Top 100 Microwave Quotes
#1. I thought it odd that the woman was over a thousand years old but thought the microwave was primitive.
Kim Harrison
#2. Most schools have only a microwave or deep fryer, hardly the tools needed to feed our children real, fresh food.
Mark Hyman
#3. When I hear homestyle, I always think of some guy in his underwear standing next to a microwave. You want me to nuke a hot dog for ya? I got some old Chinese in the fridge, but I think it's my roommate's.
Jim Gaffigan
#4. Before he sat down, my internal heat-seekers sensed what was coming my way: deep blue eyes that melted girls like Velveeta in a microwave. I tried to resist those microwave eyes, but sometimes there's no defense against them. I had a feeling I'd be seeing him weeping over my coffin later that night.
Natalie Standiford
#5. Regret [10w]
Regret's like a microwave
cooking you from the inside out.
Beryl Dov
#6. Three days ago we not only ruled the earth, we had survivor's guilt about all the other species we'd wiped out on our climb to the nirvana of round-the-clock cable news and microwave popcorn. Now we're the Flashlight People.
Stephen King
#7. We have largely traded wisdom for information, depth for breadth. We want to microwave maturity.
John Ortberg Jr.
#8. I have the life of Riley. I take my kids to school, do a bit of work in the afternoon, pick my kids up, microwave a meal, hang out with my kids, and work for a couple of hours.
Sheena Easton
#9. The wall clock and her wristwatch had stopped, their sweep hands no longer wiping away the seconds, and the digital clock on the microwave had gone dark, as if something that lived outside of time had stepped into this world and brought its clockless ambiance with it.
Dean Koontz
#10. The radiation left over from the Big Bang is the same as that in your microwave oven but very much less powerful. It would heat your pizza only to minus 271.3*C - not much good for defrosting the pizza, let alone cooking it.
Stephen Hawking
#11. Liberals want to burn the flag, but progressives just want to microwave it?
Stephen Colbert
#12. I try to eat super clean: No processed sugars, no corn syrups, nothing frozen in a box that you can microwave. If I read the ingredient label and I don't know what something is, I assume it's bad.
Kacy Catanzaro
#13. Hey!" Dawson yelled from the front door. "I think Dee caught the microwave on fire. Again. And I tried popping some popcorn with my hands and it kind of went wrong. Like really, really wrong."
Daemon pressed his forehead against mine and growled. "Dammit.
Jennifer L. Armentrout
#14. My fur is matted, my eyes refuse to refocus, my sthondat-begotten room is too small, my microwave heater heats all meat to the same temperature, and it is the wrong temperature, and I cannot get it fixed.
Larry Niven
#15. Is there any more futile, soul-irradiating experience than standing before the little window on a microwave oven watching the carousel slowly revolve your frozen block of dinner?
Michael Pollan
#16. I can melt steel, fucker, I'll microwave your guts and punch them our your asshole.
Garth Ennis
#17. you don't need to understand any of the biology, just as you don't need to understand radiation to use a microwave oven.
Timothy Ferriss
#18. My favorite affirmation when I feel stuck or out of sorts is: Whatever I need is already here, and it is all for my highest good. Jot this down and post it conspicuously throughout your home, on the dashboard of your car, at your office, on your microwave oven, and even in front of your toilets!
Wayne Dyer
#19. You shouldn't be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.
Adam Carolla
#20. Where the hell are you, Cimil?"
"Popping tags with Roberto," she replied.
"Popping what?" he asked.
Cimil growled. "You shame Macklemore - I'm at a thrift store. Where else would a goddess find a microwave for her potpie and a new pair of pink hot pants? And a Lee Majors doll! Score!
Mimi Jean Pamfiloff
#21. Cookbooks bear the same relation to real books that microwave food bears to your grandmother?s.
Andrei Codrescu
#22. She said she doesn't like your cooking. She said she'd rather eat a microwave dinner from the convenience store instead of something you cooked. Do you get it? Hm? Why are you being such a crybaby? Save the salt from your tears for seasoning.
Kanoko Sakurakouji
#23. I live in a dumb house. Which is not to say that I don't love its quirky charm, its drafty windows and leaky fireplaces and an electrical system that protests when too many people are trying to vacuum and microwave at the same time. But charm is not always user-friendly.
