What Time Is It Funny Quotes

#1. When I was a kid, I used to watch 'Laurel and Hardy' with my cousins all the time. I still think they're extremely funny and so surreal.

David Chase

#2. She shows up everywhere, at any time, like she can guess
what we're going to do before we do it."
"The lady is good at what she does," Liam confirmed.
"Can you please not compliment the person trying to drag our asses back to camp?

Alexandra Bracken

#3. So where are the strongAnd who are the trusted?And where is the harmony?Sweet harmony -'cause each time I feel it slippin away, it just makes me wanna cry:What's so funny 'bout Peace, Love, and Understanding?

Nick Lowe

#4. I'm sick of Soup Of The Day, man. It's time we make a decision. I need to know what Soup From Now On is.

Mitch Hedberg

#5. I saw this college team bowling championship. Each team had their own coach. What kind of strategy advice is a bowling coach giving? "You know what? This time Timmy, I want you to knock down all the pins." "You sure?" "Trust me. Just do it son!"

Jim Gaffigan

#6. Ask him what time it is and he'll tell you how the watch was made.

Jane Wyman

#7. I'm gonna go put my earplugs in and practice piano for hours until my fingers bleed. I practice the piano with the focus of Helen Keller - and nothing can distract me from the scent of the music.
-Karen Quan and Jarod Kintz

Karen Quan

#8. Obviously, it's a great privilege and pleasure to be here at the Yale Law School Sesquicentennial Convocation. And I defy anyone to say that and chew gum at the same time.

Gerald R. Ford

#9. It's funny because I'm so used to acting in English that any time I have these moments where I have to speak Russian, it definitely takes a different part of my brain to pull it off, but it's always nice and fun.

Ksenia Solo

#10. I've been loving you a long time
Down all the years, down all the days
And I've cried for all your troubles
Smiled at your funny little ways

Shane MacGowan

#11. It's kind of a funny way to put it, but if you want to study a dynamic economic system, what you'd like to be able to do is focus on the linkages, say, between asset markets and the macro economy without having to model everything at the same time.

Lars Peter Hansen

#12. Funny how we can't hold onto time, even when it's strapped to our wrists

Emily Murdoch

#13. You were spying on me?" I repeated, this time my tone was stern.
"Nonsense! I was making sure you were safe." He answered, fluttering his wings and landing in front of me. "That's what friends do.

Grace Fiorre

#14. I'm currently imagining a few creative ways of causing you extraordinary amounts of pain."
Kingsley raised his chin. Mere inches separated their faces.
"Stop flirting. You know we don't have time for that.

Tiffany Reisz

#15. I saved you," Andersen said at last, slowly but firmly, like Pat was an idiot child who had to be reminded of the basic rules of the universe. To wit: Gravity exists. Time purports to flow in a linear fashion, but it's only trying to fool us. I saved you.

Alex Gabriel

#16. TV was like a third parent- a source of ideas and information and impressions. and not such a bad parent- always with time to spare, always eager to please, often funny.

Bill McKibben

#17. This may sound funny, but as much as the 'Today' show matured me, it also was something of a cocoon. I'd been happy there. I never went into the boss's office and pounded my fist on the desk, saying, 'Give me more money! Give me a prime-time show!'

Jane Pauley

#18. She'd call us her bee-utiful girls and take us for hot chocolate on Mondays, because Fridays didn't deserve all the attention. It was funny. I used to think of myself as a Monday and Ellen as a Friday. But Mondays and Fridays were just twenty-four-hour stretches of time with different names.

Julie Murphy

#19. Scenes change all the time. Scenes will change while you're shooting them, and you just have to roll with it 'cause that's what makes it funny. It's not being stuck in your character and how you're gonna do something, but to react to other people and to really have a real-life conversation.

Yara Shahidi

#20. The first time I passed through the country (Switzerland) I had the impression it was swept down with a broom from one end to the other every morning by housewives who dumped all the dirt in Italy.

Ernesto Sabato

#21. The funny thing is, people's perceptions of what a song is about is usually wrong a majority of the time. But they're still going to read what they want to into it.

Vince Gill

#22. So that's it?" Kenji says. "You just like him for his personality, huh?"
"What?"
"All of this," Kenji says, waving a hand in the air, "has nothing to do with him being all sexy and shit and him being able to touch you all the time?"
"You think Warner is sexy?"
"That is not what I said.

Tahereh Mafi

#23. There's no time to waste," Kai said. He did a backflip off the tower and ran off.
"What is it with that guy?" Jay asked. "Always in a rush!

Greg Farshtey

#24. What's funny about that is when I was writing Twilight just for myself and not thinking of it as a book, I was not thinking about publishing, and yet at the same time I was casting it in my head. Because when I read books, I see them very visually.

