Top 100 Bumper Quotes
#1. I hate bumper stickers, you can't sum anything up. All you do is paint yourself in some caricaturist corner.
David Cross
#2. My other car is a vehicle with a bumper sticker describing this car.
Damien Fahey
#3. But this wasn't a safe, controlled environment I was learning in. There were no bumper lanes to keep my ball out of the gutter.
Ransom Riggs
#4. The car bumper sticker for the discerning Sydney motorist, 'Is it true, or did Alan Jones tell you?', should be letter-boxed around the country.
Kerry-Anne Walsh
#5. Anyone who has ever been privileged to direct a film also knows that, although it can be like trying to write 'War and Peace' in a bumper car in an amusement park, when you finally get it right, there are not many joys in life that can equal the feeling.
Stanley Kubrick
#6. Some travelers collect souvenirs, postcards, or bumper stickers; I bring home a pencil from the various places I visit.
Michael Dirda
#7. I can suck the chrome off a bumper and leave the car still standing. In other words, I am sexually gifted, a hero among gay men.
J.P. Barnaby
#8. Genius has its limitations.
Insanity ... not so much -Bumper Sticker
Darynda Jones
#9. Miami drivers have long ago take the simple chore of going from one place to another and turned it into a kind of high-speed, heavily armed game of high-stakes bumper cars.
Jeff Lindsay
#10. We have an uncanny ability to make birds do what we want them to do. In Blood Simple there's a shot from the bumper of a car and it's going up this road and a huge flock of birds takes off at the perfect moment.
Joel Coen
#11. When I was in high school, a popular bumper sticker boasted, "Jesus is my Copilot." I suppose that meant Jesus was there to help them when they got into a jam. How backwards. If Jesus is your copilot, somebody is in the wrong seat. It's His car, and we stole it.
J.D. Greear
#12. California produces 40% of America's fresh fruits, vegetables and nuts - the kind you eat. We have had a bumper crop of the other variety, too.
Ronald Reagan
#13. And yet we have brave men and women who are willing to step forward because they know what's at stake. They're willing to sacrifice their lives for this great country. What I'm asking all of you tonight is not to put on a uniform. Put on a bumper sticker.
Rick Santorum
#14. 'Cold Case Files' and similar shows do bang up business, which points to a certain thirst for details in the viewership, but it seems like all the news chat shows continue to force the myth that Americans can't stand detail and have no interest in an idea that can't fit on a bumper sticker.
Hal Sparks
#15. Supporting the troops has got to mean more than bumper stickers on pickup trucks, my friends. We need to give them what they need.
Solomon Ortiz
#16. You don't change the world by hiding in the woods, wearing a hair shirt, or buying indulgences in the form of 'Save the Earth' bumper stickers. You do it by articulating a vision for the future and pursuing it with all the ingenuity humanity can muster.
Alex Steffen
#17. I'm not all that big on rides. I sort of like bumper cars but I don't really go to Disneyland all that much unless if have nieces and nephews or people to take.
Anjelica Huston
#18. I mean, without the antagonist, there would be no story! It'd be like: 'Once upon a time there was a girl who wanted to be loved, so she met a prince and got married and lived Happily Ever After, The End'? That's not a story; that's a bumper sticker.
Shannon Hale
#19. Tramp stamp. A tattoo in the center of a woman's lower back. Also referred to as a "California bumper sticker." The germans refer to this as "arschgeweih," which translates as "ass antler." Bravo!
Jeff Johnson
#20. Sure, society understands visible shackles-- they get the symbolism of the wheelchair, of prosthetics, of a bumper sticker reading disabled veteran, but they still struggle for comprehension of the profound, invisible shackles that an illness such as [Chronic Fatigue] puts on a person's body.
Peggy Munson
#21. If you fear you've written too many checks on God's kindness account, drag regrets around like a broken bumper, huff and puff more than you delight and rest, and, most of all, if you wonder whether God can do something with the mess of your life, then grace is what you need.
Max Lucado
#22. I'm one of those who believe the bumper sticker: If you outlaw guns, only outlaws will have guns. The first people who are going to be in line to turn in their guns are law-abiding citizens. Criminals are going to be left with guns.
Gary Johnson
#23. My tattoo is of a cannon in Vancouver that I got in a fleeting moment of stupidity maybe 14 years ago. A lot of people have really beautiful tattoos, and I get real tattoo envy. But then other people basically just treat them like bumper stickers for their bodies.
