Funny Pain Sayings

#1. A person with no children says, "Well I just love children," and you say "Why?" and they say, "Because a child is so truthful, that's what I love about 'em - they tell the truth." That's a lie, I've got five of 'em. The only time they tell the truth is if they're having pain.

Bill Cosby

#2. It's funny how you can forget everything except people loving you. Maybe that's why humans find it so hard getting over love affairs. It's not the pain they're getting over, it's the love.

Melina Marchetta

#3. It's funny how beauty rides the back of pain .

Patricia Harman

#4. Since the goal of my programs is to show audiences how humor can both help them heal as well as deal with not-so-funny stuff, I decided to discuss the events of the previous week, the pain all of us were feeling, and how humor and some laughter might be beneficial.

Allen Klein

#5. I don't really like hospitals that much. People are sick; sometimes it can be depressing. There's people going through a lot of pain in there. It has that funny smell.

Mekhi Phifer

#6. Being with her I feel a pain, like a frozen knife stuck in my chest. An awful pain, but the funny thing is I'm thankful for it. It's like that frozen pain and my very existence are one.
The pain is an anchor, mooring me here.

Haruki Murakami

#7. My heart broke and my mind opened, tragedy works in a funny way like that ~ what once tore me apart was actually what was setting my truth free.

Nikki Rowe

#8. I had a horrible feeling my leg was broken. If it wasn't, it had a lot of explaining to do.

Darynda Jones

#9. It is amazing how much more amazing sleep is in the morning. You wake up and you're like, "I stayed up to do what?! Watch Growing Pains? What was I thinking!?" But at night you're like, "La La La La La, Hey! Growing Pains, awesome! And I've seen this episode. That Kirk Cameron's always in trouble."

Jim Gaffigan

#10. I'm always more motivated by the pain of a funny character than by what makes him funny.

Jason Alexander

#11. I briefly consider keying her precious BMW, but quite frankly, I don't have the energy to go all Carrie Underwood on her ass. I still have over an hour drive ahead of me.

-Jackson 'Blame It on the Pain

Ashley Jade

#12. It is hard for one who has not had a similar experience to imagine the terror that still gripped Taeko and Mrs. Tamaki and Hiroshi, so intense a terror that afterwards it seemed almost funny.

Jun'ichiro Tanizaki

#13. The two things in the world we all share in this world are laughter and pain. We've all got problems. The levels of those problems vary, but we've all got problems. When you can take things that are painful and make them funny, that's a gift - to you and your audience.

Kevin Hart

#14. Everyone should get to clobber a princess at least once, Jason said.

Brandon Mull

#15. Funny how his two special abilities - taking and giving life - were so opposite, but only the "good" one came with pain. He supposed it made sense; life fucking hurt.

Larissa Ione

#16. I remembered the last time I put this thing into my eye it was more painful than watching old political speeches while listening to the "Macarena" and having a root canal performed by an angry, clumsy chimp.

John Zakour

#17. You don't know anything about pain until you've seen your own baby drowned in a tub ... and you definitely don't know anything about how to wash a baby.

Anthony Jeselnik

#18. What? What's so funny? Some idiot tried to put a stake through your heart, and he didn't even hit the darn thing!"
For which I am grateful. And I am even more grateful that you rescued me. I did not like being imprisoned and in such pain.

Christine Feehan

#19. I'm actually way more funny now, because I'm hungry ... If comedy comes from pain, I should be funnier now than I ever was.

Seth Rogen

#20. I thought I'd lie on the floor and writhe in pain for a while," he grunted, "It relaxes me."
"It does? Oh - you're being sarcastic. That's a good sign probably.

Cassandra Clare

#21. Are you in pain?"
I rolled my eyes. Good news was that Apollo must've had a little talk with Hermes. "No, but you're a pain in my ass. Does that count?

Jennifer L. Armentrout

#22. Funny how quickly the mind moves, but how slowly time does when you're in pain.

