Top 97 Quotes About Dry Humor
#1. A lot of people don't get my humor. My mom calls it dry humor. I think that means "not funny," but it also means I'm the only one who ever knows it's a joke.
Kasie West
#2. I could tell you what my good qualities are. There's my honesty; I have a very wacky, kind of dry humor that a lot of people don't get to see.
Shannen Doherty
#4. Mounting anything on a plaque instantly transforms it from trash into an award. For example, a dry disposable pen goes from junk clutter to the first annual writer's award for dry humor.
Jarod Kintz
#5. What New England is, is a state of mind, a place where dry humor and perpetual disappointment blend to produce an ironic pessimism that folks from away find most perplexing
Willem Lange
#6. What do you need?" I asked, sitting beside him and fumbling through the mishmash in my lap. "How about this?"
I examined a container and read the label.
"Will belladonna do?"
"That's a poison, dear.I'd prefer if you didn't give me that." Even with his ghastly injury,his dry humor survived.
Cayla Kluver
#7. Jeffrey Zeldman had an astonishing ability to craft a seductive coolness using educated references, dry humor, and retro/organic imagery.
Matt Mullenweg
#8. Jack has been cracking the whip. Er ... I mean ... " I flush and fall silent.
Christian says nothing for a moment.
"Cracking the whip, eh? Well, there was a time when I would have called him a lucky man." His voice is full of dry humor. "Don't let him get on top of you, baby."
"Christian!
E.L. James
#9. I like very dry humor. I don't like things that are over the top. I like subtlety. I like things that are nonchalant. I like characters that are sort of monotone and based in dark comedy.
Emily Rios
#10. There are four ways to manage stress. There's drugs, there's alcohol, there's sex, and there's doughnuts. I go with sex and doughnuts. I tried the other two and it wasn't any good. You being in a dry spell, you might have to rely on doughnuts.
Janet Evanovich
#11. I don't get it. Basketball is so supremely boring. I can't understand the point of watching ten giants running from one end of the field
court
to the other throwing an orange ball through a hoop in the air. I guess it's better than golf, but so is watching paint dry.
Carter Quinn
#12. We keep electing council members for appearance sake, it doesn't mean anything, and it is just a show for the people, so that they may sleep well at night with their delusion of peace.
S.R. Gibbs
#13. The fun, joy, and humor dry up in a relationship when one of the partners is swimming in gin. To my way of thinking, it is selfishness personified to see life through the bottom of a liquor bottle.
Ginger Rogers
#14. I think some of the big characters, you know, they do these adventures, but they've got something about them, they've got this charisma, and they've got to have a sense of humor. Because whether it be very dry, or very silly, they've got to be likable.
Rhys Darby
#15. The devolution of American culture takes another great step forward
Michael Chabon
#16. You're never going to go. Why would you go? It's a disgusting place. It's always wet even when it's dry. There's nothing there. Farmers aren't really people, you know this. They're just necessary, we need somebody to kill cows.
Dylan Moran
#17. I really hate sitcoms on television with canned laughter and stuff. What really makes me laugh is the real-life stuff. I've got a dry sense of humor.
Katie Price
#18. His father was an ass and he is an ass. I imagine sooner than I should like I shall be playing uncle to a litter of asses.
T.A. Miles
#19. Richard didn't mind Gwyn being rich ... Having always been poor was good preparation for being rich. Better than having always been rich ... The well and all its sweet water would surely one day run dry.
Martin Amis
#20. I dry heaved, forcing myself to try and not chuck up my guts. I had been f**ked by an insect man.
Mark Alders
#21. People have found her somber, but it is sometimes because her humor is so deadpan dry that it escapes many.
Irin Carmon
#22. Don't be a scaredy-human," called Emerald. "Gran-Doyen says I can't burn you up, so I won't." Then under her breath, she added, "Though accidents do happen." (Emerald to Ethan)
Jackie Castle
#23. I think sometimes my humor is extremely dry, and a lot of times I would say things that I thought were very funny but ... I have a reputation of - people think of me as a very fundamentalist, humorless fellow.
