Late Night Quotes

#1. Yeah. Think I'll have to pass on the sex, though."
"We don't have to have sex just because you're staying the night."
"Oh! I thought it was the standard fee for the pillow, but now when I know better..."
"I might take that back..."
"Too late!" she laughed.

Lina Andersson

#2. I'll usually stay up a little later than my wife and play Xbox, a little 'Modern Warfare 3.' Or I'll have a friend over, and we'll play board games until late at night. I'll always choose fun over sleep.

Rich Sommer

#3. Late-night prejudice was apparently exhausting.

Chloe Neill

#4. Probably the most fun I've ever had, actually, acting. Because it was the perfect extension of the stuff that I'd started to do on Late Night With David Letterman, and when I look back on all my work, it was probably the best possible incarnation of Chris Elliott, of me.

Chris Elliott

#5. It's the worst feeling when you come home alone late at night and think the stranger sitting on your couch is a pile of clothes.

Dane Cook

#6. In my line of work every man wears exactly one outfit khakis, a late night with Jimmy Fallon t-shirt, and a hooded sweatshirt. If you don't people think you're a scientologist and no one will eat lunch with you.

Mindy Kaling

#7. There is no late-night comedy. You watch comedy, you watch whenever you want to tune on. You can it in the middle of the night. You can it in the morning. It's all comedy. They just label it late-night comedy so they don't have to pay as much.

George Schlatter

#8. You listen to any monologue on late-night TV or just in general, to people talking, and there's always a joke at someone's expense. It's sarcasm; it's nasty. Kids grow up hearing that, and they think that's what humor is, and they think it's OK. But that negativity permeates the entire planet.

Ellen DeGeneres

#9. Ere we had reach'd the wish'd-for place, night fell: We were too late at least by one dark hour,

William Wordsworth

#10. I thought I had to show people that I would get in early, stay late or even all night, work on holidays. I didn't want to be the rich kid who was along for a free ride.

Maria Shriver

#11. I am much more productive late at night because I have no one to look to for entertainment aside from myself.

Rachel Nichols

#12. If I sit down with an electric guitar, what's going to come out are Sabbath/Zeppelin type riffs, but if I'm sitting behind a piano late at night, I might write something like 'Desperado.' You're not going to write 'Desperado' between a wall of Marshalls and thumping, crushing volume.

Zakk Wylde

#13. If there is electricity in every village, people will watch TV till late night and then fall asleep. They won't get a chance to produce children. When there is no electricity, there is nothing else to do but produce babies.

Ghulam Nabi Azad

#14. Late-night television is like the cereal aisle in the supermarket: too many choices. Also, too many 'different' brands that really aren't different at all.

Tom Shales

#15. In the world of late-night comics, Letterman made us feel any hometown boy from Indianapolis could poke fun at celebrities and politicians and do it right to their faces.

Chris Matthews

#16. It's way too long and I gave up on it. Abandoning forever an innocent child to a hostile and unforgiving land. Sometimes I still hear him crying late at night. He sounds exactly like a malfunctioning air conditioner.

Yahtzee Croshaw

#17. I love to watch those old movies on late-night television, particularly when a couple get up from a champagne dinner in a posh restaurant and the hero hands the waiter $3. But the best part is when he says, "Keep the change."

Robert Orben

#18. The thing that makes me happy is that I know that on Mars, two hundred years from now, my books are going to be read. They'll be up on dead Mars with no atmosphere. And late at night, with a flashlight, some little boy is going to peek under the covers and read The Martian Chronicles on Mars.

Ray Bradbury

#19. Your heavenly eyes are shining like a late night star
To be in heaven, I like to get lost in those eyes forever.

Debasish Mridha

#20. I am a late starter. I like to go on into the night when it's quiet and everything has shut down. I find that's where music and minds open in the dark.

Shelby Lynne

#21. The thing about late-night cookery was that it made sense at the time. It always had some logic behind it. It just wasn't the kind of logic you'd use around midday.

Terry Pratchett

#22. I learned a lot from playing those late-night, 1-to-4 A.M. gigs with my band, and playing when no one was listening.

Rachel Platten

#23. Crawford was home for a month from the hospital, the chest pains came again in the night. Instead of calling an ambulance and going through it all again, he chose simply to roll over to the solace of his late wife's side of the bed.

Thomas Harris

#24. Love isn't jealous. It's kind and patient. It's accepting--it's late night talks and early morning kisses. It's arguing and making up. It's life with the one you can't live without.

