Top 80 You Are A Jerk Quotes
#1. Some jerk infected the Internet with an outright lie. It shows how easy it is to do and how credulous people are.
Kurt Vonnegut
#2. The wedding vows are a license to be a complete jerk, with full knowledge that the person you married has agreed, no matter how large a horse's ass you are, to stay by your side until death. A fool could tell you this is a bad deal.
Adriana Trigiani
#3. True friends are the ones who will tell you when you are being a jerk or worse and still hang out with you.
Darrin Wiggins
#4. If I was to interrupt this article every few sentences, asking you whether or not I was making a good impression on you, I hope and believe that you would think I was a servile jerk. Yet this is what our politicians are doing in every speech.
Christopher Hitchens
#5. If you run into one jerk in a day, that person is a jerk. If everyone you run into all day is a jerk, maybe you are the jerk.
Brian Iverson
#6. If a jerk burns the flag, America is not threatened, democracy is not under siege, freedom is not at risk.
Gary Ackerman
#7. Er ... er ... Just because someone's a member of an ethnic minority doesn't mean they're not a nasty small-minded little jerk, sir?
Terry Pratchett
#8. I just found out that I'm scared of heights, Bri, he rasped out. Gone was the cocky jerk. This was my cousin, the one who had come to check on me when we were younger because I left and didn't wait for them.
Tijan
#9. We overweight people, we say terrible things to ourselves. Oh, you wouldn't believe it. 'You fat pig. How can you do this? You're a disgusting jerk.' And that gets you nowhere. That gets you right back into a bowl of pasta fregula.
Richard Simmons
#10. I jerk my head toward Thomas and immediately curse myself for trying to be a smartass. My head is not healthy enough for smartassery.
Kendare Blake
#11. I love how New York is so multicultural. I wish I was ethnic, I'm nothing. Because if you're Hispanic and you get angry, people are like, 'He's got a Latin temper!' If you're a white guy and you get angry, people are like, 'That guy's a jerk.'
Jim Gaffigan
#12. If it's that jerk, he's going to see my gun. 'My body is a weapon.' Dumb sh*t. I bet my gun can take out his body really damn quick.
Lexi Blake
#13. People think: 'If this photographer's looking like a big jerk-off, maybe it's okay if I do.' I like to catch my subjects off balance a bit.
Mick Rock
#14. How can you possibly think I'd want you to sacrifice yourself to save me? As if there wasn't enough danger, now I have to worry you'll take a bullet for me."
My arms crossed as his anger ignited my own.
"As if, you jerk. You can take your own stupid bullet.
Corrine Jackson
#15. Ready comprehension is often a knee-jerk response and the most dangerous form of understanding. It blinks an opaque screen over your ability to learn. Be warned. Understand nothing. All comprehension is temporary.
Frank Herbert
#16. I do what I do for the people who believe in me, not for the jerks who don't.
Terry Fox
#17. Who the hell wants to be the one to tell a kid that santa claus isn't real. it's the truth, right? but you're still a jerk for saying it.
David Levithan
#18. I will never grow thick skin so that you don't have to feel bad about being a jerk to me.
Dan Pearce
#20. I think that you are an uptight, pony-owning, trickle-down-economics-loving, Scotch-on-the-rocks-drinking, my-wife-better-take-my-last-name sexist jerk!
Julie James
#21. You are avake, yah?" said a voice in a horribly recognizable accent.
"Yah," I muttered, rubbing my head. "And you are still a jerk, yah?
James Patterson
#22. Well, maybe you should tell me before you get angry at me for doing something I didn't know you didn't want me to do. And maybe when you get angry you'll find a way to let me know you are without being a total jerk.
Kristen Ashley
#23. Tired of trying to sort them out, you relax for a second, then your head drops and you sit up with a jerk, Where are you? What are you doing here? Oh yes, of course, you are somewhere in the middle of the North Atlantic, with hungry waves below you like vultures impatiently waiting for the end.
Amy Johnson
#24. You can ask anybody in the room. My numbers are the worst in here but I'm still a jerk to everybody, yelling at everybody, getting them going. Once I get it back, then I'll be even worse to the guys.
Billy Koch
#25. You are not my sunshine. Sorry. You're more like a gust of arctic wind that bursts in and blows out all the candles when the door cracks open.
Richelle E. Goodrich
#26. There are a lot of things about having money that are perceived to be cool but that aren't. Maybe if you're a CEO jerk who likes going coast to coast by himself in a G4, then that's fine. But that's not me. And it never will be.
Nolan Bushnell
#27. You're either humble or you're not. If you were a jerk before the fame, you just become a jerk with a bigger spotlight. Whoever you are really comes through.
