Top 100 Comedy Comedy Quotes
#1. I primarily have had my career in comedy, and that is something that I have never been too concerned about because I know there is really no room for vanity in comedy. Comedy comes from pain and it is a lot easier to empathize with somebody who is out of shape.
Chris Pratt
#2. I just want to continue to do comedy. Comedy, I'm discovering, is my niche. It's what I'm born to do, so I would love to have my own sitcom one day in the future.
Brandy Norwood
#3. My favorite kind of film is serious comedy. Comedy with serious underpinning.
Alan Arkin
#4. At those times I got into ... I suppose you call it a rut. I used to do comedy, comedy, comedy and I suddenly thought I ought to break away from this somehow.
Val Guest
#5. I'd have to say that my favorite kind of film is serious comedy. Comedy with serious underpinning. 'Little Miss Sunshine' is like that. That's my fave genre, if I had to pick one.
Alan Arkin
#6. You don't want to continue to do one thing and only one thing. You want to keep challenging yourself and if you do well at it, great, if you fall on your face, you tried. Like, she's really terrible at comedy! Who knew? But if you didn't try and put yourself out there you'd never know.
Lucy Liu
#7. I've always said people say on a dramatic show, 'I was crying. It was so emotional when he went and grabbed that little girl from a burning building and handed her over to her mother.' In comedy, the best thing you can say is, 'I think it's funny.'
Bob Newhart
#8. Comedy deflates the sense precisely so that the underlying lubricity and malice may bubble to the surface.
Paul Goodman
#9. Then my first film was something called Cannibal Girls, which sounds like a horror movie but was actually kind of a goofy comedy with horror elements. Like a horror spoof.
Ivan Reitman
#10. I've got a lot of nervous energy and I trip a lot. I don't have a good equilibrium. In the places where the physical comedy was necessary, it came very naturally and it was fun.
Kristen Bell
#11. The problem is that I work in more than one genre. It's impossible for me to aim for a single one because, for me, comedy is mixed with tragedy. That's very Spanish, the way in which comedy and tragedy are inextricable from each other.
Pedro Almodovar
#12. I do miss the rhythms of comedy. And I've never been able to perform very well without an audience. The sitcoms I've done had them. It was like doing a little play.
Dick Van Dyke
#13. If I had a choice, I would do comedy all the time. It's just the most challenging thing. To make someone laugh is the most challenging thing, and the most rewarding thing, in entertainment.
Bruce Willis
#14. I believe comedy should be free to go anywhere. I believe that there is tasteful and untasteful, I think they're very close to each other, and it's how you handle it tonally. But I'm an equal opportunity offender.
David Dobkin
#15. I wanted to write something that would be a comedy in the sense of making people feel happier when they finish it than they did when began it.
Neil Gaiman
#16. You wanted to show us ... a battle droid? The most incompetent droid soldier in the history of both the Republic and the Empire. A mechanical comedy of errors.
Chuck Wendig
#17. Also, my humor is really dry-witted, Canadian humor, so some people get it and some people don't. I'd be great on "The Office." I would like to be on that show. And, I could see me doing romantic comedy films, and stuff like that.
Tinsel Korey
#19. Too much comedy is filthy these days. There's nothing they won't say. I like Jimmy Carr, but I don't like the language he uses. I don't understand why he feels it necessary; I find it extremely offensive.
Bobby Davro
#20. Comedy Central was really impressed by how quickly we got everyone to sign the releases for the CD. They've never seen anything that quick.
B. J. Porter
#21. My thing was always more character-driven comedies, not sketch comedy - not that there's not room for both or one isn't enjoyable, just my personal taste, I like movies that comedy comes from out of flaws of people, things that are uncomfortable, out of tragedy.
Vince Vaughn
#22. I just always wrote songs as a side hobby. So it was sort of a natural thing to write comedy songs. But when I started writing songs, I wrote very serious songs. Or things that a 13-14 year-old would think are very serious issues.
Kyle Dunnigan
#23. We sent a troupe to Edinborough, and then in Edinborough, there was a producer from the Melbourne Comedy Festival, so we went to Melbourne. So it's one of these shows that kind of organically developed and it started developing momentum way before I even thought there was a show here.
Brian Henson
#24. I said, "Is there!" I told him there is a Mafia school where they teach them math - if Johnny has ten fingers and they cut off two, how many does he have left?
Joan Rivers
#25. I've played such serious characters that no one sees me the way I actually am, which is completely cheesy and goofy, so it would be fun to do a romantic comedy and just have a good laugh.
Laura Vandervoort
#26. My very first job was something called 'Nobody's Watching,' that Bill Lawrence who created 'Scrubs,' it was his pilot. It was my very first TV job, and it was a sitcom. Ever since that experience, I've been so itching to get back to that kind of environment and just to be involved with comedy.
Mircea Monroe
#27. The little woman, wearing a pink and black zigzag-striped pantsuit over a black turtleneck, resembled a skinny zebra who'd OD'd on Pepto-Bismol.
Vonnie Davis
#28. The story is uneven in its progression.
