Top 65 About Sarcasm Quotes
#1. You see, that is the sad, sorry, terrible thing about sarcasm.
It's really funny.
Brandon Sanderson
#2. Okay, can you pass yourself off as a magician and gain Gerald's trust and pass us information about Celeste's plans and save all the magicians who want to be saved? Jaime asked. Because if so awesome. I shall stay here and eat pie.
Sarah Rees Brennan
#3. The first time Calypso came to check on [Leo], it was to complain about the noise.
"Smoke and fire," she said. "Clanging on metal all day long. You're scaring away the birds!"
"Oh, no, not the birds!
Rick Riordan
#4. I was planning to end this phase after a few weeks, but after one particular meeting, the lead advisor asked me not to come back. She said she'd noticed that every time I was asked to give a suggestion about an ex-husband to a grieving divorcee, I always said, You should have him murdered.
Whitney Gracia Williams
#5. You can't drive them around in the getaway van.' 'How about we don't call it the getaway van? People might get suspicious.' 'So what should we call it?' 'How about the van?' 'It doesn't change what it is and that it's a shitty thing to do. Someone might see them in it.
Cath Crowley
#6. I have my own views about Nature's methods, though I feel that it is rather like a beetle giving his
Arthur Conan Doyle
#7. Yes. Reyn is our resident horse master. He has an excellent seat."
I grinned. "I've noticed."
Reyn's face tightened and Nell flushed, looking embarrassed. "It's an equestrian term."
"Really? I thought you were talking about his ass.
Cate Tiernan
#8. Any game plan? Xypher asked Sin.
Don't die.
I like it. Simple, bold. Impossible. Works for me.
Kat scoffed at his sarcasm. What are you bitching about, Xypher? You're already dead.
He laughed. You know, for once, it's good to be me.
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#9. If your career doesn't work out, write a book about it.
Marcy Sheiner
#10. Nina was about to snap that she didn't appreciate the sarcasm when she saw the expression on his face. He looked like someone had just given him a tuba full of puppies.
Leigh Bardugo
#11. The only thing that's fair about me is the colour of my hair. People should remember that.
James McClure
#12. I knew it was beautiful, but knowing something is beautiful and caring about it are two very different things, and I didn't care.
Maureen Johnson
#13. The inextinguishable lesbian spark. You've surely heard about it? The one that was first ignited at Lesbos, because Sappho was so sad every time a young woman left the academy that she wrote her a poem. Fancy being sad because someone leaves! Perverted, that's what I call it. Don't you?
Gerd Brantenberg
#14. Is my life, by any chance, about to take a new turn?
Jonas Jonasson
#15. He'd been given an assignment to write about teen beauty pageants [ ... ], which he'd accepted because he enjoyed blood sports as much as the next person.
David Baldacci
#16. I am Captain Dakkan. I am in charge of this facility."
"Captain Dakkan," Ryan repeated. "It's good to meet you. I've heard ... well ... nothing about you ...
William L. Lavell
#17. I stood for almost an hour in a line of shuffling, bitter - eyed late mailers (Christmas is such a carefree, low - pressure time - that's one of the things I love about it), ...
Stephen King
#19. How many kids are in the Graveyard?"
"A bunch."
"Who sends your supplies?"
"George Washington. Or is it Abraham Lincoln? I forget."
"How often do you receive new arrivals?"
"About as often as you beat your wife.
Neal Shusterman
#20. If you 're serious about getting it on again, be sure to give me some advance notice, so I can grab my appointment calendar and block out three minutes.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
#21. Most wives fuck their husbands, just to ensure financial support. Marriage is just a form of legalized prostitution, when you really thought about it.
K. Syrah
#22. Iko was forced to bite her tongue, allowing her programmed instincts, the instincts she'd spent her life trying to keep buried while she learned about humor and sarcasm and affection, to keep her expressionless.
Marissa Meyer
#23. What is your collective GPA for this year?"
"Not as high as I'd like it to be."
Freud steepled his fingers in front of his mouth. "What about your parents?"
"I don't know. They haven't been in school for a while.
Nenia Campbell
#24. One comforting thing about the Trump White House is that you aren't forced to choose between malice and incompetence.
Garry Kasparov
#25. I realize you're planning on fighting all the dragons single-handedly-"
"I'm going to protect you from John, dammit. Show him that he can't fucking mess with you. This is about territory."
Tom narrowed his eyes. "Are you going to piss a circle around me too?"
"If that's what it takes.
S.E. Jakes
#26. Will suspected Jem was in fact cleverer than he was himself - but he lacked Will's tendency to assume the absolute worst about people and proceed from there.
Cassandra Clare
#27. Ove looks at the group assembled around him, as if he's been kidnapped and taken to a parallel universe. For a moment he thinks about swerving off the road, until he realises that the worst case scenario would be that they all accompanied him into the afterlife.
Fredrik Backman
#28. Most of the people you read about being turned meet vamps in clubs or over the Internet ... Ew, did you ... ?"
"Yes, I met a vampire on the Internet, went to his evil love den, and let him turn me, because I'm that brainless.
Molly Harper
#29. It is time to buddle (scrub in water) all that is not illutile (unwash-awayable). Baudelaire said that humans were deluded if they thought they could wash away all their spots with vile tears, but Baudelaire was French and therefore knew nothing about hygiene or shower gel.
Mark Forsyth
#30. Thinking I'm a moron gives people something to feel smug about," Charles Wallace said. "Why should I disillusion them?
Madeleine L'Engle
#32. It's kind of depressing, if you think about it. I mean, me being so young, and yet so cynical and suspicious.
