Top 97 Funny Body Sayings
#1. That's the funny thing about running. The deceptive thing about it. It may seem mindless, but its really mental. If the minds strong, the body acts weak, even if its not.
Wendelin Van Draanen
#2. COFFEE! Because this body is NOT going to wake itself up!
Tanya Masse
#3. He caught her staring and smiled-not a conceited I-work-out-and-have-a-great-body type smirk, but more of a I'm-a-boy; you're-a-girl; life is good.
Cherise Sinclair
#4. It's funny what a few no-hitters do for a body.
Satchel Paige
#5. It's funny because when I got 'Jarhead' and 'Avatar' and all those movies, 'Leprechaun' still to this day airs on BET. I was thinking, 'Will they just let it go? I finally have a body of work that can speak much better to what I can do than just Leprechaun.'
Laz Alonso
#6. Stupid Romanian bloodsucker. He was lucky I hadn't bestowed another exalted scar on his imperial body.
Beth Fantaskey
#7. There's lotion for your face, lotion for your hands, lotion for your feet, lotion for your body. Why? What would happen if you put hand lotion on your feet? Would your feet get confused and start clapping?
Ellen DeGeneres
#8. The funny thing was that his kiss had felt like fucking me, and his fucking me felt like being kissed, everywhere, every bit of my body unbearably warm and buzzing.
Leah Raeder
#10. Which sort of shows why my body is an idiot, because forced narcolepsy is pretty much the worst defense ever.
Jenny Lawson
#11. That face. That body. And you know he's packing. Look at the angle on that dangle.
Jeaniene Frost
#12. Jared told her he used to be an exotic dancer in San Francisco.'
'My body is a gift from God,' Jared said gravely. 'Except for my hips, which are clearly a gift from the devil.
Sarah Rees Brennan
#13. I remind myself that if there was anything in the air that would react with my body, it would've reacted with the scanner. What I really want right now is a second scanner to scan this scanner.
Hugh Howey
#14. The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around.
Thomas A. Edison
#15. Just then Jagger walks in, his hair all ruffled and his body hard and firm. We all stop talking and stare as he runs his hands through his hair in an attempt to straighten it up.
"Take a picture ladies, it lasts longer." he mutters
Bec Botefuhr
#16. Fitness - if it came in a bottle, everybody would have a great body.
Cher
#18. Fine, I'll touch you, briefly, but only because you sound like you need the praise that your body's hot, and I'm totally selfless like that.
Kyle Adams
#19. Last night I was seriously considering whether I was a bisexual or not but I don't think so though I'm not sure if I'd like to be and argh I don't think there's anything wrong with that, if you like a person, you like the person, not their genitals.
Jess C. Scott
#20. Avery: Yeah right, very funny, when are you going to shoot me and dump my body at captree? This is Getting old.
H.M. Ward
#21. He's got the kind of body that could turn a nun into a whore.
Brooke Moss
#22. I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.
Winston Bennett
#23. A room - full of detached feet - like hundreds of them. Maybe thousands! And I saw the king in there. He was having an orgy with them. It was the most horrible thing I've ever seen. Like a bunch of insects crawling all over his naked body. Except they weren't insects.
Colleen Chen
#24. I'm like, bursting. I should be working. I don't want to take a break. It's funny, on set, I don't have to go to the bathroom, I don't have anything wrong, I'm perfectly fine, so through-and-through. I'm not hungry. I'm literally not even in my own body.
Kristen Stewart
#25. It's blue and it's wailing because its little body is cold. The only people who think it's beautiful are its parents, and the doctor is just happy it's alive. And none of that is funny.
Mindy Kaling
#26. Body language translation: hell yes, dipshit
Shay Rucker
#27. My problem is that my body acts before my brain thinks ... it sometimes brings me huge trouble, or also huge success. recently, my body and brain got come to an agreement. it may be far better to live this gambling life than living in boring average ... they at least make my art more interesting
Hiroko Sakai
#28. I thanked the lucky stars for my great metabolism, because Karsen had showed me pictures of her mom once and it was scary the transformation she underwent after popping three kids out. She went from a small, dainty beauty to a giant pineapple blob of a body.
