Top 100 Leah Raeder Quotes
#1. Part of falling in love with someone is actually falling in love with yourself. Realizing that you're gorgeous, you're fearless and unpredictable, you're a firecracker spitting light, entrancing a hundred faces that stare up at you with starry eyes.
Leah Raeder
#2. I couldn't tear my eyes from the window, wanting to drink in as much of St. Louis as I could, knowing somewhere out there, one of those infinitesimally small lights was him. I wondered if he'd look up and see the planes crossing the sky like shooting stars, knowing one of those lights was me.
Leah Raeder
#3. I'm not over you. I dream about you every night. I watch that fucking video over and over just to hear your voice. Does that make you happy? Is that proof I cared?
Leah Raeder
#4. Two boys, both in varsity football, kissing under the bleachers, muscular silhouettes merging against the deep purple sky. I wasn't the only one with a secret. In the grand scheme of things, my secret wasn't even as dangerous as some of theirs.
Leah Raeder
#5. That's another thing about lies: if you convince yourself they're true, they become true. A lie is a discrepancy of belief, not fact.
Leah Raeder
#6. Seeing someone you once loved is like falling in love for the first time all over again.
Leah Raeder
#7. That's why we're just friends," Armin said, so softly I barely heard. "She can't fall in love, and I can't fall out.
Leah Raeder
#8. Angels trying to scar themselves, bored of perfection.
Leah Raeder
#9. If I die, that's what they'll find in me. This face, inked in the surface of every cell.
Leah Raeder
#10. If there's a better definition of love than mutual benevolent insanity, I haven't heard it.
Leah Raeder
#11. Recklessness makes you act. Bravery is following through.
Leah Raeder
#12. That's how you know someone loves you. When they want you to be happy even in the part of your life they'll never see. But right then I was too stuck in the moment, in the visceral pleasure of it all.
Leah Raeder
#13. You're never saying what you think you're saying.
Leah Raeder
#14. So if we're both so happy, why are we sad?
Leah Raeder
#15. The world looks down on you, expects nothing from you because of the color of your skin and your mother's family name. They don't want you to fail. They want you to not even try. If you try, you will never disappoint me.
Leah Raeder
#16. She was an uptight elitist bitch who considered fast food unworthy of being fed to dogs, but when she did something she did it wholeheartedly, with perverse gusto, as if to show she was so far beyond irony she'd circled back to authenticity.
Leah Raeder
#18. The first time it happens, it can be explained. Accident. Experiment. Fluke. Everything was confusing. The lines blurred.
The second time is when it really happens for the first time.
Leah Raeder
#19. Sometimes you feel things so much, so intensely, it becomes a new kind of numbness, the oblivion of overstimulation.
Leah Raeder
#20. This world is so thick with ghosts it's a wonder anyone can breathe.
Leah Raeder
#21. Every dream is a pipe dream before someone achieves it.
Leah Raeder
#22. Watched dusk fall in shades of blood and old bruises.
Leah Raeder
#23. If you're trying to avoid loss, there's no point in taking another breath, or letting your heart beat one more time. It all ends.
Leah Raeder
#24. I was too young to care about boring adult jobs. I was still testing out how my heart worked.
Leah Raeder
#25. It's easy to see other women as enemies. But we're the only real allies we've got.
Leah Raeder
#26. We sat in the shadows, full of unspeakable things.
Leah Raeder
#27. I love you, I thought. If I was the only person truly alive that night, it was because of you. You made the world come alive for me and I love you, I love you, I love you.
Leah Raeder
#28. Okay, I should probably go. I don't want to stop, though. I can't stop with you. Come with me to St. Louis. Let's find happiness.
Leah Raeder
#29. I want all of you," I said. "Every part."
He whispered back, "It's yours.
Leah Raeder
#30. Anger is like that. Runs on its own fumes, devours itself voraciously, explosively, until one day there is no fire left. Only pure, cold, unbreakable hardness. Like the diamond core in me.
Leah Raeder
#31. But when I was alone I couldn't breathe. Everything feels like drowning except you. You're my oxygen.
Leah Raeder
#32. I see the lights every night. It seems like the whole world has figured out how to be happy, but no one's letting me in on the secret.
Leah Raeder
#33. Thanks, Dad, for leaving a huge void in my life that Freud says has to be filled with dick.