Meg Cabot
#33. Was Philip Dexter upset?"
"He's telephoned the office every day."
She was pleased about that. "Who else was upset?"
"Everybody. Roosevelt orderded an hour of silence while you were on the table. Like Armistice Day.
Rose Franken
#35. Listen, Peaches, trickery is what humans are all about," said the voice of Maurice. "They're so keen on tricking one another all the time that they elect governments to do it for them.
Terry Pratchett
#36. Varyk's deadly gaze turned brittle. 'You really don't want to take that tone with me.' Dev crossed his arms over his chest. 'Well, I do have several others we can choose from. Contemptuous. Angry. Snide. Aggravated. How about I just settle on extreme sarcasm and we call it even?
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#37. [about a hat]
You can put it on and say, Hey you, person without a hat! I've got something you don't! How did I get it? Probably by being worth more to society.
Alice LeGrow
#38. What could I possibly be mad about?' The sarcasm was thick enough to eat with a spoon.
Laurell K. Hamilton
#39. Well after that testosterone-shattering experience, I have no more dignity to worry about. Ever. Anyone have a cushion I can sit on? A really big fluffy one? Hell, let's even make it pale pink with bows on it just for good measure.
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#40. You really don't want to take that tone with me. (Varyk) Well, I do have several others we can choose from. Contemptuous. Angry. Snide. Aggravated. How about I just settle on extreme sarcasm and we call it even? (Dev)
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#41. You seem to know a lot about it," she said. "And you do subtleties."
"Yeah. Like I've always wanted to destroy the Nine Worlds while committing suicide."
"Well, there's no need to be rude," protested Sif.
Joanne Harris
#42. Civilization is held together by duct tape and spit, and I'm worried about the duct tape.
Jacqueline Patricks
#43. Strange though it is,Sarov still cares about you. He told me to leave you alone. But I think, this time, I must disobey the general. You are mine! And I intend to make you suffer ... "
"Just talking to you makes me suffer," Alex said.
Anthony Horowitz
#45. Don't worry about it; only worry about how people like her breed.
Gasmaskman
#46. Can I ask who you are, sir?"
"Yeah, I expect so," said Strike, walking past him and ringing the doorbell. Anstis's dinner invitation notwithstanding, he was not feeling sympathetic to the police just now. "Should be just about within your capabilities.
Robert Galbraith
#47. But the people only talked about how ugly her face looked. No one even bothered to mention what a sweet, kindhearted girl she was. Now, don't be amazed! That is just the nature of humans, to notice the one flaw among a person's ten good qualities.
Janaki Sooriyarachchi
#48. She decided to make his life as terrible, tragic and complicated as possible, so that some day Percy Jackson would have a really hard time writing about it.
Rick Riordan
#49. Uh, yeah - how about a warm hell no to that request? Does that work for you? Because it works for me.
Tahereh Mafi
#50. Women do not lie about their age. In fact, no woman ever has, its just that memory is the first thing to go.
David C. Holley
#51. What's not to like about you? Sure, you have more sarcasm per square inch than any other mammal.
Piper Lawson
#52. How do you feel about women's rights? I like either side of them.
Groucho Marx
#53. Past misdeeds must only serve as a reference point in calm conversation about lessons learned or actions that taught us to behave better. They should never be bantered about with sarcasm, anger, or nastiness.
Cathy Burnham Martin
#54. Well, OK then." He narrowed his eyes. "How about you? Do you have any ... romances I should know about?"
"Nope. Not one."
"Well, good. Excellent. There'll be plenty of time for boys when you leave college and become a nun."
She smiled. "I'm glad you have such ambitious dreams for me.
Derek Landy
#55. I know men laugh about this. About being pussy-whipped. About panting like a dog after a girl. About wanting a woman more than you want to want her. I don't fucking care. They can keep their sarcasm. I'll take the girl.
Katy Evans
#56. My job is not to talk smack about anything. This is why I dislike strongly doing magazine articles: My personality does not translate to print. People don't read it as sarcasm, and it just comes off badly.
Sandra Bullock
#57. I don't know about your true form, but the weight of your ego sure is pushing the crust of the earth toward the breaking point.
Jim Butcher
#58. Your testing my patience here, duchess," he growled. "If you have any doubt about my ability to fuck the ever-loving sarcasm right out of you, I'll be more than happy to clear it up.
Tessa Bailey
#59. I don't know what it is about "magic happens"-stickers on cars but every time I see one I wanna get out my permanent marker and sneak over and write underneath it "so does cot death".
Tim Minchin
#60. Hi, I'm Dick," I said.
"Yeah, I've heard that about you.
Mindi Scott
#61. Kishan stretched out his hand and touched and earring lightly. His rakish pirate about-to-make-off-with-your-woman-and-what-do-you-think-you're-gonna-do-about-it look melted away to a soft smile that turned up the corner of his mouth.
Colleen Houck
#62. I have no doubt that they'll tell you a lot of kind things about me when my back is turned. They may not have been behind the door when God passed out the pretty faces, but Heaven only knows where they were when He divided up the gratitude.
Kurt Vonnegut
#63. I reckon that's the one thing you and I have in common - we both care about Em."
She gave him a small smile. "And we both have naturally charming dispositions."
His lips curved a little at her sarcasm. "That, too.
Kady Cross
#64. Yeah, because you'll really be showing them, won't you. Talk about cutting up your wrists to spite your fate.
Alexander Gordon Smith
#65. I know that you're worried about me, but crushing my lungs isn't going to help anyone.
Sara Massa
Famous Authors
Popular Topics
Scroll to Top