Holly Hood
#29. The funny thin is, you say it like it's so unusual that you've only done it once. But I bet a whole lot of people go through their lives without ever telling the truth, not really. And they wake up in the same body and the same life every singe morning.
David Levithan
#30. You're like an idiot...trapped in an idiot's body!"
Hey it was funny at the time and level of intoxication.
Jedidiah Behe
#31. Now that I'm more mature, in a funny way, I can even appreciate that I've bad to become more aware of my body. Since I've chosen acting as my career, I have to keep my weight down anyway-I've been used to it for years, so it's no problem. And there's nothing I can't do.
Dana Hill
#32. I felt like an animal, and animals don't know sin, do they?
Jess C. Scott
#33. ONLY' having the Gift, people appreciate this madness as Art. Everybody wants to have Art in their lives, but no body wants to have what the Art came out from in their lives ...
Hiroko Sakai
#34. I was born with an adult head and a tiny body. Like a 'Peanuts' character.
Jon Stewart
#35. I've been practicin' my morgue face for when I have to go identify your body. Wanna see it? Nick said then he arranged his face in this kind of mock, sad, shocked look and slowly shook his head like a world with vigilante social workers
mystified him.
Kristen Ashley
#36. Don't make trouble at the pub tonight, Wayne," the man intoned in response. "My temper is really short." "Temper?" Wayne said, passing him. "That's a funny name for it, mate, but if the ladies like you givin' silly names to your body parts, I ain't gonna say nothin'.
Brandon Sanderson
#37. Take another glass of wine, and excuse my mentioning that society as a body does not expect one to be so strictly conscientious in emptying one's glass, as to turn it bottom upwards with the rim on one's nose.
Charles Dickens
#38. I don't have a cherubic bone in my body."
"Maybe you've got your bone in someone else's cherubic body then?
Jane Washington
#40. People worried too much about their children. Suffering when you're young is good for you. It immunized your body and soul ...
Jeannette Walls
#41. Those lips had curved into a knowing half smile that did funny things to her insides. And like a match tossed to gasoline, her body sparked alive and flames licked every inch of her.
J. Lynn
#42. It is funny how it is almost more painful to fall over and scrape your knee than to be blown up. Your body goes into incredible protection mode.
Giles Duley
#43. She gets naughty with her Pilates body
And she thinks it's really funny when her nose goes bloody
Mickey Avalon
#44. Right now, I couldn't have cared less if someone had waltzed across the room in a large flower costume with a sign saying GET YOUR BLACK TULIPS HERE. Every nerve in my body was on man-alert, screaming, incoming!
Lauren Willig
#45. Part of her wanted to comfort him, to tell him everything was going to be okay. But the rest of her just wanted to throw him to the ground and rip those jeans off him. Funny how she could be so jealous of a pair of pants. They covered the sinfully male body she longed to explore.
Rosalie Lario
#46. A comedian's body is funny as well as his mind being funny, his whole personage is funny.
Bobby Darin
#47. When have I ever given him the impression that I was okay with him just stopping by whenever he wanted to use my body as an organic garbage disposal?
Nash Summers
#48. I had the classic 40 meltdown. I did. It's embarrassing. It was pretty funny. But then I recovered. To me, it was like a second adolescence. Hormonally, my body was changing, my mind was changing, and so my relationship to myself and the world around me came to this assault of finiteness.
Keanu Reeves
#49. Lay it on me"
"I was trying to. Geez, woman, make up your mind," Fane hold her, eyes glowing. She threw one hand up to hold him off.
"I meant your idea, fur ball, not your delectable body.
Quinn Loftis
#50. My body is tired as worn out rug, but my brain (if i had) is always full of curiosity, jumping around for seeking new funs. If they could learn how to be cooperative each others, my life could be way easier ... sigh*
Hiroko Sakai
#51. In school we chanted, along with our teacher, I am the Captain of my fate, I am the Master of my soul, and meanwhile, within my own body, an anarchic insurrection had been launched by one of my privates- which I was helpless to put down!