Leah Raeder
#34. You can fall in love again with someone you're already in love with. It's like waking from a dream within a dream and finding another layer, the colors more vivid, the light more lucid, the fantasy more real. Being in love is an endless loop of waking to reverie.
Leah Raeder
#35. Sometimes all you know about where you're going is that it's away from where you are.
Leah Raeder
#36. In a typical college romance novel, this was the moment I would've been waiting for. The validation of all my shame and suffering at the hands of other men: a beautiful boy loved me. What had been done to my body didn't ruin me for Mr. Right. Zippity-fucking-doo-dah.
Leah Raeder
#37. Suicide isn't really about death, though. It's about change. Release.
Leah Raeder
#38. I know what you were searching for. The same thing I want.
To live without pain.
But the only way to live without pain is to live without feeling. Or to not live.
Leah Raeder
#39. Nobody knows how to be a grown-up. We're all just pretending for each other.
Leah Raeder
#40. I hide myself in my words. There's a cipher, and one half is in my writing and the other half is in me, and if you have them both then you'll understand everything. Strangers think it's just a story, but you'll know what's real. You'll know who I really am.
Leah Raeder
#41. It blurred the lines between lust and inspiration in a way we've always intuitively known they should be blurred, because desire underlies every act of creation.
Leah Raeder
#42. Our gazes struck like flint and steel. And I realized that gunsmoke smell wasn't ozone. It was us. We burned.
Leah Raeder
#43. His lips were soft and tinged with bitter earthy beer, and he kissed me gently,
Leah Raeder
#44. The removal of all boundaries, all distractions, leaving us with nothing but each other - scary. What kind of people would we be without secrecy and desperation?
Leah Raeder
#45. You said you didn't know how to have a grown-up relationship. Well, here's your first lesson, Maise. When it gets hard, you don't run away.
Leah Raeder
#46. This world is run by people who know somebody.
Leah Raeder
#47. That's not who you are," Blythe said.
"Who am I?"
"My little wolf." She traced my jaw, the ridge of my knuckles. "All teeth and claws. Cunning, and fierce, and insatiable.
Leah Raeder
#48. Boys are so beautiful when they don't realize how powerful they are. When they hold it with quiet grace, oblivious to how easily they could rip the world apart.
Leah Raeder
#49. I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed and sung me moonstruck, kissed me quite insane. And before you think that's cheesy,that's Sylvia Plath. Google her, young Padawan.
Leah Raeder
#50. Statistically, we're doomed.
Statistically, everyone is doomed.
Leah Raeder
#51. Maybe it wasn't solely about getting off. Maybe it was the illusion of intimacy, of sharing a life with this girl you jerked off to.
Leah Raeder
#52. Some girls had mothers who never called them beautiful but swore their love up and down. It's all the same, really. All bullshit.
Leah Raeder
#53. What a strange world where we pay people to listen to our problems, and pay them to fuck themselves while we watch, and pay them to save us.
Leah Raeder
#54. I never wanted you until I had you." She looked at me now, her breath ruffling my hair. "And then I couldn't imagine my life without you anymore. You're the dark thing that was in me. I set you free.
Leah Raeder
#55. Usually the thought process for a seventeen-year-old boy went girl touching me omg boner.
Leah Raeder
#56. The funny thing was that his kiss had felt like fucking me, and his fucking me felt like being kissed, everywhere, every bit of my body unbearably warm and buzzing.
Leah Raeder
#57. You can call it love, or you can call it freefall. They're pretty much the same thing.
Leah Raeder
#58. Are you scared?" he said into my hair.
"Yeah."
"What scares you?"
I kept my eyes on the ceiling.
"That this is too good. That it won't last. That you'll leave.
Leah Raeder
#59. I touched his hand, carefully. Not too intimate, but not some half-assed there-there pat, either. Would he understand? Usually the thought process for a seventeen-year-old boy went girl touching me>omg>boner.
Leah Raeder
#60. Most people just want to pass quietly in society. No preconceptions, no prejudices.
Leah Raeder
#61. A body has a way of wanting to be touched so badly that the touch itself will hurt, but so will remaining untouched. Nothing helps.
Leah Raeder
#62. I rarely bought anything. The things I really wanted couldn't be bought.
Leah Raeder
#63. Grow up. This is real. The world is ugly and nasty and fucked up, and so are we.
Leah Raeder
#64. I thought of Blue. Sometimes it's easier to talk to a stranger.
Leah Raeder
#65. Girls get under each other's skin. We get too close, too attached, too crazy, and then we can't let go. Our claws sink too deep. When we separate, we tear each other apart.