Marquita Valentine

#25. My favorite thing about 'Saturday Night's Main Event,' it was that one time where I could stay up late with my dad and four brothers, and we would all beat the tar out of each other while the show was on, and it was all okay because my dad was a wrestling fan.

John Cena

#26. It's stupid, I know, but I care. All the things that meant so much when we were young. Under the blankets late at night, listening to long-distance radio. All those things lost now or broken. Can you remember? Can you remember that feeling? Perhaps I ought to go to a doctor.

Grant Morrison

#27. Late at night especially, one's standards could slip unimaginably.

Drew Nellins Smith

#28. I felt I had to share Idaho with my friend from New York because he'd shared New York with me, so I was going to share the beauty of nature with a man who went to museums and clubs late at night. But there was nothing to do where I lived at night.

Mariel Hemingway

#29. As I lay in the late hours of night or perhaps the wee hours of morning, I felt content. I'd been right to keep faith and trust when I had no reason to. I didn't expect any grand gestures or magical solutions to things, but my hope was fueled.

J.M. Northup

#30. I feel my shows are like a late-night talk show that we settle down and do every night.

John Mayer

#31. Man's own form in space - his body - was a private prison; and that it was because of this imprisoning misery - because he was hungry and overworked and went to a horrid place called home late at night in the rain, and his bones ached and his head was heavy.

Willem De Kooning

#32. I have a credit card and a phone. I answer emails; I answer questions on chat in the middle of the day. Then, late at night, I write against other people who do just that.

Joshua Cohen

#33. It's not enough to be talented. It's not enough to work hard and to study late into the night. You must also become intimately aware of the methods you use to reach your decisions.

Garry Kasparov

#34. I started on 'Saturday Night Live' the same time Conan started on Late Night. We just had a relationship because I would be upstairs in the studio and whenever he couldn't get a guest - which was often back then since he was just starting out - he would just call me down to be a guest.

Norm MacDonald

#35. He (Jesus) cannot be distracted from his late-night prayer in Gethsemane.

Alex Early

#36. If feeling anxious about anything Dr Bachs night time rescue remedy is great. Sometimes a bath before bed helps. Burning Lavender or Clary Sage in the room before retiring. Try not to work on my computer very late and then bed straight after. Getting enough exercise definitely helps sleep.

Rachel Ryan

#37. Grumbling incoherently, I fished in my jacket pocket for sunglasses. "Fear not, night dweller," Niko said with mocking gravity. "It is merely the sun, something you would see more often if you would roll out of bed before late afternoon.

Rob Thurman

#38. New York's terrible when somebody laughs on the street very late at night. You can hear it for miles. It makes you feel so lonesome and depressed.

J.D. Salinger

#39. Anxiety is secretive. He does not trust anyone, not even his friends, Worry, Terror, Doubt and Panic ... He likes to visit me late at night when I am alone and exhausted. I have never slept with him, but he kissed me on the forehead once, and I had a headache for two years ...

J. Ruth Gendler

#40. I learned how fast you can go from being an international hero to being a reference in a joke on a late night talk show.

Michael Phelps

#41. I unplug the phone and close the door and just stick with it. I don't ever go out for lunch and I don't take vacations. I like to be awake when no one else is: either just before dawn in the morning or late, late at night. Silence helps.

Mona Simpson

#42. Had ideas, crazy, late-night fantasies strung together like a paper-clip chain.

Amy Garvey

#43. Stories are for joining the past to the future. Stories are for those late hours in the night when you can't remember how you got from where you were to where you are. Stories are for eternity, when memory is erased, when there is nothing to remember except the story.

Tim O'Brien

#44. 'American Horror' goes for a very specific kind of Seventies suburban downer ambience - 'Flowers in the Attic' paperbacks, Black Sabbath album covers and late-night flicks like 'Let's Scare Jessica to Death.' It even has 'Go Ask Alice'-era urban legends.

Rob Sheffield

#45. An elaborate system of etiquette and social standards flowered around the home phone: how long a child might be allowed to stay on the phone, how late one could call without being impolite, and of course, the dread implications of a late night call which violated that norm.

John Battelle

#46. That night as I lay in bed, I thought of several things I could have said and mourned the fact that my wit usually bloomed late, peaking when it no longer mattered, during the solitary hours close to midnight.

Siri Hustvedt

#47. I usually go out riding late at night when there's no traffic because L.A. has become almost like the Philippines now as far as traffic.

Richard Grieco

#48. Near the top of any girl's list of dumb things to do would be, 'Take a walk by yourself late at night.

Marsha Qualey

#49. Alice!" said the visitor's mild voice, "am I late to-night?"
"You always seem late, but are always early.