Philip Roth
#52. It's funny how something so normal and mundane that you see every day-your body-can be controversial. The shock value is intense. It's like carrying an art piece around with you all the time.
Beth Ditto
#53. An understanding washed over Darren. You plan on me running."
"For many, many years." The crooked smile on Trent's mouth sent a shiver throughout my body. He was utterly dangerous when he wanted to be.
Elizabeth J. Kolodziej
#54. I rolled my eyes, trying to keep my eyes off his body, just the sight of his abs or arms was enough to make me want to get naked and let Carlo take over anything he wanted.
Holly Hood
#55. You need to realise how gorgeous you are.'
She laughs, but I'm not trying to be funny. 'I mean it Flo, you really are. Somewhere under all that disbelief.
Dawn O'Porter
#56. He stood and inhaled, then walked a few more feet, stooped, and prodded a chunk of rabbit fur.
"I'm definitely thinking something with more body parts," I said. "Like a head."
He gave a snort of a laugh. "It's probably around here somewhere, but I suppose you want the parts attached, too.
Kelley Armstrong
#57. The vibration of his cell phone broke his reverie. "Doucette," he answered. "Meet me at the Lamothe House," Sassy replied. "Sassy, I told you I'm not that kind of girl." "Very funny, Mr. Smart Ass. Looks like we have another body." "I'm almost there," Michel said quickly, then hung up.
David Lennon
#59. I'm quite an odd little part of the Venn diagram. I'm not a movie star and beautiful in that way. I do an odd thing that's funny and sad, and my face and my old body can take that.
Tamsin Greig
#60. Zebrowski says that if you killed someone else just hide the body, he's not starting over on the paperwork.
Laurell K. Hamilton
#61. Be nice. Funny. Smart. Generous. Kind. Feed your body with good food. Your soul with good friends. And your mind with new things.
Jillian Dodd
#62. I always thought that farts were funny, and I always thought that they were mine to talk about because they came out of my body.
Jenny Slate
#63. Jordan ran the London marathon to help raise money for the blind. After jogging that far with her body, I'm surprised she hasn't joined them!
Frankie Boyle
#64. You see, in Washington they have these bodies, Senate and the House of Representatives. That is for the convenience of the visitors. If there is nothing funny happening in one, there is sure to be in the other, and in case one body passes a good bill, why, the other can see it in time and kill it.
Will Rogers
#65. You know who DOES have a funny bone in her body? Your Mom every night for a dollar!
Tina Fey
#66. I feel very very old. My hair hurts. I have buttocks all over my body and I can't even smoke properly any more. I don't have lungs, I just have two poppadoms in here.
Dylan Moran
#67. Hey!" He snapped out of his musings as Destiny's hand trailed down his body to cup his less than interested cock through his trousers. "Claws to self, Vampira, I assume you brush your teeth twice a day but I have no idea where those hands of yours have been.
Jane Cousins
#68. When you live in a leading lady's body, which I do, you have to constantly prove that you are funny.
Elizabeth Banks
#69. The uniform enhanced his athletic body, and my thoughts drifted to how magnificent he would look with his uniform puddled around his feet.
Maria V. Snyder
#70. I glance down his body. He's still wearing his shorts and his shirt, and I still have my T-shirt on. Jeez
talk about wham, bam, thank you ma'am.
E.L. James
#71. I went in and said, "If I see one more gratuitous shot of a woman's body, I'm quitting ... " I think the show should be emotional story lines, morals, real- life heroes. And that's what we're doing
David Hasselhoff
#72. The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.
Steven Wright
#73. I remember calling the council's cemetery department to ask about body decomposition in different soil types. Once they had verified that I was a novelist and not a sicko, they were extremely helpful.
Sara Sheridan
#74. You're doing this for Kimmie for free."
"I'd do anything for Kimmie."