Ichtys
#29. I'm not a comedian, I'm not a stand-up and I don't come from a comedy background. I am an actor, but I've had a very fortunate foray into comedy, and it seems to have become a bit of a strength, and you can't complain when you become known for something.
Darren Boyd
#30. You called the guy you're supposed to rescue a nerd, and you just referenced Star Trek. You don't find that a bit nerdy?
A.J. Wiliams
#31. There's all sorts of terrible things that happen around the world. And comedy's one of those few things where you can discuss those things.
Hasan Minhaj
#32. I am a wild orchid of comedy, so I can only do well under specific conditions ... There are people who I think can do any room, and do stadiums and thousand-seat theaters, and then there are people like me who just perform for my parents.
Maria Bamford
#33. I had one friend with same-sex orientation, and Dana hadn't spoken to me since I asked her to describe her honeymoon in graphic detail - and then made vibrator noises.
Dani Alexander
#34. If I call him back here," Cooper whispered in her ear, "will you crawl up my body again?
Jill Shalvis
#36. One should not chug an entire glass of wine at an elegant dinner party. I start hacking and coughing, having practically water-boarded myself out of sheer humiliation.
Lisa Daily
#37. [Hillary Clinton] and I are fine. Are we going to be besties for the rest of our lives? No.
Claire McCaskill
#39. I think, you know, a lot of the business of comedy is taking your personal experiences and making them relatable to other people.
Kumail Nanjiani
#40. For me to make a living acting silly for as long as I can get away with it, I think the most viable way to make that happen is to evolve into more traditional comedy. I've really been putting in the work.
Steve-O
#41. Movies are designed to tell us stories, engage us on an emotional level and keep our attention. This can be done with a wide range of emotional triggers - Love, adrenaline, comedy. But fear is a highly potent sensation.
David Hayter
#42. I don't do sketch anymore and sometimes I miss it. But I think what I really miss is that time in my life, it was kind of like college. No kids, no real responsibilities, just comedy, food and late nights.
Alex Borstein
#43. This is why improvisational music and comedy is so inspiring: You are seeing something being born, and that energy, there is no substitute for. These songs, most of them, are about a minute old when you hear them.
John Darnielle
#44. Is not the decisive difference between comedy and tragedy that tragedy denies us another chance?
John Updike
#45. It's a comedy thriller, brilliantly written and it's full of twists and turns at every page. When I was reading it I was desperate to get to the end to find out what happens, it really hooks you.
Louise Jameson
#46. You can not have comedy unless people are behaving badly. You can't have it.
Keegan-Michael Key
#47. Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke.
Steve Martin
#48. There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords.
George Carlin
#49. Anyone who is considered funny will tell you, sometimes without even your asking, that deep inside they are very serious, neurotic, introspective people.
Wendy Wasserstein
#50. We are each the star of our own situation comedy, and, with luck, the screwball friend in somebody else's.
Robert Breault
#51. Writing, acting, music, comedy. A deep love of literature and books. Thank God for all the artists who've helped me.
Bill Hicks
#52. At CBS, I'm in your house. I'm mindful of that. When I do standup, you're in my home and I can say what I want to.
Craig Ferguson
#53. I enjoy comedy but it can become wearisome.
Steve Coogan
#54. My life was full of drama, with the highs and lows of Tyler's daily mood swings and my private innuendos with Vandenberg. There'd never been a movie made that could permanently shift my mood away from my disappointment with myself.
J.C. Patrick
#55. I love musical theater so much. When done right, I think comedy songs can be the most efficient form of joke delivery. Songs can be the most efficient and the best forms of conveying emotion. Music is universal. It's worldwide.
Rachel Bloom
#56. The only thing I can ever do is make a film that I can respond to. I could not make a romantic comedy for college girls. I wouldn't know how that works.
Shane Carruth
#58. It is doubtless a vice to turn one's eyes inward too much, but I am my own comedy and tragedy.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
#59. I've never directed before, so I need to make sure that people know that I can. The movie that I've written, 'The Sophisticates,' is a ... small ensemble comedy and I hope it's charming and funny.
Lena Headey
#60. We have dealt with the Arab/Muslim problem in the American media in every single way but through comedy. Hollywood has always been lagging behind comedy ... We can make fun of ourselves, too, and I'm inviting us to laugh with us - and all the misconceptions.
Bassem Youssef
#61. A Christian telling an atheist they're going to hell is as scary as a child telling an adult they're not getting any presents from Santa.
Ricky Gervais
#62. Life, I'd heard someone say, is a comedy for those who think and a tragedy for those who feel. It seemed to me that it was both at once, even for those of us who don't do much of either.
Lawrence Block
#63. Comedy is equal to stupidity. As much you are stupid as much you watch comedy as much you stupid become.
Deyth Banger
#64. If you're going to make a comedy and if your sole interest is in making people laugh and feel good and entertaining them, then you check your ego at the door.
Dwayne Johnson
#65. Nahum bobbed again. 'My crest is cropped by croaking cranes. I go to drown in doleful dumps, dead-drunk with drearihead.
