Top 63 Natasha Leggero Quotes
#2. I think how tan a person is, is directly proportionate to how dumb they are.
Natasha Leggero
#3. Bragging that you had sex with a prostitute is like bragging that you got Doritos out of a vending machine.
Natasha Leggero
#4. Doing TV is great, but TV is for starring on, not for watching.
Natasha Leggero
#5. Guys should not be allowed to use the Internet all day long. So sad.
Natasha Leggero
#6. There's something grounded about 'Ugly Americans,' so I think it's good that I'm playing a version of myself in these elevated cartoon circumstances.
Natasha Leggero
#7. Comedy is just one of the many professions that women are taking over.
Natasha Leggero
#8. There are some die-hard 'Chelsea Lately' fans, and that's where the majority of my fans come from. Chelsea is really helping make comedy audiences hipper and edgier.
Natasha Leggero
#11. Why does every flight attendant seem like they are going through a divorce?
Natasha Leggero
#12. My friends who have babies can't do anything. You can't go out at night. Having a baby is like a DUI from the universe.
Natasha Leggero
#13. I don't think I ever wore pants on 'Reno 911!' and I was on it about five times.
Natasha Leggero
#14. I was raised Catholic in Rockford, Illinois. But I'm not a practicing Catholic anymore. Oh God, no.
Natasha Leggero
#15. I have friends who say, 'You just can't understand what it's like to be a mother until you're a mother.'
Natasha Leggero
#16. What's great about stand-up is that you can say whatever you want and go around the country, and sometimes the world, and work on it and see how people react. You don't need Standards & Practices or notes from lawyers or producers to tell you what's funny.
Natasha Leggero
#17. There are different types of art, and you just have to follow where things take you. It helps me with my desire to perform live. That's something that a lot of actors and actresses don't get to experience on a regular basis.
Natasha Leggero
#19. I always wanted so much glamour in my life, so I have always been obsessed with class, and from dating a few people who were from old money and a few from new money in my 20s, I just sort of became obsessed with this idea of clueless rich people.
Natasha Leggero
#20. I grew up as a child actress, not a child star. I was an actress - big difference.
Natasha Leggero
#21. If Jesus had known that his image would end up on Justin Bieber's calf, he would've never started Christianity.
Natasha Leggero
#22. Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing.
Natasha Leggero
#23. All these rappers on stage and Martha Stewart has done the most jail time.
Natasha Leggero
#24. My comedy isn't about being attractive - it's about how the bar of dumb seems so low right now, and I desperately want to raise the bar of dumb just a tiny bit.
Natasha Leggero
#25. Lovin this Ghost Ghirls! It was great to get to play a madame not just a boring prostitute.
Natasha Leggero
#26. The waiters in France could all be senators in the US.
Natasha Leggero
#27. Anything you can do to get more people to come to your live shows is good, because that's where you can really do what you do. Everyone's on the same page, and you don't have to win strangers over as much.
Natasha Leggero
#28. You can always tell an actor by the bored look in their eye whenever someone else is talking.
Natasha Leggero
#29. If you look at NBC, two of their most successful shows - '30 Rock' and 'Parks And Rec' - are written by women, produced by women, and I think that's the future. Women are the new men.
Natasha Leggero
#30. In L.A., you tend to see a lot of people do very bizarre things. I love it.
Natasha Leggero
#31. College seems like a pretty expensive way to become an alcoholic.
Natasha Leggero
#34. Coming from the Midwest, I didn't know about stand-up as an art. I just thought stand-up comedians were old men in suits talking about their wives.
Natasha Leggero
#35. James Franco, acting, teaching, directing, writing, producing, photography, soundtracks, editing - is there anything you can do?
Natasha Leggero
#36. Pop culture, it's crazy. There's all this violence in video games. In 'Call of Duty,' people are literally just blowing other people up. Hey, let's protect your country from your couch while eating your sandwich.
Natasha Leggero
#37. Gluten free pizza elicits the same response at a hollywood party that a pile of cocaine did in the 80's.
Natasha Leggero
#38. When I was 23, I moved to Australia to be with this 43-year-old con artist I fell in love with.
Natasha Leggero
#39. The only thing that makes me cry at weddings is the DJ's playlist.
Natasha Leggero
#40. I wish his music came out of the closet and admit that it sucks.
Natasha Leggero
#41. I love hard punch lines, and I like anything that has a strong point of view.
Natasha Leggero
#42. I just went home to Illinois, and I asked my family, 'Are you guys planning on talking in those accents the whole time I'm home?' And my mother said, 'You used to talk like that, too, Tasha.' And I said, 'Yes, but you see, I've reinvented myself. Do you have any idea who I think I am?'
Natasha Leggero
#43. I'm not saying Martha Stewart is old, but she needs a new Walker more than the 'Fast and Furious' franchise.
Natasha Leggero
#44. I was very lucky when I started doing comedy because I hadn't seen much stand-up. I just got up on stage and did it without thinking.
Natasha Leggero
#45. Getting worried there might not be enough talent in America to acommodate all these singing shows.
Natasha Leggero
#46. For comedians, we're all kind of tweeting our thoughts instead of spending time developing them. You can gauge how good a joke might be by how many times it gets retweeted, but it takes discipline to go back through the tweets and then develop jokes from them.
Natasha Leggero
#47. How are you gonna make an 'idol' from the type of person you're trying to avoid in real life?
Natasha Leggero
#48. Your main contribution is spray painting your nickname on other people's things. And my cousin, who's a 'gangster', he's like, 'No, Tash, you don't understand; you throw a fat piece up there, that piece is yours.' I'm like, 'No one thinks you own Costco.'
Natasha Leggero
#49. Have you ever noticed that your ugliest friend is the most afraid of getting ruffied? It's like relax. YOU can take the coaster off your drink. There are at least three of us in line ahead of you.
Natasha Leggero
#50. The idea that you're supposed to do everything on your own is absurd. You can't.
Natasha Leggero
#51. I do think people are definitely sick of the Kardashians.
Natasha Leggero
#52. The chasm between rich and poor is becoming larger, and I think it's interesting terrain to talk about and expose.
Natasha Leggero
#53. The more developed your abs, the less time you've spent reading.
Natasha Leggero
#54. My dream part would be to play Mitt Romney's sarcastic black maid. We could call it 'Mammy & Me.'
Natasha Leggero
#55. Male comics are always coming up to me and they're like 'Hey Natasha. Don't you think you're a little attractive to be a comedian?' and I'm like 'Don't you think you're a little ugly to be talking to me?'
Natasha Leggero
#56. Have you heard his new song? 'Cause he thinks he's a black man now.
Natasha Leggero
#57. Justin's fan are called Beliebers because it's politically incorrect to use the word retards.
Natasha Leggero
#58. I'm not 'one of the guys.' I don't want to pretend to be one on stage. I'm not going to dress like a guy or carry myself like one.
Natasha Leggero
#59. Often when you are starting out in comedy, you will find that people will laugh at the things you didn't think were funny. It's important to pay attention also to what people are laughing at when you are just talking in regular conversation. Often that is when you are truly being yourself.
Natasha Leggero
#62. The corporations are shoving just the worst music down everybody's throats, and I think the result of that is that nobody has any taste. They have no bar as to what is good.
Natasha Leggero
#63. Make a sex tape, upload it, get on a reality show, release a perfume, retire. That's the new American dream.
Natasha Leggero
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