Ian MacKaye
#24. Life is short. Eat dessert first
-Wendy Mass, Jeremy Fink And The Meaning Of Life
Wendy Mass
#25. I turned to watch the women on the dance floor, laughing and smiling and watching Travis and Megan vertically dry fucking.
Jamie McGuire
#26. I'm very confident that Nick Hornby always gets it right as a writer. He has the vernacular and passion. He is adroit and dry, and balances humor with the humanity of life.
Pierce Brosnan
#27. The wacky thing about those bad guys is that you can't count on them to be obvious. They forget to wax their mustaches and goatees, leave their horns at home, send their black hats to the dry cleaner's. They're funny like that.
Jim Butcher
#28. Nat realised they had a lot of talking to do, but she did question Isabella's timing. In her experience, matters of the heart should not be discussed when one party had a silicone cock strapped to their waist while the other's mouth went dry at the thought of it entering her.
Harper Bliss
#29. Aren't you going to dry the floor?' asked Annika.
'Oh, no, it can dry in the sun,' answered Pippi. 'I don't think it will catch cold so long as it keeps moving.
Astrid Lindgren
#30. The river that never run Dry, always have a generous amend to flourish
Bobby Vj
#31. Don't spend two dollars to dry clean a shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army instead. They'll clean it and put it on a hanger. Next morning buy it back for seventy-five cents.
Billiam Coronel
#32. Dyspepsia is responsible for many a reputation for romantic melancholy or ungovernable rages.
Agatha Christie
#33. You got me a birthday cake. It was pink. I smashed it into the ceiling.
Karen Marie Moning
#34. I will always choose to be an imbecile. I couldn't cut it as an old fashion, and dry gal.
Mary Sage Nguyen
#35. BIO'GRAPHER: A writer of lives; a relator not of the history of nations, but of the actions of particular persons.
Samuel Johnson
#36. He had three
incision sites: one where the microscopic camera had gone in and
two where they'd done the actual work, and the abuse he'd taken
today went straight to her heart. "Oh, Pace."
"I'm guessing that wasn't an 'Oh, Pace, you're so sexy, take me.'
Jill Shalvis
#37. Laugh until you cry;
never let your eyes look dry
This is not a matter of joke;
this is all to provoke
our sense of humour
Life is its own consumer!
Munia Khan
#38. What surer sign is there that the creative aquifers are dry than a writer creating a writer-character?
David Mitchell
#39. I worked in a health food store once. A guy asked me, 'If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?
Steven Wright
#40. What you're experiencing isn't a dry spell. It's a dust bowl. Tell me, do you find cob webs in there every time you get yourself off?
Parker S. Huntington
#41. When I began a diet a week before my stroke, I never dreamed of such a dramatic result.
Jean-Dominique Bauby
#42. I would rather be considered an imbecile, than an old fashioned and dry gal.
Mary Sage Nguyen
#43. The Australian sense of humor is very dry, sarcastic, and very undercover. Like if I tell any jokes in America, people just think I'm serious! So I just quit telling any jokes whatsoever.
Heath Ledger
#44. I think American guys tend to be a bit more forward, a bit more chatty and open than the Brits. The Brits seem to have a darker sense of humor, though I have met some Americans who have adopted bits of the British dry sense of humor as well.
Hayley Atwell
#45. She was so young how could she understand ... Exactly how young was she Matthew's mouth went dry.
"Dearest how old are you "
"Almost twenty."
Damnation. He was a bloody cradle robber.
Lydia Dare
#46. Why do big men tend to have such little brains? Perhaps they get by on brawn too often, and their minds dry up like plums in the sun.
Joe Abercrombie
#47. The perfumes of lords and ladies tickled at my nose: lavender and orange oil. On the road, shit has the decency to stink.
Mark Lawrence
#48. Wonderful. I'm stranded with the least creative Ramblers.
M.L. LeGette
#49. By now, I should have learned that luck, if she was a lady, was a mean-spirited bitch with a grudge against me.
