Top 77 Humorous Inspirational Quotes
#2. If you constantly make it clear that you are unwilling to budge, don't get upset when no one is around who's willing to give you a push.
Mark W. Boyer
#3. Those half-learn'd witlings, num'rous in our isle
As half-form'd insects on the banks of Nile
Alexander Pope
#4. To ugly ducklings everywhere,
Don't worry about those fluffy yellow morons:
They'll never get to be swans
Zoe Marriott
#5. When it's all said and done remember, You are only as old as you look.
Mark W. Boyer
#7. It's easy to have high morals when you'd be safe naked in the middle of San Quentin Prison.
Ed Williams
#9. The only way to cull the uncommon man from the common is with his clothes off.
Paula Wall
#10. Evolution is a theory with more holes than a Dutch dam of swiss cheese.
Eoin Colfer
#11. Life is way too short, so try to enjoy every minute of it with a sense of humor!
Christina Scalise
#12. Writing is my passion, not my job. I need to write as much as I need to breathe, if not more.
A.E. Croft
#14. Write. Write write write write WRITE. Write. Now.
(This is an inspirational writing quote.)
Jen Lynn Anderson
#15. You can crab over the morning paper and kick the shins of the guy in the next seat at the movies and feel mean and discouraged and sneer at the politicians but there are a lot of nice people in the world just the same.
Raymond Chandler
#16. Much as he detested Filch, Harry couldn't help feeling a bit sorry for him, though not nearly as sorry as he felt for himself.
J.K. Rowling
#17. I may not be perfect, but God knows I'm trying ... and God knowing should count for something.
Karen E. Quinones Miller
#18. Enjoy every ounce of your life, get high and be sincere to anybody that comes around you.
Salman Aditya
#19. Sweetie, you don't need to drive me to the brink of insanity ... I'm close enough to walk!
Tanya Masse
#20. A man is known by the company he keeps not by the company he works.
Gaurav Agnihotri
#22. Life is not for understanding or to known rather it is for living & only for living
Nitin Yaduvanshi
#23. Forget your past,
Use your pain;
Accept that pain,
And Achieve the gain.
Nitesh Nishad
#24. If you have the choice between humble and cocky, go with cocky. There's always time to be humble later, once you've been proven horrendously, irrevocably wrong.
Kinky Friedman
#25. People who leave their drugs in a bathroom the guests use are just asking for trouble.
Stephen King
#27. When life gives you lemons, find a friend whose life has given them tequila and have a party.
Nefertiti Faraj
#28. I like stories about supervillains. They teach children that you can accomplish great things even when the whole world is against you.
G.D. Falksen
#29. Professional is an apt definition for me, professional slouch, that is. I can be very professional at seeming to do work, but the real work is trying to do as little as possible, without getting caught by Trip or any nosey busybodies.
J.C. Patrick
#30. Nathan said nothing for a moment. Then, "There's nothing in my fur, is there?"
Simon gave the other Wolf a careful look. "No boogers."
"Good. I hate washing boogers out of fur."
"Who doesn't? What comes out of human noses is disgusting ...
Anne Bishop
#31. Better days are coming! They're called Saturday and Sunday.
Karen Salmansohn
#33. How beautiful would history have been if it could be written beforehand and then acted out like drama!
Aihebholo-oria Okonoboh
#35. What you know
and don't deny that
you don't know
and knowing this
you know
what and why
you don't know.
Right?
Jennifer Hillman
#36. Why do I write? Because I like telling stories and I don't like repeating myself (insert chuckle here).
Najeev Raj Nadarajah
#37. If you're on your back, you're not on your feet!
Sylvia Day
#38. Wait. Are you about to do something really stupid? -GUARD
Pittacus Lore
#42. Wear flannel next to your skin, and never believe in eternal punishment.
Julian Barnes
#43. Life is like a fondue: the best fruit ain't the best till it's been through some goo.
Jack Bunbury
#46. The greatest trick you can teach an old dog is how to learn new tricks.
J.S. Davey
#47. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, unless it is the burning bush, in that case the value of your bird just went up!!
Neil Leckman
#48. There's only so far we can step backward in one day
Leisenring
#49. Don't stop writing until someone pries the pen from your cold, dead hands.
James John Tritten
#50. Vegans are always wrong, but damn pleased with themselves
Rasmussen
#51. There are stranger things out there than flying pigs.
Jane Tara
#53. Time may be defined as " dimension governed by activity." Dimension diminishes with inactivity so does the value of time.
Moutasem Algharati
#54. If life takes you long way, take a shortcut!
Baba
#56. Never make love to a woman who is bad with stained glass," the emperor said solemnly, giving no indication of humorous intent. "Such a woman is an ignorant shrew.
Salman Rushdie
#59. All art requires is courage and the commitment to eat lots of biscuits. D Ellis / 2016
David Ellis
#61. The person who thinks dogs can't talk doesn't want to learn a second language.
Mark Winik
#62. Buy this book , buy this book , you need this book, buy book now.'
Subliminal messaging works!
Nick Jimbanis
#64. Put down that bottle and pickup an Oreo instead ... youll live longer! #JustSaying
Timothy Pina
#65. Be careful what you wear to bed, because you never know where you might wake up.
Ridley Pearson
#66. The pen can be just as dangerous as a sword... At least while walking.
A.J. DeJong
#67. Who's going to take care of it? You? ... Son, you came in the house yesterday with sh*t on your hands. Humansh*t. I don't know how that happened, but if someone has shit on their hands, it's an indicator that maybe the whole responsibility thing isn't for them. -Dad
Justin Halpern
#68. East or West, Home is Best
North or South, Hand to Mouth
Doctor You
#70. I've become remarkably good at blocking impossibly bizarre happenings from my consciousness. Denial can be a beautiful thing.
M.A. George
#71. It was the living who ignored the strange and wonderful, because life was too full of the boring and mundane.
Terry Pratchett
#73. Leaders are ultimately there to oversee. You will find many who should do this or that. Let them do it; give them your support and authority. Don't forget to give them the credit later.
Christian Michael
#74. Seriously, what would you prefer? To stand out from everyone else, or disappear in the crowd? Because I call the latter 'sheep.
G.P. Burdon
#75. There are times when looking on the bright side takes a lot ot work. I'm taking a break from it tonight. I'll be back at it tomorrow.
C.C. Alma
#76. Marriage is the equivalent of trying to live with a bug perpetually up your nose.
D'Artagnan Bloodhawke
D'Artagnan Bloodhawke
#77. Don't tell me you have OCD about this?"
"OCD, ADHD - pretty sure if they come up with some new acronym tomorrow I'd have it.
Cyma Rizwaan Khan
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