Josephine Angelini

#23. I laugh because your pain is amusing.

Lauren Dane

#24. I must be alive," Gawain said hoarsely. "Dead doesn't hurt this much.

Gerald Morris

#25. Funny thing about straddling fences, though: eventually you end up with a pain in the butt and not much ground covered in any direction.

Logan Wolfram

#26. Finn gave a soft laugh. 'What's so funny?' 'I think you're the first person to actually apologise for inflicting pain. Usually it's someone's hobby.

Tabitha McGowan

#27. Humor is an escape, because you cannot think about your problems when you are trying to be funny; so, in essence, "being a humorist" gives you a valid excuse to hide from your pain.

Dave Barry

#28. You really are a pain in the ass," he laughs. I swat him playfully, laughing too as a single tear rolls down my cheek. He wipes it away and tucks my hair behind my ear, "But you're my pain in the ass.

Kandi Steiner

#29. I don't know how much more of this 'sugarplum' shit I can take.

I'm about ready to hand over my balls just so he can feel what it's like to have a pair again.

-Jackson 'Blame It on the Pain

Ashley Jade

#30. We are sometimes hurt mostly or only not by what happened or is happening to us but by being felt sorry for.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

#31. She bit her lip; she missed Ash. It was like a pain in her ribs, an ache that wouldn't cease. His experience would have been a big help, but more than that, he never made her feel inferior. Funny how her father was so good at that.

Annette Marie

#32. Somehow they stayed that way
For those 5 days in May
Made all the stars around them shine
Funny how you can look in vain
Living on nerves and such sweet pain
The loneliness that cuts so fine
To find the face you've seen a thousand times

Blue Rodeo

#33. How's your head?" the larger man asked.
"Do me a favor and cut it off," Black muttered. "It's more pain than it's worth right
now.

Tricia Owens

#34. When I was a kid I would write songs, little plays, and poetry in school. If you're an adult and you're a poet, it's all about love and pain, but if you're a kid it's, "Does anyone know a word that rhymes with shark?"

Mike Birbiglia

#35. Look at the people who are kind of the funniest cultures, they're the cultures of the people who have been the most oppressed, black people and Jews. Not that they're the only funny people, but culturally, it comes from the pain, you know?

Sarah Silverman

#36. You can't stop the gears of capitalism. But you can always be a pain in the ass.

Jarett Kobek

#37. One thing I will say, they often take it better than a man. Pain, that is. Probably the residue of tolerance from when they were all bloody witches and got stoned or burned or drowned for it, eh lad? Never tell your mother I said that, by the way.

Sarah Hall

#38. It's funny, most people think that revenge is a passionate affair, driven by rage and pain. But it can't be. Feelings such as those make you weak. They overwrite thought and cause reckless impulses that lead to poor decisions.

Carrie Ryan

#39. I'm currently imagining a few creative ways of causing you extraordinary amounts of pain."
Kingsley raised his chin. Mere inches separated their faces.
"Stop flirting. You know we don't have time for that.

Tiffany Reisz

#40. God knows life sucks. It's right there in the Bible. The book of Job is all about Job asking God to take away pain and misery. And God says, "I can't take away pain and misery because then no one would talk to me."

Bill Maher

#41. What was that? Rich combined the pain of a crooked arm with the indignity of a flicked ear. I could only hope the situation didn't escalate to the dreaded purple nurple.

Molly Harper

#42. You support me when I falter, and give me strength to bear the pain of my past. You make me laugh until I hurt, and soothe me when I'm tied up inside. It's funny how things work out, how life can throw curveballs, yet two people wind up exactly where they're supposed to be.

Kristin Miller

#43. Funny how much we all suffer trying to spare others a bit of pain.

Michael LaRocca

#44. I've always loved the blues, ever since I was a kid. It has a depth to it that a lot of contemporary music doesn't have. It has pain and suffering in it, but funny stories, too. And it is built on storytelling, which is something I really love.