Nancy Gibbs
#24. You can leave a kid alone and it will learn to fend for itself, how to work the remote, a tin opener, and the microwave. I see the holidays as a chance for kids to learn self-sufficiency.
Al Murray
#25. I sit in an infrared sauna everyday and microwave myself. It's really detoxifying.
Scottie Thompson
#26. I should have known he and I weren't going to make it when for my seventeenth birthday he gave me a box of microwave popcorn and a used battery tester. You know, to test batteries before I put them in my Walkman. Like you give someone when you're in love.
Tina Fey
#27. I hate to admit this but I don't even know how to make a cup of tea or coffee. I can boil a kettle for a pot noodle and I've been known to warm up some food in the microwave.
Michael Owen
#28. Owning a computer without programming is like having a kitchen and using only the microwave oven
Charles Petzold
#29. I was recently inside a hospital that had gone wireless and it was a forest of microwave antennas! It is sad that the medical profession is in the process of becoming expert on microwave radiation sickness due to willfully inducing it into their own staff!
Steven Magee
#30. Building a prayer culture takes time. . . and relentless pressure over time. I often say that it is much more a crock pot than a microwave.
Daniel Henderson
#31. I've never thrown out a TV set out of some hotel's window, but I have thrown a microwave out of one 'coz it was cooler.
Kerry King
#32. When you cook it should be an act of love. To put a frozen bag in the microwave for your child is an act of hate.
Raymond Blanc
#33. We live in a microwave life where people want success without passing through the process of hard work. This is because our daily discussions focus on successes and not our struggles, which end up sending wrong message to other people, believing that success can be achieved without hard work.
Uzoma Nnadi
#34. Claire put scientifically enhanced popcorn in the microwave oven. "I never feel like I'm putting food in one of these things," she then says, entering with beeps, the time-set into the LED. "It feels more like I'm inserting fuel rods into a core.
Douglas Coupland
#35. Diamonds aren't forever. Diamond engagement rings have only been a "necessary luxury" for about eighty years. We take the tradition of a diamond engagement ring for granted, as if it were as old as marriage itself. It's not. In fact, it's only about as old as the microwave oven.
Aja Raden
#36. Did you know that those Microwave units with the cute little flip-button on the lid? Well if you leave the thing closed when you heat them up, it gives a great bang. The kids love it!
Chris Ward
#37. The powerful chords that emanated from the radio heated me from the inside out, like a microwave.
Sandy Ward Bell
#38. Knowledge, wisdom, and understanding don't come out of the microwave. You got to keep moving forward because the evil doesn't sleep.
Chuck D
#39. I remember when I couldn't afford to eat like this. It was ramen noodles and the San Francisco Treat [Rice-A-Roni]. Dessert? Get you a honey bun and put a slice of cheese on it. Put it in the microwave for 45 seconds and you had the gift of a lifetime.
Rick Ross
#40. The perfect gadget would somehow allow me to fly. Isn't that what everybody wants? It would also cook a damn good microwave pizza. So while in flight you had something to eat - an in-flight meal. Where would I go? Well, nowadays, it would probably just take me to work a lot quicker.
John Krasinski
#41. The microwave background indicated that the universe had had a hot, dense stage in the past.
Stephen Hawking
#42. You can't work three hours a week and make $100,000. Get rich quick doesn't work. Crock pot mentality always defeats microwave mentality!
Dave Ramsey
#43. I don't have a microwave oven, but I do have a clock that occasionally cooks stuff.
Mitch Hedberg
#44. They shot the ball well early. What comes out of the microwave hot doesn't always stay hot. I know, because I eat bagels in the morning.
Shaquille O'Neal
#45. It's not the microwave that's the problem, it's what people put into them. I know people lead busy lives but they should try to sit their children down at the table once a week and cook them simple food.
Raymond Blanc
#46. Several years ago my dear wife went to the hospital. She left a note behind for the children: "Dear children, do not let Daddy touch the microwave" followed by a comma, "or the stove, or the dishwasher, or the dryer." I'm embarrassed to add any more to that list.
Thomas S. Monson
#47. I gotta feel like what I'm giving the fans is 100 per cent and that it's game-changing. I don't just throw out microwave records.
Missy Elliot
#48. I like baked potatoes. I don't have a microwave oven, and it takes forever to bake a potato in a conventional oven. Sometimes I'll just throw one in there, even if I don't want one, because by the time it's done, who knows?
