Cuthbert Soup Quotes

#1. The great William Shakespeare said, "What's in a name?" He also said, "Call me Billy one more time and I will stab you with this ink quill.

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#2. I'll get it, said Jough in his man-of-the-house voice, a full octave lower than his regular voice.

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#3. What's a wingding? Why, a wingding is, uh ... it's just like a shindig but without all the hullabaloo.

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#4. Yes you are right," said Pavel. "We will succeed simply because we are the best in all of world. We will get LVR by using incredible intelligence."
Leon showed he was in full agreement by screaming and hitting himself repeatedly on the head.

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#5. Well, well, well," said Aitch Dee, his arms folded across his chest.
"Well, well, well, well," replied Pavel, not to be out welled.

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#6. We're all from the past and we're all from the future, depending on the point of reference.

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#7. Why is it that they can only come up with one model of spaceship? You would assume such intelligent creatures could, once in a while, put out something in a nice powder blue and shaped like a footstool or maybe like France.

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#8. Outrageous!" said Apalling.
"Apalling!" said Outrageous.

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#9. There is no shortage of well-known pirates, including: Henry Morgan, Captain Kidd, Blackbeard, Blue beard, Yellowbeard, and Yellow beard with Black Roots, who surmised that, if blondes have more fun, then blond pirates must have a heck of a lot more fun.

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#10. I should mention, by the way, that LVR stands for Luminal Velocity Regulator. I suppose it could also stand for Large Venezeulan Rats, but in this case it does not.

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#11. A red eight-sided sign always means:
A) Stop.
B) Go.
C) Danger! Red octogons ahead!

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#12. You see, unlike most writers today, I do not use a computer. I write the old-fashioned way: on the walls of caves.

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#13. When Danger Lurks and your heart is racing, don't be afraid be amazing

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#14. [The main road was] now teeming with people carrying torches, pitchforks, and rakes, and one very confused man who apparently had mistaken the mob for a parade and was marching around with a Swedish flag.

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#15. If there is one good thing about an angry mob, it's that they are so focused on being angry and mobbish that they sometimes miss little things. Things like a horse-drawn cart being driven by the very person who has made them so angry and mobbish in the first place.

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#16. There was a time when, if you encountered someone with a tattoo, you could pretty much assume he was either a sailor or had, at one time or another, been in prison. There was something, it seemed, about men being cooped up together that made them want to draw on themselves.

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#17. Captain Jibby looked at the door, clenched his teeth, and worked his face into a scowl so fierce you would think the door had insulted his mother - which, for the record, it had not.

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#18. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him participate in synchronized diving.

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#19. I'm one-half Cherokee, one-half Irish, one-half Turkish, one-half Australian and one-half Korean." "Excuse me, but that's five halves," said Maggie.

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#20. He's getting away you idiots! Shoot him. I'm wearing Spider-Man underpants!

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#21. These reports that are not explained by natural phenomena or exploding outhouses are known as UFO's, which is the official abbreviation for Unidentified Flying Objects. I suppose it could also stand for Uncommonly Fat Orangutans, but in this case it does not.

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#22. Some quick advice for success in life: Don't be afraid, be amazing.

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#23. On the forest floor was the LVR's smoldering ceiling panel, just lying there like the lid of a sardine can that had been eagerly and violently thrown away by someone who very much liked sardines.

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#24. The internal combustion engine, one of the greatest technological advancements in history, has an unfortunate downside, namely air pollution so thick that, very soon, sixty-four packs of crayons will include the color Sky Brown

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#25. Gone are the days when the old country doctor would drive out to your house and amputate your infected leg for a basket of goose eggs and a rhubarb pie.

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#26. Musicians have always had a better understanding of love than the rest of us. Over the years they have told us that love: is like a rock, is here to stay, is all you need, will find a way, will keep us together, will tear us apart, sucks.

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#27. Snowflakes are unique, just like fingerprints, which means there is nothing quite so unique in the universe as a snowman's fingerprints.

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