Humorous Jokes Quotes

#1. I leave it to be settled, by whomsoever it may concern, whether the tendency of this work be altogether to recommend parental tyranny, or reward filial disobedience.

Jane Austen

#2. Life sometimes confuses us by making us discover in someone we hate a quality or qualities we love.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

#3. If I hadn't lost my hearing, I wouldn't be where I am now. It forced me to maximize my own potential. I have to be better than the average person to succeed.

Lou Ferrigno

#4. To condemn someone to death is to surrender; it proves that you failed. You are not able to change him, to change her; you have to kill him or her. You surrender ... You only demonstrate your lack of capacity, your helplessness. This is failure.

Nhat Hanh

#5. Had a cold hummus with pita bread,
Under a delicious food, yellow or red.
Might just have the appetite to cook
Urgent dinner by hook or crook.
So that's just a humus humor spread.

Ana Claudia Antunes

#6. When Elvis made his mass-media debut on 'The Ed Sullivan Show' - his notorious gyrations filmed only from the waist up - I fell off the family chaise longue with delight.

John Lahr

#7. There's a few tunes of mine that don't have jokes, but most of them have a joke and they have a humorous point of view somewhere.

Mose Allison

#8. Well of course New Zealand isn't anti-American.

Helen Clark

#9. Unbeknown to us, some of the people who we hope are missing us wherever they are do miss us; some miss someone else; and some are dead.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

#10. Many a man was caused to perish by something that he and many men cherish.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

#11. I nurture very good intentions about you. May you die in peace.

Fakeer Ishavardas

#12. Sitting on the sidelines in our interconnected world is not a sufficient response.

Dillon Burroughs

#13. All boxers are different, and we all approach the fights in different ways.

Miguel Cotto

#14. What would people think?'
Jesus said that people think all sorts of things. The human mind is like a cloud of gnats. Constant motion. That's why you have to look at the heart.
'Oh,' said Grandpa.

Garrison Keillor

#15. Work with all your heart, because - I promise - if you show up for your work day after day after day after day, you

Elizabeth Gilbert

#16. Not every single way of saying the right thing is right.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

#17. I really tried to work out hard to emulate the look and feel of the character, and did my best to represent the great artists that created him. At the same time, as an actor you have to find what you relate to in the character and make it your own, and hopefully people respond to it.

Daniel Cudmore

#18. Not everyone who condemns masturbation can masturbate.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

#19. A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I've got a nickle in my pocket.

Groucho Marx

#20. The man who wishes to understand himself thoroughly must with his unrest, uncertainty, and even his weakness and sinfulness, with his life and death, draw near to Christ.

Pope John Paul II

#21. Opinionum enim commenta delet dies; naturae judicia confirmat.
Time destroys the groundless conceits of men; it confirms decisions founded on reality.

Marcus Tullius Cicero

#22. Humor must be one of the chief attributes of God. Plants and animals that are distinctly humorous in form and characteristics are God's jokes.

Mark Twain

#23. My medication must be wearing off I'm starting to think my jokes are funny.

Stanley Victor Paskavich

#24. Doesn't it bother you? That I ... well, that I wanted to ... suck his blood?

Lili St. Crow

#25. I want to be on a show that's not sensitive to racial jokes; I want to be on one where they call me everything and I call them right back. There's blatant racism going both ways. That's what we need.

Wale

#26. No storm, since the beginning of time, has lasted forever.

Matshona Dhliwayo