Stephenie Meyer

#25. I think comedy is no different now than it was at other points. It takes a long time to get good and know how to distill what makes you funny beyond the realm of standup, which is what I'm trying to do with Teachers Lounge.

Ted Alexandro

#26. You laugh because what's fearful and unknown is also what's funny, you laugh the way a small child will sometimes laugh and cry at the same time when a capering circus clown approaches, knowing it is supposed to be funny... but it is also unknown, full of the unknown's eternal power.

Stephen King

#27. The only reason I'd ever get a sex change operation is to see what it's like to be right all the time.

Brian Wilson

#28. What if you didn't have time to draw them on one day? Or what if it rained and your eyebrows started dripping off? Hopefully her eye pencil is waterproof.

Lauren Barnholdt

#29. You win a race, the next race it's a question mark. Are you still the best or not? That's what is funny. But that's what is interesting. And that's what is challenging. You have to prove yourself every time.

Michael Schumacher

#30. Kane narrowed his eyes. 'Where have you been all this time, Caitlin?' She could see the suspicion in his eyes, the accusation.

'Tied to a radiator.'

'What is it about you that makes people want to cuff you, huh?

Lindsay J. Pryor

#31. It's funny: I spend time in the book criticizing social media, but I'm also aware that a lot of my success is because of social media. I can broadcast myself and my work to thousands of people that are following me or my friends. I do think that social media can be good for self-promotion.

Kim Stolz

#32. It is funny how we often want what we cannot have. What do we do in these prickly moments of disorientation and despair? we plunge in for one dance with our tormentor or we ignore our feelings, hoping in time, they will fade away..

Crystal Evans

#33. What is it? Tens, I can see the stick up your arse from here. I'm dying remember? Dying people don't have time for silly moods

Amber Kizer

#34. It's funny ... musical theater is what paid my rent and kept me going for the longest time.

Bryan Batt

#35. It's funny-my married friends tell me all the time, 'What you have is so much easier.' When you're doing it on your own, you don't have to [argue over] how you're raising the kids.

Connie Britton

#36. Let me tell you something. I'm a funny girl, and I gave birth to what? Funny. I can't help it. It just is what it is, and my kids have been around my antics so long, it kind of rubs off a little bit. So when it comes to what you see, you only see what is really manifesting in our lives at the time.

Niecy Nash

#37. Now, I meant to talk about something else earlier on, and I've forgotten what it was. I've remembered what it is again, but I've also forgotten. And that's really what adult life is like most of the time.

Dylan Moran

#38. One time a guy handed me a picture. He said, 'Here's a picture of me when I was younger.' Every picture is of you when you were younger. 'Here's a picture of me when I'm older.' 'You son of bit, how'd you pull that off Let me see that camera. What's it look like'

Mitch Hedberg

#39. What's funny in 'The Mayor of MacDougal Street' is how Dave Van Ronk talks a lot about the time and how exciting it was and how electric it was.

Oscar Isaac

#40. People have said to me for a long time, "Man you're funny." I say, "Well, I'm quick," but being funny on purpose, take after take - that's why I said for me it was new territory, and so by improvising something might come out that might be good. And it's film, so they can cut it if it isn't.

Denzel Washington

#41. Every time you try to flirt with her, a puppy dies.

Maureen Johnson

#42. I try not to laugh at the fact that even when she's drunk, she has a hard time saying it. "Where do you want me to take you?" She drops her head back against my chest. "You can just keep carrying me. It's very relaxing.

Jessica Sorensen

#43. If this prinicpal thinks blogging isn't educational, he needs his head examined: he should be seeking out every student blogger in the school and giving them special time to blog more - and giving them extra credit besides.

Cory Doctorow

#44. My mother was so house proud that when my father got up to sleepwalk she had the bed made by the time he got back.

Chic Murray

#45. There is a story I always tell my students ... when I came for the 1st time to the US. I didn't speak English (Only Spanish) & I saw on every door the word "exit" which in Spanish means Success = Exito. And then I said :"No wonder Americans are winners ,every door they open leads to success

Pablo

#46. I'd rather be the bloke laughing at other people. I don't need to make people laugh. I surround myself with funny people. I laugh all the time.

Jennifer Garner

#47. The elevator to success is out of order. You'll have to use the stairs ... one step at a time.

Joe Girard

#48. Every time I'm in Canada I feel more Swedish, and every time I'm in Sweden I feel more Canadian. I belong in both places and I love them both equally. It's funny because the Swedes claim me as their Swedish pride and the Canadians call me their Canadian girl. I'll take it all.