John Bellairs
#66. Comedy is a universal language. I grew up watching Nagesh, Surilirajan, Thenga Srinivasan and S.V. Shekhar's comedies. And, of course, Charlie Chaplin! These artists are so blessed: they can make other people happy.
A.R. Rahman
#67. Comedy is what I really want to do and propel.
Marisa Tomei
#68. When you have satire, it has to be real. No matter how outrageous the comedy becomes, you have to believe in the characters.
Kevin Kline
#69. The old Janey only drank cheap wine and light beer. The new Janey is classy, prefers cocktails, and even drinks alone.
J.C. Patrick
#72. The household is a school of power. There, within the door, learn the tragi-comedy of human life.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
#73. I am convinced that nothing will happen to me, for I know the greatness of the task for which Providence has chosen me.
Adolf Hitler
#74. I wouldn't say that comedy brought me away from it.I think that my idea of faith was another obligation in my life.
Jim Gaffigan
#75. I'm always fighting with profanity and Christian comedy. I'm telling you, it's always a fight. Because my father said to me, he said, 'Well, Kym, I feel like comics and people that use profanity, you have a lack of vocabulary, actually, a whole lot.'
Kym Whitley
#76. He held up his hand, and in it was ...
Oh, God.
The neon-pink vibrator, glowing in the dark now. It was following her, stalking her, all the way down the yellow brick road to hell.
Jill Shalvis
#77. In the beginning of my career, all I did was drama, and I couldn't get arrested doing comedy; nobody would hire me!
Tisha Campbell-Martin
#78. I feel as if I could be any thing or every thing, as if I could rant and storm, or sigh, or cut capers in any tragedy or comedy in the English language.
Jane Austen
#79. Never second guess yourself. Or do, maybe. Whatever you feel good about.
Dan Florence
#80. I'm writing a political comedy that takes place in Canada in Quebec. It's funny. Saying political comedy is a little redundant but it's a first. I've never done any comedy per se.
Philippe Falardeau
#81. Primarily, I am a prose writer with axes to grind, and the theatre is a good place to do the grinding in. I prefer comedy to 'serious' drama because I believe one can get the ax sharper on the comedic stone.
Gore Vidal
#82. I would love to do some crazy action or even a real romantic comedy. I think that would be really exciting.
Jillian Murray
#83. I did stand-up comedy for 18 years. Ten of those years were spent learning, four years were spent refining, and four years were spent in wild success. I was seeking comic originality, and fame fell on me as a byproduct. The course was more plodding than heroic.
Steve Martin
#84. Hollywood wanted a certain type of comic - that Def Jam comedy style of comic that was very loud, very brash, very much from the ghetto, had that sensibility.
Larry Wilmore
#85. Black Comedy is a farce that is played in the dark, as you know, with the lights full on. It's the Chinese convention of reversing light and dark, and exactly where anybody is at any given moment is the play.
Peter Shaffer
#86. I was doing stand-up at a restaurant and there was a chalkboard on the street out front. It said, Soup of the Day: Cream of Asparagus. Ellen DeGeneres.
Ellen DeGeneres
#87. I think I enlist comedy to a serious purpose.
Tom Stoppard
#88. Comedy is just one of the many professions that women are taking over.
Natasha Leggero
#90. Mum just laughed gleefully at his mounting frustration, like the villainous matriarch in a Roald Dahl story. I suspect a TV guide would describe her idea of comedy as 'dark', or, at very best, 'alternative'.
Matthew Crow
#91. As an author I'm in my head all day and I worry that I lose touch with reality. But then my dog pees on my shoe and I know I've found it again.
Michelle M. Pillow
#92. Adult Swim has cornered this really cool market, especially for comedy shows.
Paul Scheer
#93. Dealing with sketch comedy and buddy teams like Abbott and Costello, Bob Hope and Bing Crosby - I just loved buddy comedies.
Drake Bell
#94. Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing. We set no styles, no standards. We're reflections. It's a distorted mirror in the fun house. We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.
Alan King
#95. Everyone who has ever met me for at least five minutes knows I'm a really funny person. I love to laugh and to make people laugh, so writing comedy comes naturally to me.
Simone Elkeles
#96. I keep doing specials because I think there are a lot of people who make movies and TV who are fans of comedy - if they start to like you, they'll get a project going and call you in.
Bill Burr
#97. Oh yeah, well I suddenly realises that she'd only been with my boyfriend at the Co-op Christmas do when I were eighteen. So I grabs her head and I stuck it through a display of them Muller's rices and I told her. That's for shagging Kevin Cooper you stupid fucking cunt.
St John Morris
#98. I pride myself on being the guy who can do Def Comedy Jam and Charlie Rose. And do well on both.
Chris Rock
#99. HELEN HAYES: "Which part of The Divine Comedy do you like the most, Tiziano?"
TIZIANO CONTI: "The fifth Canto."
HELEN HAYES: "The Hell, huh?"
TIZIANO CONTI: "L'inferno depicts the truth.
Merce Cardus
#100. When you're doing an out-and-out comedy, the notion of preparing for a character - I hope I don't reveal too much of myself here - but, uh, no, I'm not doing anything.
Will Ferrell
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