Top 38 Humorous Marriage Quotes
#2. When you know yourself, your 'I'ness vanishes and you know that you and Allah are one and the same.
Ibn Arabi
#3. I may sing the same songs for over 40 years now but I always sing them in different ways in order to keep the excitement and passion alive.
Eric Burdon
#4. No, I can't stop for sonnets; my mother is sitting up. I'll look you up tomorrow, sometime or other, and do for goodness' sake try and realise that you're a pestilential scourge, or your find yourself in a most awful fix. Good-night!
Kenneth Grahame
#6. There are two secrets to a successful marriage. The first is having a husband who makes you laugh. The second is never telling your husband what you're laughing at.
John Hartnett
#7. It may have been observed that there is no regular path for getting out
of love as there is for getting in. Some people look upon marriage as a
short cut that way, but it has been known to fail.
Thomas Hardy
#8. Africa's salvation doesn't lie in begging and begging for more aid, and as an African, I find it very, very humiliating.
George Ayittey
#9. I was very sorry to hear about your losses. Your brother was a terrible traitor, I know, but if we start killing men at weddings they'll be more frightened of marriage than they are presently. (Olenna Tyrell to Sansa Stark
George R R Martin
#11. When laying out a quote on deceit, one must not be bias by using the term him from a female nor her from a male. then they them self are giving a false impression!
Michael S. McKinney
#12. I do have one very brutal writing ritual. If I'm working in the morning, I don't allow myself a cup of tea until I've written two paragraphs. It's harsh.
Anthony Lane
#14. The wheel of Fortune turns one way and another, taking us to the heights or the depths. That is the great wheel on which we all turn, tied to destinies that move up or down at the whim of God above.
Ned Hayes
#15. There was a time when the one singular thing that held a marriage together was the threat of getting the kids.
Erma Bombeck
#16. The last time I was this confused I was watching a Fassbinder film.
Ken O'Neill
#17. The world has achieved brilliance without wisdom, power without conscience. Ours is a world of nuclear giants and ethical infants. We know more about war than we know about peace, more about killing than we know about living.
Omar Nelson Bradley
#18. Marriage is the equivalent of trying to live with a bug perpetually up your nose.
D'Artagnan Bloodhawke
D'Artagnan Bloodhawke
#19. Tell Jack that after he finishs saving the universe again, he has to take out the trash in the kitchen."
-Rosalind Kirby, one day in 1971
Mark Evanier
#20. You don't seem to realise, that in married life three is company and two is none.
Oscar Wilde
#21. But once more I say do as you please, for we women are born to this burden of being obedient to our husbands, though they be blockheads
Miguel De Cervantes Saavedra
#22. I kept my door more securely locked than ever and passed the time with foreign novels. Since Balzac was Luo's favourite I put him to one side, and with the ardour and earnestness of my eighteen years I fell in love with one author after another: Flaubert, Gogol, Melville, and even Romain Rolland.
Dai Sijie
#23. Now, I'm not against sex before marriage, but two minutes before? When the organist played "Here Comes the Bride" ...
Joan Rivers
#24. She ran out of her marriage the way a woman can run out of a pair of sandals when she decides to let go and really dash.
Stephen King
#26. Romantic love has its place but to define relationship solely in romantic terms is like describing marriage only by what a couple does on their honeymoon.
Dermot Davis
#28. The concerts you enjoy together/ Neighbors you annoy together/ Children you destroy together,/ That keep marriage in tact.
Stephen Sondheim
#29. Sergeant Colon owed thirty years of happy marriage to the fact that Mrs. Colon worked all day and Sargent Colon worked all night. They communicated by means of notes. They had three grown-up children, all born, Vimes had assumed, as a result of extremely persuasive handwriting.
Terry Pratchett
#31. People ask me whether I feel any hope for the future. I want to say to you: Yes, I do. I absolutely do.
Not hope for the human race; we're screwed. But I feel tremendous hope for the Insect Overlords who shall succeed us as masters of the Earth.
M T Anderson
#32. In Manhattan, marriage is a trend. Couples kiss over their arugula and radicchio salads. They fondle each other's genitals while devouring their pasta puttanesca. By the time the tiramisu arrives, they've slid under the table.
Cynthia Heimel
#33. Love a girl truly
Expectation: Marriage
Reality : Friendzoned
Subhasis Das
#34. First month honey ... Next month pie ... Third month ... Get out here and work, you damn bitch, same as I.
Karen Cecil Smith
#35. There is a perfect marriage. Any marriage counselor can tell you that.
Ljupka Cvetanova
#36. I'm not an employee who goes to the office every morning at the same time. Then, vacations are needed.
Karl Lagerfeld
#37. I love to take actors to a place where they open a vein. That's the job. The key is that I make it safe for them to open the vein.
Mike Nichols
#38. The crickets felt it was their duty to warn everybody that summertime cannot last for ever. Even on the most beautiful days in the whole year - the days when summer is changing into autumn - the crickets spread the rumour of sadness and change.
E.B. White