Ryan Reynolds
#24. I'm so ready you could drive a truck straight up my ass and I would bend over and push back until it was in to the rear bumper.
Cameron Dane
#25. A prosthetic leg with a Willie Nelson bumper sticker washed ashore on the beach, which meant it was Florida.
Then it got weird.
Tim Dorsey
#26. I have a bumper sticker that Bowen created that says Regardless of my kids grades, they have an 'A' in my book'. Without play the child that still lives in all of us will always be incomplete. And not only physically, but creatively, intellectually, and spiritually as well.
George A. Sheehan
#27. If you're such a shallow person that a goddamn bumper sticker can sum up your beliefs, then Jesus Christ, are you even worth fighting for in the end?
Jason Myers
#28. The only decoration on the gray segments of her cubicle was a bumper sticker, AT LEAST THE WAR ON THE ENVIRONMENT IS GOING WELL. Her colleagues' cubicles were covered with photos
Jonathan Franzen
#29. The favourite bumper sticker in Washington D.C. right now is one that says 'First Iraq, then France'
Tom Brokaw
#30. Whirlyball is only the most awesome sport on the planet! It's like bumper cars plus lacrosse meets basketball.
St. Vincent
#31. Good places for aphorisms: in fortune cookies, on bumper stickers, and on banners flying over the Palace of Free Advice.
Mason Cooley
#32. One thing I learned in sobriety is to stop being judgmental, to always be discerning. When I drive, that will be my bumper sticker.
Kevin Sessums
#33. The Hillary team is driving around in a van. Sometimes people get those gag bumper stickers put on their van. Hillary has one on her van, and it says, 'If this van's rockin', I'm deleting emails.'
David Letterman
#34. I love children, but I don't think I can eat a whole one.- Bumper sticker
Darynda Jones
#35. Sometimes I wrestle my demons. Sometimes we just snuggle. - BUMPER STICKER
Darynda Jones
#36. [Jesus] said that they will know we are Christians - not by our bumper stickers and T-shirts - but by our love.
Shane Claiborne
#37. Yeah, but what happens if life hands me pickles? - Bumper sticker
Darynda Jones
#38. If you are explaining, you're losing. It's a bumper sticker culture. People have to get it like that, and if they don't, if it takes three seconds to make them understand, you're off their radar screen. Three seconds to understand, or you lose. This is our problem.
Lawrence Lessig
#39. I had a dream about you. You were on a bike going 70 miles an hour, I could see you approaching my car in the mirror. You were trying to say something so, I jumped on the brakes as hard as I could, I guess I forgot I had tied your bike on my bumper.
Georgia Saratsioti
#40. We should just get somebody from the left and the right and they should all throw bumper stickers at each other and the first one to cover the other one wins.
David Cross
#41. Only a writer would slap a bumper sticker on her car that read, 'Seriously, I'd rather be working'.
Richelle E. Goodrich
#42. A Nuns Life: Chastity, poverty, and obedience. Wait, chastity? BUMPER STICKER
Darynda Jones
#43. A Pennsylvania woman convicted for shoplifting was sentenced to wear a badge that reads "Convicted Shoplifter." However, her lawyers hope to plea bargain down to a bumper sticker reading "I'd Rather Be Stealing!.
Jimmy Fallon
#44. If I had to sum up my philosophy of fuckness in a few words so I could cram it on a bumper sticker or t-shirt, those were the words I would have chosen: "Fuck it.
Andersen Prunty
#45. I have a very dear family and very dear friends. They're my rock. These are people who knew me from the beginning, you know, as a loser in a 1972 Dodge Dart with the bumper literally duct-taped to the body.
Mark Ruffalo
#46. Myself, I have never seen a bumper sticker saying " Hate if you Love Jesus ", but I sometimes wonder why not. It would be a good slogan for the religious Right.
Simon Blackburn
#47. Hard work will never kill you; it's only going to make you gain more muscles to gather your bumper harvests! Do it and do it hard!
Israelmore Ayivor
#48. Much of John Kerry's recent surge has come at the expense of Howard Dean. The situation reflected in his hot new bumper sticker, 'Dated Dean, Married Kerry.' It's cute and a lot more tasteful than the alternative version, 'Dated Dean, Married Kerry, Finger-Banged Kucinich.'
Jon Stewart
#49. I must confess, when I see anyone with an Obama 2012 bumper sticker, I recognize them as a threat to the gene pool.