Malin Akerman

#49. People ask me all the time, ALL the time, they say the same exact thing. They say, 'Bo, you're an artist ... how do we fix Africa?'

Bo Burnham

#50. All of a sudden Yutaka realized he had created a cloud of dust all around him. Oh no! No! This sucks. This blows more than your mama! Hey, now's not the time to come up with stupid jokes!

Koushun Takami

#51. People want me to be funny all the time. They think I'm being funny no matter what I say or do and that's not the case.

Christopher Guest

#52. I'd love to do a film with Mariah. But it would have to be a comedy. She's the funniest woman in the world, she just cracks me up all the time.

Nick Cannon

#53. I'm really scary in reality. Most of the time.

Robert Pattinson

#54. The great William Shakespeare said, "What's in a name?" He also said, "Call me Billy one more time and I will stab you with this ink quill.

Cuthbert Soup

#55. And if ten percent of men are gay and twenty percent of men are Chinese, what are the odds that a men chosen at random spends his free time and mealtime while on his knees.

Bo Burnham

#56. To be fair he is Lord Byron," Jane said. "I don't know many people who haven't slept with him at one time or another."
Jane Fairfax

Michael Thomas Ford

#57. After two minutes after this time, and I am already there.

Eugene Ormandy

#58. I was deeply unhappy, but I didn't know it because I was so happy all the time.

Steve Martin

#59. The last time I saw African kids this excited, Madonna was at their school with a net.

Russell Howard

#60. It's funny to think that Anson and I were here, in this same place, together all that time ago, and now here we are again. It makes me feel good, makes me feel that perhaps everything doesn't just disappear, that some things are circling back, taking the long way, but circling back towards me.

Helen Humphreys

#61. I hear that I'm funny, and I think I'm funny, but I go in all the time for multicam, and they say that I'm not big enough, or I'm too big. I'm so confused. Okay, well, I'm funny in real life.

Kirby Bliss Blanton

#62. Every time you strip my sword, I owe you a kiss. How's that sound?" I bit my lip to keep from giggling.
"That sounds really dirty."
Patch waggled his brows. "Look whose mind just rolled into the gutter.

Becca Fitzpatrick

#63. You could talk about same-sex marriage, but people who have been married (say) 'It's the same sex all the time.'

Robin Williams

#64. Time goes by at such a pace,it's funny how it's easy to forget her face

Bil Keane

#65. It was the most fun I've ever had on a movie. It was one of the happiest times in my life. I was living in New York, and I really enjoyed acting at the time. Also, it's funny because that was also the time when I went downhill.

Mickey Rourke

#66. Being funny is one of my greatest strengths. I can make girls smile when they're down, and when they're having a good time, I can carry on the joke.

John Krasinski

#67. Remember how he handled the Iran-contra Never Ending Scandal from Hell? He went on national television, the President of the United States, and said it wasn't his fault, because he was not aware, at the time, of what his foreign policy was.

Dave Barry

#68. Next time I will do things to you that will make you lose controll in seconds
-Dimitri.

Richelle Mead

#69. It was a well-known fact that Lorna was leaving in six months' time, since Lorna had been leaving in six months' time for close to twenty-five years.

Danielle Wood

#70. Funny, there had been a time when building things was what America did. From massive dams to towering skyscrapers, from mechanized factories to moon rockets, the nation had created, had viewed that as part of the national identity.

Marcus Sakey

#71. You know, I've always wrote my best stuff when it takes me hardly any time at all. Actually I wrote ... this is actually a really funny story ... 'Ghost Of Vincent Price', I've been wanting to write a song about Vincent Price coz he's one of my favorite characters of all time.

Wednesday 13

#72. It's a funny thing, one day you're living and the next day you're not sometimes, whether you have plans or not. Wishes and wants get trumped by the reaper every time. I don't even know if I would want a warning if it was my time. I think I'd rather be surprised.

Dan Groat

#73. It's funny, 99% of the time, haters and the 1 they hate on have everything in common and could be best friends.

Behdad Sami

#74. In all my movies, there's always a kind of heartfelt element, to be able to do a drama and to be able to spend more time in the emotional stuff with no pressure to get back to the funny that's very liberating for me.

Shawn Levy

#75. My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night it was to time an egg.

Rodney Dangerfield

#76. Look at the limes in this drink, how they float. That's good news. Next time I'm on a boat, and it capsizes, I will reach for a lime. I'm saved by the buoyancy of citrus.

Mitch Hedberg

#77. I hate people who cry around me. I'm not friends with them anymore. Especially girls. Cuz girls are crying all the time. It's like, 'Shut up.'

Robert Pattinson

#78. Dig trenches? With our men being killed off like flies? There isn't time to dig trenches. We'll have to buy them ready made.

Groucho Marx