Leah Raeder
#66. There are moments, when you're getting to know someone, when you realize something deep and buried in you is deep and buried in them, too. It feels like meeting a stranger you've known your whole life.
Leah Raeder
#67. Part of loving someone is wanting them to be happy, even if it hurts you.
Leah Raeder
#68. Maybe all you need to pull you back form the ledge is to know someone would miss you if you fell.
Leah Raeder
#69. The way we looked at each other was more intimate than a kiss could have been
Leah Raeder
#70. Just that. A pleasant daze. My body was full of sunlight. No blood, just liquid blue sky.
Leah Raeder
#71. If you know you're going to die, what's left to fear?
That's the thing. Maybe we're not really afraid of pain. Maybe we're afraid of how much we might like it.
Leah Raeder
#72. Things I didn't expect to do my senior year:
Become a drug dealer.
Become my mother.
Find and lose the love of my life.
Leah Raeder
#73. I respect people who get nerdy as fuck about something they love
Leah Raeder
#74. He can talk about the future all he wants, but it's not going to wait for him to start.
Leah Raeder
#75. The storm front had finally broken, tatters of cloud pulling apart like cotton candy and sprinkling the sky with the bright sugar grains of stars.
Leah Raeder
#76. I never wanted to be saved. I wanted someone to follow me down into the darkness.
Leah Raeder
#77. Missing someone is the whetstone that sharpens want.
Leah Raeder
#78. She was breathing shallowly, fast. She stared at some central point on my face, not quite my eyes. "This is how I raised you? To make fuckin' threats about disowning me?"
"No," I said quietly. "This is how I raised me.
Leah Raeder
#79. There's something so terrible about wanting something you've already had. You know exactly what you're missing. Your body knows precisely how to shape itself around the ache, the hollowness that wants to be filled
Leah Raeder
#80. The pony stared at us lugubriously from the dashboard. Jesus. Little fucker had watched the whole thing.
Leah Raeder
#81. That was what we'd finally been forced to confront: if our relationship was based on forbiddenness, what would happen when it was no longer forbidden?
Leah Raeder
#83. This is what happens when you lie. Lies grow thin and steely and hard and become bars. Bars become a cage.
Leah Raeder
#85. He embraced me, and said into my ear, 'I'm going to fuck the shit out of you.'
I lost my breath.
It was crude, it was unexpected, and it set me on fucking fire.
Leah Raeder
#86. It's always goodbye with the mouth and until we meet again with the heart.
Leah Raeder
#87. Somewhere in the universe, two hearts reached out and connected.
Leah Raeder
#88. It's not crazy if I see monsters when I live in a fucking nightmare.
Leah Raeder
#89. If you think you can stand looking and not touching for eight months, you're welcome to try."
"Try' being the operative word," he said, sighing. "No, I can't. And I don't want to try.
Leah Raeder
#90. I don't categorize people by who I'm allowed to like and who I'm allowed to love.
Leah Raeder
#91. This is what they don't tell you about losing someone: It doesn't happen once. It happens every day, every moment they're missing from. You lose them a hundred times between waking and sleep, and even sleep is no respite, because you lose them in your dreams, too.
Leah Raeder
#92. It's inevitable that three drunk friends with unresolved sexual tension will play truth or dare.
Leah Raeder
#93. Why did everything beautiful come from pain?
Leah Raeder
#94. Maybe we needed to break a little, so we could put ourselves back together more beautifully than before.
Leah Raeder
#95. Hate is when you love someone but wish you didn't.
Leah Raeder
#96. No pretensions of goodness, of trying to do the right thing. We'd both wanted to embrace this fucked-up thing between us.
Leah Raeder
#97. Fuck forgiveness.
That's what they want me to do. Make it easy for them. Clear their consciences. Let them get away with what they've done.
The powerful. The strong. The privileged.
Not a fucking chance.
Leah Raeder
#98. The thought of how much happiness lay scattered across the universe, unrealized, in fragments, waiting for the right twist of fate to bring it together.
Leah Raeder
#99. I slapped a big fake smile on my face like I did every day, as a cam girl, as a barista, as anything, because women are taught to smile, that smiling means men are less likely to hurt us.
Leah Raeder
#100. If you tell a story enough times, it sounds like fiction. You don't feel that visceral throb of resonance with the person who is you, who did the things you did.
Leah Raeder
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