"Including bury a body?"
"Especially bury a body.
Jamie Farrell
#75. I'm comfortable with who I am," I say, which is a funny thing to say while shaming my own body in a full-length mirror. "Shut
Matthew Norman
#76. Day drag." Ashley answered simply. "The sun turns vampires into dust and drag queens into this." He motioned with his hand down his body.
Kyle Adams
#77. You can be zany and funny or you can do something that really has some depth to it and serious, so there's many different colors to paint with. I would hate to get trapped in one little thing. I always feel like funny is an appendage, but it is not my whole body.
Jim Carrey
#78. Behold the Power of the peanut. His body mass may be small, but his influence is mighty. The last holdout in the Tower has officially fallen to him.
(Said by Pia about the effect her son 'peanut' had on the Sentinel Aryal)
Thea Harrison
#79. If your body is 90% water what have you got to drink water all the time for? Why can't you just have some crisps?
Russell Brand
#80. I scoured myself with lye soap from head to toe to get the evil funk of demon snot off me. I have flossed things the gods never meant to be flossed and used things that would be toxic to most living organisms. All to sanitize my body for your chewing pleasure.
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#81. Adam's hot Pheebs! Admit it girl. That body is like some kind of happy experiment. It's like he was manufactured in a nympho scientist's secret laboratory
Daniel Waters
#82. Are we going to be stupid?" she whispered.
"Define stupid."
"Anything that involves either one of us exposing our favorite body parts." Or their hearts ...
"I want to hear about your favorite body part," he said. "In great detail.
Jill Shalvis
#83. Pearl eyed a man and woman walking by in funny hats. Her whole body stiffened with the desire to bark at them. Mine too. But we had both been urged repeatedly not to, and we were
Robert B. Parker
#84. You cannot expect a man to love you, but not because of your body or physical construction. It is like giving a man the option between choosing you and a monkey.
M.F. Moonzajer
#85. You're probably wondering: why were Medusa's kids a golden warrior and a winged horse? And how had they been stuck in Medusa's body all those years?Heck, I dunno. I'm just telling you how it was. You want stuff to make sense, you're in the wrong universe
Rick Riordan
#86. On my way to the parking lot, in quick succession, I saw students wearing t-shirts which read, "Save the whales. Collect the whole set," "Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now," and "Half the people you know are below average." Typical for the Eastern student body.
Neil S. Plakcy
#87. The human body is in constant change the minute we're born. It's in a constant state of decay. We're all like Ford Escorts, just falling apart.
Adam Ferrara
#88. And while my mind is telling me I'm flirting with her just to prove a point, my body wants to play you show me your perky privates and I'll show you mine.
Simone Elkeles
#89. I pick up Dylan. He certainly takes after his father: about three-quarters of his body weight seems to be head, and three-quarters of that is ears.
Ken Jennings
#90. Seeing you lights up my day, to hear your voice makes me smile all cheesy, to see you smile makes my heart all warm and fuzzy, when you say I love you makes my body weak.
Alice Gardner
#91. Behind me, Marc made a soft whistling sound, clearly impressed. "That's not standard procedure," he said, his tone entirely too reasonable as he leaned over the stray's body to open the back passenger-side door.
"Yeah, well, I'm not your standard enforcer.
Rachel Vincent
#92. Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.
Rita Rudner
#93. The body's a funny thing. It's so full of surprises that it makes conventional wisdom seem silly.
Pat Conroy
#94. You need anything we're only an hour away, give or take, honey. You call. We'll help you hide the body.
Sean Michael
#95. The reason why a man cannot stop staring at a woman ass is only because God has spent 80 percent of his time and efforts on woman ass and 20 percent on her entire body.
M.F. Moonzajer
#96. There was a silence. Elliot was surprised, because he would have thought the sound of every atom in his body exploding with indignation might make some noise.
Sarah Rees Brennan
#97. I know people will think it's funny because I've done glamour modelling in the past, but I felt embarrassed about my body and just wanted to cover it up.
Jennifer Ellison
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