Top 39 Sarcasm Only Quotes
#1. It's wildly irritating to have invented something as revolutionary as sarcasm, only to have it abused by amateurs.
Christopher Moore
#2. I can do only one thing at a time, but I can avoid doing many things simultaneously.
Ashleigh Brilliant
#3. The only thing that's fair about me is the colour of my hair. People should remember that.
James McClure
#4. Innocent tourists? You make me sound like the big bad wolf."
"And you're not?" I questioned.
"Only if you're Red Riding Hood," he said flirtatiously.
"Wow, that's original.
Alyssa Rose Ivy
#5. I love having to attend the one class that is being taught by a professor who feels that their class is the only class being taught at the University and gives nothing but busy work.
Heather Chapple
#6. He seemed only ... annoyed. Annoyed, and sweaty, and hot.
"Yeah, well," he said, "the next time you decide to sneak out of our magically warded apartment through a door that shouldn't really exist, leave a note.
Cassandra Clare
#7. Relationships are so much like the United States - they only really thrive when faced with an external threat.
Laura Pedersen
#8. Having your own church doesn't make you a good guy. It only makes you tax-exempt.
Lisa Kleypas
#9. The standard clauses of the American dream only included two weeks of vacation a year.
Jeff Deck
#11. Come on, there's no one there. You want coffee?" Tess asked.
"Yeah, sure, why not? I'm only on the brink of a nervous breakdown. I don't imagine why caffeine wouldn't help this situation.
Frankie Rose
#14. If I gave up sarcasm that would leave interpretive dance as my only way of communicating.
Michael Robotham
#16. The earl shook his head, exhibiting a degree of frosty offense that could only be achieved by an aristocrat whose wishes had just been gainsaid. "I've never heard of a man being so eager to confess to the parent of a girl he's just ruined," he said sourly.
Lisa Kleypas
#17. What's it like? Ballet school?"
"Harsh," he said. "Everyone dances until they collapse. We eat only raw-egg smoothies and wheat protein. Every Friday we have a dance-off and whoever is left standing gets a chocolate bar. Also we have to watch dance movies constantly.
Cassandra Clare
#18. So this was the rest of his life. It felt like a party to which he'd been invited, but at an address he couldn't actually locate. Someone must be having fun at it, this life of his; only, right at the moment, it wasn't him.
Margaret Atwood
#19. Oh, that's great. That way, when things have quieted down, and we come up for air, or money, or re-supply, we'll get a nice explosive package from him that says "so nice to see you again" in a way that only multi-megaton yields can.
Howard Tayler
#20. The only times you say what I'm thinking, it's without any of the sarcasm and therefore the exact opposite of what I mean.
Brian Clevinger
#21. Take her home."
Nick fake salutes. "Sir,yes sir."
"Sarcasm doesn't become you,Colt," Coach Walsh says,but he smiles when he says it, so obviously he is only mad at me,not superboy Nick Colt,beloved of coaches everywhere. If I were a guy he would let me run tomorrow.
Carrie Jones
#22. Life has a whimsical way of kicking you in the throat. I find it to
be one huge cosmic joke at our expense, only nobody is laughing
but the forces that be - given that they are even a wee bit human.
Lori Goldson
#23. As I said, this was my sarcastic summer. It was only long after that I recognized sarcasm as the protest of people who are weak.
John Knowles
#24. Don't worry about it; only worry about how people like her breed.
Gasmaskman
#25. But the people only talked about how ugly her face looked. No one even bothered to mention what a sweet, kindhearted girl she was. Now, don't be amazed! That is just the nature of humans, to notice the one flaw among a person's ten good qualities.
Janaki Sooriyarachchi
#27. I do." He was clearly amused by my disdain. "We have only been speaking for two minutes, Paige. Try not to waste all your sarcasm in one breath."
I wanted to kill him. As it happened, I couldn't.
Samantha Shannon
#28. Past misdeeds must only serve as a reference point in calm conversation about lessons learned or actions that taught us to behave better. They should never be bantered about with sarcasm, anger, or nastiness.
Cathy Burnham Martin
#29. Best to have only a few absolutely perfect trait - for example, my hair and eyes and sparkling personality - so you don't overwhelm.
Kiersten White
#30. Amy, Dan, and Nellie were sitting at a table in a conference room, examining reproductions of Franklin documents-some so rare, the librarians told her, the only copies existed in Paris.
"Yeah, here's a rare grocery list," Dan muttered. "Wow.
Rick Riordan
#31. Say this one time with me: "Would you like that in a pump or a loafer?" ... Good. Now memorize it, because starting tomorrow, the only job that you're going to be able to get is selling SHOES!
George Huang
#32. I have no doubt that they'll tell you a lot of kind things about me when my back is turned. They may not have been behind the door when God passed out the pretty faces, but Heaven only knows where they were when He divided up the gratitude.
Kurt Vonnegut
#33. My son Cooper has just turned ten and the sarcasm fairy has already started to take up residence inside his body. Not only am I living with my mother - again! - but I've also got her mini-me to contend with.
Melissa Rivers
#34. My heart swells," she mimicked. She snapped out of her caricature, and said sternly, "Woman don't like to be on the receiving end of sarcasm."
"They only like to give it," he drawled.
Julia Quinn
#35. I was supposed to be waiting up here when you got back, only your Phoenix lot got in the way ... "
"Yes, they do that," said Dumbledore.
J.K. Rowling
#36. But there was no going back to that idyllic time when only one god wanted to kill me.
Kevin Hearne
#37. Being skilled in Catsism is like being a ninja only deadlier and not so silent. The only bad thing is the sickening grammar you have to use.
Will Advise
#38. The New York Times editorial page is like a Ouija board that has only three answers, no matter what the question. The answers are: higher taxes, more restrictions on political speech and stricter gun control.
Ann Coulter
#39. If only there was enough space on this tiny card to evoke my unfettered joie de vivre for what you have done. The gaiety, the mirth, the heavenly bubbling of every effusive cell that sings inside me for your kind and pithy offering.
Joshua Braff
Famous Authors
Popular Topics
Scroll to Top