Jaye Wells
#50. Baby, I could watch you watching paint dry, and I still wouldn't be bored." Garrett Graham, my own personal sweet-talker.
Elle Kennedy
#51. A pelican that is wet walks with a gaited limp, and the dry fish swims alone.
Bill Cosby
#52. How will it look to everyone at dinner if the servant who left with Amarinda fails to return?
How will it look if that servant's bandages bleed through and he drips blood on Conner's dinning table?
Jennifer A. Nielsen
#53. Life is like a dry handjob. Just when it starts getting good, it's already over.
Jayme K.
#54. Surely there was not another soul in England that could delude themselves like I could.
Sharon Cameron
#55. I really don't know what to think, Mr Holmes,' Lestrade muttered. 'Well, that's nothing new.
Anthony Horowitz
#56. The sun was about to set, he told us in a gravelly voice. He swept his hands in a downward motion, apparently to demonstrate how a sunset worked
Richelle Mead
#57. Dad lost his job. Then he got a new job. Then he got his old job back and went back to it. They were all in the same building.
Aimee Bender
#58. I am a candid interview and I have a dark and dry sense of humor - a very Canadian sense of humor and I am only learning now stupidly that you can't read tongue. When I say something funny in a newspaper and I meant it to be funny, it doesn't read that way.
Michael Buble
#59. What are American dry-goods? asked the duchess, raising her large hands in wonder and accentuating the verb.
American novels, answered Lord Henry.
Oscar Wilde
#60. Borges was unapologetically smart and equally sentimental; a proto-geek, blind to distinctions between low pulp fiction and high criticism, experimental but never arch, and always playful, with a humor as dry as dust.
John Hodgman
#61. How can we be alive and not wonder about the stories we knit together this place we call the world? Without stories our universe is merely rocks and clouds and lava and blackness. It's a village scraped raw by warm waters leaving not a trace of what existed before.
Douglas Coupland
#62. If you melt dry ice in a pool and go swimming, will you get wet?
Steven Wright
#63. In other words, he looked like uniformed police hotness, and she wasn't entirely uninterested in being cuffed. Wait. That's a bad thought. I don't mean it. She took him in again, her throat suddenly dry. Well, she didn't exactly not mean it, but she knew better than to want it.
Cindi Madsen
#64. Some people are so dry that you might soak them in a joke for a month and it would not get through their skins.
Henry Ward Beecher
#65. Tugs was surprised to find that the cake was actually pretty dry and not as good as the cakes her own mother made. It was a revelation. Tugs had assumed that tastier food came out of fancier houses.
Anne Ylvisaker
#66. It was pretty miserable wretches that minded at all whether they were wet or dry. He could not understand why such people had been born. "It's nothing but damned eccentricity to want to be dry" he would say. "I've been wet more than half my life and never been a whit the worse for it.
Halldor Laxness
#67. I felt like that character in Flowers for Algernon. Not Charlie, the lady teacher from the college who realizes, 'I've got to stop dry-humping this mentally challenged guy!
Tina Fey
#68. My humor is very dry. To me it doesn't make sense.
Ian MacKaye
#69. What was it Like?"
"What was what like?" he said, although he knew.
"Quick, I imagine. But you must have perceived something. A split second of vanishing awareness. A grasping at a shrinking light."
"It was like being fucked in the brain.
Max Barry
#70. My dad has a dry, deadpan sense of humor, and my mom has an unexpected, wacky take on things. They really encouraged laughing at ourselves and the weirdness of situations that come up growing up in politics.
Kristin Gore
#71. What you see on stage is pretty much the way I am ... a dry sense of humor.
Bob Newhart
#72. They're going to leave me. All I wanted to do was lie in the dry prickly grass with my feet in a ditch forever. I could be a convenient sort of milemarker, I thought. Get to the thief and you know you are halfway to Methana. Where ever Methana might be.
Megan Whalen Turner
#73. Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it. If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying 'End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH', the paint wouldn't even have time to dry.