Allen West
#50. some student who'd been caught putting bumper stickers that said 'Gas Guzzler' on every SUV in the parking lot.
Katie Alender
#51. President Obama's version of America is a divided one - pitting us against each other based on our income level, gender, and social status. His policies have failed! We are not better off than we were 4 years ago, and no rhetoric, bumper sticker, or campaign ad can change that.
Mia Love
#52. The Confederate flag is one of those things that should only be seen on t-shirts, belt buckles and bumper stickers to help the rest of us identify the worst people in the world.
John Oliver
#53. Five police cars were parked in the yard, two drawn up nose-to-nose behind the car's back bumper, as if the cops expected the big gray sedan to start up by itself, like that old Plymouth in the horror movie, and make a run for it.
Stephen King
#54. A great principle of moral advancement, on par with "Love thy neighbor" and "All men are created equal," is the one on the bumper sticker: "Shit happens.
Steven Pinker
#55. Hook up with us and see a quick return on your premiums.' I like it, Sammy. Think we can fit it on a bumper sticker? (Dean)
Jeff Mariotte
#56. Enough Americans saw fit to give president Obama a second term. I don't think there will be many people keeping their Romney/Ryan bumper stickers on their cars.
Henry Rollins
#57. Mom was adamantly pro-choice. She had a bumper sticker on the car that read If you can't trust me with a choice, how can you trust me with a child? But in her case the choice was to keep me.
Gayle Forman
#58. Their bumper sticker read GUN CONTROL IS MIND CONTROL. In situations like this, you want to stick close to people in right-wing fringe groups.
Don DeLillo
#59. The damn hawker nearly caught the bumper." More amazed than angry now, Eve shook her head. "A guy in air boots nearly outran a cop ride. What's the world coming to, Peabody?" Eyes stubbornly shut, Peabody didn't move a muscle. "I'm sorry, sir, you're interrupting my praying.
J.D. Robb
#60. I had a bumper sticker on my car for a long time that said, "Kill your television." People helpfully pointed out that I was a total fraud because I was a television writer.
George Meyer
#61. You want to know whether we're better off? I've got a little bumper sticker for you: Osama bin Laden is dead and General Motors is alive. Osama bin Laden is dead and General Motors is alive! Osama bin Laden is dead and General Motors is alive!
Joe Biden
#62. Alex," Madison says through clenched teeth, "if you keep talking in bumper stickers, I am going to stab you in the face.
Katie Crouch
#63. I swear to God, after the zombie apocalypse the only thing left on the planet will be cockroaches and Moose," I told Mom one night after she managed to back into a light pole at the restaurant and drive away with not even a dent in the bumper.
Mom shushed me at the time. "He'll hear you!
Katie Klein
#64. For once Yancy didn't mind driving to Miami. Dr. Rosa Campesino had agreed to meet for lunch. On the Eighteen-Mile Stretch he got stuck behind a minivan with a CHOOSE LIFE bumper sticker. "Choose the accelerator! How's that for starters?" Yancy was shouting, pounding on the horn.
Carl Hiaasen
#65. There are a lot of things that fit on a bumper sticker in terms of either liberty or equality or progress that when made more concrete just don't pan out.
Laurence Tribe
#66. Just as I never liked bumper stickers - even though I do brake for animals, and if I had a kid, she would definitely be an honor student - I don't like the idea of expressing my views through social-media-controlled rainbow-or-anything-else-ification.
Meghan Daum
#67. IF IT HAS TIRES OR TESTICLES, IT'S GONNA GIVE YOU TROUBLE. - BUMPER STICKER
Darynda Jones
#68. How ironic is it to see a bumper sticker that says 'Jesus is the answer' next to a bumper sticker supporting the war in Iraq, as if to says 'Jesus is the answer - but not in the real world.
Shane Claiborne
#69. Emma pursed her lips thoughtfully. "Okay, here's a really bad analogy for you. Aidan is like the Indy 500 of Sex, and I need someone who is more - "
"Bumper cars?" Casey asked.
"I was going to say the slow lane, smartass.
Katie Ashley
#70. A lot of people don't like bumper stickers. I don't mind bumper stickers. To me a bumper sticker is a shortcut. It's like a little sign that says 'Hey, let's never hang out.'
Demetri Martin
#71. I bet you've seen the fundamentalist bumper sticker that says, "God said it! I believe it! That settles it!" It must be a typo because what the driver really means is, "I said it! God believes it! That settles it!
