Top 100 Kinky Friedman Quotes

#1. I support gay marriage. I believe they have a right to be as miserable as the rest of us.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #5571
#2. I even went so far as to become a Southern Baptist for a while, until I realized that they didn't hold 'em under long enough.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #29157
#3. If you're lookin' for a helpin' hand, try the one at the end of your arm.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #58211
#4. Seventeen publishers rejected the manuscript, at which time we knew we had something pretty hot.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #72967
#5. How hard can it be?

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #91624
#6. I just want Texas to be number one in something other than executions, toll roads and property taxes.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #112008
#7. You've got to find what you love and let it kill you. I don't think any of us should ever forget that.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #114277
#8. This is called "spiritual lifting." It's not heavy lifting. The governor of Texas should not be confused with Arnold Schwarzenegger. That's a powerful position. The governor of Texas can't do any heavy lifting really. It's not that powerful a position.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #163553
#9. Whether your destination is heaven or hell, you always have to change planes in Dallas.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #168442
#10. People are drooling for the truth. They want honesty from politicians, and they're not getting it.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #226163
#11. Cuban cigars is a big expense because I do smoke a lot of them, eight to 12 a day, so that would be almost as bad as a cocaine habit, a hundred bucks a day.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #232600
#12. I'm not afraid to live. I'm not afraid to fail. I'm not afraid to succeed. I'm not afraid to fall in love. I'm not afraid to be alone. I'm just afraid I might have to stop talking about myself for five minutes.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #271700
#13. Finding a cat
or having a cat find you
can change your world as much as marriage, divorce, love, death, or even winning the lottery can, and sometimes more.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #284650
#14. If Raymond Chandler came from the South, his name would be Ace Atkins.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #300421
#15. I want to be governor [of Texas] because I need the closet space.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #335420
#16. Remember: Y'all is singular. All y'all is plural. All y'all's is plural possessive.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #366094
#17. When you have a cat you assume certain responsibilities that, in a spiritual sense, transcend those of a marital or a business relationship.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #377697
#18. Man's ability to delude himself is infinite.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #428565
#19. We're going to make that Lone Star shine again

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #442671
#20. We've got to clear some of the room out of the prisons so we can put the bad guys in there, like the pedophiles and the politicians.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #459683
#21. If Willie Nelson had been Rosa Parks, there never would have been a civil rights movement in this country, because he refuses to leave the back of the bus.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #490256
#22. He looked like an accountant or a serial-killer type. Definitely one of the service industries.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #504375
#23. The art of writing fiction is to sail as dangerously close to the truth as possible without sinking the ship

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #521358
#24. I don't believe in carrying a weapon. If somebody wants to shoot me, he'll have to bring his own gun.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #559022
#25. There will be a whole new spirit blowing through Texas. There will be a smile on everybody's face and a chill up the spine of every politician.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #562256
#26. The Ten Commandments being taken out of the public schools. I want them back.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #580323
#27. You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can't wipe your friends off on a saddle.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #592782
#28. We were a country band with a social conscience.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #621530
#29. I am not anti-death penalty, but I'm damned sure anti-the-wrong-guy-getting-executed.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #649675
#30. Happiness is a moving target.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #667642
#31. I'd felt that a man without a woman was like a neck without a pain.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #680610
#32. Imagination, of course, is the money of childhood

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #686439
#33. Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #717419
#34. I rarely meddled in the cat's personal affairs and she rarely meddled in mine. Neither of us was foolish enough to attribute human emotions to our pets.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #723645
#35. Well, I hate to be the one to take the flyswatter to Tinker Bell, but ...

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #731715
#36. He looked a shade too healthy and nobody likes that. Particularly in New York.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #736200
#37. I don't apologize to people with an agenda.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #737549
#38. The folks in Mississippi are saying, 'Thank God for Texas.'

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #825934
#39. I have a better head of hair than Rick Perry; it's just not in a place I can show you.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #826829
#40. I'm not pro-life, and I'm not pro-choice. I'm pro-football.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #832184
#41. The distance between the limousine and the gutter is a short one.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #835421
#42. I was so high, I needed a stepladder to scratch my own ass.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #848769
#43. No matter where you go, you always see yourself in the rearview mirror.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #850164
#44. I've always said money may buy you a fine dog, but only love can make it wag its tail.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #908662
#45. Like most of us, I determined that I'd rather be a large part of the problem than a small part of the solution.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #915917
#46. And I'll tell you another thing, you won't find any candidate that supports prayer in school and gay marriage. For that reason alone, people should vote for an independent-thinking person.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #917984
#47. The good teachers are bailing out. Education is very important ... This should be the centerpiece on the table of Texas.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #985394
#48. The system is not perfect. Until it's perfect, let's do away with the death penalty.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #995749
#49. You never marry the person you first see 'Casablanca' with.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #1010153
#50. William Bennett is my patron saint, one of them. Redd Foxx is another.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #1022592
#51. We're all worm bait waiting to happen. It's what you do while you wait that matters.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #1025086
#52. There are more inspirational people in music than there are in politics.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #1041744
#53. May the God of your choice bless and keep you. I respect Him as long as He does not circumcise me anymore.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #1087848
#54. A fool and his money are soon elected

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #1096541
#55. In six days the Lord created the heavens and the earth and all the wonders therein. There are some of us who feel that He might have taken just a little more time.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #1138583
#56. I don't apologize to people who try to intimidate.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #1140989
#57. Golf is the only opportunity that middle-aged WASPs have to dress up like a pimp.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #1144112
#58. If you don't love Jesus-go to hell!