Nickolas Ashford

#45. Funny, how it took a little bit of pain to remember that certain parts of yourself were alive.

Adi Alsaid

#46. So what's it to be, Bear?"
Dev lifted his leg and gave a sarcastic slap to his thigh.
"By golly, I'll take door number two, Bob. You know the one that calls for straight suicide with a side of mutilation and pain? Sign my hairy ass up for that and don't be late.

Sherrilyn Kenyon

#47. Whoever said that a drunk mind speaks sober thoughts...was clearly still drunk off their ass.


-Jackson 'Blame It on the Pain

Ashley Jade

#48. Listen to me," he said, pulling off his coat. "You need to stay awake."
She almost laughed, a shallow chuckle cut short by pain.
He tore the lining from the Colton jacket. "What's so funny?"
"You're a really shitty monster, August Flynn.

Victoria Schwab

#49. I'm not saying he was, like, crying tears of man pain over the phone, but he sounded upset.

Hannah Harrington

#50. You're thoughtful, Barbara, but you're not open. You're passionate, but you're hard. You're a good, decent, funny, wonderful woman, and I love you, but you're a pain in the ass.

Tracy Letts

#51. There is nobody out there that will ever be what you are to me. Nobody will ever be pretty enough, smart enough, funny enough, or as big of a pain in my ass as you are. You're the only one I want. You're the only one I've ever wanted.

Claire Contreras

#52. I'm going to do the old 'plaster removal' technique and just get the pain over with in one go: 'Life's Too Short' isn't funny to me.

Ian Watson

#53. The silent horror of Archie's ordeal had been temporarily replaced by the howling, agonising pain of the blood refusing to drain from his penis, the end of which was a deep purple verging on black where Officer Griff had tested how hard it was by using the back of his hand to give it a solid twang.

Dylan Perry

#54. It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain.

Rick Baker

#55. Screaming at children over their grades, especially to the point of the child's tears, is child abuse, pure and simple. It's not funny and it's not good parenting. It is a crushing, scarring, disastrous experience for the child. It isn't the least bit funny.

Ben Stein

#56. Films are big hits when they touch a lot of people. Things are not funny in a vacuum, they're funny because we respond to some personal dislocation, some embarrassment, some humiliation, some pain we've suffered, or some desire we have.

Harold Ramis

#57. Why were things funny? Was God laughing at us? Or was laughter the dispensation of God? Maybe laughter itself was Godlike. When we laugh, we rise above pain. We rise above indignity. We even rise above incredulity. We "get it." Maybe in the way God "gets it.

Richard Tillotson

#58. The stoic contemplates fallen leaves; the epicure rakes them into a loveseat.

Bauvard

#59. You find out in life that people really like you funny. So what do you give 'em? Humor. And then if you show them the other side, they don't like you as much. I find, too, that I can hide behind the idiot's mask being funny, and you never see the sorrow or the pain.

Terry Bradshaw

#60. I used to wonder why I had hair on my legs, but now I know it's for my toddler sons and daughters to pull themselves up off the ground with as I scream in pain.

Jim Gaffigan

#61. Pain has a funny way of focusing the mind. Only what hurts matters.

John C. Wright

#62. As I walk through This wicked world Searchin' for light in the darkness of insanity, I ask myself Is all hope lost? Is there only pain and hatred, and misery? And each time I feel like this inside, There's one thing I wanna know: What's so funny 'bout Peace, Love, & Understanding?

Elvis Costello

#63. That's the funny thing about music. Part of the magic, I quess. Sometimes it replenishes me, like I'm feeding off its energy and it fills me. And other times, it pulls at my pain, weaves its way through the strands of my soul and wrecks it.

Caisey Quinn

#64. Innovation Big pain, no shame being same-to-same

Praveen Kumar

#65. Life is pain. Anyone who says otherwise is selling something.

William Goldman