Robert M. Price
#72. We're being sold a brand new idea of patriotism. It never occurred to me that patriotism had to be advertised. Patriotism is something you deeply felt. You didn't have to wear it on your lapel or show it in your window or on a bumper sticker. That kind of patriotism does not appeal to me at all.
Sam Shepard
#73. Know who you are, then you can know where you can be! Choose your environment wisely; but be sure you know your dreams at first! When your dream seeds fall onto the soil with the best environmental factor, you will have a bumper harvest!
Israelmore Ayivor
#74. I just ordered a Life Alert bracelet, so if I get a life, I'll be notified immediately. - BUMPER STICKER I
Darynda Jones
#75. Kinect is such a great new entry into the field because it takes away one of the big barriers to little kids to playing a game, which is the controller. You can't hand a basic video game controller to a child and expect them to understand what a left bumper is and to click in the right stick.
Tim Schafer
#76. Because appearing to be fair is part of being fair, most mainstream news organizations discourage marching for causes, displaying political bumper stickers or giving cash to candidates.
Bill Dedman
#77. If my mother were a bumper sticker, she would read THAT'S NOT APPROPRIATE. Taylor's mom would read WHY THE F*** NOT?
Natasha Friend
#78. I am not sleeping with him." I shot him a poisonous glare. "If I had a bumper sticker, it would read, 'Demon slayer, not demon layer.' " "Your mouth says no, but your cleavage says yes.
Rob Thurman
#79. I don't much believe in bumper sticker characterizations of foreign policy.
John Bolton
#80. I saw a great bumper sticker that read: 'Do something that scares you every day.' That really stuck with me. I try to live like that.
Janice Tanton
#81. Sitting on my stool I thought of a bumper sticker: If Mean People Suck, Why Isn't My Dick In Your Mouth?
Paul Neilan
#82. Here's a bumper sticker I'd like to see: We are the proud parents of a child who's self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn't need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.
George Carlin
#83. What bothered me most, though, was that I couldn't fix anything. I couldn't control anything. It was like driving a bumper car without a steering wheel. I kept getting slammed, and I just had to sit there and hold on tight.
Katherine Applegate
#84. This is the age of the new tolerance and it is producing a bumper crop of anti-Christian and anti-American sentiment.
Josh McDowell
#86. I've heard that before. Seen it on a bumper sticker.
Carolyn Spear
#87. No, not in a creepy way. I am anti-incest. It says so on my bumper sticker.
Laurel Ulen Curtis
#88. Dina listens to conservative talk radio, belongs to a fundamentalist Christian church, and has a "Guns don't kill people - abortion clinics do" bumper sticker on her car.
Christina Baker Kline
#89. the truck. Yael was waiting at the front bumper, and as he came up to her, a sheriff's patrol car turned off the road and onto the track and accelerated toward them. Virgil said to Yael, "He's been shot, but he'll live. For the time being, anyway. He says he doesn't know anything
John Sandford
#90. You might be a redneck if your bumper sticker says, My other car is a combine.
Jeff Foxworthy
#91. If god is watching us,
the least we can do is be entertaining.
BUMPER STICKER
Darynda Jones
#92. I like the bumper sticker that reads, "Christians aren't perfect, just forgiven." But that does not give us license to live below God's standard.
Billy Graham
#93. With a lightning quick glance at me first, he reads one bumper sticker: Member: BBB. Boys in Books are Better?
Anne Eliot
#94. GOD GIVES US ONLY WHAT WE CAN HANDLE. APPARENTLY, GOD THINKS I'M A BADASS. - BUMPER STICKER
Darynda Jones
#95. We have branded Jesus beyond recognition. Church has become a business. Jesus is our marketing scheme. We create bookstores, T-shirts, bracelets, bumper stickers, and board games all in the name of Jesus.
Jefferson Bethke
#97. There was a car in front of me driving all conservatively, and then, lo and behold, I saw that he had a Romney bumper sticker.
Gregor Collins
#98. My parents are apolitical - no bumper stickers, no yard signs. They don't talk about politics.
Joel Burns
#99. A group called Draft Biden 2016 has started selling bumper stickers that say 'I'm ridin' with Biden.' It's a lot better than the other one that women around the White House have started using - 'I'm hidin' from Biden.'
Jimmy Fallon
#100. Life is a bumper car arena. Drive the hell out of it until the man at the control panel turns your car off.
S.A. Hunt