Oprah Winfrey
#28. I know that I'm definitely not a big big snob, and I know that at the times that I am a diva I know I'm being a diva. It's kind of annoying to know that you are. Because it's a person I do not want to be. So I'm trying my best not to become a jerk.
Jackie Evancho
#29. I'm 48. For a while after 'The Jerk' (movie) I had a feeling of failure. I was a little scared. First people discover you and they love you. You get big and then you fail. And people are glad that you fail. But I've always come back and I've started to trust myself.
Steve Martin
#30. You have to admit you're a jerk and that everything was all your fault." "So, like, what men are supposed to do in general," I said.
Gillian Flynn
#31. Johnny Rotten. He's a big fan of mine. I used to see him out in the audience in England and he'd stand up and holler. He's funny. Smart too, and a nice guy. Don't think he's a jerk because he isn't.
Captain Beefheart
#32. I entered Excessive Modesty Mode. Nothing is stupider and more ineffective than Excessive Modesty Mode. It is a mode in which you show that you're modest by arguing with someone who is trying to compliment you. Essentially, you are going out of your way to try to convince someone that you're a jerk.
Jesse Andrews
#33. I fall in love with characters when they're out of their element or are uncomfortable and you really feel for them in a knee-jerk sympathetic way.
Anna Kendrick
#34. Since the only way you are going to find solutions to painful problems is by thinking deeply about them - i.e., reflecting - if you can develop a knee-jerk reaction to pain that is to reflect rather than to fight or flee, it will lead to your rapid learning/evolving.
Ray Dalio
#35. I worked in a grocery store my whole life, Honey-girl. I know what lonely housewives think of this."
"I meant the baby, Jerk."
"Attached to me."
"You think you're cute, don't you?"
"Are you honestly asking me this? I know you're not debating it.
Pella Grace
#36. The little people will get even, which is one of a thousand reasons why they are not little people at all. If you're a jerk as a leader, you will be torpedoed. And usually it won't be by your vice presidents; it will be on the loading dock at 3am when no supervisors are around.
Tom Peters
#37. People are surprised that I'm nice and it helps me out a little bit; it's easy to be nice when everyone thinks you're going to be a jerk but if people think you're a nice guy then it's tough because it's what they expect.
Anthony Jeselnik
#38. You are such a jerk! Get back here!"
"Jerk?" he repeated. " You're the one spying in windows.
Becca Fitzpatrick
#40. Sometimes you are being interviewed by someone and you think, if I knew this person they'd be my best friend. Other times you're being interviewed by a complete jerk.
Judith Guest
#41. What a diva!"
"Stupid, men can't be divas ... "
"Divo, then."
"That just sounds weird. Call him a jerk and be done with it.
Lisa Mantchev
#42. Upon her butler's announcing the arrival of Mr Ravenscar, Lady Mablethorpe, who had been dozing over a novel from the Circulating Library, sat up with a jerk, and raised a hand to her dishevelled cap.
Georgette Heyer
#43. He's a jerk."
"No Luminista. He's a young man who loves you but doesn't know how to treat you right yet. You have to show him how. Show him that you can take what he dishes out without crumbling. That you're beautiful and strong, and he should lift you up, not tear you down.
Ednah Walters
#44. Naked and fully aroused, they were both clearly ready to go, and Tate couldn't stop himself from spitting in his palm and starting to really jerk himself off. "You dirty fucker,
Ella Frank
#45. I want to give you back your first kiss, the one that jerk stole from
you. And I want it to be something that even a coma can't make you
forget.
Shelly Crane
#46. I've got a dad thanks. Your just the jerk who knocked up my mum and left her to figure out what to do with a son who likes setting things on fire. - Adam Vasic
Kelley Armstrong
#47. He's like the kid they use down in Louisiana as alligator bait. They tie him to the end of a rope and he walks out into the swamp. All the kid can do is hope they jerk the rope back in time.
Michael Levine
#48. I had a stupid crush on a guy who barely tolerated me most of the time. Was that the kind of girl I was? Pick the jerk over the nice guy?
Kelley Armstrong
#49. And sometimes it's the very otherness of a stranger, someone who doesn't belong to our ethnic or ideological or religious group, an otherness that can repel us initially, but which can jerk us out of our habitual selfishness, and give us intonations of that sacred otherness, which is God.
Karen Armstrong
#50. Just because you were inside me does not make us betrothed, you Neanderthal jerk.
Kate Meader
#51. Strigoi or not, I didn't trust him. He was a jerk, and I silently screamed at Lissa to get out of there, not that my screaming did much good. Stupid one-way bond.