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #1177145
#59. You have to pretend that your life is a financial pleasure even when your autographs are bouncing.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #1197883
#60. Inspiration thing is important, to teach the kids that JFK is not an airport, RFK's not a stadium, Martin Luther King ain't a street

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #1207589
#61. If you gotta kill two birds, might as well get stoned.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #1221292
#62. This system is really broken. No Child Left Behind has really failed and the only way to solve education is to leave one governor behind.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #1235480
#63. These days, there are many people around the world who listen to the songs that made me infamous and read the books that made me respectable.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #1241771
#64. Always beware of people offering you one-time money. That only works in an election year. How are you going to permanently pay for education?

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #1257349
#65. Musicians can run this state better than politicians. We won't get a lot done in the mornings, but we'll work late and be honest.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #1259158
#66. A happy childhood ... is the worst possible preparation for life.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #1267573
#67. It wasn't a healthy attitude, but it wasn't really a healthy world.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #1277058
#68. Rocky Hawkins has written a rare, fun and beautiful book. If you don't believe me, read it for yourself.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #1286107
#69. The best fiction is true.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #1302239
#70. In April 1933, Willie's mother, Myrle, gave birth to him in a manger somewhere along the old highway between Waco & Dallas. There were angels in attendance that night. Some of them, no doubt, flying too close to the ground:

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #1325820
#71. Remember, the Legislature is the joke, not our campaign.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #1346535
#72. Poly means more than one, and ticks are bloodsucking parasites.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #1362244
#73. You struggle with your demons and you conquer them.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #1362331
#74. I admit I was drinking a Guinness ... but I did not swallow.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #1363020
#75. I'm also for gay marriage, because I say they have every right to be just as miserable as the rest of us. Love is bigger than government. And Texas, by the way, has a very progressive law about gay couples adopting kids. We just won't let them get married. So that's not common sense.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #1382308
#76. An editor's job is to take something great and make it good.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #1402338
#77. There is a difference between who is important and who is significant.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #1428297
#78. Young people are the key to this election.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #1459203
#79. My three favorite travel writers of all time are Robert Louis Stevenson, Graham Greene, and Chuck Thompson. Smile When You're Lying not only tells the truth about the travel-writing racket, it gets to the heart of some of the travel industry's best-kept secrets.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #1470438
#80. I'm not for the parties. I'm for Texas.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #1474522
#81. No, nothing has changed in my life at all, and nothing would change if I had millions.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #1488884
#82. On the whole I prefer cats to women because cats seldom if ever use the word 'relationship'.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #1509611
#83. And I think musicians can better run this state than politicians. And, hell, beauticians can better run the state than politicians.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #1527904
#84. The teachers are getting screwed, blued, and tattooed by the system.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #1554284
#85. I admit to drinking it, but I did not swallow.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #1604501
#86. I came from an upper-middle class home, which is always a hard cross for a country singer to bear.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #1662505
#87. I don't think I have even achieved fame. Of course, Hemingway says that fame is death's little sister.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #1685509
#88. Why did i so passionately require the truth? because all great fiction is true

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #1687038
#89. I don't see how the people who created the problem can fix it. Texas is worth fighting for, and the best way to fight is to get the politicians out of politics.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #1706921
#90. Friday night was the night most people thought they were supposed to have fun. Trouble was most people didn't know what fun was or how to have it, so things usually ended up pretty ugly.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #1722552
#91. The reason educational spending in Texas is so low is because you don't have a state tax there, and that's why Texas is big growth because you don't tax people to death.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #1746880
#92. I'm going to lower the drinking age to eighteen. If you're old enough to die in Iraq, you're old enough to drink.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #1753160
#93. You don't accomplish much by swimming with the mainstream. Hell, a dead fish can do that.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #1789249
#94. Yes, I'm a Judeo-Christian. Jesus and Moses are in my heart, and ... both of them were independents, by the way.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #1789731
#95. I believe that voices like Ross Perot (search), Pat Buchanan, Ralph Nader should be heard. They don't have to be president. Give 'em a chance.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #1803323
#96. May the God of your choice bless you.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #1817221
#97. My goal as a young man, to be fat, famous and financially fixed by 50.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #1829899
#98. Students don't know who Mark Twain was because he wasn't on the test.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #1831708
#99. They probably would've taken Jesus if he hadn't been nailed down.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #1845725
#100. Sleep came slower than a frigid woman.

Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman Quotes #1868910

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