
#94. It was great to play an ex-marine cockney thug. All my roles are as different as the colours of the rainbow.
Luke Treadaway
#95. Next to her Percy coughed. This place smells like my ex-stepfather.
Rick Riordan
#96. I saw Farrah Fawcett originally when she and her boyfriend, Lee Majors, came over to my house for a birthday party that I was having for my ex-wife, Leigh Taylor-Young.
Ryan O'Neal
#97. But when I gave bl0w jobs to my ex, I secretly hated it. What's pleasant about sucking on a stiff, veiny appendage that spurts pee and sperm?
Daria Snadowsky
#98. With two women every week in England and Wales being killed by their partner or ex-partner, we need to act now to end domestic violence. I am only too pleased to add my name to the Real Man campaign for Women's Aid.
Tom Aikens
#99. Do you have any idea where she could be? Friends? Family? An ex or a secret boyfriend?" Kenny asked. If I did I wouldn't be here wasting my time with you, would I? "I
J.C. Reed
#100. My mother was an ex-nun, and my father was a Franciscan brother, so I grew up believing in Jesus the way anyone would believe in Mom's first husband.
John Fugelsang
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