Charles Dickens

#50. A plan will wait until we've camped for the night," I say.
From habit, I turn to look for Hector, seeking his quiet approval. I don't catch myself until it's too late, until I've lost him all over again.

Rae Carson

#51. I used to have a big dog, a rottweiler, to guard the place. One night I was working late, and he was outside barking in the snow. He wouldn't stop. Then he stopped. I went out ten minutes later with a lamp, and there was a ring of wolves eating my dog.

Martin Cruz Smith

#52. Every president becomes a caricature. The press, partisans, late-night shows, and other arbiters of our culture these days boil down complicated and multi-faceted personalities into one-dimensional punchlines.

Mark McKinnon

#53. I came back late last night at the Athlete's Village so I'm a little bit surprised about my time this morning. It's really good and I'm going to race tonight and tomorrow night so I'm excited to see what I can do.

Katerine Savard

#54. It was Isabel's main accessory as she dashed in late to work, always with two or three CDs, usually new, tucked under her arm. At night, when I crawled out on my rooftop, it was what I heard first,

Sarah Dessen

#55. My favorite time is late at night. I seem to wake up and want to work after 10pm, in my bubble of night.

Ed Askew

#56. I see ghosts everywhere, and that is partially a function of my being incredibly near-sighted and reading way too late into the night.

Lauren Groff

#57. Survival might be insufficient, she'd told Dieter in late-night arguments, but on the other hand, so was Shakespeare.

Emily St. John Mandel

#58. I only want to talk to you. The robbers are all in bed by now. Drunks, drifters, and poets are the only ones up this late at night.

Kurt Vonnegut

#59. My brother's always hungry late at night, if he comes home that is. He always eats cheesy chips while he's half asleep on the couch. I look around, but he's not here, and I don't find any crumbs tucked into the couch bedding. The usual stain from his boots is missing from the carpet, and I

Clarissa Wild

#60. There's always been some concern that adult subject matter should be quarantined from a page that attracts children. Unlike late at night, when 'South Park' and 'Colbert' are on, impressionable minds are wide awake when the newspaper arrives.

Garry Trudeau

#61. How did it get so late so soon? It's night before it's afternoon. December is here before it's June. My goodness how the time has flewn. How did it get so late so soon? Dr. Seuss

Jed McKenna

#62. The guy says, "When you work where I work, by the time you get home, it's late. You've got to have a bite to eat, watch a little TV, relax and get to bed. You can't sit up half the night planning, planning, planning." And he's the same guy who is behind on his car payment!

Jim Rohn

#63. My theory is that I decided to be a writer when I was about seven, but of course it is not as simple as that. Like most writers, I had to work at other things to earn a living and wrote mainly in the evenings, often very late at night, for many years.

Margaret Mahy

#64. Every year before a big competition, I get hurt doing stuff I should not be doing. One year it was my little brother's 12th birthday. We all played hide-and-seek late at night. I climbed up a 30-foot tree, thinking he'd never catch me. I tripped and fell on one of the branches and I hit my head.

Ryan Lochte

#65. Char had a phone number. He had a home. He probably had a job or a college and a last name and parents and all of that, too. He didn't just spring into existence late on Thursday night and then blink out again at two a.m. He was a real person.

Leila Sales

#66. In a late-night monologue, it's not just about being funny; you have to come off as knowledgeable. You have to cultivate a persona of trust and intelligence and likeability.

Anthony Jeselnik

#67. I used to live in Seattle, as did Jimi Hendrix and Bruce Lee. I lived near the arboretum. Very often I would take walks late at night by Lake Washington, because I found it very easy to meditate there.

Frederick Lenz

#68. Walking round the Champs-Elysees late at night is the greatest time.

Estelle

#69. The news of life is carried via telephone. A baby's birth, a couple engaged, a tragic car accident on a late night highway - most milestones of the human journey, good or bad, are foreshadowed by the sound of a ringing.

Mitch Albom

#70. With that right person, you can have a late-night conversation at any time of the day.

David Levithan

#71. But philosophy at half-past ten at night is somewhat late;

Alexandre Dumas

#72. Once upon a time, Isola Wilde was watching late-night television with her eldest brother, Alejandro, when Channel 12 broadcast a live suicide.

Allyse Near

#73. It's funny how when you're up so late at night for so long your mind can get into these creative places, the kind of creative places that come to you when you're halfway between asleep and awake.