Mitch Hedberg
#49. Every other girl in school thinks you're the hottest thing since
the microwave.
Linda Kage
#50. For my grandmother's generation, the big invention was cake mix; for our moms, it was the microwave, and for me, it's the iPhone. And that's enabled us to do so many different things more efficiently at home.
Brit Morin
#51. To me when a mother puts food in a microwave for her children, it is an act of hate
Raymond Blanc
#52. He always has a joke to tell or is doing something so seriously ridiculous that you can't help but laugh at him. Last night, he tried to dry his socks in the microwave.
Yeah.
Then Boo yelled at him. She told him the oven works better.
Belle Aurora
#53. Let grace microwave your cold heart. "Grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ" (2 Peter 3:18). When you do, you'll find yourself joining the ranks of the truly wealthy. You'll be rich with grace.
Max Lucado
#54. Everything (N.W.A.) attempted had to possess criminal undertones. I can only assume they spent hours trying to deduce villainous ways to microwave popcorn (and if they'd succeeded, there would absolutely be a song about it, assumedly titled "Pop Goes the Corn Killa", or "45 Seconds to Bitch Snack").
Chuck Klosterman
#55. Friends think your life is so glamorous, and it is. But there are times when, instead of going to a glamorous party, I would rather just come home from work, pop in a DVD and eat some microwave popcorn with a cutie on the sofa.
Carson Kressley
#56. Ferbus stared in wonder. "He's like a bag of microwave popcorn."
Driggs finally spoke, his voice equally amazed. "But popcorn tends to stop popping after a couple of minutes. He's ... still going.
Gina Damico
#57. I'd take a helicopter up and throw microwave ovens down on the Taco Bell.
Douglas Coupland
#58. NIKKI: Really?! What are the ingredients? BRANDON: Just popcorn and caramel candy. Cooks in microwave. NIKKI: That's all?! Very cool! Be right back . . . NIKKI: We have popcorn ! But no caramel candy ! BRANDON:
Rachel Renee Russell
#59. I hate Arizona. It always eight hundred degrees outside and everybody's always saying, "But it's a dry heat!" So's the inside of my microwave.
Joan Rivers
#60. I don't cook - I can cook - but I'm not very good. I like being asked over for dinner, because she can't cook either. We would starve if it weren't for modern technology. I know how to work a microwave, but love home cooked meals.
Mark Mothersbaugh
#61. On the observational side, by far the most important development has been the measurement of fluctuations in the cosmic microwave background radiation by COBE (the Cosmic Background Explorer satellite)
Stephen Hawking
#62. A scientist sounds like a scientist because the things that come out of their mouth don't stumble, that's all. If they [said], "And the, um, a microwave, uh," you know, then you don't sound right, but if you can just get it out without stumbling then you're going to sound fine.
Morgan Freeman
#63. The New Age? It's just the old age stuck in a microwave oven for fifteen seconds.
James Randi
#64. In university, in a vain attempt to stave off the frosh fifteen, I used to melt fat-free cheese over broccoli, onions and cauliflower in the cafeteria microwave. That earned me few friends.
Rachel Sklar
#65. So look carefully at the map of the microwave sky. It is the blueprint for all the structure in the universe. We are the product of quantum fluctuations in the very early universe. If one were religious, one could say that God really does play dice.
Stephen Hawking
#66. I'm more like an oven than a microwave,
Erykah Badu
#67. My kitchen in New York City is in the Richard Meier building on Perry Street, so it's ultra-modern: white, glass and transparent. It's 180 square feet, with an induction stove. Everything's hidden, so you don't see the microwave or the fridge.
Jean-Georges Vongerichten
#68. she waves her fists in front of him as if trying to swat two flies the size of microwave ovens.
Fredrik Backman
#69. I am really high maintenance and won't walk through the microwave that fries your body. I always request a pat down [in airport].
Michelle Visage
#70. It always bothers me to see people writing RIP when a person dies. It just feels so insincere and like a cop out. To me, RIP is the microwave dinner of posthumous honours.
Lou Reed
#71. Orgasm for women like coal( that takes lot of time to get heat) , and men like microwave..just push the button
Anshu
#72. I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
Steven Wright
#73. I guess now music is so saturated and so microwaved. It's, like, 15 minutes in the microwave and boom, you've got something. Nobody's putting passion or any thought behind it anymore.