Terry Pratchett
#74. By my soul! I would rather have a dry death," quoth Sir Oliver. "Though, Mort Dieu! I have eaten so many fish that it were but justice that the fish should eat me.
Arthur Conan Doyle
#75. Also, my humor is really dry-witted, Canadian humor, so some people get it and some people don't. I'd be great on "The Office." I would like to be on that show. And, I could see me doing romantic comedy films, and stuff like that.
Tinsel Korey
#76. Every Brit I met had the best sense of humor. They're hilarious: very dry and witty.
Merritt Patterson
#77. Duncan,we're still in prison," Frederic said dryly. "You're not going to see anything except this cell. Which has spiders, by the way. Have you noticed the spiders?" "Indeed I have: Carmen, Zippy, and Dr. T," Duncan said.
Christopher Healy
#78. Stick to journalism, Mr Cort, where you never have to understand anything.
Iain Pears
#79. Nemo suggested that it might be some monster giant but his papa called him a "rattlebrain" and ordered him to pacify his mama who was making elaborate plans to faint.
Winsor McCay
#80. I'd like to THANK whoever saw a
bunch of cherries and thought ...
HEY!! If I dry out a bunch of those berry seeds, call them "BEANS", smash them and add hot water, it will be AWESOME!
Tanya Masse
#81. I don't have a lot of domestic instincts," Ranger said to me, his attention fixing on the unidentifiable glob in my hair, "but I have a real strong urge to take you home and hose you down."
I went dry mouth. Connie bit into her lower lip, and Lula fanned herself with a file.
Janet Evanovich
#82. I have lived as plain Mr. Jinnah and I hope to die as plain Mr. Jinnah. I am very much averse to any title or honours and I will be more than happy if there was no prefix to my name.
Muhammad Ali Jinnah
#84. He always has a joke to tell or is doing something so seriously ridiculous that you can't help but laugh at him. Last night, he tried to dry his socks in the microwave.
Yeah.
Then Boo yelled at him. She told him the oven works better.
Belle Aurora
#85. {Rogers} sexual aim is "to convert a creature who is cool, dry, calm, articulate, independent, purposeful into a creature who is the opposite of these: to demonstrate to an animal which is pretending not to be an animal that it is an animal.
Kingsley Amis
#86. Even though she only used the dagger Jerin gave her for chopping meat and vegetables, Ethan still insisted she keep it on her at all times. That way, she mused, if anyone did attack her, she could make them a salad or something.
Jackie Castle
#87. In the past, it was known as a "massive stroke," and you simply died. But improved resuscitation techniques have now prolonged and refined the agony.
Jean-Dominique Bauby
#88. Have a day when you wish you could vomit words, but can only dry heave.
Brick Marlin
#89. I like a very dry wit, not the big kind of humor like Robin Williams. I don't think I'm capable of that.
Chris Cooper
#90. When the Attorney-General ceased, a buzz arose in the court as if a cloud of great blue-flies were swarming about the prisoner, in anticipation of what he was soon to become.
Charles Dickens
#91. Make us human, they demanded
Agatha blanched. Since when could she understand animals?
Save us, princess, they cried.
Since when could she understand delusional animals?
Soman Chainani
#92. The person sending ironic text messages has no idea that their voice does not sound so great in text. There's no dry sense of humor in a text. It comes off as a little bit shitty.
Natasha Lyonne
#93. Ed said, "I can tell you, when we heard that baby was going to be all right, there wasn't a dry seat in the castle."
"I'm so happy to hear that," Marigold sold. "I think.
Jean Ferris
#94. The lampshade on my head is for my bright ideas. I won't be able to convey them until Monday, when my curtain gets out of the dry cleaners.
Bauvard
#95. I have a really dry sense of humor. I don't think it's funny when people wink at the camera. That's more of an actor thing, just committing to whatever the thing is.
Topher Grace
#96. Democracy is a poor system; the only thing that can be said for it is that it's eight times as good as any other method.
Robert A. Heinlein
Famous Authors
Popular Topics
Scroll to Top