Richelle Mead
#52. On Dealing with Bullies "You're going to run into jerk-offs, but remember: It's not the size of the asshole you worry about, it's how much shit comes out of it." On
Justin Halpern
#53. These days he was like a zombie, all grim business, just another jerk with an erection.
Tom Perrotta
#54. When it comes down to it, no matter how pious or like-minded he might be, a Christian jerk is still a jerk.
Kevin Roose
#55. You're gay," wash stated.
Rhodes nodded, a short jerk of his head, dropping his gaze to his beer.
"As in, you-like-men gay."
Still eying his beer, Rhodes gave an affirmative shrug.
"As in, you like-to-fuck-men gay."
"Yes!
Katie Allen
#56. There's something about a guy who admits he's a jerk that makes him forgiveable.
Lisa McMann
#57. He (life) got to his feet with a sudden jerk,
collected his blanket
and then darted away in such a great haste
that till this date, I've not seen him again.
Suman Pokhrel
#58. How can you be so nice to me and how can you forgive me when I've been such a jerk?"
Maddy appears to think for a moment. "When you are reading a book and you finish a chapter, you don't keep re-reading the chapter you just finished. You move on to the next chapter to see what happens.
Stephen Reid Andrews
#59. I think you need a concrete, real-world metaphor to talk about inner life without feeling like a jerk.
Tift Merritt
#60. Being a jerk is more of a habit or a personality trait of sorts, not an attitude. It's incurable.
Cameron Jace
#61. He stands watching me, motionless in those drawstring pants, his legs braced in a fighting stance, his eyes bursting with need. His broad shoulders jerk with his breaths, and he curls his fingers into fists at his sides. The deep roughness of his voice scrapes my flesh. Come here then.
Katy Evans
#62. He maybe be a jerk ... but he is my jerk ... he is my father. - Amber Brown
Paula Danziger
#63. I know that I was a total jerk for a few weeks. But I do trust you," Fitz told Sophie. "I hope you trust me.
Shannon Messenger
#64. It is my sincere desire that my research and hard work will help create a world where we all learn to walk this Earth, safe, enlightened and free from the perils of cruelty, ignorance, and all the other dark and sinister forces, which make assholes possible.
Alexei Maxim Russell
#65. Caleb had been my imperfection, with his slightly Americanized British accent, and the way he could play any sport and quote any philosopher. He was such a mix of class and jock, romance and jerk, it made me crazy.
Tarryn Fisher
#67. You want to be a better person? Go listen to someone you disagree with. don't argue with them just listen. It's remarkable what interesting things people will say if you take the time to not be a jerk.
Brandon Sanderson
#68. Yeah. Go ahead and pick something to watch," he answers. "I'm just popping upstairs to jerk it and then I'll join you."
"Okay, I think I'm in the mood for - wait, what?
Elle Kennedy
#69. An invisible fire scorched the bottoms of her hands, the feel reminding her of raw energy and stealth, and she tried to jerk away, unable to do so because the man held her in place. He would surely kill her now. No one touched a lion and lived to tell about it.
Destiny Booze
#70. Tawny shrugged. "I was overreacting. Typical big sister move. He explained why he did it, and it makes sense, in a slightly twisted way. He's not a bad guy. He's just a jerk. But a nice one."
"That doesn't make any sense."
"Men rarely do.
Chelsea M. Cameron
#71. No. Sorry. You have spent months being the biggest jerk to me. You don't get to decide to like me one day and think I will forget that. I want someone to care for me like my dad cared for my mom. And you aren't him.
Jennifer L. Armentrout
#72. What a snarky jerk. (Obviously, I later slept with him.)
Lena Dunham
#73. We never have as great an opportunity to show self-comfort as when others around us aren't. Hint: Don't be a jerk because someone else is. Praise the behaviors in others that you most want to flourish.
Kare Anderson
#75. Happiness, when it comes, is stronger than all the jerk girls in Santo Domingo combined.
Junot Diaz
#76. I knew it," she snapped. "You're no different from all men. You're just another jerk pretending to be single! I didn't wanna wrap a lie into a Christmas present anyway.
Maha Erwin
#77. My job consists of basically masking my contempt for the assholes in charge, and, at least once a day, retiring to the men's room so I can jerk off while I fantasize about a life that doesn't so closely resemble Hell.
Kevin Spacey
#79. It isn't the ups and downs that make life difficult; it's the jerks.
Charlie Chaplin
#80. We get paid to hang out in this beautiful court! Four puppets on a string, just like those two up there (pointing to the two hanging puppets), waiting for someone to jerk them into life and make them talk.
Luigi Pirandello
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