Young Jeezy
#74. I have a cousin Ernie who buys stuff. He's got a big snowblower that's actually the biggest snowblower you can buy, with a remote control, so he doesn't even have to go outside. He's got the microwave and a satellite dish, it's all in one. He cooks and watches at the same time.
Louie Anderson
#75. It is ludicrous to read the microwave direction on the boxes of food you buy, as each one will have a disclaimer: THIS WILL VARY WITH YOUR MICROWAVE. Loosely translated, this means, You're on your own, Bernice.
Erma Bombeck
#76. Easy as pie. Actually, come to think of it, not easy as pie. Easy as something else. Like ramen noodles. Or microwave popcorn. Because, what exactly about pie is easy?
Julie Johnson
#77. Be oblivious to city high-rises, work-related stress and microwave popcorn.
Fennel Hudson
#78. Each season, my balance gets worse, and sometimes I fall. I no longer cook for myself but microwave widower food, mostly Stouffer's. My fingers are clumsy and slow with buttons.
Donald Hall
#79. for the love of God, do not microwave your food in plastic Tupperware! In fact, don't use a microwave. Period.
Natalie Loeffler
#80. You've been working hard, a sandwich isn't enough. I'll make you dinner. From the
freezer she took out a TV meal and threw it in the microwave.
Zathyn Priest
#81. I like eating pepperoni. I heat it up in the microwave and then I let it roast and then I eat it with cheese.
Willow Smith
#82. My Saturday Night. My Saturday night is like a microwave burrito. Very tough to ruin something that starts out so bad to begin with.
Michael Chabon
#83. He looks about as happy as a penguin in a microwave.
Sid Waddell
#84. We cried openly over the ones we lost. We wept secretly for our smartphones, our cars, our microwave ovens, and the Internet.
Rick Yancey
#85. The microwave clock spills over into midnight, and the marionette girl walks up the stairs to sleep in her puppet bed in the puppet house, filled with not-puppet people. They are made of flesh and blood, and she is made of wood and lies.
Michelle Painchaud
#86. My Saturday night is like a microwave burrito. Very tough to ruin something that starts out so bad to begin with. As
Michael Chabon
#87. The microwave is as antisocial as the cook fire is communal.
Michael Pollan
#88. The microwave oven is one of the modern objects that convey the most elemental feeling of power over the passing seconds ... If you suffer from hurry sickness in its most advanced stages, you may find yourself punching 88 seconds instead of 90 because it is faster to tap the same digit twice.
James Gleick
#89. What we require of others so that we may live our lives of easy convenience. Dad, there are people who work all day every day for thirty years assembling the three wires that make a microwave timer beep. What are we supposed to think of this? How do they survive it? Why do we ask them to?
Sunil Yapa
#90. I'm truly grateful for my microwave, which allows me to easily clarify butter, steam vegetables, and - when I am really lazy - feed my three kids in less than five minutes.
Sara Gruen
#91. They say you're not supposed to put metal in a microwave oven. They're right.
Steven Wright
#92. Fifth is Q, the amplitude of the irregularities in the cosmic microwave background, which equals 10
Michio Kaku
#93. Oh, God, I'm so lonely. An entire weekend streching ahead with no one to love or have fun with. Anyway, I don't care. I've got a lovely steamed ginger pudding from M&S to put in the microwave.
Helen Fielding
#94. Vidocq and Allegra are holding hands on the small bed. I don't need to listen to their hearts or breathing. They're radiating tension like a microwave oven. Kasabian has gone back to his computer, trying to ignore all of this. Traven looks a little lost. Candy's not much better. I
Richard Kadrey
#95. We should explore new ways to drive down the cost of space travel. instead of costly booster rockets, maybe we should think of laser/microwave driven rockets, or space elevators. Until then, the cost of space exploration will limit our ability to explore the universe.
Michio Kaku
#96. The popcorn button on the microwave is a miraculous invention. More miraculous than even the microwave itself.
Gary Gulman
#97. If you try to pop the unpopped kernels in the microwave, you go back in time.
Gary Gulman
#98. War created the conditions for great advances in technology...without war men would not traverse oceans in hours, travel in space, or microwave popcorn.
Adrian R. Lewis
#99. I'm spoilt. I like my own space. I don't even own a microwave, and men don't like that. They want to be looked after.
Marie Helvin
#100. What would demons," she said, "want with our microwave?
Cassandra Clare