Steve Wozniak

#74. He dreamed at one point in his slumbers of New York. In his dream he was walking late at night along the East Side, beside the river which had become so extravagantly polluted that new lifeforms were now emerging from it spontaneously, demanding welfare and voting rights.

Douglas Adams

#75. There is something mournful and uneasy about waking up late at night on a moving train. The wheels clicked a bony rhythm, the engine growled like a distant Leviathan, and from time to time the whistle sounded a cry so lonesome it seemed to speak for the whole wide moonless night.

Robert Charles Wilson

#76. On 'Late Night,' it's like we're all in on the joke. That's what I wanted it to be. I'm not doing something sneaky. Inside jokes, I don't like those. We can all ride together, and everyone's on the same thing going, 'Aha, I know where you're going here.'

Jimmy Fallon

#77. What I really see myself doing is late-night TV. No woman has ever done it.

Anna Benson

#78. I want more,' he says. 'I want more with you. I want to hold hands in public. I want to drive you home from work and give you a kiss good night. And talk on the phone so late we fall asleep.

Julie Murphy

#79. A lot of issues were on the ballots. In New York City there was Proposition 14. That would put a ceiling on the number of late-night talk shows. And California passed Proposition 21. That would change guacamole officially to guac.

David Letterman

#80. I would just like to say that after all these years of heavy drinking, bright lights and late nights, I still don't need glasses. I drink right out of the bottle.

David Lee Roth

#81. I like to go hear jazz late-night up in Harlem.

Daniel Boulud

#82. Late at night, I train after I put my kids to bed because putting my kids to bed is very important to me. I have three daughters; they are 8, 6, and soon to be 4. So I train after they go to bed.

Stephanie McMahon

#83. Hey, if you'd wanted to avoid 'this,' you shouldn't have lured me last night. Now it's too late. You might as well avoid the long, drawn-out pain and get it over with quickly. Sort of like taking off a Band-Aid. Or cutting off a limb."
"Wow, who says there's no romance left in the world?

Richelle Mead

#84. Generally my favorite remarks always come from my readers. I've had people say my books made them laugh, or cry, or that it frightened them late at night.

Patrick Rothfuss

#85. I suppose I will go on selling newspapers until at last will come the late night final.

Max Aitken

#86. Isn't it too late at night to begin something like this?"
"Not when one has a dire case of imagine-somnia.

Lisa Kleypas

#87. Oh God, I'm going to get in trouble for saying this, but I grew up falling asleep in church because I was tired from watching horror movies late at night.

KaDee Strickland

#88. Late-night shortwave: province of ramblers and dreamers, madmen and ranters.

Anthony Doerr

#89. In the late hours of the night, befriend the prayer mat.

Muhammad Tahir-ul-Qadri

#90. I tweet early in the morning when I wake up or late at night just to let you know that I have a show or what's on my mind, and that's it. I hate Snapchat and all of that. It's making kids so stupid.

Tyler, The Creator

#91. There should be - we should have a society that, whether you're catching the train to anywhere, Frankston or Cranbourne or Craigieburn late at night, you should be able to do it with safety, and, increasingly, you are.

Denis Napthine

#92. The average late-night viewer is in their mid-50s and the average viewer of TBS is in their 30s and is largely African-American and Hispanic, already, before I even get there.

George Lopez

#93. Sometimes it's a struggle to make everything work. I usually work on music from nine in the morning until three in the afternoon. Then there are the family activities. Then I work again at night - from nine to as late as two.

Hans-Peter Lindstrom

#94. I love cereal. I eat several bowls a day, mostly a few late at night.

Paul Dano

#95. With Late Night Show I can begin the search for the real Stephen Colbert.I just hope I don't find him on Ashley Madison.

Stephen Colbert

#96. Evil is near. Sometimes late at night the air grows strongly clammy and cold around me. I feel it brushing me. All that the Devil asks is acquiescence not struggle, not conflict. Acquiescence.

Suzanne Massie

#97. The brainless serenity of charwomen and janitors working late at night came over us. In a messy world we were at least making our little corner clean.

Kurt Vonnegut

#98. I always keep myself busy. I'm writing. Or I'm creating something. Or I'm doing stuff with the kids. I'm up incredibly early in the morning; I go to bed incredibly late at night.

Natascha McElhone

#99. Now, late at night, she lay in bed alone, wishing the feel of the sheets on her body were the feel of a mans hands instead.

Lauren Royal

#100. The other night I came home late, and tried to unlock my house with my car keys. I started the house up. So, I drove it around for a while. I was speeding, and a cop pulled me over. He asked where I lived. I said, "Right here, officer."

Steven Wright